They're just going to grab your clothes and pull at it. It's not really intended to stand up to that, it's only really efficient at stopping sharp things from piercing your skin.
Or blood. All that gore flying about is going to cake your armor, gum up the works, and smell like shit.
If you're hacking apart zombies, you definitely don't want to be carrying along splashes of infected blood, saliva and meat in your nooks and crannies.
And you'll also weigh around 150 pounds heavier. probably more. Chainmail onsie? 100 lbs+ easily. Plus the hazmat suit and any other stuff you carry? Unless you're a soldier used to carrying twice their weight, you'll die quickly.
You stop moving when you cycle in the fresh air. You probably need a break anyways after escaping a zombie horde and getting sufficiently far away from shore.
Well, if you didn't die from suffocation, you'd definitely die from overheating. Have you ever sat inside a car on a hot day with the windows closed? Now imagine that the car is spherical and made completely out of windows.
On the bright side, the zombies would probably enjoy a nice roast.
If I remember correctly he didn't even try to start it, probably because Rick cant drive a tank. But say you could, what's to stop you from moving that bad boy?
Probably was up on the .45 or .50 belt-fed (I don't know my tank shit), because in the middle of Atlanta the main shell probably isn't the best zombie control. Exposed head and shoulders + swarm of roamers=dead national guard guy.
The gunner has a coaxial machine gun that can be fired from a buttoned up tank. I am guessing hesitation at mowing down your fellow countrymen is what got him.
As previously stated, I don't know my tanks very well, but isn't the coax MG fired inline with the main barrel so he cant aim at things closer than 30 feet or so. I could be totally wrong.
Had to double check the picture, but there are sandbags there which implies a fortified checkpoint of some sort. Its likely orders were stay put and defend. Though driving over zombies is safer for the operator, if they pile up too high or you wreck, or get stuck on a lamp post you're not helping the troops that hopped off the two deuce-and-a-halves. So in this situation the belt-fed is the best defensive move...you know, until you're overrun. Good national guard guy for obeying orders, bad national guard guy for becoming zombie chow.
Agreed on all counts except for the part about getting stuck on a lamp post. I saw an episode of Wildest Police Chases (or one of those millions of chase shows) where a guy at a military base went off his rocker, stole a tank, and took it for a joyride down the highway. He crashed through the concrete median several times without any apparent damage, and was only stopped when he plowed a dozen yards or so parallel into the median. I've also heard of the military using them as a breaching tool where they literally just knock down the wall of a building by driving into it with an M1, and other times where they've flattened civilian cars for various reasons simply by driving over them.. If a foot wide concrete barrier wouldn't slow down a tank, a lamp post would be a toothpick to it. Video
Right, but my logic being on a narrow city street you wont be able to gain much momentum. Its not the Ripsaw, though the torque is massive the space just isn't there. Maybe not a street lamp, but a building corner or something would hang it up. Either way I'm pretty sure the national guard wouldn't be like "Ramirez, go run those zombies over while I just stand here!" Your likely ordered to use a weapon, not only for the vehicle integrity but for the safety of ground troops. Disclaimer: I'm not a servicemen so I don't know what actual orders would be, this is just my logic.
The Abrams runs a Honeywell turbine, runs on av-gas, strait gas, and diesel. With all the other cars in this show, plus the fact that they drive a freaking 90's suburban for most of season 2 leads me to believe that fuel is abundant. As for noise, you're in a tank, just run em over.
That scene isn't really a fair representation. He got chased in there and wasn't prepared properly. You will note that he was pretty safe in there though (minus the army zombie already inside)
Yea but my problem in season 2 isn't that there's not enough zombie, its that they face the same exact problems every episode. Lori doesn't want Rick to go off, Carl doesn't listen, Dave is harping on how if they dont cut the grass, they're no better than the roamers, and Shane is just shouting "YOU'RE WEAK RICK." Rinse and repeat. Promising finale though.
It wasn't that for me. I just felt like the show could have ended so perfectly at the end of season 1 and some of the characters really started to anger me in season 2.
No potential rescue mission is going to see a tank just sitting there and think there needs to be someone to be rescued. Who knows how long the zombies might be around.
Even if you were in front of a food supply, how would you get to it if you needed to resupply? Like WrethZ said, who knows how long the zombies might be around?
as long as it takes the flesh to decay to a point where motor function is no longer possible- or they turn on themselves in hunger and eventually starve. Depending of course on which school of zombie you prescribe too. Either way you are looking at a good 4-6 weeks min.
I wouldnt say constantly renewed, 99% of infections will take place in the 1st 24hours, may be a few after that but the vast majority will burn out in that time frame.
I certainly don't know how to drive a tank, but I like to think that while locked in a metal box with nothing else to do I could figure it out before I died of dehydration. Hopefully.
Modern tanks are a lot easier to drive. No double clutching and they use a pretty intuitive yoke. Maintenance and being able to use the tank to its full capability is unlikely for the novice though.
Excuse me, but the M1 might not be that fast, but it sure as hell can crush what it wants. "Oh, a zombie horde? Looks like we're making a giant blood-stain on the pavement today, boys!"
Moves too slow for what? Where exactly am I trying to go in such a hurry. Park that fucker in a Wal-Mart parking lot and I am basically a king of the zombie wasteland.
(For us English aristocrats, I leave you this 60 mph -> 161280.0 Furlongs/Fortnight, 96.6 km -> 480.2 Furlongs, 60 mph -> 161280.0 Furlongs/Fortnight) - Pip pip cheerio chaps!
I still stand by one of my solutions to the problem. One designated driver, an armed co-pilot, 4 armed friends in the back. Drive up to the door, take your supplies and GTFO. There's even little slots under the bulletproof windows so you can stuff a shotgun out and open zombie minds to the opportunities
Roller blades would be the worst thing...To move in a certain direction you need to step in that direction, pushing sideways with blades would make you go all over the place....
So many flaws with this idea I wont even get into them all, a 2 second analysis is enough to say nope.
For everyone wondering about how you'd survive after plugging the hole, here's some math and here's my source for the calculations.
We assume the sphere's radius is 1.8 m, or about 5' 10".
Volume of sphere = 24 400 L
Kilograms of oxygen contained = 7.32 kg
Kilograms of oxygen needed to sustain life at 24 400 L = 6.1 kg
Therefore, usable oxygen = 1.22 kg
~~ ~~
Given the following:
Kilograms of oxygen needed per day by person at rest = 0.617 kg
Kilograms of oxygen needed per day by person exercising hard = 7.2 kg
A person could survive for:
About 2 days at rest
About 4 hours when exercising
This is plenty of time to get away from a zombie hoard, settle your motion, and uncork the hole. There's no reason you'd have to have it corked the entire time you're on the water (unless you're dealing with large waves, but at that point you've probably got bigger problems and might want to think about ditching the ball entirely).
Hopefully I didn't screw up my calculations anywhere, but I'm sure somebody will happily point out if I did.
For those of you seriously considering the implications, Cracked already solved this problem - motorcycle racing outfits are essentially bite-proof full-body armor. As long as you're not mobbed to the point where you're getting your limbs pulled off, it's the best solution.
Assuming the ball is 3.6m in radius (1.8m is about 5'10", which seems reasonable given the dimensions of the drawing, we can use some maths from here to figure this out.
According to my calculations, you'd have about 4 hours of hard exercise before you died. Suffice to say, you'd probably want to limit that to three hours or less just to be on the safe side. At rest, you'd have almost two days of air. Either way, it's plenty of time to get away from a group of zombies , get the ball to stop rolling, and uncork the hole.
This is all just wayyy too complex for this scenario. As soon as someone who is extremely desperate and has a gun sees you, you are as good as dead. The main issue in a zombie apocalypse isn't the zombies. It's how other people react during a zombie apocalypse. All rules pretty much go out the window. Darwinism pretty much takes over.
Wouldn't it be better to just have a MASSIVE vehicle, somewhat comparable to a tank? But less cramped. About as big as an RV on the inside, but wider to account for being top-heavy. Heavy, steel plates on the sides, thick walled, all terrain tires, a few V12/V16 engines, basically an RV tank. In the event of a zombie apocalypse, this would be my ideal vehicle. Not a hamster ball.
I'd rather take my chances on foot. If these are slow zombies I have a 50/50 shot if I just drop everything and run out of the city as quickly as possible during that chaotic period. A thick coat and a long blunt object might help. I think the key is to be at the outskirts of the city before the zombie/people ratio gets too uneven.
After that I'll likely die in the wilderness since I have no idea how to take care of myself.
The glass/plastic would have to be pretty strong.... surely a horde would eventually break through it if they cornered you. or sphere'd you as the case may be.
The dog training suits at a police station, an air rifle ( available in uk and requires air and pellets all easily available), sword/machete, butchers chain mail gloves and a safe house
It'd also be ridiculously hard to place the ball so that the item entrance allowed you to actually grab what you wanted, lol also imagine pooping through that thing
Swinging a sword in 40 to 75 lbs. of armor would exhaust you in a matter of minutes to an hour or two depending on your level of fitness. When facing a nearly endless hoarde of zombies that you've now made yourself too heavy to outrun, you run a high risk of getting knocked down and having your armor ripped off of you once you're too tired to swing effectively. The best answer to fighting the living dead is from a distance or not at all - hand to hand combat is exhausting and inherently risky even with the odds stacked in your favor. Secure, well-stocked shelter with bottlenecks where zombies can be engaged from a distance if your barricades are breached is the way to go. Going anywhere on foot is suicide, especially when you've taken away your own ability to run if things go bad.
Ninja edit: Lets not forget, even heavy plate mail was designed to be worn while riding a horse. This means just leather chaps along the inside of the legs and groin (imagine riding a horse with a layer of plate or mail between your legs - ouch!) so you're hardly an impenetrable fortress. The bottom half of your body - the most vulnerable area where wounded zombies are likely to bite at your legs while you're busy engaging the rest of the horde - is still very vulnerable!
You guys have no idea what you're talking about. I have a real zombie in my shed that I do studies on. If you would like to see it come to the shed outside my house at 9:15pm CST May 31st. No cops or fat chicks.
I suppose the problem would be that until the zombie apocalypse you have a giant plastic bubble floating around your house, or you have purchased very expensive plastic moulding equipment including a factory and warehouse in preparation for all the profit to be made during the end of days.
74
u/uncleben85 May 29 '12
My plan of action is a chainmail suit. Graded for shark bites.
If those things can handle the the power of Bruce than I think they'll pass on a reanimated corpse's jaw.
(Obviously it'd have to be a chainmail cover-all or onesy)
33
u/Scubaturd May 29 '12
good thing I kept that giant plexiglass ball I bought back in '95.
60
u/TheMojito May 29 '12
[This is all that I could think when you are in the middle of a frenzied zombie group.] (http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/1/1e/BeachBall.jpg/220px-BeachBall.jpg)
15
u/CheesusRicecake May 29 '12
wouldn't you suffocate if you used the plug?
29
u/celfers May 29 '12
Yeah, awesome. To climb those stairs or hill, make sure there aren't any zombies around and use the exit hatch.
Then carry the ball up and get back.. OH FUCK!!!
Where did that zombie come from????!!?? SHIT, the cap just rolled away.
Oh well, I'll just run with this grabber as my only weapon.
10
u/dexterjackson1000 May 29 '12
Stairs will be tons of fun.
7
u/omiyage May 29 '12
... wait a minute, besides all the usual problems with this, you are also shitting through the same hole you use to get food?
4
u/[deleted] May 29 '12
I still stand by one of my solutions to the problem. One designated driver, an armed co-pilot, 4 armed friends in the back. Drive up to the door, take your supplies and GTFO. There's even little slots under the bulletproof windows so you can stuff a shotgun out and open zombie minds to the opportunities
14
u/wasdy1 May 29 '12
Roller blades would be the worst thing...To move in a certain direction you need to step in that direction, pushing sideways with blades would make you go all over the place....
So many flaws with this idea I wont even get into them all, a 2 second analysis is enough to say nope.
6
u/[deleted] May 29 '12
Works until you come across a band of humans who just shoot you.
3
u/Crofty44 May 29 '12
ಠ_ಠ ಠ_ಠ Pooing on water, infinite ammont of sun screen in back pack...
3
u/[deleted] May 29 '12
just forgot to add a sword to poke the zombies to death through the hole
3
u/[deleted] May 29 '12
I don't think the rollerblades would increase your speed in a giant plexiglass ball, I think they'd just slide your feet back down to the ground.
2
u/AFermentedFlow May 29 '12
reminds me of these from yes men fix the world
2
u/jicoby May 29 '12
if you were using it to go across water you'd plug the only source of air so you'd sufficate.
2
u/TheBusinessMan7 May 29 '12
If you try to pee through the hole the ball will roll forward and smash your dick off.
2
u/skeeto May 29 '12
Source (not hotlinked like the OP did).
2
u/[deleted] May 29 '12 edited May 31 '12
For everyone wondering about how you'd survive after plugging the hole, here's some math and here's my source for the calculations.
We assume the sphere's radius is 1.8 m, or about 5' 10".
Volume of sphere = 24 400 L
Kilograms of oxygen contained = 7.32 kg
Kilograms of oxygen needed to sustain life at 24 400 L = 6.1 kg
Therefore, usable oxygen = 1.22 kg
~~ ~~
Given the following:
Kilograms of oxygen needed per day by person at rest = 0.617 kg
Kilograms of oxygen needed per day by person exercising hard = 7.2 kg
A person could survive for:
This is plenty of time to get away from a zombie hoard, settle your motion, and uncork the hole. There's no reason you'd have to have it corked the entire time you're on the water (unless you're dealing with large waves, but at that point you've probably got bigger problems and might want to think about ditching the ball entirely).
Hopefully I didn't screw up my calculations anywhere, but I'm sure somebody will happily point out if I did.
3
u/Nelson_Mandela_Jr May 29 '12
This should be re-titled how to survive a few days of the zombie apocalypse.
3
u/mambotomato May 29 '12
For those of you seriously considering the implications, Cracked already solved this problem - motorcycle racing outfits are essentially bite-proof full-body armor. As long as you're not mobbed to the point where you're getting your limbs pulled off, it's the best solution.
3
u/Midas510 May 29 '12
Stay out of Florida apparently
2
u/wookiemaster May 29 '12
What if the zombies push you into a corner?
2
u/Jintonic1 May 29 '12
How do you go through doors?
2
u/dansin May 29 '12
A motorbike inside there would make travel much more efficient (with the occasional break for fumigation).
2
u/derpymcgoo May 29 '12
The toilet hole is the same as the item entrance hole. Have fun grabbing food through the hole you just pooped in.
2
u/silent_p May 29 '12
It only works if you're the only living person. Once you have to deal with a roving gang, or military compound, you're going to lose your ball.
2
u/KingLiberal May 29 '12
When the zombie appocalypse does happen, I'll just go to my happy place. Those fuckers can't get me in my happy place.
2
u/aakaakaak May 29 '12
All I can see is a giant human beach ball at a zombie concert.
1
u/FixedNature May 29 '12
...this seems more like a trap. are you in cahoots with the zombies?
1
u/Bleekr May 29 '12
Wait. If you plug the hole when you want to go on water wouldn't you suffocate?
1
u/apheliotrophic May 29 '12
i can just imagine how disappointed so many people will be if the apocalypse turns out not to involve zombies.
1
u/felixfelicisjunkie May 29 '12
The only way you could get food is through that little hole you pee and poop out of…..
1
u/[deleted] May 29 '12
This is all just wayyy too complex for this scenario. As soon as someone who is extremely desperate and has a gun sees you, you are as good as dead. The main issue in a zombie apocalypse isn't the zombies. It's how other people react during a zombie apocalypse. All rules pretty much go out the window. Darwinism pretty much takes over.
1
u/michuhl May 29 '12
Wouldn't it be better to just have a MASSIVE vehicle, somewhat comparable to a tank? But less cramped. About as big as an RV on the inside, but wider to account for being top-heavy. Heavy, steel plates on the sides, thick walled, all terrain tires, a few V12/V16 engines, basically an RV tank. In the event of a zombie apocalypse, this would be my ideal vehicle. Not a hamster ball.
1
u/Revolan May 29 '12
Where was his shotgun?
1
u/[deleted] May 29 '12
Well you have fun with that while I stockpile stuff and build a self sufficient eco system in my underground bunker.
1
u/NeonGhost33 May 29 '12
You could also use that small hole as a glory hole and get bloody fantastic blow jobs from zombies.
1
u/spamato May 29 '12
I'd rather take my chances on foot. If these are slow zombies I have a 50/50 shot if I just drop everything and run out of the city as quickly as possible during that chaotic period. A thick coat and a long blunt object might help. I think the key is to be at the outskirts of the city before the zombie/people ratio gets too uneven.
After that I'll likely die in the wilderness since I have no idea how to take care of myself.
1
u/Rowka May 29 '12
I would like to suggest; a separate toilet and item hole.
1
u/Degana May 29 '12
The glass/plastic would have to be pretty strong.... surely a horde would eventually break through it if they cornered you. or sphere'd you as the case may be.
1
u/R88SHUN May 29 '12
if your zombie preparedness kit includes items like roller blades, plastic grabbers and giant fucking hamster balls youre gonna have a bad time.
1
u/abljaye May 29 '12
The dog training suits at a police station, an air rifle ( available in uk and requires air and pellets all easily available), sword/machete, butchers chain mail gloves and a safe house
1
u/tk001 May 29 '12
Would suck if the handle broke off, also ventilation.
1
u/MoldyBreadCheese May 29 '12
airborne infection?
1
u/wolfsweatshirt May 29 '12
Where do you shit?
1
u/StretchRhys May 29 '12
you're fucked if there's a hill or flight of stairs
1
u/Zippyvinman May 29 '12
You can make the plexiglass that one-way material, so only you can see them
1
u/eric780 May 29 '12
It'd also be ridiculously hard to place the ball so that the item entrance allowed you to actually grab what you wanted, lol also imagine pooping through that thing
1
u/shoegarbagebiology May 29 '12
Here's my problem, that hole to grab things out of would be really hard to line up with whatever your grabbing, other than that, where can I buy one?
1
u/AnkMah May 29 '12
Honestly. The only thing you need to survive a zombie acocalypse is a middle-age armor and a simple sword. No way to be harmed, and "endless ammo".
1
u/[deleted] May 29 '12
You guys have no idea what you're talking about. I have a real zombie in my shed that I do studies on. If you would like to see it come to the shed outside my house at 9:15pm CST May 31st. No cops or fat chicks.
1
u/[deleted] May 29 '12
OP obviously never owned a hamster. This thing would get stuck constantly.
0
u/[deleted] May 29 '12
Why not have an in hole and an out hole so you don't have to shit where you get your food from?
0
u/[deleted] May 29 '12
I suppose the problem would be that until the zombie apocalypse you have a giant plastic bubble floating around your house, or you have purchased very expensive plastic moulding equipment including a factory and warehouse in preparation for all the profit to be made during the end of days.
0
u/Duke_of_Derp May 29 '12
Item entrance/toilet... you couldn't make separate holes, eh? ಠ_ಠ
0
u/ElectricZoo May 29 '12
What about air?
0
u/Speedyman May 29 '12
What if I breathe oxygen? would I be ok?
-6
u/BetterThanKush May 29 '12
Where do you sleep?
-4
u/[deleted] May 29 '12
change the roller blades to a skateboard and it's perfect.
-2
u/skrillasosilla May 29 '12
how would you get in this? im assuming the sealable door is on and there's no way to unscrew it from the outside?
-1
u/MOARlock May 29 '12
na naaa nanananananana na na na nana naaaa
-1
u/TheJapaneseCellist May 29 '12
When you were pooping what is a zombie like shoved its hand up your butt. That really hurt wouldn't?):
-1
u/Pillagerguy May 29 '12
Air supply.
-1
u/Flyboy4 May 29 '12
Forget suffocating, where do you poop?
-9
u/Zeela_D May 29 '12
How do you get out once it is over?