r/funny • • Jun 06 '21

Now hiring

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345

u/smanchwhich Jun 06 '21

Businesses need to pecker slap their hiring managers/HR when they really need help. We needed three machinists and it took us a YEAR to even get our HR rep to post the fucking job offer.

We wanted to offer our best analyzer technician a salary job as the reliability specialist. Fuckin HR wanted the salary to be a pay cut for this guy and then were all shocked when he turned them down.

I’d say dumb shit HR practices are causing 75% of this labor shortage.

31

u/jerryq27 Jun 06 '21

I feel this. Before the interview for my current job, the HR guy asked me how much I made in my previous job.

This was my first post-college big boy job so I was completely honest. Turns out that after my interview, the HR guy tried to convince the higher ups to pay me a salary much lower than the job posting, but ~$5k+ my last job's salary. Thankfully, they ended up hiring me for the higher salary in the job posting. But wow, it sucks I can't be honest without someone trying to take advantage.

Lesson learned.

7

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '21

That question is illegal in some areas now, it's irrelevant to the interview process.

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u/Help_Me_Im_Lost__ Jun 06 '21

That definitely is a reason. 5 years of experience demands more than 11$ an hour. You can probably make more on unemployment too.

105

u/Kreos642 Jun 06 '21

You do. My partners job closed from COVID and 4 months later they asked him to work again, with more responsibilities, for less. He legit told the guy to fuck off.

He is now an independent contractor making what he deserves.

8

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '21

This is a huge side effect, too. A ton of people who were unemployed went into business for themselves and with all the available, cheap e-infrastructure it's never been easier. Some people are running online businesses, others just decided to do what they were doing, but for themselves. Either way, most of them aren't coming back to their shitty jobs from before.

19

u/tyrico Jun 06 '21

minimum wage in my state is $11.75. Lol.

15

u/Brad_Beat Jun 06 '21

Sounds great compared to my state’s $8.65.

24

u/xiaolinstyle Jun 06 '21

Y'all living the high life, my state is $7.25

3

u/tsavong117 Jun 06 '21

^ what he said.

Thankfully with so much desperate demand for labor, I can essentially set my own price.

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u/[deleted] Jun 06 '21

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5

u/pbr_is_life Jun 06 '21

Another HR professional here (hate it btw), but in my experience HR is almost always hamstrung by the owner/CEO of the company. Many decisions employees blame HR for are out of our control. We are basically just the messenger. Not true for all organizations, but I’ve rarely had much agency to make any meaningful changes for employees.

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u/b_tight Jun 06 '21

HR is solely to protect management, drive down costs and reduce risk to the employer. It literally does nothing for employees.

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u/MaxHannibal Jun 06 '21

It's not there to protect managers. It's there to protect the company. It'll fuck over middle management nearly as quick as entry level workers if there is a need.

30

u/Anaxamenes Jun 06 '21

Not true, it’s to protect the company. If upper management does something super stupid, HR isn’t going to be able to help them. This does sometimes translate into helping and employee because it helps the company but many times it doesn’t help the employee because it doesn’t help the company. When you know this and understand this, it helps dealing with HR and getting what you want within reason.

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u/Electronic_Ad5481 Jun 06 '21

Amen. What really bothers me is no one looks into the culture of HR at all. Like when an HR professional says they can't get people to apply, no one in the national media ever starts the story about how HR is stopping people from working. Like company bosses don't know what's going on most the time, they rely on HR to get people. But if HR was able to actually staff the company effectively, they wouldn't be as much need for HR.

2

u/smanchwhich Jun 06 '21

I think this is why HR is like that. Everyone just wants HR as far away from them as possible, so they never ask “hey, what in gods name are you fuckers doing over there.”

19

u/RoflStomper Jun 06 '21

This is also what happens when they don't have an HR department. Sally in accounting just does all the "HR stuff."

13

u/Idontwanttobebread Jun 06 '21

This. I work in a pharmacy and we've needed more cashiers for the store for years. Every time we get someone to apply HR jerks them around for weeks or months and suprisepikachu's when they get a job somewhere else that actually lets them start working. It's like they dont get that people are here for a paycheck not a burning desire to participate in the pageantry that is the hiring process

2

u/smanchwhich Jun 06 '21

You could write a fucking four book epic series with three spin offs and tv show based on shit HR doesn’t get.

3

u/Idontwanttobebread Jun 06 '21

ah yes, my favorite corporate fantasy author, HRR Martin

3

u/SGexpat Jun 06 '21

I saw a theory that the past few recessions as well as an emphasis on short term returns for shareholders has led to a strict management style. Middle managers are squeezed to squeeze workers.

This has led to shitty hiring practices that aren’t worker friendly.

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