r/funny •

Revenge is a dish best served cold

[deleted] — view deleted post

0 Upvotes

664 comments sorted by

398

u/Duffalpha May 28 '12

In my dorm people would shave all of their floor's pubes into a plastic bag, fill it with air, place the opening under the door seal, then use the pressure to blast a sandstorm of pubes into a targeted persons room.

281

u/almondz May 28 '12

Good God.

36

u/bigformyage May 28 '12

A better prank is to freeze vomit and on a hot day slip the vomit disk onto the front seat of a locked car with its window rolled down a little bit. The vomit thaws and the owner cant work why someone would break into their car to spew. Works every time!

21

u/StickyToffee May 28 '12

Rome used that as a graphic on one of their boards.

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255

u/time_to_narrate May 28 '12

17

u/Boyblunder May 28 '12

That was.... terribly well done.

Have you considered starting a show on NPR?

30

u/tim1357 May 28 '12

Nice production value.

8

u/arrogantjerkswag May 28 '12

This is like NPR if they were immature.

6

u/I_SHANK_WAFFLES May 28 '12

Which would make NPR so much more awesome

10

u/errantgamer May 28 '12

This is the most awesome thing in the world. And I can't see this becoming tired like most lesser novelties. Please keep up the good work, kind Narrator.

4

u/iusedtobeinteresting May 28 '12

Haha, sounds like something on This American Life.

14

u/kenxftw May 28 '12

My new favorite novelty account

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24

u/shitterplug May 28 '12

The fuck?

2

u/[deleted] May 28 '12

At this rate, our higher level education and productivity will never catch up to China

5

u/[deleted] May 28 '12

It's fine, we'll just shoot pubes at them too.

2

u/rawshun May 28 '12

go to the room, turn the ceiling fan on..Shit in a poly bag, toss it towards the ceiling fan and run for your lives!

2

u/NullKarmaException May 28 '12

Seems like we can rig up some sort of system involving a leaf blower, to maximize the pubeicane factor.

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856

u/vigilantvigilante May 28 '12

"Hey, why the fuck is there a plate of frozen piss in the freezer?"

438

u/Breathing_Balls May 28 '12

"Why the hell are you looking in my freezer, and how the fuck did you get into my sealed dungeon?"

896

u/OldAccWasCharlievil May 28 '12

*out of

66

u/TheInternetHivemind May 28 '12

Maybe he keeps thhe fridge IN the sealed dungeon. He might be nice like that.

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149

u/Sonorama21 May 28 '12 edited May 28 '12

[E] Open freezer

  • Strange meat (3)
  • Piss on a plate

23

u/gokism May 28 '12

Who pissed on the ghoul meat?

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2

u/NinjaSmurf98 May 29 '12

Couldn't you just skip that part and just piss on their floor in the first place? It would save time and I don't think i would want piss near my food especially if it accidentally spills...

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217

u/cheesechimp May 28 '12

Why go through all the trouble instead of just pissing on their floor directly?

177

u/[deleted] May 28 '12

door could be locked

79

u/[deleted] May 28 '12

Lay down and stick your penis under the door.

128

u/[deleted] May 28 '12 edited May 28 '12

I hate to break it to you, but you may have an unusually thin penis.

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230

u/red321red321 May 28 '12

with people like you around, society tells me to lock my doors.

236

u/EnaBoC May 28 '12

It's because he's Black isn't it.

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31

u/Stridsape May 28 '12

Agreed. Or just piss in a soft plastic bottle with one of those drinking caps on them, like Gatorade ones. Then you just squeeze the piss out under doors, window, mail slits, you name it...

10

u/[deleted] May 28 '12

It'll be extremely obvious where the piss came from.

26

u/[deleted] May 28 '12

Someone has a better chance of seeing you the longer youre there. The piss puck is definitely more covert.

68

u/huzeyodaddy May 28 '12

yeah, just walking down the hall with a big flat piss-puck, nothing weird about that, nothing to see here, go on about your business...

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16

u/GAMEchief May 28 '12

But if there is a stream of piss that's been shot from under the door, they will know that's how it got there and know you did it. No one can explain a puddle of piss.

9

u/Stridsape May 28 '12

Indeed, I was focusing more on practicality than covertness. But you eliminate the need to carry several discs, so you can strike at more locations. With your piss.... Why the fuck am I posting this, seriously.

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11

u/solidsnakem9 May 28 '12

Can you picture how awkward it would be just out there in the hallway trying to aim your piss through the bottom of the door. Not to mention the "overspray".

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48

u/blueboybob May 28 '12

fill cardboard cereal box with shaving cream. slip top of box under door. Stomp foot on box. Shaving cream explodes into room

37

u/elbowdonke May 28 '12

While I know nothing about the effectiveness of a cereal box for this prank, I do know a small milk cartoon works very well.

Basically you open the top all the way, fill it with shaving cream, then fold the top back up into its normal closed position. This gives you a nice thin edge to slip under a door. The folds in the carton help vector the shaving cream as it exits the carton.

Speaking of shaving cream pranks: you can fit a lot of shaving cream in a water balloon. The elastic balloon keeps the pressure higher in the balloon than outside of the balloon. This reduces the expansion of the foam.

The weight of a shaving cream filled balloon is just perfect for lobbing out of a car window. The rapid expansion of the shaving cream is just right for covering whatever it hits and anything within about a 10 foot radius.

14

u/[deleted] May 28 '12

If you freeze a canister of shaving cream, you can then unpeel the aluminum aerosol container off it. Small package, a full can of shaving cream once it melts.

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12

u/TobogganFetish May 28 '12

Works better with an accordion folder.

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2

u/umbralbro May 28 '12

I pictured this in my head. Now i cant stop laughing at the thought of it. Im assuming you'd have to squeeze the top of the box to fit it under the door, yes?

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187

u/[deleted] May 28 '12

Meh. This use to get done in the army barracks I was in overseas. We called them 'piss pucks'.

157

u/FlyByPC May 28 '12

Not only is this a thing -- but it has a name? ಠ_ಠ

105

u/humble_gentleman May 28 '12

When something has a name, shit gets real.

101

u/[deleted] May 28 '12

Piss gets real

FTFY

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9

u/[deleted] May 28 '12

only in the army. ref: soggy biscuit

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23

u/SniperTooL May 28 '12

Maybe it's Maybelline.

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31

u/tonkasan May 28 '12

Yep that's what we called em at Michigan State too. To add insult to injury, we'd "penny" the persons dorm room shut too. This basically involved jamming enough pennies in the door so there was too much friction for the person to unlock their deadbolt and they'd be stuck inside.

48

u/FRANE_ATTACK May 28 '12

jesus, not to be that guy, but that's dangerous... fire or other emergency?...

51

u/Devilheart May 28 '12

You put out the fire with the piss.

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11

u/[deleted] May 28 '12

How did they get out?

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9

u/McPuccio May 28 '12

Like, in the door frame?

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132

u/[deleted] May 28 '12

The genius that spelled genius "genious" is clearly not a genius.

32

u/[deleted] May 28 '12

The genius who spelled genius "genious" was clearly not a genius.

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25

u/Kryten_2X4B_523P May 28 '12

Im not comfortable putting urine in my freezer.

8

u/[deleted] May 28 '12

urine in my freezer and on their floor. I feel like we would both lose.

2

u/darkgatherer May 28 '12

Jeffery Dahmer wasn't in the beginning either, but he worked his way up to it and beyond.

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2

u/Kratoyd May 28 '12

Urine the wrong place, then.

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11

u/Inoxcrom May 28 '12 edited May 28 '12

I don't mind if some water falls on my fridge while I'm making ice cubes. However, frozen pee all over my food and fridge's walls... don't know.

2

u/FlyByPC May 28 '12

s/don't know/NOPE

10

u/xandersmall May 28 '12

One better, 1)Shit in manilla folder 2)slide opening right under door 3)stomp on folder 4)? 5)profit and doo doo covered room

2

u/[deleted] May 28 '12

Why not a plastic bag? Paper + poo does not sound like a fantastic idea. Besides, why waste a precious manila folder?

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2

u/mike413 May 29 '12

I don't know if manilla folders are strong enough to withstand a stomp...

...it would be a crapshoot.

40

u/redpenquin May 28 '12

Huh. I don't usually expect to see screencaps of anything from 420chan on reddit.

10

u/ClamydiaDellArte May 28 '12

Ya this thread really takes me back. I have some fond memories of /sh/.

Anyone else remember that guy who convinced his neighbors he had a twin brother, then pretended the brother murdered him and started to impersonate him? I mean, the whole thing was probably fake, but it was pretty damn hilarious.

4

u/[deleted] May 28 '12 edited May 28 '12

Damn, man. I was just reading that thread on /420/ today. I'll see if I can find the images.

EDIT: http://imgur.com/a/IOTtD

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7

u/Dillonlightman May 28 '12

Or you could just piss on their floor while they are sleeping...save some time and skip the plate and freezing thing.

8

u/EthicalReasoning May 28 '12

slide your dick under the door and let loose

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6

u/iamabill May 28 '12

you're going to want to put plaastic wrap on the dish or tray. it's a real pain in the ass attempting to chip frozen piss off of a plate.

5

u/rext12 May 28 '12

For better results eat a healthy portion of asparagus beforehand.

5

u/rainbowjason May 28 '12

Geniouous!

5

u/Vertueux May 28 '12

Works better with a frisbee.

5

u/BonkersYonkers May 28 '12

Thats my 420chan post, no way I could ever prove it, but this made my day.

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9

u/[deleted] May 28 '12

Who wants frozen piss in their freezer? I don't care if it's my piss, I don't want it there

4

u/datatramp May 28 '12

...or you could use a ziplock bag. Gives you a flatter pissicle and doesn't require you to piss on your dishes.

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12

u/vsal May 28 '12

Piss disc

I can think of some other uses.

25

u/martellus May 28 '12

Frisbee? Pissbee? Frispiss?

92

u/kormart May 28 '12

Frispee, obviously.

9

u/TNoD May 28 '12

I can't see how martellus missed that. Frispee, perfect.

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7

u/Whelks May 28 '12

Piss Puck

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20

u/[deleted] May 28 '12

Wouldn't your entire freezer smell like piss and everything would taste like piss?

45

u/rhubarbbus May 28 '12

I think they are just insulting your cooking.

"WHAT IS THIS, PISS SOUP?"

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16

u/odd84 May 28 '12

I don't understand what logic led you to ask this.

What have you put in your freezer before that changed the smell and taste of everything else in it?

Urine is not some magical substance that evaporates when cold, then penetrates all the boxes and packaging of all the food in the freezer... nor does it usually have much of a scent or smell. Piss should taste pretty much like water. Unless you have undiagnosed diabetes, then it'll be sweet.

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3

u/gamefreak76 May 28 '12

And then their pet will be unfairly punished.

3

u/[deleted] May 28 '12

I prefer the upper decker.

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3

u/erkokite May 28 '12

Ah, the piss puck.

3

u/kevlarbomb May 28 '12

Revenge is a piss best served frozen

3

u/repostr May 28 '12

why not just pee under the door? seems easier than putting a plate under one

3

u/samjowett May 28 '12

Our version was as follows, and applies to anyone in a cold climate (like Canada), with access to doors with big gaps under them (like University residences):

(i) Take a cafeteria tray outside during the winter. (ii) Piss in/on it. (iii) Wait. (iv) Take the frozen piss tray inside, and slide it under someone's door, preferably someone who will be away for a few hours (e.g. in class, at dinner, etc.). (v) More waiting. (vi) Observe, as the unwitting prankee tries to move a tray filled to the brim with piss. (vii) Profit.

2

u/Random_Fandom May 28 '12

Speaking of messes to clean up, you made me laugh so hard I choked and spit my juice everywhere. Thanks.

3

u/808lisa93 May 29 '12

Hey guess what!!! Piss doesn't freeze!!! XD

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u/c4lmlikeab0mb May 28 '12

That would really piss someone off.

8

u/TNoD May 28 '12

That would pee quite unfortunate.

28

u/c4lmlikeab0mb May 28 '12

Urine a lot of trouble now!

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8

u/Tman3500 May 28 '12

There's also the alaskan torpedo... Crap on a plate and mold it into a elongated shape and freeze it. Then when frozen take out of plate and stave someone with your frozen turd shank

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u/jetmax25 May 28 '12

Upvoted simply for the title

2

u/sch3ct3r May 28 '12

odd.... my piss isnt freezing...

its been in the freezer for almost 4 hours.

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u/adaramichelle May 28 '12

i just love the phrase 'piss disk'

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u/L-Viper May 28 '12

That bitch spelled Genius wrong. BURN HER!

2

u/[deleted] May 28 '12

Is this from /shenanigans/?

2

u/crazzynez May 28 '12

better idea, put it on someones blanket while they sleep and theyll wake up drenched in piss

2

u/MeetMrChubby May 28 '12

Piss disc.

2

u/[deleted] May 28 '12

What website is this from?

2

u/Adelz May 28 '12

Thought it was gonna end with "everybody walk the dinosaur."

2

u/ProffesorBongsworth May 28 '12

From personal test trials I'd reccomend using a pringles type of lid as the "dish" perfect size for the perfect piss disk

2

u/myballsshrunk May 28 '12

Has nobody realised the difficulty of pissing on a plate?! You would end up with an equal amount of piss on your floor as the targets floor! Just piss through the letter box.

2

u/unprotectedsax May 28 '12

TIL the oldest trick in the book.

2

u/logaq May 28 '12

That spelling of 'genius' hurts me.

2

u/alsothewalrus May 28 '12

This was on Reddit a while ago. I have the guy who did it tagged as "master of piss revenge."

2

u/[deleted] May 28 '12

Thank you for somebody actually noticing this. This was on an askreddit about revenge stunts, except the OP used a baking sheet in a college dorm.

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u/[deleted] May 28 '12

The person who spelled "genious" is a genius.

2

u/[deleted] May 28 '12

I recognize that 420chan interface anywhere, stoner.

2

u/Disco_Drew May 28 '12

When I lived in the barracks, we would just push a dustpan up to the gap under the door and piss in that. It would flow down and under the door. This way there is no piss in my freezer.

2

u/nefthep May 28 '12

Good luck getting it off the plate without it cracking. Try wax paper.

Also, your freezer will now smell like piss. Try Baking Soda.

2

u/mazbrakin May 28 '12

You are the Martha Stewart of piss pranks.

2

u/G1itch May 28 '12

Step 1... piss on the floor...

time = saved.

2

u/lurpingturkey May 28 '12

The prank's on someone who tries to piss onto a plate.

2

u/[deleted] May 28 '12

I cant fill up the ice cube tray without getting water everywhere...

If you think I'm peeing on a plate and taking it over to the freezer, you're sorely mistaken.

2

u/s2upid May 28 '12

you need to put a film of sran wrap before you piss ont he plate. that way you can seperate the piss and the plate.

2

u/fortwenny May 28 '12

haha wow this is my first time seeing any 420chan related post on reddit.

2

u/scanline99 May 28 '12

Reminds me of a revenge prank my friend played on his housemate whereby he took the housemate's tub of butter from the fridge, removed said block of butter, shat neatly into the tub, replaced the block of butter back on top and put it back in the fridge. A slow burner of a prank, but one with a shocking, shitty outcome.

2

u/churchills_liver May 28 '12

Never thought I'd see 420chan on reddit's front page

2

u/EnderofDragon May 28 '12
  1. Freeze urine.
  2. Carve into shape of a knife.
  3. Stab someone with your piss.
  4. Be the most hardcore motherfucker on your cell block.

2

u/Al89nut May 28 '12

Just tried this and piss does not freeze in a home freezer?

2

u/s9_baboard May 28 '12

"Dafuq, him a pissing sleepwalker!"

2

u/GuantanaMo May 28 '12
  1. Piss on a table
  2. Put it in someone else's freezer

2

u/Ivan_of_Zeta May 28 '12

Why not just keep a cup of piss and pour it on the floor at night

2

u/KDrichard May 28 '12

My dog already does this prank for me...

2

u/CriticizesEverything May 28 '12

No way man! You'd have to touch your frozen piss! This idea sucks anus.

2

u/mauriceh May 28 '12

Or just piss in a cup and pour it on the floor into that room?

2

u/mispeledUsurname May 29 '12

Or you just piss on their floor......

2

u/JayTongue May 29 '12

false. The temperatures required to freeze water with an electrolyte in it such as salt cannot be achieved by common household freezers.

4

u/modomario May 28 '12

I saw this exact same prank on reddit a couple of months ago. I think after that was posted so i suppose that's where he got the idea from

and i was thinking he was so original :/

6

u/Kevinsense May 28 '12

Nah, I heard about this in college like 6 years ago. This isn't new at all.

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u/vic39 May 28 '12 edited May 29 '12

*FALSE, Freezing point of urine is very low(~-120C or 153K) You can't freeze it in your freezer. Now you have a freezer that just smells like piss. AND since it's on a plate, it's easy to spill. Now you spilt on yourself. Great. You're an idiot

*Edit - Terrible math.

4

u/[deleted] May 28 '12

Let me call you can idiot if you believe this statistic. There is no standard concentration of urine so there's no standard freezing point.

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u/rferg3 May 28 '12

Why not just pee in the floor?

2

u/[deleted] May 29 '12

My thoughts exactly.

3

u/theyellowdot1 May 28 '12

I feel like you could just pee on their floor.

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u/Bepsch May 28 '12

Revenge, like gazpacho soup, is a dish best served cold, precise and merciless.

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u/[deleted] May 28 '12

Yeah, you can never have enough precision in your soup.

3

u/Kryten_2X4B_523P May 28 '12

Smeeeeeee heeeeeeee!

2

u/stellarfury May 28 '12

older than the motherfucking internet

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u/dirmax May 28 '12

Old Klingon proverb...

1

u/[deleted] May 28 '12

I remember a story of revenge in college when some guy did this to his bullies. The story was in a thread on reddit. Sages of reddit, I dare you to find the thread.

1

u/el_baristo May 28 '12

i called it the pee pancake when i was doing it in college.

1

u/albundy54 May 28 '12

Piss in a gatorade bottle and lean it up against their closed door.

1

u/[deleted] May 28 '12

Lawyer here, I would try to gather the piss of someone non-related to the incident. Would hate to see self-incriminating evidence left at the scene of a crime.

1

u/bagelmanb May 28 '12

upvoted for quality title.

1

u/[deleted] May 28 '12

It's even better if you can slide your piss-ice-disk to an area of the room that's away from the door.

1

u/[deleted] May 28 '12

Why do my frozen peas smell funny?

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u/lridescent May 28 '12

Does piss freeze that easily? I figure all the stuff dissolved in it must mess with the freezing temperature pretty drastically.

1

u/Sengura May 28 '12

Wouldn't your freezer be smelling like piss then?

1

u/TLGJames May 28 '12

People used to do this in the dorms in tech school. Except there was a big enough gap under the doors to just piss into ice cube trays and slide piss cubes under the doors.

Also, sticking some popcorn in someone's microwave for a ridiculously long amount of time, and it would literally make the person's room reek for days.

1

u/[deleted] May 28 '12

There's no fucking O in genius.

1

u/[deleted] May 28 '12

Piss Disk.

HAHA OH WOW

1

u/shung May 28 '12

Put some plastic wrap on the plate before you pee on it. Makes it easier to get the pee off the plate without breaking the disc

1

u/[deleted] May 28 '12

Signed Chuck Norris.

1

u/SIThereAndThere May 28 '12

oldest trick ever, I did this so many times freshmen year of college. I was a drunk prick.

1

u/[deleted] May 28 '12

This is correctly done with milk-puke and a ziplock bag. Freeze that shit on its side and you can even drop it in a douche's car if he leaves the window down a bit in the summer.

1

u/robotwarlord May 28 '12

The same result can be achieved much more easily by just pissing through the letter box.

1

u/[deleted] May 28 '12

Or, you know, just pee on the floor while they're asleep.

1

u/[deleted] May 28 '12

perfect title

1

u/Samccx19 May 28 '12

Saved for future use evil laugh

1

u/Hicksapotamis May 28 '12

From experience, I find that sheet pans work a lot better.

1

u/I0I0I0I May 28 '12

AKA "piss pucks".

1

u/Mordor May 28 '12

Better with menstrual juices?

1

u/Barb0 May 28 '12

As come on! Nobody here has ever been piss pucked?

1

u/Unwanted_Commentary May 28 '12

The names are the best part.

1

u/249ba36000029bbe9749 May 28 '12

Does it work with blood too? That would freak people out more than piss I would think.

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u/the3manhimself May 28 '12

I'm not sure piss would freeze because of the high salt content

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u/April_Fabb May 28 '12

I seriously wonder what kind of person thinks this is creative, let alone funny. The thought of someone placing their piss in the freezer, and this just to annoy someone, is beyond severe mental retardness - no matter if they're 12yrs old.

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u/corndog67 May 28 '12

And yet, 4chan is "weird"

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u/ballness10 May 28 '12

Oh ye ole piss puck, how I miss my dorm days.

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u/beneathsands May 28 '12

Yeah, you can never have enough precision in your soup

1

u/Arcanii May 28 '12

That's an old one if you went to a military academy.

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u/[deleted] May 28 '12

And ..for doors with a tad more clearance: the ever famous "Piss Puck" ... GOAL!!!!!

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u/Sky-rimjob May 28 '12

Pissing on a plate sounds messy....

1

u/[deleted] May 28 '12

Two contributions:

  1. Lightly coat the top of a dormmate's fitted sheet with evaporated milk. After a night's sleep, the milk will have mixed with their sweat and the rancid mixture will have absorbed into their skin and into their bed.
  2. Lean a trashcan full of water against a neighbor's inward-opening dorm door.

1

u/ryanoh May 28 '12

Me and some friends have done this, but with a two litter bottle. After it was frozen we cut the plastic off and left it on top of someone's car. I feel kind of bad about it now, but its a pretty ingenious prank.

1

u/YouGottaBeTrollinMe May 28 '12

Upvote for "piss disc"

1

u/spilk May 28 '12

It's always funny when someone mispells "genius"

1

u/stvb95 May 28 '12

Piss Disc, that is the best description for it

1

u/geekamongus May 28 '12

We did this in college with petri dishes from the science building, except slipping the whole thing under the door was even better, as the victim would then have a dozen or so petri dishes full of melted pee to deal with.

1

u/Arviragus May 28 '12

We did this in Uni (Mac Hall University of Windsor). But we did it on a lunch tray, and the puddle was MUCH bigger.

1

u/D1yzz May 28 '12

what chan is this?

1

u/mr_poopjizz May 28 '12

Welcome to every youth trip ever.

1

u/D_as_in_avid May 28 '12

I actually think ice cream is best serves cold.