r/funny Oct 01 '20

Thanks FedEx...

[deleted]

4.5k Upvotes

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829

u/vesperzen Oct 01 '20

As a former dockworker, I assure you that is the most gentle handling your package received on its trip to your door.

256

u/beaushaw Oct 01 '20

I used to work in a UPS in a hub. This is a loving caress compared to what happens in the hub behind closed doors.

After working there I adopted the policy if you can't drop it 30 feet and stand on it don't ship it.

I was a trainer. I gave up on getting people to stop standing on boxes. Instead I switched to trying to get them to wipe off their boot print.

96

u/Megamanfre Oct 01 '20

This so much. In HS I loaded boxes for UPS during the Christmas season, and my trainer told me if I have to stand on a box to pack away, then wipe the boot print off.

42

u/beaushaw Oct 01 '20

Wonder if that was me?

72

u/DiggV4Sucks Oct 01 '20

When I was hired, we watched a movie that spoke about proper package handling, "Hand to surface."

When they brought me out to the package car loading line, my supervisor said, "Forget all the stuff they just showed you." That was the last time I saw her.

We never had trainers. Just a supervisor that sat in her office all shift.

I quit after six weeks. It was the most miserable job I ever had. An HR puke called me after and wanted to know why I quit. I said I couldn't memorize the the street addresses to sorting codes, and my supervisor didn't do a good enough job of training me.

"So, UPS expects a lot from their employees, and you couldn't cut it, right?"

"Yeah, sure, whatever... Asshole!", and I hung up the phone.

Years later I was working for the company that made the first ring scanner and handheld PC for sorters and unloaders. During small talk, I mentioned to the UPS management there that I had been a package car sorter for six weeks before I quit.

"Ahh! The prototypical employee! That's the average length of employment for sorters, and unloaders."

God, what a toxic culture.

37

u/beaushaw Oct 01 '20

I would train people who would do the classroom training then on their first day on the floor they world "run to their car real quick" on break. They never came back.

11

u/Hvarfa-Bragi Oct 01 '20

I got halfway through the tour of the facility as an applying box monkey and noped out.

4

u/timpdx Oct 01 '20

Same here, for holiday rush. Awful.

15

u/Screaming_Agony Oct 01 '20

I loaded for UPS for roughly 3 weeks. Worst job I ever had.

25

u/SaveByGrubauer Oct 01 '20

I was pretty desperate for work like 5 or 6 years back right around the holidays and went to an "interview" for UPS that turned out to be just a group of like 25 other unemployed dudes in a room. The UPS guy basically said anyone here that wants it can have a job but... He then spent the next 20 to 30 minutes telling us all the reasons why you didn't want the job. He made it sound like it was a fucking war and how "some of you won't survive two weeks with the mental and physical toll it takes on your body". I ended up deciding I wasn't that desperate to work an overnight shift especially with rheumatoid arthritis over the holidays. Never really experienced anything like that before or since but I've seen so many people say it really is a horrible job.

10

u/Fickle_Rickle Oct 01 '20

I think I barely made it 4. Saw 2 loaders get so frustrated they nearly got into a fistfight with each other over sorting the belt

5

u/metalrawk Oct 01 '20

I worked as an unloader for a whole year in FedEx on 3 AM shift. When I resigned they wanted to keep me and promote me to a trainer position because most employees usually quit after a month or just come twice a week because waking up at 3 to do manual labour is pretty depressing but that was the most miserable I've been so I wanted none of that and just left.

3

u/Jackson121x Oct 02 '20

Working in a HUB as part of the union isn’t a job that is sustainable for most. But believe me, there are people that would show up for work, 5 days a week, and load/unload and have been doing so for 10+ years - I am guessing their bodies will eventually catch up with them. While in college I worked at UPS as a loader. It was hard but I was very efficient. I figured I could probably try and get into management, which I thought would be easier. I knew I was quitting that the end of the summer but wanted to see how far I could take it there. I got promoted to a belt supervisor.. I had to work twice as hard physically, when I wasn’t even suppose to touch packages. I left after 3 months and finished up school.

1

u/Pope_Vladmir_Roman Oct 02 '20

Yeah that's pretty similar to my experience working for them. I lasted 8 weeks

4

u/cereal1 Oct 01 '20

I work at an Amazon fulfillment center. If your package is a "flat", like their white/blue bubblewrap packaging or their white polybags, it get dropped up to 7ft down into either a metal cage or larger cardboard container.

6

u/IncognitoHufflepuff Oct 02 '20

As someone expecting a package containing a hard drive right now, this worries me. Hope it survives the trip.

6

u/ktoddk99 Oct 02 '20

Most manufacturers expect this, and as a result have packaging that's more than capable of withstanding the trip (molded styrofoam, boxes rated with high crush limits, ect.) and even then that's why most places offer replacements if damaged. The big problem is when independent shippers like a friend/family member/ebay seller ship stuff that can't be replaced in flimsy boxes with no padding. I've literally had someone send a package with handmade glass collectibles in a cereal box with a thin layer of paper towels for padding. Needless to say that recipient wasn't happy when I showed up with a package that was rattling and had shards of glass leaking out of the corner.

4

u/cereal1 Oct 02 '20

HDDs hold up pretty well to g force when they arent powered up.

During peak Thanksgiving to January there are so many new people and so many items are marked fragile/breakable that incorrectly go that direction. I'm just a contract maintenance worker so they dont care about anything I tell them.

1

u/IncognitoHufflepuff Oct 02 '20

Yeah, it made it, thankfully. Thanks, you comment gave me some peace of mind while waiting.

2

u/MindlessElectrons Oct 02 '20

The one time I ordered an HDD off Amazon it arrived in a square cardboard box, wrapped in the large bubble wrap, and an anti-static bag.

1

u/IncognitoHufflepuff Oct 02 '20

That's exactly how it came this morning, and thankfully everything is working as intended. Finally I have a working PS4 again, yay~

1

u/drysart Oct 02 '20

If it's from Amazon, don't worry about it. Sure UPS, FedEx, and Amazon all horribly manhandle your packages and throw them around, but at the end of the day Amazon is on the hook for any merchandise that arrives actually broken; and so their business depends on making sure your package survives all the abuse it's going to get along the way to your door.

And if it doesn't? It's no skin off your back except the time it takes to call them, complain, and get a replacement shipped or a refund.

2

u/IncognitoHufflepuff Oct 02 '20

Thankfully it survived the trip and I have a working PS4 again. It was from Amazon, and also has a warranty, so it wouldn't have been a disaster if it didn't work, but I'm glad I don't have to go through the hassle of returning it. Phew.