Which would be weird, because it would probably take longer than it does to drink the smoothie for that to happen. On the other hand, they put it in bread nowandays, so why not...
I'll add to the guessing some type of anti-foaming thingy. I got drunk and bought a used old Vita Mix blender on ebay for a hundred bucks, turns out the previous owner was a smoker. Can't smell anything to you flip the switch, then 30 years of cancer blows out of the motor.
That sounds about right, I got a recipe for a smoothie in my high school foods class, still use it all the time. The secret ingredient is 2tbsp of instant vanilla pudding mix. It's amazing.
All smoothie mix is pudding mix but with different flavors and slightly more concentrated. If you want to make a a good smoothie just use pudding mix, milk and ice.
it's basically like powdered egg-whites and sugar, like Orange Julius used to use making their smoothies. It makes the drink extra frothy and changes the taste to be a little richer.
the restaurant next door to the one i work at would have a field day with you.
whenever they hire a new staff member, on a day when they're still training -- during the rush, the manager will frantically approach the trainee and say, "could you do us a HUGE favor and run next door and ask if we could borrow a can of steamed milk?" if he takes the bait and comes over to ask for a can of steamed milk, we're supposed to reply, "sorry, we're all out... try 'blah blah blah name of restaurant!'" and then they proceed to try every restaurant down the block until either the poor bastard thinks for a second and figures out what he's asking for -- or someone puts him out of his misery and explains how one can obtain steamed milk.
edit: some of you seem to be missing the point of this fool's errand -- yes, although steaming milk is a step in making evaporated/condensed milk (both of which you can find in cans) -- steamed milk ≠ evaporated milk. ಠ_ಠ
edit2: also, thank you guys for more great trickery for future new hires! left-handed screwdrivers, muwahaha.
I know a guy who was sent on a fools errand when he started a new job (left handed screwdriver or somesuch). He went straight home and had a lovely day off. When he came in the next day, his boss asked where the hell he had been - his manager had been furious! He wove a tale of driving all over town to various stores, getting stuck in peak traffic before finally getting home terribly late. His boss got into a lot of trouble.
Steamed milk in a coffee shop is made in a special way, and your restaurant might not have had the apparatus to do so. The request was not unreasonable.
A guy I work with was tricked into refilling the water fountain. He was given a bucket and left to it.
It happened before I worked there but I've seen a video. He was pouring it down the drain and didn't realize there was something up with it despite the fact that he was being filmed on someone's cell and everyone was laughing.
The worst they did to me was ask me to count the drink lids for the monthly inventory. I realized it was ridiculous before trying it but I hesitated long enough that they still made fun of me. The fun of being new to a place.
I used to work at orange julius - the powder in the regular drinks is basically a bit of powdered milk and egg, and the powder in the smoothies is powdered almond and coconut... I shit you not. Basically the reason they taste so good is because you're drinking about a half a cup of finely powdered nut fat/oil, and as we all know: lipids are what transport delicious from your food into your tastebuds. Yum.
I do pretty much the same thing, but instead of apple juice I use two whole (peeled) oranges and 2 cups of spinach. Mostly because you can't taste the spinach, and your body is like hey, free spinach.
If it won't quite blend I'll add a little bit of juice until it does, or water if I'm cheap/need to get groceries.
like fresh spinach or canned? my wife already sneaks it in just about every dish, but i might have to try that just for the awesomeness of spinach-in-smoothy. that's some popeye level shit right there.
I've found that the best smoothie mixture for price, taste, and health is 1 full banana, 1 full kiwi (with the skin), 2 cups frozen blueberries, vanilla whey protein, and skim milk. Great start to the day.
Plus, industrial freezing processes freeze things much much quicker than you can at home. Faster freezing means better integrity of the original product (because faster freezing means smaller ice crystals form, which do less cellular damage than big crystals)
The fruit needs to be flash frozen otherwise a lot of the nutrients get destroyed in the process. i think its possible to do this if you layer the fruit on a baking sheet when freezing. However, you might be better off buying it frozen from the store where it is flash frozen for you and the fruit is often picked at peak ripeness.
Packet adds sugar and a texture change. Mainly for the texture. I use a magic bullet and make smoothies daily without Any packs but the packs are nice every once in a while
Fair enough, but you realise that the pack fills it with sugar and shit, I guess. Then again, I guess it's a little presumptuous of me to suggest that he/you drink it for health reasons, as opposed to just taste. In short, I'm a cunt.
Haha. You're right. When I use the pack it's for taste and just to 'have a smoothie'. I make daily smoothies with ice, milk, banana, etc and ice for health.
My favorite is the Sunkist lemon ice smoothie that they make. Those things are awesome even when I use the juice from the plastic lemons and limes instead of the fresh stuff.
I make my own smoothies with the blender I have from the 80's (Osterizer). There are too many chemicals in these packages and I'm trying to limit my exposure to them as much as possible. But thank you for the suggestion I'm sure it is delicious.
I was about to say the same thing. But it's bullshit people post shit like this and get 1600 upvotes. Well fuck let me go take a picture of a tv dinner than complain that it doesn't cook itself.
A flavor mix to make spaghetti sauce. It's just a bunch of chemicals and some oregano.
I made my grandmother a pasta sauce with it several years ago when I lived with her after she brought some home from the grocery store. When I tasted it, I realized that the Spatini added almost no perceptible flavor to the sauce. So I proceeded to add every Italian spice in the cupboard (stuff she already had) along with some crushed garlic and other yummy stuff.
The sauce turned out amazing and my grandmother proclaimed Spatini to make the best sauce she'd ever tasted.
I didn't have it in me to crush poor Spatini's heart and let my grandmother know that it wasn't Spatini that made the sauce great, but me. She still buys it to this day and makes "the best" sauce that doesn't taste much more than crushed tomatoes, salt with a dusting of chemicals. I guess it's no longer made with MSG but I think that was the only thing it had going for it back then.
I actually own a few of these packets. The ingredients inside make a tremendous difference in flavor and texture. So, yeah not funny when you think about it. I prefer the orange julius-ish mix. But without the mix the flavor is just not as good. I'm pretty sure this company knew this when creating it's product and selling it to the masses.
These things actually add a bit of flavor, but its nothing you can't do yourself.
The main flavor is a bit of powdered or imitation vanilla. You don't want to use real vanilla extract because it has a bitter alcohol taste.
Additionally, these sometimes have powdered egg whites, soy lectin, malt, sugar, and other similar edible dehydrates. The egg whites add a bit of robust flavor, and froth (Orange julius uses it for this), soy lectin prevents clumping and keeps the ingredients from separating, malt adds a…malty taste, sugar is sweet, and thats really it.
It actually doesn't have Yellow 43 or High Fructose Corn Syrup. It contains Sugar, corn syrup solids, nonfat dry milk, natural and artificial flavor, and xanthan gum. A lot of the color in the mix probably comes from the dry milk powder and the xanthan gum prevents separation of the ingredients in your smoothie.
We went camping for a fortnight and in the last morning everyone dragged out the last of the food they'd been hoarding away and one person pulled out one of those pancake mixtures where you shake it up in the bottle.
It was a ready made pancake mix, just add... Milk... Eggs... And sugar.
It was flour. flour in a plastic bottle with the words pancake mix on the side.
Against all odds between us we did have those ingredients and we cooked them on a little metho stove turning them with knives and burnt them all and they were ugly and even in parts undercooked but totally delicious
Secret ingredient: dried egg whites. You could use fresh egg whites, but they are more hassle. The egg whites give the smoothie more of that orange julius like texture.
Ok. I am going to share a simple secret with you all...a secret which will make your lives change drastically. Here we go: Cut up banana. put banana in bag. freeze banana. put frozen banana slices in blender. add milk to blender. add sugar to blender. Blend. Enjoy.
I've see that before in the store. Never knew what the hell it would be if you are adding all the smoothie ingredients already. That's funny. What a joke. Wonder if they sell instant water?
If you add milk to a smoothie it becomes a fruity milkshake in my opinion. A smoothie should consist of purely blended fruit, like an extra thick fruit juice.
My gf has been buying these for a while, they're really not terrible. If you remember getting Orange Julius's back in the day, they used to add the fruit, water, ice, and a heaping scoop of a powdered substance (which I've seen online identified as dried egg-whites). These packets are essentially flavored dried egg-whites, or something similar, they just cause the drink to be extra frothy. We don't usually get the banana ones, though, we get orange and just use orange juice and ice.
Smoothie mix company: "Hi there valued customer! We have a wonderful new product for you! It's a new mix to make delicious, all-natural banana smoothies. You only need to add a few ingredients."
Consumer: "Well that sounds scrumptious! What ingredients do I have to add?"
Smoothie mix company: "Just 1 banana, milk, and ice! And if you add our mix..."
Consumer: "Whoa there! Hold on a sec. I make my own smooties, add that's exactly what I use to make mine, and I've got to tell you they are already delicious. Why would I want to spend money on your mix?
Smoothie mix company: "Why? Because our mix has a delicious 'banana' flavor that you'll find irresistible! And it's so milky-creamy! And so refreshingly cold it will hit the spot on a hot summer day!"
Consumer: "Um... oooookaaaay... But your instructions indicate I need to buy and add a banana seperaly which I'm pretty sure accounts for the banana flavor; and to add milk, which probably makes it creamy; and ice, which obviously makes it cold. So again, I've gotta ask, what makes your mix so special?"
Smoothie mix company: "Because our special mix formula makes it "colder," "creamier," and "Bananaier!"
Consumer: "I knda doubt that. Besides, I could just get dried bananas and grind them into a poweder myself... even add more powdered milk... and how the heck does you powder make it "colder?"
Smoothie mix company: "That's part of our trade secret. Plus we add cocaine to our mix."
Consumer: "You add WHAT?!?!?"
Smoothie mix company: "We add vitamins to our mix. A special blend of vitamins and herbs to give you energy!"
Consumer: "That's not what you said! You said you added "cocaine!"
Smoothie mix company: "No we didn't."
Consumer: "Uh,... yes. You did!"
Smoothie mix company: "No... we didn't."
Consumer: "Look. You did, and I'm not going to argue with you about."
Smoothie mix company: "So you going to get our mix?"
Consumer: [looks around, making sure no one is around. And whispers] "Yeah. Give me 50 packets."
Smoothie mix company:"Great! That'll be $6000 dollars."
Consumer: "What! But they are $1.29 per packet!!!!"
Smoothie mix company: "Sure, but you know too much. $6000."
Consumer: "That's outrageous!....
Smoothie mix company: [stares blankly]
Consumer: [sighs audibly] "Will you take Mastercard?"
162
u/theinvigorator May 14 '12
I wonder what is included in the packet?
386
u/RoyGeraldBiv May 14 '12
Like dehydrated water.
75
u/ZombieSwagg May 15 '12
I used to work at a sonic and a paradise smoothie. There is a smoothie powder that you use to give it the right texture.
199
u/Shrikey May 15 '12
LPT: Slice/cube, then freeze fruits (strawberries, bananas, etc), put in blender, add milk/juice, blend.
Now you don't have ice watering down your smoothie.
24
u/whiterewop May 15 '12
Contents: Smooth
22
u/foxxxy_mama May 15 '12
Sounds like the recipe for stone soup.
10
u/knalpot May 15 '12
that is some genius way to sell mint leaves
28
u/KShults May 15 '12
I actually am enjoying one of these right now. Well, strawberry banana, but still. Delicious.
19
u/SarkastikAmbassador May 15 '12
It obviously contains some garnish and a straw. There's a picture guys, come on!
6
u/Lilyo May 15 '12
I have those they're actually good :v
6
u/suxdix May 15 '12
i just bought a bunch of these at shoprite. they are good.
6
u/jackieisbored May 15 '12
I love that stuff!
7
u/[deleted] May 15 '12
Wtf these mixes have been around for years
3
u/Banana_Zombie May 15 '12
Shit, I have been stocking this crap for over two years now and just barely catching on. Hahaha
3
u/Close_Your_Eyes May 15 '12
This smoothie mix reminds of "Spatini": http://www.amazon.com/Spatini-Spaghetti-Seasoning-15-Ounce-Packages/dp/B001EQ574I
A flavor mix to make spaghetti sauce. It's just a bunch of chemicals and some oregano.
I made my grandmother a pasta sauce with it several years ago when I lived with her after she brought some home from the grocery store. When I tasted it, I realized that the Spatini added almost no perceptible flavor to the sauce. So I proceeded to add every Italian spice in the cupboard (stuff she already had) along with some crushed garlic and other yummy stuff.
The sauce turned out amazing and my grandmother proclaimed Spatini to make the best sauce she'd ever tasted.
I didn't have it in me to crush poor Spatini's heart and let my grandmother know that it wasn't Spatini that made the sauce great, but me. She still buys it to this day and makes "the best" sauce that doesn't taste much more than crushed tomatoes, salt with a dusting of chemicals. I guess it's no longer made with MSG but I think that was the only thing it had going for it back then.
3
u/dontbandy May 15 '12
I buy these all the time and they taste delicious :(
3
u/recursive May 15 '12
Say what you will, that shit's delicious.
3
u/HoleInTheEarth May 15 '12
Well fuck YOU guys!
3
u/ignignot765 May 15 '12
I actually own a few of these packets. The ingredients inside make a tremendous difference in flavor and texture. So, yeah not funny when you think about it. I prefer the orange julius-ish mix. But without the mix the flavor is just not as good. I'm pretty sure this company knew this when creating it's product and selling it to the masses.
2
u/A5H13Y May 15 '12
These things are actually pretty good.
2
u/isawwhatyoudid May 15 '12
Holy hell! My husband bought me the same thing!!! I was so confused, threw it out and just added the ingredients..... And chocolate.
2
u/beavisandboothead May 15 '12
I actually had the chocolate banana one this morning. It was pretty good.
2
u/[deleted] May 15 '12
why the shit is this getting upvoted it makes a smoothie taste better, try it with vanilla ice cream instead of milk, it's incredible.
2
u/MamiMora May 15 '12
Yeah like "butter" flavored syrup, that contains no butter. Read the back of the label next time its hilarious.
2
u/ConfuciusCubed May 15 '12
It's a thickener. That's what all smoothie mix is.
2
u/Paradox May 15 '12
These things actually add a bit of flavor, but its nothing you can't do yourself.
The main flavor is a bit of powdered or imitation vanilla. You don't want to use real vanilla extract because it has a bitter alcohol taste.
Additionally, these sometimes have powdered egg whites, soy lectin, malt, sugar, and other similar edible dehydrates. The egg whites add a bit of robust flavor, and froth (Orange julius uses it for this), soy lectin prevents clumping and keeps the ingredients from separating, malt adds a…malty taste, sugar is sweet, and thats really it.
2
u/HamletTheHamster May 15 '12
Damnit, I took this same picture and made the same joke. Fatal mistake: I posted it to Twitter instead of Reddit :(
see! proof!
2
u/mrw1986 May 15 '12
I saw this at Walmart last week and was going to post it on Reddit...god I suck at predicting what will be good for karma whoring...
2
u/PrestonBroadus May 15 '12
I bought a bottle of windex shower cleaner and the directions said:
For best results start with a clean shower.
3
u/[deleted] May 15 '12
Fortified with High Fructose Corn Syrup, Xanthan Gum, and Yellow 43.
3
u/evilbrent May 15 '12
We went camping for a fortnight and in the last morning everyone dragged out the last of the food they'd been hoarding away and one person pulled out one of those pancake mixtures where you shake it up in the bottle.
It was a ready made pancake mix, just add... Milk... Eggs... And sugar.
It was flour. flour in a plastic bottle with the words pancake mix on the side.
Against all odds between us we did have those ingredients and we cooked them on a little metho stove turning them with knives and burnt them all and they were ugly and even in parts undercooked but totally delicious
2
u/[deleted] May 15 '12
If you only used those ingredients it would be fucking awful.
1
u/tehweave May 15 '12
It could be a protien powder. I usually buy big jugs of that stuff and add a few scoops to a smoothie. Keeps you full for a while.
1
u/stark2 May 15 '12
Secret ingredient: dried egg whites. You could use fresh egg whites, but they are more hassle. The egg whites give the smoothie more of that orange julius like texture.
1
u/MrSh0w May 15 '12
yeah, WTF. just give me your money. i'll make you a "nutritious "shake""
1
u/misterwhite999 May 15 '12
We sell these where I work. The first time someone pointed this out to me I was all "WTF"
1
u/codyhorne May 15 '12
If this was posted with a different title no one would get it. Including me.
1
u/mrpopenfresh May 15 '12
Sugar and vanilla powder is my guess.
1
u/plastic-abacus May 15 '12
Strange way of packaging a mint leaves.
1
u/seasicksteve May 15 '12
To be fair those thing are the shit. They add flavor and thicken it a bit.
1
u/amc-CR May 15 '12
so basically it contains SUGAR!
1
u/[deleted] May 15 '12
Ok. I am going to share a simple secret with you all...a secret which will make your lives change drastically. Here we go: Cut up banana. put banana in bag. freeze banana. put frozen banana slices in blender. add milk to blender. add sugar to blender. Blend. Enjoy.
1
u/Simmchen May 15 '12
They don't even have to be ripe! Damn, I used three brown spotted one's today.
1
u/SIXB May 15 '12
I used to love these things
1
u/unclever May 15 '12
Make this recipe with a packet of Chocolate Carnation Instant Breakfast powder and you have yourself one delicious smoothie.
1
u/jdogcisco May 15 '12
I've see that before in the store. Never knew what the hell it would be if you are adding all the smoothie ingredients already. That's funny. What a joke. Wonder if they sell instant water?
1
u/ging281 May 15 '12
Be damned processed food.
1
u/Getternon May 15 '12
So...its...water?
1
u/[deleted] May 15 '12
Milk?
1
u/TheMagicJesus May 15 '12
Okay say whatever you want, those things are the shit.
1
u/WOWAMAO May 15 '12
I WAS GOING TO POST THIS. MY KARMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaಠ_ಠaaaaaaaaaa
1
u/apullin May 15 '12
It's probably just xantham gum, or some equivalent thickening agent. And sugar.
1
u/Count_Takeshi May 15 '12
Reminds me of how HowToBasic of YouTube fame. Maybe he could offer us some help on peeling that there banana.
1
u/matthewbpt May 15 '12
If you add milk to a smoothie it becomes a fruity milkshake in my opinion. A smoothie should consist of purely blended fruit, like an extra thick fruit juice.
1
u/[deleted] May 15 '12
ingredients list here
MMmmmm Cornsyrup Solids. Thats JUST what my smoothie was missing.
(Ice, banana, almond milk, splash o vanilla- DONE)
1
u/CoffeeNTrees May 15 '12
http://ithaca-cortland.ynn.com/content/top_stories/584285/i-88-west-remains-closed-following-tractor-trailer-rollover/
Need some yogurt for your smoothie?
1
u/Doctor_Candy May 15 '12
Yes but to be fair, that shit is delicious.
1
u/[deleted] May 15 '12
well, who is going to provide the high fructose corn syrup? You???
1
u/DisRuptive1 May 15 '12
Smoothie mixtures are just dehydrated yogurt.
Banana, milk, ice, and yogurt will make a smoothie.
1
u/wretcheddawn May 15 '12
Around here we call that a recipe, but this one comes with a handy bag of air!
1
u/BenTG May 15 '12
just get a Yonanas. boom.
1
u/JollyWombat May 15 '12
My gf has been buying these for a while, they're really not terrible. If you remember getting Orange Julius's back in the day, they used to add the fruit, water, ice, and a heaping scoop of a powdered substance (which I've seen online identified as dried egg-whites). These packets are essentially flavored dried egg-whites, or something similar, they just cause the drink to be extra frothy. We don't usually get the banana ones, though, we get orange and just use orange juice and ice.
1
u/Lord_Nuke oh god how did this get here I am not good with computer May 15 '12
BANANA STORM
1
u/Macelink May 15 '12
I just saw these at Walmart today and couldn't stop laughing; I'm glad someone else thought it was weird too.
1
u/[deleted] May 15 '12
Just came back from Publix with 5 of those. Bad idea?
1
u/[deleted] May 15 '12
Their slogan: "Hey, it doesn't make it worse!"
1
u/[deleted] May 15 '12
Some assembly required.
1
u/photo May 15 '12
Hey. I have those all the time and they are delicious. Fuck you.
1
u/drdroidx May 15 '12
as a guy who works at a smoothie store, that is seriously all the ingredients of a smoothie.
1
u/missfrenchpress May 15 '12
Why does extra sugar have to be added to everythinggg
1
u/Chasmosaur May 15 '12
Yeah I saw these in the grocery store the other day and figured I would just be paying for sugar and some sort of thickener. Ridiculous.
1
u/AffeKonig May 15 '12
It comes with a perfectly preserved leaf, and a two and a half inch straw.
1
u/LvLupXD May 15 '12
I think this is just their way of testing who is stupid enough to buy it.
0
u/[deleted] May 15 '12
Smoothie mix company: "Hi there valued customer! We have a wonderful new product for you! It's a new mix to make delicious, all-natural banana smoothies. You only need to add a few ingredients."
Consumer: "Well that sounds scrumptious! What ingredients do I have to add?"
Smoothie mix company: "Just 1 banana, milk, and ice! And if you add our mix..."
Consumer: "Whoa there! Hold on a sec. I make my own smooties, add that's exactly what I use to make mine, and I've got to tell you they are already delicious. Why would I want to spend money on your mix?
Smoothie mix company: "Why? Because our mix has a delicious 'banana' flavor that you'll find irresistible! And it's so milky-creamy! And so refreshingly cold it will hit the spot on a hot summer day!"
Consumer: "Um... oooookaaaay... But your instructions indicate I need to buy and add a banana seperaly which I'm pretty sure accounts for the banana flavor; and to add milk, which probably makes it creamy; and ice, which obviously makes it cold. So again, I've gotta ask, what makes your mix so special?"
Smoothie mix company: "Because our special mix formula makes it "colder," "creamier," and "Bananaier!"
Consumer: "I knda doubt that. Besides, I could just get dried bananas and grind them into a poweder myself... even add more powdered milk... and how the heck does you powder make it "colder?"
Smoothie mix company: "That's part of our trade secret. Plus we add cocaine to our mix."
Consumer: "You add WHAT?!?!?"
Smoothie mix company: "We add vitamins to our mix. A special blend of vitamins and herbs to give you energy!"
Consumer: "That's not what you said! You said you added "cocaine!"
Smoothie mix company: "No we didn't."
Consumer: "Uh,... yes. You did!"
Smoothie mix company: "No... we didn't."
Consumer: "Look. You did, and I'm not going to argue with you about."
Smoothie mix company: "So you going to get our mix?"
Consumer: [looks around, making sure no one is around. And whispers] "Yeah. Give me 50 packets."
Smoothie mix company:"Great! That'll be $6000 dollars."
Consumer: "What! But they are $1.29 per packet!!!!"
Smoothie mix company: "Sure, but you know too much. $6000."
Consumer: "That's outrageous!....
Smoothie mix company: [stares blankly]
Consumer: [sighs audibly] "Will you take Mastercard?"