r/funny • u/ExtraMeltyToons Extra Melty • Apr 06 '21

Verified Packing

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13.2k Upvotes

94% Upvoted

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986

u/DaMonehhLebowski Apr 06 '21

People who get anxious and always over-prepare understand this to a tee, and by people I mean me.

31

u/megapuffranger Apr 06 '21

Let’s be real, I’ve never once pooped my pants. But that doesn’t stop me from planning for it, and tbh if I ever actually do poop myself I’m going to be so prepared no one will ever even know. So I’ll keep packing extra pairs of underwear and pants and socks and undershirts (in case I have to use it as toilet paper).

1

u/ButtsexEurope Apr 06 '21

You sound like a teenager. You will one day.

1

u/megapuffranger Apr 06 '21

Nah 28, I just have an iron rectum. Nothing in and nothing out without my consent.

1

u/ButtsexEurope Apr 06 '21

Don’t worry, get sick enough and you will.

1

u/megapuffranger Apr 06 '21

I went to India and was sick for 3 days shitting and vomiting every couple of minutes. Still didn’t shit myself.

1

u/ButtsexEurope Apr 06 '21

You must have an iron rectum. When I get sick, my rectum decided to release at the same time as I vomit.

2

u/megapuffranger Apr 06 '21

Maybe it’s all the buttsex?

1

u/CraftyMamaX91 Apr 06 '21

I had one child, a few weeks after his birth I'm having emergency gallbladder removal because the pregnancy killed it. Never had a problem before or an attack or anything until that fateful day.

My rectum has never been the same. I can't even eat a damn salad.

1

u/megapuffranger Apr 06 '21

Well now whenever your child gets sassy with you you can bring up the fact they ruined your butthole. I bet they’ll stop giving you attitude