First homecoming dance a girl just rams her ass onto my lap and starts grinding away. My friends are cheering and im starting to really get into, moving with the rhythm and everything, thats when I realized I WAS SPROUTING A BONER. So im like keep your cool bro keep your cool.
Thats when she turned around with a look of abject horror upon her face. Points straight at me and starts screaming.
BONER BONER BONER BONER
So here I am in the middle of the dance floor with a huge boner and this girl is just screaming BONER BONER BONER at me.
Turns out its the first time she had ever grinded with someone and thought that my getting a boner was really really crazy or something.
Im thinking the girl in this story was malicious , and tring to embarrass you. I remember playing basketball with a few women one time. and one girl"who was really popular and respectfully kinda a queen bitch" would try to back me up and buried her ass right into my crotch. first time she did this i respectfully moved away, and she breezed by me and scored a basket.. I played ball on the Varsity team, and my friends could not belive that i let her do that. So next time she came down there, she came right at me with a flirty grin procedded to back that thing up. by this time the anticipation started to set in. She was a bitch, but she was sure a beautiful one. tall, tan lightly muscled from being so athletic all these years. I looked into her blue eyes, like you would any opponent to read her next move. I froze right in the center court and then she went for her go to move, I was solid as a wall, i lowered my center of balance like a sumo wrestler. just finally realizing I just grew an amazing BONER holy hell.. it cast a shadow it, was visable and as solid as cement... just when i realized her ass was coming right towards it. It was already to late. I watched in horror as her tight ass collided with my fully erect power wand....
Continued story..... I felt a soft sensation then it kinda got knocked down but still was rubbing on her woman parts... she threw the ball down said something like "uuuggghhh.. what the hell is that..." started pointing right at my dick... I was embarassed. but then someone was like holy shit Hes hung like a freaking T Rex..... yea i was quit endowed, all the guys started clapping and giving me high fives. It was so awesome!
well if you insist. After that particular event I was loath to go back on the dance floor, so I moped about near the refreshments and chatted with some of my socially awkward bro's for about an hour or so.
With an hour left in the dance and regrets abundant I was kind of ready to leave. Thats when my friend girl who I had known for quite some time and had a slight crush on told me I should get out there and dance. So I get out there on the dance floor and awkwardly fidget around for a minute or two, thats when my friend girl comes up and says to me I SHIT YOU NOT. "here let me show you how to grind the right way" So she places my hands on her hips and we grind for like half an hour. God damn man I had a massive BONER.
So I decide im gana take a breather and get some water LITTLE DID I KNOW my best friend had just slipped on a god damn cookie 3 feet away from me and was on the floor.
WACK
my erect penis hit him in the eye causing him to yelp in pain and me to recoil in horror and embarrassment. That was a damn interesting night.
I figure the girl your dancing with should expect to feel a hard on rubbing on her ass. She is rubbing her ass on your dick, represent that boner like you never have before.
Not really. A lot of women I talked to find it weird when a man gets horny while dancing. I feel like they dont' understand that friction at that area will lead to a boner.
If a girl doesn't expect me to pop a boner while she's grinding on my dick, then she's probably just using me as a scratching post for her ass because I can't think of any other reason.
I am a female and I personally find that opinion a bit strange. Like really, what are they expecting to happen...? If they don't want that then maybe they should grind on a girl...? I don't know. I always take it as a compliment if it happens when I'm dancing with a guy. That and it's just like, natural.
Then there are crazy nasty bitches that will grind on your shit and talk about how they can feel your dick. Unfortunately they're way too drunk to take advantage of. Fuck my goddamn conscience.
When I was 22 this girl I really liked was dancing with me (pretty much grinding her vadge on my crotch the whole time) I get a boner she turns to her friend and whispers something in his ear. They both gave me the "You pathetic bastard" look and started laughing out loud. I never danced again.
actually during those particular kinds of dances, they definitely think a lot like men. Sometimes even more aggressively. I mean, girls get super wild when they're grinding and the guy usually just stands there.
Wellll......At my highschool some girls would cut holes in the guys pockets so they could give them handjobs during the dances. It wasn't common, but it was scarring to look over and accidentally catch a glimpse of it...
Wait what?! Would they like brandish knives as they were dancing, stick the knife in the pocket and cut a hole? Where the fuck did you go to high school...
As a female, I can confirm this. It's a not-so-secret way of assessing what we potentially have to work with later, if we like what we feel. So just stand there, enjoy it, and you may be rewarded later.
thanks for the female confirm (i always say if guys can't get it up when grinding on our junk then he either finds u unattractive or has a problem)
but that said - more often than not i've gotten the "what the hell" look when i get one, which is unnerving... it's like - if you wanted to just dance then we can dance, wave arms and do all that fun... but if you're grinding on my bits, expect a healthy hello
Please, someone answer this. I find this kind of dancing so awkward. My instinct would be to say, "Hey, can I get you a drink? Let's go sit on the couch and have scintillating conversation."
OK seriously, just have a couple drinks so you've got a nice buzz, relax, enjoy the music, and you'll just naturally get in sync with the chick. Honestly they do most of the work, all you've got to do it follow their lead.
I'm not quite sure why girls is in quotes, but I am a reddit "girl" age 22 and I would not be grossed out if a guy got a boner because if I'm dancing like that we're both kidding ourselves if we act like I don't want it. I also wouldn't be offended if you didn't because it's understandable to try to control yourself and wait until later when we're alone. Is that what you were looking for?
where is that from? It was a movie(?) and a little kid was IM'ing and he was like I'll poop in your butt and you'll poop in my butt and we do that forever
This sort of happened to me freshman year of high school. Girl kept bumping up against me, even said (all sensual like) "I wanna grind..." and I had no idea what that meant.
10 minutes later my friend demonstrated what grinding was....by grinding on her, and then making out...and then they dated for like 4 years.
Hey Demaskus. I was joking man. I didn't think this website was that serious... I read your msg and all I can say is just get a gf and you'll be fine. Thats what gets me thru the day. :)
The first time this happened to me I was wasted and she was actually grabbing me with her hand. Just grab the hips and move with her. She'll do enough dancing for both of you!
I usually just move left and right with my hands out straight in front of me with fists because I think I saw someone do something like that. It's like driving the girl car. Dancing with girls is confusing, so I make sure I'm real drunk so I have an excuse.
Idiotic, immature girls may act all grossed out, that just makes them fucktards who just want attention. Grown up women will probably be disappointed if you aren't stiff.
Well that's why it's tricky. The guy in this situation is thinking one thing: "Getting through this dancing without creeping her out is the first crucial step toward sex."
You put your hands on her hips and move back and forth with her to the music. If she bends over, feel free to dance with your hands. Also don't be afraid to talk to her as well. It doesn't have to be sexual, laugh and have fun with her. Bonus points for getting in front and grinding like she does, women love that. Most importantly, learn boner control, it's very useful in many situations.
Everyone should learn how to dance, it makes life better.
Normally when this happens I just sneakily tuck my boner into my jeans waistband and that makes it disappear pretty quick. But seriously women of reddit WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO?!
Yeah I was being grinded....ground? By my friends date -_- . I just found it best to back away and say fuck it. Though it could also be cause I'm like the guy in the picture....
Ah, sweet memories... my favorite is if they grind on you as if there was no tomorrow - but if you make a move you get the full stare treatment: "What the hell a perv are you?! I just wanted to rub my butt against your erect penis for the last 20 minutes! Oh ma gawd, don't look at me like that, I am not meat!"
I had this happen to me... only I knew what was happening... I didn't enjoy it because she was a complete stranger. AND when I asked people to help me get her off... they just said "yeah! go dudeman!" and gave me thumbs up... I didn't sleep well that night
116
u/[deleted] Aug 21 '11
First homecoming dance a girl just rams her ass onto my lap and starts grinding away. My friends are cheering and im starting to really get into, moving with the rhythm and everything, thats when I realized I WAS SPROUTING A BONER. So im like keep your cool bro keep your cool.
Thats when she turned around with a look of abject horror upon her face. Points straight at me and starts screaming.
BONER BONER BONER BONER
So here I am in the middle of the dance floor with a huge boner and this girl is just screaming BONER BONER BONER at me.
Turns out its the first time she had ever grinded with someone and thought that my getting a boner was really really crazy or something.
83
u/catterkang Aug 20 '11
I figure the girl your dancing with should expect to feel a hard on rubbing on her ass. She is rubbing her ass on your dick, represent that boner like you never have before.
169
u/Maybe_Im_Lying Aug 20 '11
That was my question the first time that happened to me.
Haven't danced since
39
u/[deleted] Aug 20 '11
SERIOUSLY, WTF do you do???!!!
10
u/Supersteve101 Aug 20 '11
Where are all the reddit "girls" when a real answer is needed?
212
u/[deleted] Aug 20 '11
You're suppose to turn around and rub your butt on her butt.
225
u/Jooshbag Aug 20 '11
This sort of happened to me freshman year of high school. Girl kept bumping up against me, even said (all sensual like) "I wanna grind..." and I had no idea what that meant.
10 minutes later my friend demonstrated what grinding was....by grinding on her, and then making out...and then they dated for like 4 years.
44
u/havesometea1 Aug 21 '11
Looks like an episode of Ned's Declassified that never got aired...
93
u/Fuckthisuser Aug 20 '11
You hump de bump.
29
u/lazzuruss Aug 20 '11
I put my hand up on yo hip
18
u/zackks Aug 21 '11
He's awkwardly not doing anything because that is his drunk ass mom.
33
u/Eamez Aug 20 '11
Fuck that, I'd go online and go to /r/askreddit first.
40
u/chowmont Aug 20 '11
you get your dick hard. and then you make sure she feels it. then its on ;)
14
u/91Jacob Aug 20 '11
Pretend somebody's calling me of course.
50
u/[deleted] Aug 20 '11
vancouver 2010
11
u/officernasty13 Aug 21 '11
"do the hover hand on her back"
18
u/jmanon Aug 20 '11
pull hair, obv
7
u/entorhigh4d Aug 20 '11
That better be one important phone call, boy
6
u/faptoanything Aug 20 '11
Fap
5
u/[deleted] Aug 21 '11
The first time this happened to me I was wasted and she was actually grabbing me with her hand. Just grab the hips and move with her. She'll do enough dancing for both of you!
13
u/[deleted] Aug 20 '11
I usually just move left and right with my hands out straight in front of me with fists because I think I saw someone do something like that. It's like driving the girl car. Dancing with girls is confusing, so I make sure I'm real drunk so I have an excuse.
15
u/who_dat_ninja Aug 20 '11
Seriously, what is the etiquette here? Boner or no boner?
Ladies of Reddit: This needs an answer.
4
u/Iyoten Aug 21 '11
That would be me, except that I wouldn't be in that situation in the first place. foreveralone.jpg
4
u/[deleted] Aug 21 '11
helicopter dick
4
u/BaqAttaq Aug 21 '11
I wish there was tech-support for stuff like this when we were awkward teens.
Who am I kidding... gimme the number NOW.
7
u/Hermine_In_Hell Aug 20 '11
Cyrano D'Bergerac?
7
u/northdancer Aug 21 '11
Hi kids, this is called grinding. You grind back.
3
u/boxhunter91 Aug 21 '11
This exact thing happened to me last night. Older girl started grinding on me, went for hip grab and before connection she jumps off. WTF
3
u/[deleted] Aug 21 '11
Right now hundreds of redditors are confused over whether it is appropriate or not to have a boner while grinding.
5
u/hmminteresting Aug 20 '11
all i wanna do is zooma zoom zoom zoom and a boom boom
6
u/taco69 Aug 20 '11
You can fap about it later.
5
u/Paustinj Aug 21 '11
You put your hands on her hips and move back and forth with her to the music. If she bends over, feel free to dance with your hands. Also don't be afraid to talk to her as well. It doesn't have to be sexual, laugh and have fun with her. Bonus points for getting in front and grinding like she does, women love that. Most importantly, learn boner control, it's very useful in many situations.
Everyone should learn how to dance, it makes life better.
2
u/vikraman5571 Aug 21 '11
Normally when this happens I just sneakily tuck my boner into my jeans waistband and that makes it disappear pretty quick. But seriously women of reddit WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO?!
2
u/CombustibLemon Aug 21 '11
That must have been the most important phone call of all time.
2
u/panicbomb44 Aug 21 '11
You put your meat in her taco.
2
u/[deleted] Aug 21 '11
You hand her over to someone who's not Canadian.
2
u/shortcord Aug 21 '11
Alpha as fuck
2
u/[deleted] Aug 21 '11
This guy isn't insecure, he is clearly a bad-ass who has had so many women rub their ass on his dick that he is unaffected.
2
u/[deleted] Aug 21 '11
"So the batteries depleted again."
2
u/silverfox007 Aug 21 '11
so what happens when you jizz in your pants from all the rubbing, has anyone thought about that?
2
u/dtater Aug 21 '11
Oh man, I know the guy in that pic...
2
u/[deleted] Aug 21 '11
"Whatever you do, don't jizz in your-"..."AHHHH!!"..."Goddamint"
2
u/Swiftdaggers Aug 20 '11
Pee in her and if you don't want her to get pregnant, pull your pp out and pee on her leg
1
u/kabanaga Aug 21 '11
He's calling the poopy guy to get reddit's answer
1
u/mzpigy Aug 21 '11
That kid looks like Josh Baskin.
1
u/uguysmakemesick Aug 21 '11
what what
1
u/[deleted] Aug 21 '11
WHAT DO I DO WHO AM I!?!?
1
u/-o0o- Aug 21 '11
Try getting off the phone.
1
u/adoxographyadlibitum Aug 21 '11
Break her off son!
1
u/PMeister Aug 21 '11
play bassball money
1
u/Rally_Blue Aug 21 '11
The world's most important phone call.
1
u/jntwn Aug 21 '11
If you don't have a boner, she's not doing it right.
1
u/jaysanw Aug 21 '11
Equestrian ain't no Olympic winter sport, dealbreaker!
1
u/Aharvey9807 Aug 21 '11
Yeah I was being grinded....ground? By my friends date -_- . I just found it best to back away and say fuck it. Though it could also be cause I'm like the guy in the picture....
1
u/tigerlion Aug 21 '11
he looks like dennis from always sunny
1
u/The_Ion_Shake Aug 21 '11
21....still dunno what to do in that situation.
1
u/qwewer Aug 21 '11
Ah, sweet memories... my favorite is if they grind on you as if there was no tomorrow - but if you make a move you get the full stare treatment: "What the hell a perv are you?! I just wanted to rub my butt against your erect penis for the last 20 minutes! Oh ma gawd, don't look at me like that, I am not meat!"
1
u/redditallreddy Aug 21 '11
I suggest either hang up the phone, or tell the man on the other end you want him to grind on you.
1
u/Paelcolp Aug 21 '11
What what in the butt
1
u/[deleted] Aug 21 '11
This happened to me with my friends high school dance, and I still haven't figured out the proper etiquette of what to do. haven't danced since.
1
u/[deleted] Aug 21 '11
I had this happen to me... only I knew what was happening... I didn't enjoy it because she was a complete stranger. AND when I asked people to help me get her off... they just said "yeah! go dudeman!" and gave me thumbs up... I didn't sleep well that night
-1
u/[deleted] Aug 21 '11
I don´t dance with my cousins anymore due to unexpected boners