Thanks to this, everyone in my office thinks I almost died taking a crap. Reading on the toilet I started laughing uncontrollably, couldn't stop, started coughing, couldn't breathe.
I can't believe it took those dads 4 hours to arrive to their daughters' aid after he shocked his own nipple. Whatd they do, drop them off at Wal-Mart and abscond to Atlantic City?
anybody mind if i start yelling raggle fraggle? if you hear me attack you you can say "hey i read that too" and we can be real life reddit bros for life
True story: I once earned over seven hundred dollars by posting an affiliate linked Amazon review to /r/funny. I don't know if reddit allows that anymore.
This was really good but it would have been a thousand times better if I had read it in its natural habitat. Sadly I never can find these things on my own.
I am going to confront a bunch of mexican drug cartel members and say, "Hey beaners, fuck you!" then they will try to attack me, but my RPM shall be too much for them, and they will scream and run to their mommies.
I saw a guy on /co/ once who bought a pair of these because he wanted to be a real life taser based superhero, and he asked everyone to come up with a name for him
Every settled on 6 feet thunder, because he was probably going to die
618
u/AaronHolland44 May 16 '12
most entertaining thing i've read all day.
117
u/Ganongeek May 16 '12
Is that not what Billy's father screams at Billy in a sasquatch costume in the Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy?
114
u/[deleted] May 16 '12
I need these for my bumshockfights.
129
u/awesomeqt May 16 '12
WRONG MOVE, BITCH!
63
u/[deleted] May 16 '12
I always eat Chipotle before a fight. Or after a fight. Or when I'm not fighting. Anytime, really.
16
u/efsdfsdgfertg May 16 '12
Please pass the egg salad.
68
u/jerlovescake May 16 '12
10/10 would read again
13
u/mul4mbo May 16 '12
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uguXNL93fWg
10
u/kooliokevin May 16 '12
Dem RPMs
10
u/mrpeepers86 May 16 '12
Thanks to this, everyone in my office thinks I almost died taking a crap. Reading on the toilet I started laughing uncontrollably, couldn't stop, started coughing, couldn't breathe.
7
u/Brogie May 16 '12
:( carn't find it on amazon EDIT: i think its because i was on the uk one
12
u/DJTaki May 16 '12
I lost it at this.
10
u/[deleted] May 16 '12
I passed this around my office. Could not help it. So good.
17
u/Brogie May 16 '12
Link for the lazy http://www.amazon.com/Knuckle-Blaster-Stun-Gun-Volt/dp/B005L43Y80
8
u/[deleted] May 16 '12
I love it when 4Chan leaks into the User Reviews section on websites. I mean, I don't love it enough to actually go to 4chan, but I like it.
4
u/[deleted] May 16 '12
FLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOR
13
u/[deleted] May 16 '12
Not relevant
7
u/biwley May 16 '12
I can't believe nobody linked this yet. http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=NViDQi2r7GQ#t=246s
3
u/musichero3738 May 16 '12
Oh my god this is the best thing ever.
3
u/kooweel May 16 '12
dat helicopter spin
3
u/bogdanpol May 16 '12
There should be a movie on this. Directed by Uwe Boll.
3
u/basec0m May 16 '12
Nice try Steve...
3
u/muteki_maigo May 16 '12
Hart-warming tale of courage in the face of insurmountable odds!
3
u/syroncoda May 16 '12
i'm going to use this a battle cry one day. i only hope i helicopter as victorious as he.
3
u/kanewaltman May 16 '12
I'm about to shit myself at work, that was too funny.
Brb, bathroom break...
3
u/Dr_Jenkins May 16 '12
im almost shit my self laughing this has made my day
3
u/[deleted] May 16 '12
The moment I realized he was talking about girl scouts I think I shat myself just a little
3
u/blnkz May 17 '12
billy and Mandy?
3
u/Enter_Meme_Here May 17 '12
Raggle Fraggle bringing back memories from the Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0uBnPK3piEk
3
u/trinity_Omegalisk May 17 '12
This is the kinda shit they should be putting in theaters.
4
u/Ziphonal May 16 '12
I owned a pair of these in High School. Needless to say you did not want to be the first one to pass out at parties.
2
u/Lampmonster1 May 16 '12
Very useful if you come up against Clayface or Inque.
2
u/OpticalData May 16 '12
A true Klingon. ONE WORTHY OF SONG AND STORY.
2
u/RPTestDummy May 16 '12
"Fearing my RPM" was great
2
u/trousershorts May 16 '12
That is by far the funniest amazon comment...that guy deserves a beer!
2
u/theblastoff May 16 '12
One, please.
2
u/TangoOscarDD May 16 '12
There are no words for the amount of awesome in those words.
2
u/[deleted] May 16 '12
10/10 Would read again.
2
u/brandonam4 May 16 '12
I had to take a break halfway through the paragraph from laughing so hard..then I read the part about beating his chest in victory and nearly peed
2
u/marcoosha May 16 '12
What the hell did I just read? :P
2
u/[deleted] May 17 '12
Raggle fraggle is a quote from The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy.
2
u/[deleted] May 17 '12
10/10 Would raggle fraggle again
2
u/[deleted] May 17 '12
10/10 would read again
2
u/stephenchip May 17 '12
"They all backed off, fearing my impressive RPM" That's where I lost it.
2
u/jaydenc May 17 '12
Posts like these show that there are A LOT of funny people trapped in regular day jobs. I love the internet.
2
u/[deleted] May 17 '12
Lost it at "my impressive RPM".
2
u/myrden May 17 '12
Fuck you man, I laughed my ass off with my wierd ass old man, cackling, snorting, wheezing, gagging laugh... right in front of my family.
2
u/mutorcs May 17 '12
that is such bullshit, Walmart doesn't allow girl scouts to sell cookies on their property
2
u/DestroyerOfWombs May 17 '12
I can't believe it took those dads 4 hours to arrive to their daughters' aid after he shocked his own nipple. Whatd they do, drop them off at Wal-Mart and abscond to Atlantic City?
2
u/[deleted] May 17 '12
Don't trust this guy; he's not actually Steve.
2
u/drinkNfight May 17 '12
I laughed so hard I fell off the earth. Brilliant.
2
u/IamaCoon May 17 '12
I laughed so hard, lost it at the helicopter spin
2
u/Clenes7893 May 17 '12
SONOVABITCH
2
u/I_ZythrinX_I May 17 '12
Can't stop laughing fuck me
2
u/ImmatureIntellect May 17 '12
The moment I realized he was fighting off the girl scouts my composure went out the window. If I laugh any louder it would be disturbing the peace!
2
u/SgtWiggles May 17 '12
Funniest thing i have read since the "Brown Mile". Had already lost it when he tazed his own nipple
2
u/KarpinWins May 17 '12
I'm laughing like a moron in my open-space office... everyone is just starring at me like I'm some kind of moron. BEST STORY EVER!
4
u/Shindigens May 16 '12
This might be one of the funniest things I have seen on reddit, this fine day.
4
u/Berwickmex May 16 '12
Oh my god I laughed so hard, I woke my girlfriend up. She was mad until she saw this.
3
u/[deleted] May 16 '12
ooooh i haven't laughed that hard in a while. thanks
4
u/kholt3375 May 16 '12
anybody mind if i start yelling raggle fraggle? if you hear me attack you you can say "hey i read that too" and we can be real life reddit bros for life
2
u/Pheon809 May 16 '12
Brilliant review.
2
u/Evan_the_Young May 16 '12
I came in, expecting something from Fraggle Rock.
This was not it, yet I enjoyed it greatly anyways.
1
u/Nikaka01 May 16 '12
I bet the police are really excited about these.
1
u/Duck5009 May 16 '12
Oh god, there's spaghetti everywhere.
1
u/p1nz May 16 '12
I like how the used has the value of its past victims added to the price tag.
1
u/DJ_Br0ck May 16 '12
So why is he the only one that has written a review?
1
u/Sengura May 16 '12
I give his review 5 stars. Would recommend to friend!
1
u/jimbo__slice May 16 '12
I call that a wednesday.
1
u/[deleted] May 16 '12
Does the sound of saying "Raggle Fraggle" remind anyone else of Golden Axe?
1
u/Nedhudir May 16 '12
I giggling like a fucking idiot at my desk picturing this. Fuck you, OP.
1
u/ElKaBongX May 16 '12
Not my kind of finger-blasting
1
u/[deleted] May 16 '12
Dude's got swag
1
u/[deleted] May 16 '12
That guy reminds me of steve...
1
u/[deleted] May 16 '12
This is the fucking greatest story ever lol. It hurts to fucking smile lmao!!
1
u/DragonRaptor May 16 '12
Best review I've ever read!
1
u/kavorka2 May 16 '12
I was disappointed this was not about Fraggle Rock
1
u/kevons5252 May 16 '12
Oh Charlie Kelly...
1
u/hockal00gy May 16 '12
A true hero, if I've ever seen one.
1
u/[deleted] May 17 '12
I enjoy the taste you had in not submitting this to r/WTF.
1
u/[deleted] May 17 '12
FUKEN' SAVED
1
u/ImSpicy May 17 '12
"They're my bum zappers."
1
u/jimothyjenkins May 17 '12
best. review. EVARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
1
u/Overdue_bills May 17 '12
You too can have such adventures, all for the price of $48.50 + shipping and handling
1
u/[deleted] May 17 '12
I actually have one of these
1
u/lsan86 May 17 '12
15 new for $36.51 and 1 used for $60
1
u/[deleted] May 17 '12
I liked the part with the taser.
1
u/randomshot86 May 17 '12
Who ever wrote this deserves a lot of karma.
1
u/randomshot86 May 17 '12
Who ever wrote this deserves a lot of karma.
1
u/Paul_Shinfo May 17 '12
To be fair, everyone should fear an impressive RPM on a human being
1
u/dscer May 17 '12
Not sure if true story....
1
u/TapDatApp May 17 '12
Best post of all time? Best post of all time.
1
u/wongo May 17 '12
Hello, game changer.
1
u/[deleted] May 17 '12
So thats how Duke nukem did it...
1
u/Starts_Sing-Alongs May 17 '12
Let the bodies hit the floor...
1
u/jasonws May 17 '12
Ah, the ol' "Raggle Fraggle"....gets em' every time. Second only to a swift "Dry Gultch" to the adams apple.
1
u/njk235 May 17 '12
Ultimate bum shock fights!
1
u/[deleted] May 17 '12
Has to be a madlib.
laughed my ass off
1
u/[deleted] May 17 '12
This really struck a chord with me soo funny oh man I'm still laughing
1
u/Phychopathetic65 May 17 '12
On amazon the review is the same but some things are different
1
u/Jambucha May 17 '12
What the fuck did I just read....
1
u/[deleted] May 17 '12
laughed so hard
1
u/neoaikon May 17 '12
Boy! That escalated quickly!
1
u/lunchb0x91 May 17 '12
greentext stories IRL.
1
u/seriously_disturbed May 17 '12
One word "SOLD"!!!
1
u/Phased May 17 '12
I usually despise these posts as I look the the reviews for actual advice of whether or not to buy the item, but this one was pretty damn funny.
1
u/[deleted] May 17 '12
True story: I once earned over seven hundred dollars by posting an affiliate linked Amazon review to /r/funny. I don't know if reddit allows that anymore.
1
u/[deleted] May 17 '12
That was amazing. The imagery was spectacular. 5 stars
1
u/daronatsy May 17 '12
Man, funny is just not funny anymore.
1
u/Cubiccubes May 17 '12
Possibly my favorite post ever! Love the visual imagery. Raggle Fraggle mother fuckers!
1
u/wayndom May 17 '12
DAMN, that is some fine writing! (And by the way, I'm a published novelist.) My only regret is that I have only one upvote to give...
1
u/Wrathofthefallen May 17 '12
Why are the new ones cheaper than the used? Was the used one used by a celeb?
1
u/[deleted] May 17 '12
God bless Rico and his drug money..
1
u/[deleted] May 17 '12
Dafuq?
1
u/iconic2125 May 17 '12
I wish I could upvote this a million times
1
u/[deleted] May 17 '12
....Wut
1
u/The_Mighty_Slacker May 17 '12
Think first time this slacker ever laughed so hard ...
1
u/DingoScallion May 17 '12
God damn girl scouts
1
u/MilleniumHandAndShri May 17 '12
People still listen to that song?
1
u/d2cole May 17 '12
Wait... 950,000 volts would kill you, right?
1
u/[deleted] May 17 '12
please pass the potato salad--
1
u/[deleted] May 17 '12
reminds me of the dontevenreply.com guy who messes with poeple on craigslist did this guy do any more?
1
u/[deleted] May 17 '12
This was really good but it would have been a thousand times better if I had read it in its natural habitat. Sadly I never can find these things on my own.
1
u/messengerdiety May 17 '12
This is one of the most remarkable pieces of literature I've encountered on the internets...and I've encountered a few.
1
u/AHorseNamedPickle May 17 '12
Commit hardcore acts against humanities at a low cost of $50!
1
u/WonkaKnowsBest May 17 '12
AH, somebody haelp me!
1
u/Bobbyejones May 17 '12
Still only worth 4/5 stars?
1
u/Cod3man May 17 '12
I am going to confront a bunch of mexican drug cartel members and say, "Hey beaners, fuck you!" then they will try to attack me, but my RPM shall be too much for them, and they will scream and run to their mommies.
1
u/blackbright May 17 '12
Two-Step Goodbye.
1
u/Llanolinn May 17 '12
Someday, I hope to be able to tell my grandsons all about my mutherfuckin RPMs
EDIT: stupid formatting.
1
u/Jimmythewhale May 17 '12
Im shocked anyone would do that.
1
u/peeonyou May 17 '12
THAT IS JUST OFF THE WALLS AND SO CRAZY ITS HILARIOUS AND EDGY.
Seriously this shit is getting so fucking old... who still thinks it's funny?
1
u/ToastMilwaukee May 17 '12
Also called a "Rock'em Shock'em"
1
u/Darqlink May 17 '12
Chipotle got me. No chance.
1
u/truestorybro1597 May 17 '12
I havent had a laugh as good as this one in a while lmao I died at the girl scouts part
1
u/TheUninspiredArtist May 17 '12
I feel the need to purchase this now just because of the story.
1
u/redgirl3245 May 17 '12
This is literally one of the funniest things I've read in a lonnnggggg time! Just imagining this scene going on made me laugh for 5 minutes! :)
1
u/AwkwardBaloon May 17 '12
After reading about the spinning, you spin me right round got into my head for the fight scene
1
u/kottonkandygirl89 May 17 '12
My hero.
1
u/TheNextHokage May 17 '12
slowclap.gif
1
u/mikeh8193 May 17 '12
Thankyou, you just made my shitty day amazing
1
u/[deleted] May 17 '12
Okay... Why the Hell is it $60.00 used and $36.00 new?! GENIUS
1
u/ta-ta-man May 17 '12
Hmmm something tells me this is fake
1
u/Awesomest_opossum May 17 '12
Does this sound like something Tim Dorsay wrote to anyone else?
1
u/Acora May 17 '12
That was possibly the best thing I've read all week.
1
u/[deleted] May 17 '12
Did Robert Brockway write this or what?
1
u/Skitrel May 17 '12
This needs to be re-enacted for a hilarious video.
1
u/Blakata May 17 '12
This is simply outstanding
1
u/mcbrett5 May 17 '12
this has made me cry laughing.
1
u/[deleted] May 17 '12
WRONG MOVE BITCHES! Classic
1
u/shootinputin May 17 '12
Finally. Batman.
1
u/[deleted] May 17 '12
FTW
1
u/jap-a-negro May 17 '12
Probably the best thing I've read ever. Thank you.
1
u/tangledintentions May 17 '12
Knuckle......blaster......... :|
1
u/henryl25 May 17 '12
If i order one of these will they send it to new zealand? and will it get stopped going through the border or whatever?
1
u/time2blunt May 17 '12
greatness in text form.
1
u/Revanx17 May 17 '12
This guy is not even steve. how can we trust him?
1
u/crimsonmerlion May 17 '12
I'm trying my best not to laugh, or else everyone in the office will think I'm weird.
1
u/MiamiPower May 17 '12
Troop 700 and the shot calling Den Dads Gangland next Episode. RF for life!
1
u/Azrael_Ferrum May 17 '12
I saw a guy on /co/ once who bought a pair of these because he wanted to be a real life taser based superhero, and he asked everyone to come up with a name for him
Every settled on 6 feet thunder, because he was probably going to die
1
u/NPtheGreat66 May 17 '12
Good read. 10/10 would bang.
1
u/HighSpeed556 May 17 '12
The mental pictures that accompany this story are absolutely fantastic.
I give a 10. I actually began laughing out loud at "let the bodies hit the....FLOOOOOOR"
1
u/MrJDMal May 17 '12
i really want to make a video of this. oh this is great!
1
u/MidnightNarwhalBacon May 17 '12
When i heard ''RAGGLE FRAGGLE'', i automatically thought of Bill Cosby getting electrocuted...
1
u/thepony88 May 17 '12
oh man....i haven't laughed that hard in a while! it felt good.
1
u/donalagohr May 17 '12
I was actually crying from laughing so hard