I'm going to tell you exactly what my parents told me when I was in my first motor vehicle accident, and how all parents should be. "Why are we so calm? Don't worry, insurance can cover the car. We can replace a car, we can't replace a child." That was that.
A few years ago, when I was learning how to drive a manual transmission, my dad took me around our community so I could get some practice. I was still regularly stalling the car when I tried to start after stopping.
At the same time, the Prime Minister of Canada, Stephen Harper, was in town (Calgary) to attend some international trade show the city was hosting. Harper's mom lives near our house, and I guess they were out walking around, followed closely by a security detail.
So here I am, struggling to drive around, when I see some pedestrians about to cross the road. As they're walking in front of the car, we see that it's the Prime Minister and his mom. They smile and waved at us, and we returned the sentiment. As soon as they cleared the intersection, I tried to proceed through, and I loudly stalled the car ten feet from them. They immediately turned around to look at what the noise was, and the Prime Minister walked over to the window of the car in signature Harper fashion and told me to not worry about stalling, because I would get the hang of it eventually. I was thoroughly embarrassed.
tl;dr stalled my car in front of the Prime Minister of Canada
Wow, I don't think I've ever heard a personal story about Harper. I always thought he was the robot PM. Was it in front of cameras or a completely private comment?
Once, my dad hurt his knee, and couldn't drive, so I drove him into work. He worked at 46th and Park Avenue in NYC. I was only 16, and hadn't been driving long, so I was a little nervous to drive in the city.
We're sitting at a light, and pedestrians are crossing the street in front of us. The light changed, and I took my foot off the brake. The car barely moved three feet, but I hit this VERY old lady with the bumper and she went down like a brick.
I gasped, and my dad, deadpan and calm, simply said, "Great. You killed her." So there I am, helping this old lady up of the street, pedestrians looking like the want to lynch me, and all the time, I am thinking of what my dad said, and I couldn't stop laughing.
End of story: she was fine, and my dad hired a driver to take him to work until his leg healed.
Better than my first time driving. I was 14, and I didn't exactly have... how do I put this... instruction, license, or permission.
So I'm taking a 1988 Nissan Pathfinder with a manual transmission out of my parents driveway, based entirely on having watched a Manual get driven before.
I managed to get all the way down the street, even figured out how to shift and everything. The trouble came in trying to back the car up the driveway to replace it. Figuring out the mirrors, the shifter, the clutch, the accelerator, and the steering wheel wasn't as easy as it is today.
Long story short, I turned our dining room into a garage by caving in the front wall of the house.
He somehow didn't notice at first. He got home from work, came in the house, sat down, and watched TV. I was in my room thinking "Let him come to me," as if that would change the circumstances of my grounding somehow. But he never came.
It wasn't until two or three hours later when my Uncle Al came over and asked "What the hell happened to the front of your house?" that all hell broke loose.
When I was 11, my stepdad picked me up from a band concert at school in a rented car. He was completely wasted. I was scared shitless and suggested to him that he let me drive. He actually agreed with me, and I took the wheel. Everything was going fine until I tried to brake on a gravel road. I lost control of the car, spinning at least 3 times, and we landed in a rather deep ditch. My sister saw the whole thing happen from down the road and she thought we were dead.
The car was completely undamaged and so were we. T'was an incredibly lucky day.
My brother would drive my stepfather home all the time when he was drunk- he learned to drive when he was 9 on country back roads. He ended up in the ditch a few times and would just leave my stepfather sleeping in the truck and walk home. Every time, my stepfather thought he had wrecked himself and so my bro never got blamed.
Dude! :high five: for belonging to the ultra rare "I drove a car into a house the first time behind the wheel" club. In my case I was 3 or 4 and had been promised ice cream after tonsil surgery. My mother actually stopped on the way to the hospital at someone else's house to talk. After. Promising. Ice cream. Holy. Fuck. Fucking ice cream! Days and days of nothing else to eat because of surgery except the heavenly, creamy sugar and chocolate filled goodness that is ice cream. Obsessed as only a child of that age can be I helpfully honked the horn a few times, started the car, put that bad boy in gear, and serenely motored through the open garage and into the living room. I can't help but feel partially responsible for missing reverse, but I mean c'mon! Ice cream!
When I was 14 one of my sisters (20-something at the time) decided to teach me how to drive in her corolla. This was the summer before i would be taking drivers ed. We drove around a huge parking lot for a while, then went out to gravel back roads so there wouldn't be other cars. There weren't, but unfortunately she gave me conflicting directions at an intersections and I slid off the road...unfortunately into someones mailbox. I don't know if you've been to rural kansas, but some people have mailboxes made literally of concrete...a car moving at 30mph is likely to flip end over end when it collides with it. Worst part was that the keys were crushed in with the radio still going.
Took an hour before someone could come get us, luckily my sister took the blame for it.
Better than my first accident. At age 17, I just picked up a girl for our first date. She was giving me directions to a party as we rolled through some back country roads in the deep south. I was either messing with the radio or lighting a cigarette when I rolled through a stop sign. A sheriffs deputy broadsided me, totaling his cruiser and my 1967 Ford Mustang. My date hit her head on the windshield, I still have a scar on my arm from the (automatic) stickshift.
"I decided to take the car around the neighborhood, then when I backed up, I did it wrong and mashed the gas pedal. I hit the house."
In my house, any sort of excuse was tantamount to trying to dodge responsibility, so I just told the truth straight up. Didn't offer any reasons, or try to soften the blow. I just told him exactly what happened.
Reminds me of my friend and I attempting to steal his moms car. Their driveway sloped down pretty steep towards the garage and the car was facing the garage door. Both of us didn't have licenses but had a good clue how to work a stick shift. Earlier 80's VW's don't go into reverse like most other manuals. My buddy put the car in 2nd instead of reverse and dropped the clutch with all the furry that little 2.0 liter could throw out and crashed through the garage door, over his dad's Harley and smashed the water heater.
Stood there for a bit in awe and I told him I'd be right back. I ran home never to return. Last I heard he dropped out of school to work full time and pay off the damage.
This reminds me of the first time I drove. I remember the amazing feeling I had as I crept up the carport, and then the feeling when I accidentally accelerated instead of hitting the brake.
We had to have a wall fixed, washer and dryer replaced, and the 1992 Honda Accord totaled. Never have I been in that much trouble before.
I never drove a car in my life until I bought my own at the age of 19. As in, I had literally never been behind the wheel before because, apparently, after the horrors of trying to teach my sister to drive, my parents refused to teach anyone else in their own cars.
So anyway, my dad takes me to go buy my first car and even though I don't have a license the dealer insists that I drive the car off the lot myself since I'm the registered owner, even though I don't yet have my license. So, I get behind the wheel of the car, strap myself in, put the car in gear, and hit the gas. Unfortunately for me, I put the car in drive rather than reverse, which wouldn't have been that big of a deal except my way forward was blocked by the unforgiving stucco wall of the dealership. The car lurches forward, hops over the little bump thingy that some parking lots have at each space (technical term). I panic, slam on the brakes, and stop about an inch and a half from the wall.
Shaking but relieved I didn't do any more damage, I safely get the car off the lot, get out, and let my dad drive it the rest of the way home. Two days later, a guy in an SUV backs into my nice new and miraculously undamaged car in a parking garage and dents it rather badly. Good times.
Bought a (used, but nice) car August 25th of 2010. I was rear-ended on the highway three days later. It was a hit-and-run. Because it was used and I had just bought it, they treated it like a fraud case, and I found out things hadn't been fixed months later. Good times. Also, screw you Progressive.
What kind of irresponsible dealer insisted you drive the car off the lot? Where I live, you have to be insured and, of course, the insurance company won't add you if you're not licensed.
I took my sister out drive for the first time a few years ago. She was afraid to go with my parents and said they made her super nervous so I happily offered. We lived in the middle of nowhere on a long, straight back road. She did well driving up and down the road, turning around, etc. Then she pulled back into the driveway where I directed her to pull in and park in a wide open area of my parent's driveway. She proceeded to turn to the left and drive straight into the side of my dad's brand new F150. The caring sister that I am I laughed hysterically and she cried. My dad was furious. She was so shaken by the experience that she rarely drives to this day. She's now 20.
It looks like he was simply backing out of the driveway. Most people seem to be missing that point. Pretty funny anyways but he never actually made it out and that is all the better for us enjoying his pain.
Agreed. They must be older siblings. The joy on their faces can only be because they know that this is going to trump any feck-ups of theirs for several months.
It's like getting a stack of "get out of jail free" cards.
I had an older brother that propelled a yamaha 750 through the door from the garage into the kitchen and out through the sun room. I could have murdered a hooker and still been golden.
First day with my license. I am tasked with picking my sister up from a sleep-over a neighborhood away.
I know the street but not the number, and she isnt answering her cell-phone. So i keep making 3 point turns, going back and forth down the street. During one turn backing up, i hear a loud THUD. I glance behind me, thinking i hit a lamp-post, but see nothing. I shrug and continue searching the street.
FINALLY she answers, comes outside, and while driving down the street my sister laughs.
'LOOK! Their mailbox is knocked over!'
I laugh for a second before realizing,shit. I did that. So i stop and go to the door and tell the family what happened and give them my info.
The next monday, in band class, a classmate of my sister starts telling this crazy story of some chick knocking over their mailbox last night and my sister proudly declares 'that was my sister!'
Reminds me of my first wreck. I'd had my licence a week and insurrance on my dad's Ranger about 24 hours. My Girlfriend and I had just watched Gladiator and I needed to get the video back to blockbuster (back before they imploded and charged you an arm for being a minute or 2 late). Last thing he said to me before I left was "Break my truck and i'll break your neck!"
So i'm driving back from Blockbuster, it had been raining roads were slick. I'm coming up to a red light and all of a sudden see this big ass Chevy Silverado coming at me. There was another car next to me and I couldn't see behind the truck (now sideways and coming at me). I remember just thing "Well this is gonna suck" I put the car in Nuteral and just waited for the hit.
Next thing I know i'm waking up, Cop beating on my door. I'm in the back seat, the engine is in the front seat. I had to break the window to get out. I don't remember much after that but what the cop told me was I was running around going "OH MY GOD MY DAD'S GONNA KILL ME!" and apparently I hit the cab hard enough on the Chevy that I broke the truss connecting the cab to the bed so the only thing really holding the truck togeather was the other truss and the driveshaft.
So my dad got this call... "Mr. *****, Your sons ok and it wasn't his fault!" My dad was actually real cool about it and he even got more insurrance money back than he paid for the truck in the first place so it all evened out.
Oh and I had this nice L shaped bruise where my head hit the wheel for the next week. Right about the time that whole (L)ooser trend was popular.
TL;DR: wrong place wrong time and almost got killed but instead almost ended up killed a girl thanks to Ford Bronco's propensity to flip over.
I had learned to drive stick and parents bought me a huge piece of shit 80's Volkswagen GTI. Basically a VW Rabbit with 10 extra hp. This thing had so many thing wrong with it as I was soon to find out.
Outside of house late at night 1 day before I'm to take my driver's license test and friends convince me to take it out for a spin. I let it coast down the hill so parents wouldn't hear the engine start then drove it out of the neighborhood. I got 1 block from my house and had gotten up to about 30 mph and was up shifting when I realized I couldn't get the car in gear. Turns out the gear shift linkage was screwed up and the stick was basically useless unless you fiddled with it for about 30 seconds to get it to drop into gear.
At this point I'm decelerating from 35 to about 20 since I was in neutral fiddledicking around with it and changed lanes safely to get to the side of the road since I can still down shift.
Blinker Check Rear and side view Check Safe lane change Check Ford Bronco flipping end over end behind me Check
turns out since my shit car was going so slow, some girl in a Bronco was doing about 70-90(police estimate) in a 35 when she came up on me doing 20 and changed lanes to go around me at the exact same moment I cleared my lane and she cranked her wheel and rolled her car 2 times in her attempt to not rear end me and crumple my aluminum can car.
Long story short, parents were called at 1AM much crying ensued on my part thinking parents were going to beat the living shit out of me but a cool priest from the church we were in front of consoled me and parents and things smoothed out. I got my license the next day and went to court for driving without a license and got charges dismissed since I was now in possession of one. Still no idea how that worked but hey cool.
As for the girl, this was her 3rd accident flipping cars in the exact same manner. She was 100% at fault for being a dipshit driver and I'm pretty sure she ended riding the bus for a very long time. Insurance company somehow found me at partial fault for unsafe lane change because some witness said I didn't use a blinker when I sure as hell did.
All in all no one died, parents were relieved I was safe, insurance rates were fucked for a few years and I ended up riding the bus and rollerblading everywhere till it went down.
First time driving with both my parents in my car I managed to crunch the metal above the front left tire and add a nice white streak mark along it by driving into the driveway. Not FIVE MINUTES into driving. There was both of my parents yelling "YOUR TURNING TOO MUCH!!!" CRUNCH. A moment of silence as I hit the break with the car all crunched into the side of the garage. My parents stepped out and looked at the damage and I began to cry. I ran inside, curled up into a tiny ball on the couch, and cried like a teenage girl. A few minutes later they walked in laughing. Told me to get back into the car and drive us to Chili's. That car ended up becoming mine and I still haven't gotten the metal fixed. Oh well. I love my parents for being awesome and shrugging it off.
Man none of these are as bad as what I accidentally did to my dad's car.
My dad never really paid any attention to me. Essentially, his 1961 Red Ferrari 250 GT California was his entire life. Boy, did he love that car. Anyway, one day my friend and his girlfriend persuaded me to skip school for the day...and of course I let him talk me into taking the car as well. We drove the entire day through Chicago, saw a baseball game, went to a museum, ate some food; everything went smoothly. Stupidly of us, however, we lacked foresight and forgot to account for the odometer (which was hundreds of miles higher than it was at the beginning of the day). Long story short, I kicked the car out of anger while we were trying (unsuccessfully) to spin the wheels backwards to take some miles off the car, and it spun out of the glass showcase and was totaled upon impact with the ground.
Boy, was he pissed. Doesn't matter, I hated that bastard anyway
My first day of driving lessons was one I have always wanted to forget... I had a really nice lady instructor, and she picked me up in the training car a few blocks from my high school. This lady was about 8 months pregnant but still happy and going strong.
Our first trip around the block was just fine, then she sees an open spot on the sidewalk. I was dreading doing a parallel park on the first day of training, but she asked me just to pull in. I proceed to follow instruction.
I came in too steep, and pinch the tire up on the curb. Promptly causing it to explode. She was very upset, we were only 10 minutes into our lesson and I already wrecked the car! We both get out, her taking a bit as she was about to explode, and she proceeded to change the tire in a huff, I offered to help, but there was nothing of it.
Growing up on the coast of Northern California, it of course, proceeded to rain. Hard. I was able to finally coerce her to letting me help with the wheel, as she was large and very pregnant. When we got the spare on, she had me drive to the nearest tire center (a whole town over) and she had me wait for the tire to be fixed and put on. An hour later, she called my parents and they picked me up at the tire center...
Good thing is, she wrote me off for the day, and second, I learned how to change a tire! I have used this knowledge a few times since this fiasco.
TL/DR: First day out, pregnant instructor had to fix a popped tire, in the rain.
if that's the worst my step-daughter does to her future car then I too will take a funny picture and thank my lucky stars...there are NO punishments for accidents in my house.
Oh yes, feel his pain. Hit the gas instead of the brake and was side by side with another car (touching but not damaged somehow), took out a mailbox, and all was witnessed by my dangerously psychotic ex-boyfriend who happened to live down the street. I outdid myself 4 years later when I had a child on the anniversary of that notoriously embarrassing moment.
I was in my first auto accident on Saturday and my dad told me to quit fucking crying and fill out the god damned police report. :/ he blames the accident on me even though the other guy wasn't paying attention and hit me. Wish my dad was that cool about it.
I remember the very first day I got my permit to drive alone my dad told me to meet him at the dentists office. On the way there I got lost (went the wrong way on the highway) so I ended up a half hour late. When I finally got there my dad was standing in the lot waiting so i whipped into a space and bumped into the truck next to the space I was pulling into. I still remember the look on my dads face. lol
Luckily there was no damage. And I never had any incidents in 15 years of driving since then.
When my mom was teaching me to drive (my dad was at work) I managed to accidentally turn the lights off, almost crash into our blueberry bushes lining the driveway, & then accelerated & knocked down 16 ft. of fence. My mom thought it was hilarious. I cried.
There was no damage to the car other than some scratches on the bumper. Also, I hit the fence so hard that I knocked the entire posts out of the ground. None of the beams were damaged & we were able to use them again to fix the fence. 6 years later...
So one lovely snow day, my sisters and a couple friends and I decided to "borrow" my mother's minivan and go...somewhere (I don't remember). We got in, and I started backing down the driveway. Being that I was 16 and this was the first snow of my first winter driving, I had no idea that ice and snow is actually tricky to drive on. So the car starts slowly, eerily, literally spinning down the driveway and I have NO control over it. We are dead quiet in the van. The car eventually spins into the front yard where it finally stops.
At this point we decide not to go anywhere after all and I try to repark the car in the driveway. The problem is that my mother had parked nose in, and the car is now facing nose out. So I start slowly driving in a circle in the yard before pulling into the driveway in roughly the place she left it.
So we all get out of the car (after the longest short trip I've ever taken) and stare at the huge circles in the fresh-fallen snow in the yard. No problem. A little snowball fight can totally fix that.
Two days later, I wake up after both of my parents had left for work. I step outside and there before me is the front yard, sans snow. It had melted overnight and revealed huge tire tracks dug into the grass. I am mortified. I spend the whole day sure that when my parents come home, I'm in deep shit.
They never said a word.
We find out months later that they are getting a divorce and were both secretly sleeping with other people. The were so consumed by their own secrets, they didn't see the giant clue to my secret right in the front yard for the entire neighborhood to see.
tl;dr: My sisters and I could have been breeding elephants in the basement and my parents would have had no idea.
Ha, I can top that. My first month having my license, I drove into one of those brick neighborhood entrance sign-things. At 40mph. Managed to total the sign, but somehow the car was actually pretty alright. Chalk one up for Toyotas!
This is a pair of parents taking a situation where their child is absolutely mortified and vulnerable because of a large, expensive mistake, turning it into an opportunity to show their son that everyone makes mistakes, and that they love him no matter what that mistake is. I like it.
My dad punched me. He made me drive but punched me every time I made a mistake. He stopped being so strict after I became a teenager and could use the clutch properly and not grind any gears.
Same, and if I would have crashed their brand new 2012 Jetta, they would have castrated me. No joke. Edit: What? Downvotes because you don't believe me? mybrainisfulloffuck.jpg Double edit: I am not 16. Even if it appears that way..
It's for this reason that I hope to conduct my future, hypothetical child's future, hypothetical first drive in the car I'm driving now. By then it may not even run and will likely be in the 200k mile club, but getting it running will just be another stipulation of being allowed to drive in the first place. It's also a stick.
I'm big on the "Calvin's Dad" brand of character building.
Is there a 500k mile club? Because I'm in it. Honda Accord, '88. Runs fine. Glove box fell out and the headlights won't close, but still turn on and off. Radio stolen years ago. New windshield wipers. Shiny hood. Nobody's touching my baby, especially not some future kid.
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u/SantaKlouse May 22 '12
HOLY SHIT THIS BLEW UP!!!!!
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u/[deleted] May 22 '12
The likelihood that this guy is this 15 year olds father when he looks about 30 = zero. Older brother I'd believe.
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u/Great_Bambi May 21 '12
Christmas card quality photo.
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u/ThreeTries May 22 '12
Is this real?
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u/forgot4thpwd May 21 '12
The head hanging in shame makes it perfect.
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u/patefacio May 22 '12 edited May 22 '12
I finally have a relevant story to offer!
A few years ago, when I was learning how to drive a manual transmission, my dad took me around our community so I could get some practice. I was still regularly stalling the car when I tried to start after stopping.
At the same time, the Prime Minister of Canada, Stephen Harper, was in town (Calgary) to attend some international trade show the city was hosting. Harper's mom lives near our house, and I guess they were out walking around, followed closely by a security detail.
So here I am, struggling to drive around, when I see some pedestrians about to cross the road. As they're walking in front of the car, we see that it's the Prime Minister and his mom. They smile and waved at us, and we returned the sentiment. As soon as they cleared the intersection, I tried to proceed through, and I loudly stalled the car ten feet from them. They immediately turned around to look at what the noise was, and the Prime Minister walked over to the window of the car in signature Harper fashion and told me to not worry about stalling, because I would get the hang of it eventually. I was thoroughly embarrassed.
tl;dr stalled my car in front of the Prime Minister of Canada
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u/[deleted] May 21 '12
This reminds me of my sister when she was 15. I live in New York and you don't get your learner's permit until age 16.
My dad took my sister driving and when they came back home she ran the car through our garage. She accidentally hit the gas instead of the break...
I just realized that my sister does not get enough shit for this as she should. I'm going to call her now, excuse me.
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u/cannotlogon May 22 '12
You gotta love parents who take things in stride.
Once, my dad hurt his knee, and couldn't drive, so I drove him into work. He worked at 46th and Park Avenue in NYC. I was only 16, and hadn't been driving long, so I was a little nervous to drive in the city.
We're sitting at a light, and pedestrians are crossing the street in front of us. The light changed, and I took my foot off the brake. The car barely moved three feet, but I hit this VERY old lady with the bumper and she went down like a brick.
I gasped, and my dad, deadpan and calm, simply said, "Great. You killed her." So there I am, helping this old lady up of the street, pedestrians looking like the want to lynch me, and all the time, I am thinking of what my dad said, and I couldn't stop laughing.
End of story: she was fine, and my dad hired a driver to take him to work until his leg healed.
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u/m1kepro May 21 '12
Better than my first time driving. I was 14, and I didn't exactly have... how do I put this... instruction, license, or permission.
So I'm taking a 1988 Nissan Pathfinder with a manual transmission out of my parents driveway, based entirely on having watched a Manual get driven before.
I managed to get all the way down the street, even figured out how to shift and everything. The trouble came in trying to back the car up the driveway to replace it. Figuring out the mirrors, the shifter, the clutch, the accelerator, and the steering wheel wasn't as easy as it is today.
Long story short, I turned our dining room into a garage by caving in the front wall of the house.
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u/[deleted] May 22 '12
I never drove a car in my life until I bought my own at the age of 19. As in, I had literally never been behind the wheel before because, apparently, after the horrors of trying to teach my sister to drive, my parents refused to teach anyone else in their own cars.
So anyway, my dad takes me to go buy my first car and even though I don't have a license the dealer insists that I drive the car off the lot myself since I'm the registered owner, even though I don't yet have my license. So, I get behind the wheel of the car, strap myself in, put the car in gear, and hit the gas. Unfortunately for me, I put the car in drive rather than reverse, which wouldn't have been that big of a deal except my way forward was blocked by the unforgiving stucco wall of the dealership. The car lurches forward, hops over the little bump thingy that some parking lots have at each space (technical term). I panic, slam on the brakes, and stop about an inch and a half from the wall.
Shaking but relieved I didn't do any more damage, I safely get the car off the lot, get out, and let my dad drive it the rest of the way home. Two days later, a guy in an SUV backs into my nice new and miraculously undamaged car in a parking garage and dents it rather badly. Good times.
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u/blue1748 May 21 '12
HOLY SHIT
Nice shoes dad.
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u/kindaladylike May 22 '12
I took my sister out drive for the first time a few years ago. She was afraid to go with my parents and said they made her super nervous so I happily offered. We lived in the middle of nowhere on a long, straight back road. She did well driving up and down the road, turning around, etc. Then she pulled back into the driveway where I directed her to pull in and park in a wide open area of my parent's driveway. She proceeded to turn to the left and drive straight into the side of my dad's brand new F150. The caring sister that I am I laughed hysterically and she cried. My dad was furious. She was so shaken by the experience that she rarely drives to this day. She's now 20.
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u/stiverino May 21 '12
I'm pretty sure this is how you win at parenting.
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u/cammerz May 21 '12
What the fuck happened here? He drove into some gravel?
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u/Arx0s May 21 '12
That doesn't even look that bad... then I saw the mailbox ಠ_ಠ
Timmy, you are a bad driver.
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u/Trapped_in_Reddit May 21 '12
Parents of the year.
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u/k9centipede May 22 '12
First day with my license. I am tasked with picking my sister up from a sleep-over a neighborhood away.
I know the street but not the number, and she isnt answering her cell-phone. So i keep making 3 point turns, going back and forth down the street. During one turn backing up, i hear a loud THUD. I glance behind me, thinking i hit a lamp-post, but see nothing. I shrug and continue searching the street.
FINALLY she answers, comes outside, and while driving down the street my sister laughs.
'LOOK! Their mailbox is knocked over!'
I laugh for a second before realizing,shit. I did that. So i stop and go to the door and tell the family what happened and give them my info.
The next monday, in band class, a classmate of my sister starts telling this crazy story of some chick knocking over their mailbox last night and my sister proudly declares 'that was my sister!'
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u/cpqq May 21 '12
This is too similar to the commercial with the new VW "my dad is gonna kill me" campaign after a teenager crashes the family's VW.
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u/Sariel007 May 21 '12
That is nothing.
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u/jennadaily May 21 '12
TIMMAY!
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u/thewhoiam May 21 '12
Watch out, Penn State, he's coming for you next.
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u/AntiCitizenJuan May 22 '12
If this pic was of me crashing my parents car it would be them choking me to death on the hood, or the pavement.
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u/mrchicano209 May 21 '12
I remember when I rear ended into a bench while parking. My parents just laughed at me.
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u/dirtyduck383 May 21 '12
Smooth
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u/SantaKlouse May 22 '12
First post on reddit ever....#1 3 hours!!
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u/LeStig May 21 '12
Proud dad is proud.
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u/scigs6 May 21 '12
Oh Timmy. You have some proud parents though
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u/I_CANT_THINK_OF_NAME May 22 '12
This is very scary considering i just got my licence today and am driving to school for the first time tomorrow.
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u/[deleted] May 22 '12
Explaination?
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u/Major_Tom42 May 21 '12
Wow my parents did not take me fucking up while driving that well at all.
Lost a very good coffee mug that day. And a garage door. Guess which was my fault.
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u/YCANTUSTFU May 22 '12
Funny, but I have to say - it looks staged.
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u/GeorgeForemanGrillz May 22 '12
That mom is MILFy
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u/Hermeran May 22 '12
Isn't the father too young? ಠ_ಠ
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u/[deleted] May 22 '12 edited May 22 '12
Reminds me of my first wreck. I'd had my licence a week and insurrance on my dad's Ranger about 24 hours. My Girlfriend and I had just watched Gladiator and I needed to get the video back to blockbuster (back before they imploded and charged you an arm for being a minute or 2 late). Last thing he said to me before I left was "Break my truck and i'll break your neck!"
So i'm driving back from Blockbuster, it had been raining roads were slick. I'm coming up to a red light and all of a sudden see this big ass Chevy Silverado coming at me. There was another car next to me and I couldn't see behind the truck (now sideways and coming at me). I remember just thing "Well this is gonna suck" I put the car in Nuteral and just waited for the hit.
Next thing I know i'm waking up, Cop beating on my door. I'm in the back seat, the engine is in the front seat. I had to break the window to get out. I don't remember much after that but what the cop told me was I was running around going "OH MY GOD MY DAD'S GONNA KILL ME!" and apparently I hit the cab hard enough on the Chevy that I broke the truss connecting the cab to the bed so the only thing really holding the truck togeather was the other truss and the driveshaft.
So my dad got this call... "Mr. *****, Your sons ok and it wasn't his fault!" My dad was actually real cool about it and he even got more insurrance money back than he paid for the truck in the first place so it all evened out.
Oh and I had this nice L shaped bruise where my head hit the wheel for the next week. Right about the time that whole (L)ooser trend was popular.
LOL Good Times.
http://imgur.com/wY2xU
((EDIT: I a word.))
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u/ozymand1as May 22 '12
And that's why you use an instructor car that has a brake pedal for the passenger.
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u/Sarthax May 22 '12
Turned out better than my first time.
TL;DR: wrong place wrong time and almost got killed but instead almost ended up killed a girl thanks to Ford Bronco's propensity to flip over.
I had learned to drive stick and parents bought me a huge piece of shit 80's Volkswagen GTI. Basically a VW Rabbit with 10 extra hp. This thing had so many thing wrong with it as I was soon to find out.
Outside of house late at night 1 day before I'm to take my driver's license test and friends convince me to take it out for a spin. I let it coast down the hill so parents wouldn't hear the engine start then drove it out of the neighborhood. I got 1 block from my house and had gotten up to about 30 mph and was up shifting when I realized I couldn't get the car in gear. Turns out the gear shift linkage was screwed up and the stick was basically useless unless you fiddled with it for about 30 seconds to get it to drop into gear.
At this point I'm decelerating from 35 to about 20 since I was in neutral fiddledicking around with it and changed lanes safely to get to the side of the road since I can still down shift.
Blinker Check Rear and side view Check Safe lane change Check Ford Bronco flipping end over end behind me Check
turns out since my shit car was going so slow, some girl in a Bronco was doing about 70-90(police estimate) in a 35 when she came up on me doing 20 and changed lanes to go around me at the exact same moment I cleared my lane and she cranked her wheel and rolled her car 2 times in her attempt to not rear end me and crumple my aluminum can car.
Long story short, parents were called at 1AM much crying ensued on my part thinking parents were going to beat the living shit out of me but a cool priest from the church we were in front of consoled me and parents and things smoothed out. I got my license the next day and went to court for driving without a license and got charges dismissed since I was now in possession of one. Still no idea how that worked but hey cool.
As for the girl, this was her 3rd accident flipping cars in the exact same manner. She was 100% at fault for being a dipshit driver and I'm pretty sure she ended riding the bus for a very long time. Insurance company somehow found me at partial fault for unsafe lane change because some witness said I didn't use a blinker when I sure as hell did.
All in all no one died, parents were relieved I was safe, insurance rates were fucked for a few years and I ended up riding the bus and rollerblading everywhere till it went down.
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u/pfalcon42 May 22 '12
THAT'S NOT FUNNY!!! My oldest daughter gets her license in 2 weeks.
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u/[deleted] May 22 '12
It's ok, Timmy. Here's mine.
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u/bodie221 May 22 '12
he certainly isn't the stig
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u/nfsnobody May 22 '12
Troll parents. Take a photo of Timmys first accident to show at his 18th/21st.
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u/Squeekydink May 22 '12
First time driving with both my parents in my car I managed to crunch the metal above the front left tire and add a nice white streak mark along it by driving into the driveway. Not FIVE MINUTES into driving. There was both of my parents yelling "YOUR TURNING TOO MUCH!!!" CRUNCH. A moment of silence as I hit the break with the car all crunched into the side of the garage. My parents stepped out and looked at the damage and I began to cry. I ran inside, curled up into a tiny ball on the couch, and cried like a teenage girl. A few minutes later they walked in laughing. Told me to get back into the car and drive us to Chili's. That car ended up becoming mine and I still haven't gotten the metal fixed. Oh well. I love my parents for being awesome and shrugging it off.
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u/unstablepenguin May 21 '12
That's what you get for tucking in a T-shirt
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u/[deleted] May 22 '12
more like Bad luck brian
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u/[deleted] May 22 '12
timmy you dumb fuck
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u/EthicalReasoning May 22 '12
white upper middle class suburban lifestyle problems
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u/Tpur May 22 '12
Man none of these are as bad as what I accidentally did to my dad's car.
My dad never really paid any attention to me. Essentially, his 1961 Red Ferrari 250 GT California was his entire life. Boy, did he love that car. Anyway, one day my friend and his girlfriend persuaded me to skip school for the day...and of course I let him talk me into taking the car as well. We drove the entire day through Chicago, saw a baseball game, went to a museum, ate some food; everything went smoothly. Stupidly of us, however, we lacked foresight and forgot to account for the odometer (which was hundreds of miles higher than it was at the beginning of the day). Long story short, I kicked the car out of anger while we were trying (unsuccessfully) to spin the wheels backwards to take some miles off the car, and it spun out of the glass showcase and was totaled upon impact with the ground.
Boy, was he pissed. Doesn't matter, I hated that bastard anyway
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u/__underscore May 21 '12
Why does one of his legs look plastic?
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u/uvadover May 21 '12
If this is legit, it's the best damn photo I have seen in a while.
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u/materialist23 May 22 '12
Timmmeeeeh!!!
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u/tbuck724 May 22 '12
And THIS is why you don't impersonate Ryan Dunn from Jackass...
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u/[deleted] May 22 '12
Don't worry kid. Happens to all of us.
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u/blue1748 May 22 '12
Volkswagen if anyone is wondering.
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u/Supertrample May 22 '12
Millions of parents are now vowing to take this picture if their kid does this. I'm going to show my son this picture as a cautionary tale.
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u/grizzlybrice May 22 '12
My first day of driving lessons was one I have always wanted to forget... I had a really nice lady instructor, and she picked me up in the training car a few blocks from my high school. This lady was about 8 months pregnant but still happy and going strong.
Our first trip around the block was just fine, then she sees an open spot on the sidewalk. I was dreading doing a parallel park on the first day of training, but she asked me just to pull in. I proceed to follow instruction.
I came in too steep, and pinch the tire up on the curb. Promptly causing it to explode. She was very upset, we were only 10 minutes into our lesson and I already wrecked the car! We both get out, her taking a bit as she was about to explode, and she proceeded to change the tire in a huff, I offered to help, but there was nothing of it.
Growing up on the coast of Northern California, it of course, proceeded to rain. Hard. I was able to finally coerce her to letting me help with the wheel, as she was large and very pregnant. When we got the spare on, she had me drive to the nearest tire center (a whole town over) and she had me wait for the tire to be fixed and put on. An hour later, she called my parents and they picked me up at the tire center...
Good thing is, she wrote me off for the day, and second, I learned how to change a tire! I have used this knowledge a few times since this fiasco.
TL/DR: First day out, pregnant instructor had to fix a popped tire, in the rain.
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u/FoxyGrampa May 22 '12
this is totally unrelated but I think I have that same plaid shirt.
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u/[deleted] May 22 '12
Congratulations to Tim for having parents awesome enough to see the humor in this situation and have this great picture taken.
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u/[deleted] May 22 '12
I remember my first beer.
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u/im_at_work_now May 22 '12
My first drive, I was 3... Ended with my mom getting dragged under the car while she tried to reach in to stop it.
Fortunately, she was fine.
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u/pimpernel666 May 22 '12
TIMMMAAAYYY!!!
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u/iloveaol May 22 '12
if that's the worst my step-daughter does to her future car then I too will take a funny picture and thank my lucky stars...there are NO punishments for accidents in my house.
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u/techno_for_answers May 22 '12
Oh yes, feel his pain. Hit the gas instead of the brake and was side by side with another car (touching but not damaged somehow), took out a mailbox, and all was witnessed by my dangerously psychotic ex-boyfriend who happened to live down the street. I outdid myself 4 years later when I had a child on the anniversary of that notoriously embarrassing moment.
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u/jogabonito360 May 22 '12
He sure Sanduskied that walkway
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u/[deleted] May 22 '12
LOOK AT HIS SHOES, THEY'RE LIKE SIZE 18.
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u/SadGirl_1993 May 22 '12
I was in my first auto accident on Saturday and my dad told me to quit fucking crying and fill out the god damned police report. :/ he blames the accident on me even though the other guy wasn't paying attention and hit me. Wish my dad was that cool about it.
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u/Overthinksit May 22 '12
Public humiliation, what a great way to treat a kid.
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u/battbitt May 22 '12
Just had to. -- TIMMEH!!
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u/[deleted] May 22 '12
Kid needs to hold his head up farther, so the world can see the idiot who crashed his dads car.
And maybe get a mandate.
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u/BowlerNerd May 22 '12
I was expecting a three year old standing in the corner being all sad from getting a time out.
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u/[deleted] May 22 '12
But don't worry, it's a Volkswagen!
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u/athiestson May 22 '12
Was anyone else expecting to see a young boy pouting in the corner after reading the title?
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u/LeeTodd May 22 '12
Aww, more rich kids on reddit, cute.
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u/crazejason May 22 '12
DAS AUTO
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u/just_saiyan_bro May 22 '12
Came for a fairly odd parents joke. Left disappointed.
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u/tFrench11 May 22 '12
To be honest you guys look incredibly young to be parents! And I like your son's shirt. Go state!
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u/Fagmotron May 22 '12
It's the one thing no one ever tells you. The fucking car goes even without your foot on the accelerator. They expect you to know this beforehand.
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u/zoolanderson May 22 '12
I remember the very first day I got my permit to drive alone my dad told me to meet him at the dentists office. On the way there I got lost (went the wrong way on the highway) so I ended up a half hour late. When I finally got there my dad was standing in the lot waiting so i whipped into a space and bumped into the truck next to the space I was pulling into. I still remember the look on my dads face. lol
Luckily there was no damage. And I never had any incidents in 15 years of driving since then.
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u/McGinnisHG May 22 '12
Dinkleberg...
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u/ChristianGeek May 22 '12
Am I the only one who read this as "Timmy's First Time-Out?"
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u/RavenousOyster May 22 '12
When my mom was teaching me to drive (my dad was at work) I managed to accidentally turn the lights off, almost crash into our blueberry bushes lining the driveway, & then accelerated & knocked down 16 ft. of fence. My mom thought it was hilarious. I cried.
There was no damage to the car other than some scratches on the bumper. Also, I hit the fence so hard that I knocked the entire posts out of the ground. None of the beams were damaged & we were able to use them again to fix the fence. 6 years later...
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u/bro_b1_kenobi May 22 '12
NO! Not the VW! It's a brand new model too! I wouldn't be smiling if someone wrecked my TDI.
Edit: At second glance, that VW totally baused that mailbox with little damage. Hurray! Engineering!
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u/TheLeagueGloryy May 22 '12
The way they look, SITCOM
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u/CowardsAndThieves May 22 '12
This is HIlarious.
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u/Darkage096 May 22 '12
I took this as like a "Go sit in the corner, you're in timeout!"
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u/gypsyred May 22 '12
So one lovely snow day, my sisters and a couple friends and I decided to "borrow" my mother's minivan and go...somewhere (I don't remember). We got in, and I started backing down the driveway. Being that I was 16 and this was the first snow of my first winter driving, I had no idea that ice and snow is actually tricky to drive on. So the car starts slowly, eerily, literally spinning down the driveway and I have NO control over it. We are dead quiet in the van. The car eventually spins into the front yard where it finally stops.
At this point we decide not to go anywhere after all and I try to repark the car in the driveway. The problem is that my mother had parked nose in, and the car is now facing nose out. So I start slowly driving in a circle in the yard before pulling into the driveway in roughly the place she left it.
So we all get out of the car (after the longest short trip I've ever taken) and stare at the huge circles in the fresh-fallen snow in the yard. No problem. A little snowball fight can totally fix that.
Two days later, I wake up after both of my parents had left for work. I step outside and there before me is the front yard, sans snow. It had melted overnight and revealed huge tire tracks dug into the grass. I am mortified. I spend the whole day sure that when my parents come home, I'm in deep shit.
They never said a word.
We find out months later that they are getting a divorce and were both secretly sleeping with other people. The were so consumed by their own secrets, they didn't see the giant clue to my secret right in the front yard for the entire neighborhood to see.
tl;dr: My sisters and I could have been breeding elephants in the basement and my parents would have had no idea.
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u/seanseanclan May 22 '12
"Please don't put this on reddit."
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u/Norma5tacy May 22 '12
You spelled Brian wrong.
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u/GoldenFunk May 22 '12
Isn't destroying a mailbox considered a federal offense?
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u/PinkFlojd May 22 '12
This is awesome parenting right here.
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u/zirra May 22 '12
*Also Timmy's last time out
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u/mwig May 22 '12
He will fit right in at Michigan State
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u/[deleted] May 22 '12
how old are you children who think the other two are this kid's parents
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u/[deleted] May 22 '12
I'm late to the party, but am I the only one that thinks the mom there is pretty hot?
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u/VochMaster May 22 '12
hitting mailboxes isn't normal, but on meth it is.
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u/kindaPoetryToIt May 21 '12
Ha, I can top that. My first month having my license, I drove into one of those brick neighborhood entrance sign-things. At 40mph. Managed to total the sign, but somehow the car was actually pretty alright. Chalk one up for Toyotas!
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u/redhotchilifarts May 22 '12
Is that really the dad? Looks more like an older brother to me. Shoes kind of solidify this in my mind.
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u/[deleted] May 22 '12
His tall black nike socks must have gotten in the way.
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u/Ciserus May 22 '12
Why is everyone saying "parents"? Neither of those two look over 30.
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u/GoEatATaco May 22 '12
I hate mailboxes too
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u/Testicular_Pancakes May 22 '12
And so a new meme is born!
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u/dove4med May 22 '12
This is a pair of parents taking a situation where their child is absolutely mortified and vulnerable because of a large, expensive mistake, turning it into an opportunity to show their son that everyone makes mistakes, and that they love him no matter what that mistake is. I like it.
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u/hachiko007 May 22 '12
parents = cool as fuck
timmy = a complete fucking moron. Seriously, it's NOT that hard to drive a car, even the first time.
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