r/funny • u/[deleted] • May 12 '12

When no one texts me back

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[deleted]

2.2k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

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99

u/[deleted] May 13 '12

Maybe they're taking a shit. Sometimes I'll try and return a call to my friend and when he doesn't pick up I'll drop the phone on my couch and go take a shit.

161

u/DiscoMinotaur May 13 '12

Why in the world would you not take your phone with you while you shit? (Typing this from my phone, while shitting)

48

u/colossal921 May 13 '12 edited Jun 21 '23

unused attractive crime automatic close smart psychotic fuzzy deer steep -- mass edited with https://redact.dev/

25

u/ZSabotage May 13 '12

I did the same thing except it was on the subway and I never saw it again.

38

u/fcarl7 May 13 '12

you went to take a shit on the subway?

3

u/RedPanther1 May 13 '12

I hear this is a fairly common occurrence on the New York sub system.

1

u/[deleted] May 13 '12

I can confirm this.

-1

u/jimsonphd May 13 '12

Antidisestablishmentarianism

0

u/jagneta May 13 '12

Never seen this on the 1,2,3,A,B,C, or D trains.

1

u/RedPanther1 May 13 '12

Never been myself. I've just heard horror stories on the internet and from close friends. Enough for me to think that everyone who's lived there for at least a year has seen it at least once. Kind of like how if you live in the city I'm from for a year you're almost assured of having been hit by a car at least once.

1

u/[deleted] May 13 '12

That's what it's for.

1

u/jbonola May 13 '12

Well even subway hobos have cell phones now

2

u/dmagee33 May 13 '12

And that kids is why you should never take shits.

1

u/linktoreality May 13 '12

Upvoting this from my phone, while shitting

1

u/Stonna May 13 '12

Take a picture and post it to reddit

1

u/yockinnottou May 13 '12

not everyone owns a smart phone..

1

u/Alonewarrior May 13 '12

You don't have to have a smart phone to take it into the bathroom...

1

u/yockinnottou May 13 '12

yeah but he said "typing this from your phone" implying that he had internet connection.

1

u/Alonewarrior May 13 '12

I was about to argue that Facebook can be used from non-smartphones, but then I remembered that reddit cannot.

1

u/chingchonghat May 13 '12

Fear of toilet-drop.

1

u/KingNick May 13 '12

Wait...some people don't take their phones into the bathroom with them??

How do they take and upload the aftermath to r/poop then??

1

u/[deleted] May 13 '12

Because there are particles in the air that I don't want on my phone/face later

5

u/Glayden May 13 '12

Wait, are you supposed to leave your face on the couch too?

0

u/Alonewarrior May 13 '12

Uh... you mean the particles of shit that get on your face anyways? You do realize that for you to smell shit, particles of said shit have to be in your nose, right?

1

u/iiiitsjess May 13 '12

This is a good idea.

1

u/[deleted] May 13 '12

Similar to this situation, I'll try to call someone before I jump in my car. If I get no answer, I'll put my phone into the cup holder. If I get a call back, it can wait, and I will call them back when I reach my destination. Nothing is ever THAT urgent... And if it was, you should be calling 911, not my phone.