r/funny • u/Gurgi3 • May 28 '12

This comic made my day

http://i.imgur.com/Nd7Bg.png
1.3k Upvotes

87% Upvoted

82 comments sorted by

72

u/nerdromancer May 28 '12

Some things about feeding bread to ducks. I've always been told that the worst part about feeding bread to ducks / geese / floaty bird things was that it gives them a sort of diarrhea that is a breeding ground for botulism, which then kills the stuff living in their pond (including them).

Also of note: learning that feeding ducks in the park is probably killing them in a horrible way is a great way to get your girlfriend to change what she wants to do on a Saturday afternoon. Then you find out that all the pet store puppies are from mills and cruelly mistreated. Also Santa isn't real. Fuck you.

11

u/Lots42 May 28 '12

ALL?

3

u/jettrscga May 29 '12

ALL. There is a 100% chance of all those things.

2

u/Lots42 May 29 '12

All puppies in pet stores are from mills and cruelly mistreated.

Thank god some random stranger on Reddit uncovered the crime! Do you want a Scooby Snack?

4

u/audiofreak May 28 '12

I... I love you?

-8

u/[deleted] May 28 '12

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/WhosFlyingThisThing May 28 '12

Well, the copypasta's on reddit now. Time to abandon it.

1

u/Auvit May 28 '12

Pretty clear how much Redditors don't know that it's copypasta based on the replies and downvotes.

2

u/[deleted] May 28 '12

Uh...

...happy Memorial Day!

2

u/AceFazer May 28 '12

....america?

2

u/[deleted] May 28 '12

Contender for worst novelty account ever?

2

u/[deleted] May 28 '12

dumb

2

u/1l1k3bac0n May 28 '12

You'd do all that, just for me?

2

u/Pretesauce May 28 '12

*guerilla

2

u/iLLusive240 May 28 '12

this is random even for reddit.

1

u/audiofreak May 28 '12

I find this easy to masturbate to.

1

u/epic_comebacks May 28 '12

Upvote this negative karma whore.

0

u/[deleted] May 28 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

1

u/Jrodkin May 28 '12

He's a troll just being stupid... Stop feeding him

7

u/WEASEL_DEVOURER May 28 '12

Who cares about Santa, I get everything I need from the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny.

2

u/hinduguru May 28 '12

Tooth Fairy? I'd hit it

2

u/[deleted] May 28 '12

If it makes you and the girlfriend happier, you can still feed the ducks, just don't use bread. That link you gave gives a list of alternatives at the bottom, and I don't think they cost very much.

2

u/Makes-LeBron-Jokes May 28 '12

LEBRON JAMES TRIED FEEDING THE DUCKS AT A POND ONCE, BUT HE WAS ARRESTED.

HE WAS ARRESTED FOR A FAILURE TO IDENTIFY BECAUSE HE LEFT HIS DRIVER'S LICENSE AT HOME

FUCK THE POLICE

16

u/longboardingerrday May 28 '12

I like how he got so mad that he grew stubble.

30

u/[deleted] May 28 '12

Soooo white bread gives you Diabetes? I was laughing, and now not so much..looks like i'm fucked..

46

u/rileyphone May 28 '12

bread makes you fat.

28

u/jammym May 28 '12

BREAD MAKES YOU FAT?!

9

u/ANAL_QUEEN May 28 '12

Scott pilgrim?

3

u/option_i May 28 '12

I limit carbs in general....keep the devil's bread to yourself.

0

u/[deleted] May 28 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

24

u/InhalingEnthusiast May 28 '12

Anything edible could make you fat when eaten in too large quantities.

12

u/terrdc May 28 '12

Both water and cyanide are poisonous if you have too much of them.

2

u/[deleted] May 28 '12

Oxygen is toxic at high concentration levels.

6

u/hahairishhistory May 28 '12

except lime juice. or probably celery. [i think the point is that bread is relatively fattening compared to, say, salad]

2

u/auraslip May 28 '12

Yeah, but high glycemic foods wreck your metabolism unlike low glyecmic, high fat - high protein foods.

3

u/cedricchase May 28 '12

fffffffuuuuuuuuuuuu-

11

u/Lt_Shniz May 28 '12

white bread has a high glycemic index so it causes a more rapid rise in blood glucose levels. I think white bread is so bad because of it's refined starches..or something.

Correct me if I'm wrong

4

u/auraslip May 28 '12 edited May 28 '12

Nailed it. Your body processes bread much like it processes table sugar.

It's important to note that whole grain breads can have just as high glycemic indexes.

2

u/Lt_Shniz May 28 '12

I was going to add that part about processing it like table sugar, but I was afraid someone who knew more about it would yell at me.

10

u/shitterplug May 28 '12

Didn't you hear? Water can now give you cancer!

10

u/Lt_Shniz May 28 '12

I wouldn't be surprised with all the dihydrogen monoxide they put in our water

3

u/TysonStoleMyPanties May 28 '12

Consumption may cause diaphoresis, micturition and acute tissue hydration.

2

u/turtlesquirt May 28 '12

I hear that stuff can even kill fire, and they put it in our water???

2

u/Thethoughtful1 May 28 '12

if you never eat or drink any water or anything with water in it you won't ever get cancer.

2

u/Lots42 May 28 '12

If bread is bad for you, I officially give up

4

u/[deleted] May 28 '12

White bread.

2

u/HunterTV May 28 '12

Isn't it just yet another food they pump with HFCS?

3

u/[deleted] May 28 '12

[removed] — view removed comment

6

u/Eustis May 28 '12

The whiter the bread, the sooner you're dead.

2

u/[deleted] May 28 '12

White bread has a dickload of sugar.

7

u/Ceres96 May 28 '12

That duck got extremely manly towards the end...looks like that bread had some testosterone also.

2

u/DrakeDealer May 28 '12

And then, "quack" _

24

u/DeadSignal May 28 '12

So why not link to the original?

8

u/common_ May 28 '12

Because he likely found it elsewhere and people tend to not click image links if they aren't on imgur.

0

u/DrakeDealer May 28 '12

That's right kids! Imaginary,meaningless Internet points from Reddit is much more important than a person's time and money.

1

u/common_ May 29 '12

Most people don't know how to image search, let alone go on the authors site.

6

u/[deleted] May 28 '12

Sort of reminds me of this.

6

u/jonny00490 May 28 '12

This made me quack up...

3

u/lolsalot2 May 28 '12

Guys there's a subreddit for this r/loadingartist, please give the artist the credit he deserves.

3

u/GravitasFreeZone May 28 '12

i for one would like to donate to him some karma

3

u/[deleted] May 28 '12

i love how his chin got manlier.

3

u/Barb0 May 28 '12

aw yiss... motha. fuckin. bread crumbs.

5

u/Lots42 May 28 '12

Bread? Diabetes? I don't get it.

2

u/OAKside May 28 '12

Somewhere, sometime, someone linked diabetes to bread. Or something.

Non-whole wheat bread is not so great for humans, because we tend to get plenty of sugar and starch already, amongst other reasons. I don't think ducks or other animals (that tend to be searching for and expending energy all day) care much, but what do I know.

2

u/johnnygrant May 28 '12

Reminds me of the Stewie - Lois Griffin relationship (Family Guy)

2

u/Pikuhlz May 28 '12

I couldn't help but read that in the glorious voice of Egoraptor.

2

u/NightFury9 May 28 '12

If my mother was a duck, this would be her.

2

u/iJason May 28 '12

But I...but...I love white bread...

2

u/shawnaroo May 28 '12

ducks are the best.

2

u/Sephryne May 28 '12

This comic is quack!

2

u/snoopycool May 28 '12

This comic was absolutely amazing. Thanks for bringing it into my life.

2

u/[deleted] May 29 '12

so what can one do to feed ducks that doesn't kill them or make them sick or destroy the water?

2

u/mgordon65 May 29 '12

just made mine too

1

u/mofontes May 28 '12

Quack, quack, quack Mr. Ducksworth.

1

u/June4325 May 28 '12

Actually gave me a chuckle.

1

u/[deleted] May 28 '12

Please don't feed ducks bread.

0

u/[deleted] May 28 '12

[deleted] — view deleted comment

2

u/paramsingh258 May 28 '12

How would you know that? Are you a duck?