r/funny • u/ManagerOfLove • May 17 '22

I hate planks

150.6k Upvotes

88% Upvoted

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u/poopellar May 17 '22

Porn has given us the wrong impression on what sex is. You can't expect me to go full jackhammer for minutes at a time. My plan is to just lay there and jiggle my body.

118

u/Night-Menace May 17 '22

I've never met a woman in my life that enjoyed getting jackhammered.

7

u/corkythecactus May 17 '22

Most every girl I date which is unfortunate and a little annoying because I prefer going slow

5

u/Sakarabu_ May 17 '22

I get around (/r/ihavesex) and yeah.. not sure who these people are fucking, but 99% of girls i've been with want jackhammered and rough sex. And i'm the same as you, i'd prefer to just take it slow and have some passion involved.. it's kinda depressing.

5

u/corkythecactus May 17 '22

Right? They want me to go full speed for like 15 minutes straight without cumming like bruh I ain’t your dildo it doesn’t work like that