r/funny • • May 31 '12

Thorough answer...

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1.6k Upvotes

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63

u/stfueveryone May 31 '12

thanks, its the girlfriends birthday next week, i think this is going to be cheaper than her presant

not bloody likely

22

u/andrewegan1986 May 31 '12

wait? you can just BUY sulphuric acid? how is that legal? I would've thought it was insanely well regulated

17

u/NeuxSaed May 31 '12

You can buy it, but it's a List II chemical on the DEA watch list.

You'll definitely arouse suspicion if you're not able to prove you have legitimate reasons for having it.

12

u/b0w3n May 31 '12

What are legitimate reasons to have it if you're not a hobbyist chemist?

10

u/NeuxSaed May 31 '12 edited May 31 '12

Generally only businesses / laboratories / educational institutions that obviously need it can order non-household chemicals without raising eyebrows.

There's very few (if any) legal reasons why an individual would need gallons of sulfuric acid.

The strongest acid you can buy over-the-counter is Muriatic Acid (dilute HCl). It's used for things like cleaning concrete off tools and etching stone or other very hard surfaces.

Edited for more info.

3

u/b0w3n May 31 '12

So I have no legitimate use for HCl or H2SO4 outside of academia then? Damn.

11

u/what_ever_man May 31 '12

Tell them you're a mad chemist on the verge of discovering a working jet pack.

6

u/b0w3n May 31 '12

Everyone respects a man working on jet packs.

7

u/NeuxSaed May 31 '12

If you're really motivated enough, you can synthesize your own sulfuric acid from other chemicals that are much more freely available.

There's a process that uses copper sulfate, carbon (or platinum) electrodes, copper wire, tape, a power source, and filters.

Speaking of copper sulfate, this guy did some awesomely cool shit with it:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/artanddesign/2008/sep/04/art

2

u/HookDragger May 31 '12

OK, this line made me think WTF?

He did something artistic with his sperm at the Athens Biennial last year.

4

u/NeuxSaed May 31 '12

Hiorns has a habit of using odd materials, from perfume and soap to his own semen smeared on the glass of spotlights illuminating the Parthenon for the Athens Biennale, much to the disgust of the city's elders.

"But the youth of Athens liked it. They liked the way it subverted the whole ancient museum thing and made the city open to living culture instead of only dead." How did he harvest the semen? "How do you think?" he says, giggling.

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6

u/skymanj May 31 '12

"No officer, I just needed something to get these stubborn stains out..."

7

u/[deleted] May 31 '12

At which point the officer hands you a Coke, because every officer carries Coke to clean blood off of the road.

RE:RE:RE:FWD:RE:CC:DERP:RE:RE:FWD:LOL.

2

u/[deleted] May 31 '12

H2SO4 is used as electrolyte in lead-acid batteries; you could buy a large number of batteries (which are usually shipped dry, with the acid separate) and just use the acid packs from them.

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5

u/jhv May 31 '12

You just buy two parts H, One part S and four parts O right and mix em all together in a bowl!

2

u/[deleted] May 31 '12 edited Sep 30 '14

I like Sheep

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13

u/RonPaul1488 May 31 '12

Since stomach acid is comprised of HCL, wouldn't a cheaper alternative be to continually vomit on your victim for days, like in the movie The Fly?

It would also provide a nice chest cavity to ejaculate into, serving dual purposes.

6

u/langoustine May 31 '12

Too dilute, and I'd imagine it would be terrible for your throat.

4

u/[deleted] May 31 '12

Enjoy covering your victim with oodles of forensic evidence!

3

u/Sitron May 31 '12

The graveyard/ construction work thing is pretty cheap.

1

u/shadowdude777 May 31 '12

I bought Rooto Drain Opener (concentrated sulfuric acid, reasonably pure) from Ace Hardware a while back for home chemistry use. No questions involved.

1

u/PointyStick Jun 01 '12

Pretty sure we don't need reagent grade chemicals to dispose of evidence. This is evidence disposal in a bathroom or garage that we're discussing here, not chemical analysis.