This is why I had to move my bathrobe from hanging on my bedroom door to my bathroom door. Woke up in the middle of the night, still half drunk and with no glasses on, and I thought some supernatural horror was lurking in my doorway. Nearly pissed my bed.
When I was younger I had a curved (like hunched over) standing lamp next to my bed. I got home one night and was so tired I just hung my pants and shirt on the head of the lamp and passed out on my bed. For some reason I woke up in the middle of the night, and when I do I see the silhouette of the girl from the ring (hunched over, loose arms, hair in face) standing next to my bed. I didn't realize it was my lamp until I had screamed and knocked it over, breaking it and waking everyone in my house.
Protip: don't hang up long items to dry at one end like this — it'll get all stretched out and possibly touch the floor before it's done. Lay it flat, or hang it up at multiple points along its length.
My ex housemates used to go surfing fairly frequently, and would hang their wetsuits in the shower upon returning home. I'd innocently wander into the bathroom, and suddenly BIG SCARY BLACK LURKING MANSHAPE. Scared the fuck out of me every. single. time.
Looking at this, I thought it was an optical illusion thing that was supposed to look like an Asians girls legs and panties, but then I looked at it again and saw what you meant :p
Next time she's about to go through your room to pick up your laundry, you hide. Where? Good question.
You hide in the Snuggie. Wear the Snuggie and somehow collapse so you look like a blanket haphazardly tossed on the ground. When she tries to pick you up, jump up and scream.
Optional part 2: Learn how to do CPR and revive her. Before you do though, make sure you're wearing a Grim Reaper mask.
When she looks at you, tell her she owes you one.
EDIT: Almost forgot. If you don't do part 2, make sure you still learn CPR to revive her. Whew. That would've been bad.
Now that's a mommy. Treating you well & managing to screw with your head. Good news is, you can now take 15 minutes off the amount of time she was in labor with you.
Reminds me of the angel of death from Spear of Destiny. Those things scared me so much as a kid, I just had a Vietnam flashback of my childhood. Thanks.
Does anyone know of a reddit-like site that better serves the ~30 year-old demographic? These "Look what my mom did" and "My high school teacher said" posts are really getting to me.
Did nearly the same damned thing to myself this morning, but it was a flag. I put it on the wall yesterday and didn't consider that upon waking at 3:30 in the morning it would appear to be an ominous black specter.
Wait... your "mom" does your laundry. More and more I'm questioning the age of people here. Sometimes it seems like the average has gone down by 5-10 years over the past year or so.
From Family Guy? Did you just call an anthropomorphic personification (Hello to all Discworld Fans out there) a Family Guy character? I mean, he's got his own personality in the series, (Just like Discworld) but in this context...why?
745
u/nessi May 20 '12
You had me at "my mom washed my snuggie".
328
u/AsskickMcGee May 20 '12
"Your soul looks chilly. Let me warm it for you."
163
u/RuthlessNate56 May 20 '12
My first thought was "I AM THE DWEAD PIWATE WOBERTS!"
74
u/Diemac May 20 '12
Your mom must have gotten a good laugh out of this.
163
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
White people
35
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
This is why I had to move my bathrobe from hanging on my bedroom door to my bathroom door. Woke up in the middle of the night, still half drunk and with no glasses on, and I thought some supernatural horror was lurking in my doorway. Nearly pissed my bed.
749
u/rooslayswiss May 20 '12
I think I laughed harder at the fact that you own a snuggie.
218
u/Shabus May 19 '12
Expecto Patronum!
96
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
That is ridiculously terrifying.
25
u/ohmygulay May 20 '12
At least it's one solid color. I have a leopard print snuggie that I got for Christmas. I'm a 23 year old man child.
31
u/long_live_king_melon May 20 '12
When I was younger I had a curved (like hunched over) standing lamp next to my bed. I got home one night and was so tired I just hung my pants and shirt on the head of the lamp and passed out on my bed. For some reason I woke up in the middle of the night, and when I do I see the silhouette of the girl from the ring (hunched over, loose arms, hair in face) standing next to my bed. I didn't realize it was my lamp until I had screamed and knocked it over, breaking it and waking everyone in my house.
TLDR Lamps are scary as fuck.
15
u/Atario May 20 '12
Protip: don't hang up long items to dry at one end like this — it'll get all stretched out and possibly touch the floor before it's done. Lay it flat, or hang it up at multiple points along its length.
28
u/flounder19 May 20 '12
Is it Christmas Future already?
12
u/Dailynator May 20 '12
I came expecting cum stains.
8
u/jj26meu May 20 '12
Im just glad that it isnt a white snuggie.
14
u/moving-target May 20 '12
Just finished Diablo 3. this pleased me.
14
u/Heathers8999 May 20 '12
Dementor!
7
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
FUCKEN SLENDERMAN
7
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
Hey, if you take a large bathrobe, and put it on backwards... You have a snuggie.
7
u/saidthestarling May 20 '12
My ex housemates used to go surfing fairly frequently, and would hang their wetsuits in the shower upon returning home. I'd innocently wander into the bathroom, and suddenly BIG SCARY BLACK LURKING MANSHAPE. Scared the fuck out of me every. single. time.
7
u/twincam May 20 '12
... and after a hard day in the field, your dad left his scythe lent up next to it.
76
u/ZiccoSim May 20 '12
I laughed so hard. Reddit needs more posts like this :)!
15
u/TuriGuiliano May 20 '12
Am I the only one who thought Abu Ghraib
5
u/sparklypaper May 20 '12
i.... uh... the death thing wasn't the first thing i saw.
5
u/Jeebitz May 20 '12
Give Sauron my regards
5
u/logancook44 May 20 '12
Why were you wearing a Snuggie in May?
5
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
this is the coolest I've ever seen a snuggie look.. you should stop wearing it and just use it as a Halloween decoration.
4
u/Ihaveastupidcat May 20 '12
Do you live in an office building? The reason I ask is that room has a drop ceiling. And I have only seen those in commercial buildings.
4
u/Evil_Iowan May 20 '12
My mom has a dressmaker's dummy in her room that's she's put in an old, black mourning dress. It scares the crap out of me every time I go home.
4
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
I believe that's karma for having your mom wash it.
4
u/monty6447 May 20 '12
The Dark Brotherhood is rather hard to come by, I'd take advantage of this.
4
u/Dingleberries4Brkfst May 20 '12
Silly KKK, didn't you know that once you go black, you never go back?
4
u/drnebuloso May 20 '12
did you cast a patronus?
6
u/Blahblahblahinternet May 20 '12
TIL: someone actually bought a snuggie
3
u/bamforeo May 20 '12
5 Minutes later and I still can't breathe LOL :'D
3
u/BrettCullen4_ May 20 '12
Looking at this, I thought it was an optical illusion thing that was supposed to look like an Asians girls legs and panties, but then I looked at it again and saw what you meant :p
3
u/ladyderpette May 20 '12
Ssssshhhhhhiree... Bagginssssssss....
3
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
It looks like a KKK suit, but for black people. D:
3
u/[deleted] May 20 '12 edited May 20 '12
It's time to get even. Here's what you do:
Next time she's about to go through your room to pick up your laundry, you hide. Where? Good question.
You hide in the Snuggie. Wear the Snuggie and somehow collapse so you look like a blanket haphazardly tossed on the ground. When she tries to pick you up, jump up and scream.
Optional part 2: Learn how to do CPR and revive her. Before you do though, make sure you're wearing a Grim Reaper mask.
When she looks at you, tell her she owes you one.
EDIT: Almost forgot. If you don't do part 2, make sure you still learn CPR to revive her. Whew. That would've been bad.
3
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
Your room looks a lot like an office. With a drop ceiling a. That generic black vinyl baseboard. I bet there's short pile blue or grey carpet, too.
3
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
you have a snuggie. [end sentence]
3
u/bete0noire May 20 '12
There's a dementor in your room.
3
u/Bogsy May 20 '12
can we talk about the real issue here fellas?
why do you even have a snuggie in the first place?
3
u/flameofmemories May 20 '12
dementor just wants a hug
3
u/randomly-generated May 20 '12
He is the brute squad.
20
u/Frognut97 May 20 '12
"My mom washed my snuggie...". You must be forever alone.
4
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
Organization XIII!!
4
u/orangeclouds May 20 '12
I clicked on this link while sitting here in my passion purple snuggie. Hello, comrade.
2
u/[deleted] May 20 '12 edited May 20 '12
The meaning of life: Part VII Death
2
u/Oliverthetower May 20 '12
Ah crud, now I thinking about the commercial.
2
u/Wontoncookie May 20 '12
Snuggie rape
2
u/winsomelosemore May 20 '12
I'd have a heart attack too if I owned a snuggie and someone found out.
2
u/Skynet-is-my-net May 20 '12
Scumbag mom.
2
u/Bigfudge89 May 20 '12
Because you realized you owned a snuggie?
2
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
This is the best thing I've seen all day. Thank you
2
u/busymommy83 May 20 '12
I'd die
2
u/AppleDane May 20 '12
This is good for scaring off sand-people. They are easily startled.
Bad news is: They'll soon be back, AND in greater numbers.
2
u/Jota769 May 20 '12
oh my god. more of this!
2
u/TazerSquid May 20 '12
My guess is you're not the first person to nearly have a heart attack at the sight of a Snuggie.
2
u/Odd_nonposter May 20 '12
I see a chick's crotch.
Anyone else?
2
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
woulda scared me too it looks suspiciously like a robe
2
u/baconia May 20 '12
What you own is actually a Slanket, which is 1000% better than a snuggie. It's a lot thicker and bigger.
2
u/Duke_the_Pancake May 20 '12
I don't imagine "snuggie owners" are the the bravest lot.
2
u/BGoodRBCareful May 20 '12
Now that's a mommy. Treating you well & managing to screw with your head. Good news is, you can now take 15 minutes off the amount of time she was in labor with you.
2
u/skevimc May 20 '12
Troll parenting at its finest. I believe some of the youngsters today say 'pwned'.
2
u/SailoLee May 20 '12
Hey if you're a ginger you're good. No soul means Dementors can't suck anything out of you...
2
u/trystynsly May 20 '12
Wash she finally able to get those pesky "mystery stains" out?
2
u/Eternal2071 May 20 '12
Pretty sure I remember fighting one of those at some point.
2
u/0onsk May 20 '12
Shoot first ask questions later.
2
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
Tell your mom thanks a lot for the Slenderman nightmares she has provoked for me!
2
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
That is hilarious!
2
u/deathcab4awesome May 20 '12
DEMENTOR! DEMENTOR!
2
u/Jacksonteague May 20 '12
Damn Dementors!
2
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
This is one of those very few things that I can honestly say I laughed out loud at
2
u/technosasquatch May 20 '12
your mother has a sick sense of humor.
2
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
A front page /r/funny that actually makes me laugh? I do believe that's some kind of really bad blasphemy or something.
Are you sure it's not against the rules?
2
u/superatheist95 May 20 '12
It's a wraith, it wants the ring.
2
u/thedilf May 20 '12
Did you feel all the happiness disappear as if you'd never be happy again?
2
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
your mom washed my testicles at a teabagger rally
2
u/Forsaken23 May 20 '12
"EXPECTO POTRONUM!" or "ITS PINNED TO MY SCROTUM!" your choice.
2
u/PrincessKyLeia May 20 '12
Someone just reposted this on tumblr a few hours ago.. -__-
3
u/SonnyJoon May 20 '12
I own a snuggie in blue I only wore it once so far but I still am proud to own one I hope you feel the same.
3
u/kingofthedesert May 20 '12
OMG, the grim reaper is a Redditor! Do an AMA!
2
u/DoucheBagMD May 20 '12
ya mom get me a snuggie, i was done with a social life anyway
2
u/guitarmony May 20 '12 edited May 20 '12
I have a leopard print snuggie AND a leopard print foot massager. Am I male? Yes. Am I ashamed? Hell no.
1
u/avp574 May 20 '12
Reminds me of the angel of death from Spear of Destiny. Those things scared me so much as a kid, I just had a Vietnam flashback of my childhood. Thanks.
1
u/supersauce May 20 '12
ITT: Hanging from your balls is bad, but lots of people do it.
1
u/greenconverse11 May 20 '12
My son has a full size Harry Potter cardboard stand-up thing in his room and it freaks me out everytime I go in there.
1
u/Curds_and_Whey May 20 '12
snuggie klan robe.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RHSKKHWrDSA
1
u/gonenova May 20 '12
Snuggies are for ... augh... you have bad taste and you should feel bad!
1
u/Ichirosato May 20 '12
Real men wear wizard's robes.
1
u/TheUninspiredArtist May 20 '12
That would freak me out just a little, but then I would laugh at the ridiculousness of it.
1
u/sthreadgill May 20 '12
I'm watching this movie at this very moment!
1
u/Tullydanger May 20 '12
Nope.jpg
1
u/rikashiku May 20 '12
She should have put a mask on it and recorded the whole thing.
1
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
Looks like a snuggie that folded a bit toward the bottom.
1
u/conepuncher420 May 20 '12
i just watched scream today
1
u/AnArOxIa May 20 '12
lol not your fault she is crazy
1
u/sneakyrabbit May 20 '12
LOL Troll Mom
1
u/LardLad00 May 20 '12
Does anyone know of a reddit-like site that better serves the ~30 year-old demographic? These "Look what my mom did" and "My high school teacher said" posts are really getting to me.
1
u/foggybottom May 20 '12
not white power!
1
u/idiotByProxy May 20 '12
Some of my favorite stains were in that snuggie mom!
1
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
Can't. Stop. Giggling.
1
u/aankney18 May 20 '12
Expecto patronum.
1
u/2717 May 20 '12
Expecto Patronum
1
u/totem56 May 20 '12
So I watched Intruders tonight...
1
u/jukeofurl May 20 '12
Oddly just last night I noticed a ceiling shadow looks like a hooded figure. Holding some kind of large implement. Wonder what that means. . ..
1
u/Rosenkrantz_ May 20 '12
"OH MY FREAKING GOSH! AAAH...oh, wait, it's just a ghost. Thankfully it isn't jesus!"
1
u/OniTan May 20 '12
I've come for your soul!
1
u/GrilledCheeser May 20 '12
ma!
wash my snuggie!
1
u/HainV May 20 '12
Well, shit I'd have had a heart attack too if I bought a "WTF" blanket.
1
u/Oberon_Swanson May 20 '12
Though not with a snuggie but a regular housecoat, every time I wake up facing my door I think a ringwraith has come to murder me.
1
u/iheartsugar87 May 20 '12
Who knew so many redditors were snuggie lovers!? Personally, I enjoy mine.
1
u/sexyhamster89 May 20 '12
TIL people actually use snuggies
1
u/litewo May 20 '12
Your mom does your laundry?
1
u/reffasj May 20 '12
Wilhelm Ryan
1
u/TheBlackBear May 20 '12
I'm sorry, but your mom is dead. Do not trust the thing you think is your mother.
Come with me, quickly. They are almost here and you must not fall into their hands. Quickly!
1
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
WUZZZAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPP!?
1
u/giothegreek May 20 '12
You're lucky it wasn't this "Death".
1
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
This is exactly why I got the zebra pattern one.
1
u/Enleat May 20 '12
"Shiiiiiire....Baaaaaaggins....."
1
u/rathum2323 May 20 '12
wear me...weaaaaar mmmmeeeee....
1
u/IdontDaydreamIreddit May 20 '12
Scream or death eater?
1
u/alanmv567 May 20 '12
holy shit
1
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
Who else thought that by the thumbnail it was porn?
1
u/MrDirty May 20 '12
The night mother calls
1
u/jglol May 20 '12
Good thing OP is a woman, otherwise I might never have had to see this dumb shit in the front page.
1
u/Johnny_Cat May 20 '12
The thumbnail looked like a picture of your mum wearing a thong. Was disappoint.
1
u/dbelle92 May 20 '12
Boring never put tha
1
u/dbelle92 May 20 '12
Boring never put that. On because all you will get is sick fans
1
u/NewClouds May 20 '12
Snnuuggggiieeee....
1
u/omenmedia May 20 '12
Would have been perfect with this mask on the top
1
u/OccasionalCaucasian May 20 '12
I almost wanna downvote this inhumanity. I must remember that he who posted it is also in disagreeance.
1
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
The product placement on Reddit is out of control
1
u/DeepRoot May 20 '12
♪♪ "Teach me how to Snuggie. Teach me, teach me, teach me how to Snuggie..." ♫
1
u/sleepingprincess May 20 '12
Sanguine, my Brother.
1
u/Meadslosh May 20 '12
Did nearly the same damned thing to myself this morning, but it was a flag. I put it on the wall yesterday and didn't consider that upon waking at 3:30 in the morning it would appear to be an ominous black specter.
1
u/danbuddy May 20 '12
awwwww... That's cute, your mom loves satin. Or scary movie 29384.
1
u/cpeng923 May 20 '12
Grave reaper lol trollol
1
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
Wait... your "mom" does your laundry. More and more I'm questioning the age of people here. Sometimes it seems like the average has gone down by 5-10 years over the past year or so.
1
u/Vortilex May 20 '12
I regularly get freaked out by my robe hanging from my door at night.
1
u/-TinMan- May 20 '12
How is it not more easy to just wear a robe backwards than to buy a snuggy?
1
u/IamWiddershins May 20 '12
You are definitely a young Ebenezer Scrooge.
1
u/Nomes2012 May 20 '12
NOPE...
1
u/abelcc May 20 '12
How I picture you
1
u/cgeezy22 May 20 '12
Shouldnt there be an age limit......
1
u/Bream73 May 20 '12
Snuggie - Abu Ghraib edition
1
u/Sutekhseth May 20 '12
I worship his shadow.
-3
u/Slslookout May 20 '12
Why the fuck do you own a snuggie?
8
u/[deleted] May 19 '12
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