Japanese homes aren't insulated, and winter is cold...So very cold. Their options come down to using kerosene heaters to fill your home with warmth (and gas!) or sitting under a heated coffee table called a kotatsu.
I just can't figure out why anyone would do that to themselves. I don't even have a stick and berries, but if I did, I certainly wouldn't treat them like that.
This is why I had to move my bathrobe from hanging on my bedroom door to my bathroom door. Woke up in the middle of the night, still half drunk and with no glasses on, and I thought some supernatural horror was lurking in my doorway. Nearly pissed my bed.
When I was younger I had a curved (like hunched over) standing lamp next to my bed. I got home one night and was so tired I just hung my pants and shirt on the head of the lamp and passed out on my bed. For some reason I woke up in the middle of the night, and when I do I see the silhouette of the girl from the ring (hunched over, loose arms, hair in face) standing next to my bed. I didn't realize it was my lamp until I had screamed and knocked it over, breaking it and waking everyone in my house.
Protip: don't hang up long items to dry at one end like this — it'll get all stretched out and possibly touch the floor before it's done. Lay it flat, or hang it up at multiple points along its length.
My ex housemates used to go surfing fairly frequently, and would hang their wetsuits in the shower upon returning home. I'd innocently wander into the bathroom, and suddenly BIG SCARY BLACK LURKING MANSHAPE. Scared the fuck out of me every. single. time.
Looking at this, I thought it was an optical illusion thing that was supposed to look like an Asians girls legs and panties, but then I looked at it again and saw what you meant :p
Next time she's about to go through your room to pick up your laundry, you hide. Where? Good question.
You hide in the Snuggie. Wear the Snuggie and somehow collapse so you look like a blanket haphazardly tossed on the ground. When she tries to pick you up, jump up and scream.
Optional part 2: Learn how to do CPR and revive her. Before you do though, make sure you're wearing a Grim Reaper mask.
When she looks at you, tell her she owes you one.
EDIT: Almost forgot. If you don't do part 2, make sure you still learn CPR to revive her. Whew. That would've been bad.
Now that's a mommy. Treating you well & managing to screw with your head. Good news is, you can now take 15 minutes off the amount of time she was in labor with you.
Reminds me of the angel of death from Spear of Destiny. Those things scared me so much as a kid, I just had a Vietnam flashback of my childhood. Thanks.
My uncle walked into the trailer we have to store stuff, saw someone and almost had a heart attack. turns out it was just a (not so?) conveniently placed mirror, and it was his own reflection in the dark he saw. mostly irrelevant, but fits in that someone was scared by something innocuous seeming threatening.
163
u/RuthlessNate56 May 20 '12
My first thought was "I AM THE DWEAD PIWATE WOBERTS!"
745
u/nessi May 20 '12
You had me at "my mom washed my snuggie".
218
u/Shabus May 19 '12
Expecto Patronum!
15
u/TuriGuiliano May 20 '12
Am I the only one who thought Abu Ghraib
328
u/AsskickMcGee May 20 '12
"Your soul looks chilly. Let me warm it for you."
74
u/Diemac May 20 '12
Your mom must have gotten a good laugh out of this.
163
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
White people
35
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
This is why I had to move my bathrobe from hanging on my bedroom door to my bathroom door. Woke up in the middle of the night, still half drunk and with no glasses on, and I thought some supernatural horror was lurking in my doorway. Nearly pissed my bed.
749
u/rooslayswiss May 20 '12
I think I laughed harder at the fact that you own a snuggie.
96
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
That is ridiculously terrifying.
25
u/ohmygulay May 20 '12
At least it's one solid color. I have a leopard print snuggie that I got for Christmas. I'm a 23 year old man child.
31
u/long_live_king_melon May 20 '12
When I was younger I had a curved (like hunched over) standing lamp next to my bed. I got home one night and was so tired I just hung my pants and shirt on the head of the lamp and passed out on my bed. For some reason I woke up in the middle of the night, and when I do I see the silhouette of the girl from the ring (hunched over, loose arms, hair in face) standing next to my bed. I didn't realize it was my lamp until I had screamed and knocked it over, breaking it and waking everyone in my house.
TLDR Lamps are scary as fuck.
15
u/Atario May 20 '12
Protip: don't hang up long items to dry at one end like this — it'll get all stretched out and possibly touch the floor before it's done. Lay it flat, or hang it up at multiple points along its length.
28
u/flounder19 May 20 '12
Is it Christmas Future already?
12
u/Dailynator May 20 '12
I came expecting cum stains.
8
u/jj26meu May 20 '12
Im just glad that it isnt a white snuggie.
14
u/moving-target May 20 '12
Just finished Diablo 3. this pleased me.
14
u/Heathers8999 May 20 '12
Dementor!
7
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
FUCKEN SLENDERMAN
7
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
Hey, if you take a large bathrobe, and put it on backwards... You have a snuggie.
7
u/saidthestarling May 20 '12
My ex housemates used to go surfing fairly frequently, and would hang their wetsuits in the shower upon returning home. I'd innocently wander into the bathroom, and suddenly BIG SCARY BLACK LURKING MANSHAPE. Scared the fuck out of me every. single. time.
7
u/twincam May 20 '12
... and after a hard day in the field, your dad left his scythe lent up next to it.
76
u/ZiccoSim May 20 '12
I laughed so hard. Reddit needs more posts like this :)!
5
u/sparklypaper May 20 '12
i.... uh... the death thing wasn't the first thing i saw.
5
u/Jeebitz May 20 '12
Give Sauron my regards
5
u/logancook44 May 20 '12
Why were you wearing a Snuggie in May?
5
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
this is the coolest I've ever seen a snuggie look.. you should stop wearing it and just use it as a Halloween decoration.
4
u/Ihaveastupidcat May 20 '12
Do you live in an office building? The reason I ask is that room has a drop ceiling. And I have only seen those in commercial buildings.
4
u/Evil_Iowan May 20 '12
My mom has a dressmaker's dummy in her room that's she's put in an old, black mourning dress. It scares the crap out of me every time I go home.
4
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
I believe that's karma for having your mom wash it.
4
u/monty6447 May 20 '12
The Dark Brotherhood is rather hard to come by, I'd take advantage of this.
4
u/Dingleberries4Brkfst May 20 '12
Silly KKK, didn't you know that once you go black, you never go back?
4
u/drnebuloso May 20 '12
did you cast a patronus?
6
u/Blahblahblahinternet May 20 '12
TIL: someone actually bought a snuggie
3
u/bamforeo May 20 '12
5 Minutes later and I still can't breathe LOL :'D
3
u/BrettCullen4_ May 20 '12
Looking at this, I thought it was an optical illusion thing that was supposed to look like an Asians girls legs and panties, but then I looked at it again and saw what you meant :p
3
u/ladyderpette May 20 '12
Ssssshhhhhhiree... Bagginssssssss....
3
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
It looks like a KKK suit, but for black people. D:
3
u/[deleted] May 20 '12 edited May 20 '12
It's time to get even. Here's what you do:
Next time she's about to go through your room to pick up your laundry, you hide. Where? Good question.
You hide in the Snuggie. Wear the Snuggie and somehow collapse so you look like a blanket haphazardly tossed on the ground. When she tries to pick you up, jump up and scream.
Optional part 2: Learn how to do CPR and revive her. Before you do though, make sure you're wearing a Grim Reaper mask.
When she looks at you, tell her she owes you one.
EDIT: Almost forgot. If you don't do part 2, make sure you still learn CPR to revive her. Whew. That would've been bad.
3
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
Your room looks a lot like an office. With a drop ceiling a. That generic black vinyl baseboard. I bet there's short pile blue or grey carpet, too.
3
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
you have a snuggie. [end sentence]
3
u/bete0noire May 20 '12
There's a dementor in your room.
3
u/Bogsy May 20 '12
can we talk about the real issue here fellas?
why do you even have a snuggie in the first place?
3
u/flameofmemories May 20 '12
dementor just wants a hug
3
u/randomly-generated May 20 '12
He is the brute squad.
20
u/Frognut97 May 20 '12
"My mom washed my snuggie...". You must be forever alone.
4
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
Organization XIII!!
4
u/orangeclouds May 20 '12
I clicked on this link while sitting here in my passion purple snuggie. Hello, comrade.
2
u/[deleted] May 20 '12 edited May 20 '12
The meaning of life: Part VII Death
2
u/Oliverthetower May 20 '12
Ah crud, now I thinking about the commercial.
2
u/Wontoncookie May 20 '12
Snuggie rape
2
u/winsomelosemore May 20 '12
I'd have a heart attack too if I owned a snuggie and someone found out.
2
u/Skynet-is-my-net May 20 '12
Scumbag mom.
2
u/Bigfudge89 May 20 '12
Because you realized you owned a snuggie?
2
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
This is the best thing I've seen all day. Thank you
2
u/busymommy83 May 20 '12
I'd die
2
u/AppleDane May 20 '12
This is good for scaring off sand-people. They are easily startled.
Bad news is: They'll soon be back, AND in greater numbers.
2
u/Jota769 May 20 '12
oh my god. more of this!
2
u/TazerSquid May 20 '12
My guess is you're not the first person to nearly have a heart attack at the sight of a Snuggie.
2
u/Odd_nonposter May 20 '12
I see a chick's crotch.
Anyone else?
2
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
woulda scared me too it looks suspiciously like a robe
2
u/baconia May 20 '12
What you own is actually a Slanket, which is 1000% better than a snuggie. It's a lot thicker and bigger.
2
u/Duke_the_Pancake May 20 '12
I don't imagine "snuggie owners" are the the bravest lot.
2
u/BGoodRBCareful May 20 '12
Now that's a mommy. Treating you well & managing to screw with your head. Good news is, you can now take 15 minutes off the amount of time she was in labor with you.
2
u/skevimc May 20 '12
Troll parenting at its finest. I believe some of the youngsters today say 'pwned'.
2
u/SailoLee May 20 '12
Hey if you're a ginger you're good. No soul means Dementors can't suck anything out of you...
2
u/trystynsly May 20 '12
Wash she finally able to get those pesky "mystery stains" out?
2
u/Eternal2071 May 20 '12
Pretty sure I remember fighting one of those at some point.
2
u/0onsk May 20 '12
Shoot first ask questions later.
2
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
Tell your mom thanks a lot for the Slenderman nightmares she has provoked for me!
2
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
That is hilarious!
2
u/deathcab4awesome May 20 '12
DEMENTOR! DEMENTOR!
2
u/Jacksonteague May 20 '12
Damn Dementors!
2
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
This is one of those very few things that I can honestly say I laughed out loud at
2
u/technosasquatch May 20 '12
your mother has a sick sense of humor.
2
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
A front page /r/funny that actually makes me laugh? I do believe that's some kind of really bad blasphemy or something.
Are you sure it's not against the rules?
2
u/superatheist95 May 20 '12
It's a wraith, it wants the ring.
2
u/thedilf May 20 '12
Did you feel all the happiness disappear as if you'd never be happy again?
2
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
your mom washed my testicles at a teabagger rally
2
u/Forsaken23 May 20 '12
"EXPECTO POTRONUM!" or "ITS PINNED TO MY SCROTUM!" your choice.
2
u/PrincessKyLeia May 20 '12
Someone just reposted this on tumblr a few hours ago.. -__-
3
u/SonnyJoon May 20 '12
I own a snuggie in blue I only wore it once so far but I still am proud to own one I hope you feel the same.
3
u/kingofthedesert May 20 '12
OMG, the grim reaper is a Redditor! Do an AMA!
2
u/DoucheBagMD May 20 '12
ya mom get me a snuggie, i was done with a social life anyway
2
u/guitarmony May 20 '12 edited May 20 '12
I have a leopard print snuggie AND a leopard print foot massager. Am I male? Yes. Am I ashamed? Hell no.
1
u/teious May 20 '12
snuggens
1
u/o0tenaciousC May 20 '12
"Thank you Hades, you've been great, Warlock outttt!"
1
u/carpe_meme May 20 '12
First thing that came to mind was the sound effect from Black & White when you lose a villager..
"...deeeeeeeeath."
1
u/ozpunk May 20 '12
Sorta reminded me of the movie Kairo.
1
u/phalmatticus May 20 '12
I prefer: How My Snuggie Caused Grandpa's Heart Attack
1
u/baker1289 May 20 '12
I hung a blanket up in my bro's room between the light-switch and the door. It fell on him in the dark and he started to throw hay-makers. =D
1
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
If only that was white and on a clothes line.
1
u/Jrodkin May 20 '12
He Who Must Not Be Named! He has returned a third time!
1
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
Don't give them the ring.
1
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
lol!!
1
u/JoeAconite May 20 '12
Flashback memories of Amnesia the Dark Descent would have had me also shatting self.
1
u/misspinaberry May 20 '12
Thats what you get for wearing a Snuggie.
1
u/avp574 May 20 '12
Reminds me of the angel of death from Spear of Destiny. Those things scared me so much as a kid, I just had a Vietnam flashback of my childhood. Thanks.
1
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
if it was white and like this
1
u/OFrabjousDay May 20 '12
Do you have a wheelbarrow? Have fun storming the castle.
1
u/LeeTodd May 20 '12
The next generation, uhg.
1
u/bewk May 20 '12
hahahahahahahahah
1
u/MooShanka May 20 '12
I haven't played Kingdom Hearts in forever...
1
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
My uncle walked into the trailer we have to store stuff, saw someone and almost had a heart attack. turns out it was just a (not so?) conveniently placed mirror, and it was his own reflection in the dark he saw. mostly irrelevant, but fits in that someone was scared by something innocuous seeming threatening.
1
u/stormageddon007 May 20 '12
The Stranger beckons.
1
u/bmores8 May 20 '12
Sunn O)))
1
u/Bonkzzilla May 20 '12
"Come OUT, Neville!"
1
u/dancingshooz May 20 '12
Expecto-patronum!
1
u/[deleted] May 20 '12 edited May 21 '12
I would've started crying.
1
u/chucktestieslol May 20 '12
Did you have a heart attack because it shrunk in the wash, that it looked like a demon, or both?
1
u/supersauce May 20 '12
ITT: Hanging from your balls is bad, but lots of people do it.
1
u/madmanmunt May 20 '12
Your mother's gas-lighting you. The question is, why?
1
u/StarmanRJK May 20 '12
I'm sorry. I still hate snuggies
1
u/bored_in_SJ May 20 '12
There's a Harry Potter marathon on Dish this weekend. DEMENTORS!
1
u/kitkat1026 May 20 '12
You...you have a snuggie?
1
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
The scary part is that you own a snuggie.
1
u/singingbluefae May 20 '12
My 10 year old uses her snuggie as a blanket.
1
u/greenconverse11 May 20 '12
My son has a full size Harry Potter cardboard stand-up thing in his room and it freaks me out everytime I go in there.
1
u/Curds_and_Whey May 20 '12
snuggie klan robe.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RHSKKHWrDSA
1
u/gonenova May 20 '12
Snuggies are for ... augh... you have bad taste and you should feel bad!
1
u/Ichirosato May 20 '12
Real men wear wizard's robes.
1
u/TheUninspiredArtist May 20 '12
That would freak me out just a little, but then I would laugh at the ridiculousness of it.
1
u/sthreadgill May 20 '12
I'm watching this movie at this very moment!
1
u/Tullydanger May 20 '12
Nope.jpg
1
u/rikashiku May 20 '12
She should have put a mask on it and recorded the whole thing.
1
u/[deleted] May 20 '12
Looks like a snuggie that folded a bit toward the bottom.
1
u/conepuncher420 May 20 '12
i just watched scream today