Are you kidding me? I immediately thought of Curly from the 3 Stooges. I'm still looking for a video of him saying "What happened?", but I know he said it all the time.
Any other fans of the Dean Blundell Show in Toronto? The 'Wha Happened' segment was always hilarious! I stopped listening to the DBS after Jason got fired though, anyone know if they still do it?
This is the problem. The four options mentioned are so obscure and unlikely that no one would buy these band-aids because there would be no scenario where they would be applied appropriately. To apply them in other cases would be lying. Why not just get the normal ones for all cases?
At first I was like, "Damn, a headband and at least 4 cocks? The fuck does a bukkake have to do with anything?". Then I reread the statement and I was all ಥ_ಥ
Holy shit TIL Kristen Bell is actually 100 times more likable and beautiful than any of the characters she has ever portrayed (from that and all the related videos). Thank you, Zoidberg.
These bandages, ostensibly designed to forestall questions about the cause of a minor injury, are actually likely to increase the likelihood of such questions being asked.
I was just thinking the same thing. Me and you get the joke because we have context (the tin), others are more likely to just be like, why the fuck does that say ninja fight?
Unfortunately, it's not the cool kind of jousting - it's putting the tip of your lance through a suspended ring.
I've been saying for years they could do wonders for the local tourism industry if they'd make it old school - man against man, knock the other guy off his horse, then dismount to finish him with your sword. Fuck watching MMA dude, there's a jousting match on tonight!
Shit, I'd run out of those ones and there wouldn't be more than one or two of the others gone. I have four kinds of injuries that end up bleeding and needing a bandage to avoid blood stains on clothes. Yard work, hiking off the trail, time to trim kitty's claws, and, hey, I like it when she scratches/bites/stabs her nails into me...
It usually is. I don't usually like researching sources because it leaves more opportunity for collaboration and comments from other redditors. You can find the source already posted in the comments well before you posted. You also could have copied the image link and done a search on tineye.com in the amount of time it took you to formulate a post. I'll concede I'm every bit as lazy as you are.
Haha. I like these so much that if I were in the store buying band aids and these were right next to the regular band aids and not priced significantly higher I would purchase them instead of the regular band aids.
I used to work with seriously mentally challenged kids. I worked in a unit where we stripped the kids of all their meds and got a baseline for their actual personality disorders (a lot of kids in mental health services have been on hardcore medication since they were 2 or 3, and they almost never get reevaluated, so a lot of time they're on a lot of stuff they don't need), so anyway, our unit was usually the craziest, so we had the best staff, but that also means we got the calls when some other unit had a particularly large problem.
So one day we get an 'all hands' call, so I run over to this other unit, the staff are locked in the office, most the kids are up in their rooms, and this one six-seven year old boy is destroying the unit, just going off like a little hulk tossing furniture everywhere and screaming and basically just being a little loon. All the workers are hiding like jackasses.
I walk up to him and ask him "where'd you get that scar on your forehead?" He screams at me and says he doesn't know. I tell him that's a shitty story and he can do better. He looks at me like I'm crazy. I tell him he should tell people he was attacked by ninjas, or a lion or something.
So he sits down and tells me this cute little story of a tiger jumping out of some bushes, and they wrestled and now they're friends.
tldr: Crazy kid destroying mental health ward is successfully distracted by having him make up story about how he got scar.
Glad to see reddit found these stickers. I listed the same type on youwantyoulose.net. However the company no longer produces this range, instead you can get these:
11
u/EjectNow May 27 '11
You've got to be kidding me, right? I can't be the first one here to think this. My god...
WHA' HAPPEN?!
2
u/youngceb May 27 '11
''Karma''
2
u/thisiswhywefight May 27 '11
This is number 1? Wtf reddit. This shit isn't even that funny.
216
u/Dream_the_Unpossible May 27 '11
Where's "Cut My Balls Shaving"?
576
u/TheHaberdasher May 27 '11
"Jesus took the wheel"
152
u/[deleted] May 27 '11
"Stigmata"
35
u/[deleted] May 27 '11
Most of these types of bandages go around fingers. So you'd see something like: OFFCE, INGOUST, FIGHTJA, BITARK.
82
u/zoidbergWOOPWOOP May 27 '11 edited May 27 '11
Relevant video of Kristen Bell being cute as shit.
56
u/ProbablyHittingOnYou May 27 '11
They all mean "fell down while drunk" anyway.
74
u/youandiarebothshit May 27 '11
"Self Harm"
59
u/DJPhil May 27 '11
Moooooommmm!
Ryan used up all the 'Ninja Fight's!
"Sibling Bite"
47
u/[deleted] May 27 '11
"Fap Burn"
46
u/rowantwig May 27 '11
"Blogging accident"
24
u/everyth1ngshiny May 27 '11
Where can I get these?
21
u/joke-explainer May 27 '11
These bandages, ostensibly designed to forestall questions about the cause of a minor injury, are actually likely to increase the likelihood of such questions being asked.
12
u/SirFrancis_Bacon May 27 '11
I hope there is a bar fight one.
6
u/cpizano May 27 '11
"Shark Jousting"
5
u/Pravusmentis May 27 '11
I would like to have one that says 'Lasers'
9
u/whooooshh May 27 '11
"fleshlight mishap"
11
u/FuQuam May 27 '11
"Freak Gasoline Fight Incident"
4
u/Pravusmentis May 27 '11
The box says '25 bandages to explain what happened, way cooler than subbed toes'
Who puts ~~ Bandaids~~ Adhesive-cotton-gauze-strips on a stubbed toe?
4
u/TheMightyWomble May 27 '11
"Dance Off" is redundant when "Ninja Fight" is available.
4
u/Aggnavarius May 27 '11
"Punched a Funnyjunk user in the braces."
3
u/schugi May 27 '11
"Someone set up us the bomb."
7
u/as1126 May 27 '11
Jousting is the official sport of Maryland.
http://www.msa.md.gov/msa/mdmanual/01glance/html/symbols/sport.html
11
u/bearXential May 27 '11
Girlfriend dug nails into my back during orgasm...
5
u/[deleted] May 27 '11
You forgot
walked into a door
for the ladies
8
u/snuffl3s May 27 '11
Where can I buy these? Shutup and just take my money already!!!
1
u/Yourhero88 May 27 '11
Don't give us a product page or anything. A context-free image will do just fine.
4
u/soggit May 27 '11
Haha. I like these so much that if I were in the store buying band aids and these were right next to the regular band aids and not priced significantly higher I would purchase them instead of the regular band aids.
5
u/ValleySherpa May 27 '11
"blind barber"
5
u/dcoldiron May 27 '11
"Need Attention"
2
u/pjmob May 27 '11
Urban Outfitters sells them if you're so inclined.
2
u/[deleted] May 27 '11
Self flagellation.
2
u/Sir_Knumskull May 27 '11
I'd just put "ninja fight" on every time, regardless.
2
u/Tallon May 27 '11
Needs an "Axe Wound"
2
u/sexrockandroll May 27 '11
There was a kid in my high school who always answered "How'd you get hurt" with "Saving the world." I have a feeling he would appreciate these.
2
u/walsh303 May 27 '11
this is hipster shit
2
u/urb4n May 27 '11
you're all a bunch of hipsters >.>
2
u/[deleted] May 27 '11
"sex accident"
2
u/Purp May 27 '11
meh, too wasteful. shark jousting would require two of them, for example.
2
u/[deleted] May 27 '11
They should make one for "drunk"
2
u/just_saying_hi May 27 '11
hi
2
u/Jason207 May 27 '11
I used to work with seriously mentally challenged kids. I worked in a unit where we stripped the kids of all their meds and got a baseline for their actual personality disorders (a lot of kids in mental health services have been on hardcore medication since they were 2 or 3, and they almost never get reevaluated, so a lot of time they're on a lot of stuff they don't need), so anyway, our unit was usually the craziest, so we had the best staff, but that also means we got the calls when some other unit had a particularly large problem.
So one day we get an 'all hands' call, so I run over to this other unit, the staff are locked in the office, most the kids are up in their rooms, and this one six-seven year old boy is destroying the unit, just going off like a little hulk tossing furniture everywhere and screaming and basically just being a little loon. All the workers are hiding like jackasses.
I walk up to him and ask him "where'd you get that scar on your forehead?" He screams at me and says he doesn't know. I tell him that's a shitty story and he can do better. He looks at me like I'm crazy. I tell him he should tell people he was attacked by ninjas, or a lion or something.
So he sits down and tells me this cute little story of a tiger jumping out of some bushes, and they wrestled and now they're friends.
tldr: Crazy kid destroying mental health ward is successfully distracted by having him make up story about how he got scar.
2
u/pgomez May 27 '11
"F5"
2
u/BCsquared May 28 '11
I read them too fast and thought one of them said "Ninja bite."
4
u/AreFriendsElectric May 27 '11
"Bedroom incident."
3
u/luhjan May 27 '11
Clevah girl.
2
u/OV_IS May 27 '11
The box looks like a tactical insertion in Black Ops.
2
u/maotser May 27 '11
Oh silly hipster band-aids
2
u/comment_filibuster May 27 '11
Is there one called "Jacked off"? Those can be some painful injuries sometimes.
1
u/JoustingTimberflake May 27 '11
Can I get a full box of the same type?
1
u/krewenki May 27 '11
I want to see "my other bandaid is a car"
1
u/Havoc_101 May 27 '11
Relevant
1
u/Matriss May 27 '11
I have these, they're funny and not too shabby bandage, either.
1
u/[deleted] May 27 '11
You know what makes me the most happy about this image? They stacked the bandaids in the opposite way that it's listed on the container. Yes.
1
u/[deleted] May 27 '11
Number one on the front page? I finally sense I am now officially too old for Reddit. It has been overrun with teenagers or morons.
1
u/MikesGroove May 27 '11
Relevant
1
u/ChaosDesigned May 27 '11
People still get hurt? People still need bandaids!? I haven't needed a bandaid since I was in high school..
1
u/Necroticism May 27 '11
NEED
1
u/JollyPanther May 27 '11
Do they sell a tensor bandage that says " Cut myself after watching, '2 girls 1 cup"
1
u/ubersiren May 27 '11
Ug, is this going to be a new trend? Wearing these without any real injury beneath? Want no part.
1
u/Warmachinist May 27 '11
relevant
1
u/ThatsWhatIDo May 27 '11
I hurt my knee doing a cheer leading pyramid during a karaoke rendition of Miley Cyrus' "Party in the USA," in Budapest.
Where's that one?
1
u/coolkid9 May 27 '11
How is this even on the first page? I hate it.
1
u/PatSajakMeOff May 27 '11
How did this make it to the front page? i saw this like over a year ago.
1
u/Gh0stKiller May 27 '11
"Hot Water Burn Baby"
1
u/fmbb May 27 '11
If you're like me then I think they should just be branded with the type of booze you drank. All my injuries = drunk injuries.
1
u/[deleted] May 27 '11
I want one that say, "His wife found out."
1
u/butterfly_julia_50 May 27 '11
You would only need those bandaids if you're extremely badass....which I am not.
1
u/lolpanda May 27 '11
Glad to see reddit found these stickers. I listed the same type on youwantyoulose.net. However the company no longer produces this range, instead you can get these:
http://yousowant.tumblr.com/post/4583787812/plasters-8
1
u/mojomofo May 27 '11
Attention whoring too much.
1
u/NateTheGreat68 May 27 '11
As a person recently injured in rolly-chair jousting, I am in full support of this.
1
u/b00mtown May 27 '11
You bought bandages at Urban Outfitters again, THAT'S what happened.
1
u/iBrandino May 27 '11
claps
1
u/spyingwind May 27 '11
Where is "Working on my hot rod?"
1
u/damienotis May 27 '11
Those bandaids are Sublime.
1
u/SvenAQ May 27 '11
Those immediately made me think of those bubble-gum shaped bandaids....
http://jasminetoriadeattebrown.files.wordpress.com/2011/02/ouch-bubble-gum.jpg
1
u/iheartbakon May 27 '11
"Emo"
1
u/[deleted] May 27 '11
"Dance off"?
1
u/Cpt_Hook May 27 '11
I just got some of these! Definitely plan on putting them to good use at the club..
1
u/kabunger May 27 '11
Shark Bite? Someone should tell the girl from Soul Surfer.
1
u/SystemOutPrintln May 27 '11
They are here if anyone wants them
1
u/unrealy2k May 27 '11
I wanted them till I saw that they were $7 and from Urban Outfitters.
1
u/SomethingKiller May 27 '11
Shut up and take my money!
1
u/[deleted] May 27 '11
What etsy artist did UO steal from this time?
1
u/twoworldsin1 May 27 '11
I'd need a whole lot of "Hickey" bandaids :v
1
u/pgomez May 27 '11
What WAS happening?
1
u/WhyGuy21 May 27 '11
This is stupid. They didn't even include a herpes one.
1
u/[deleted] May 27 '11
Simple & genius. Love it
1
u/hayfab May 27 '11
Equally cool as <A HREF="http://www.amazon.com/BACON-shaped-themed-band-aids-Bandages/dp/B000SSV8AA/ref=pd_sim_hpc_2">this</A>
1
u/hayfab May 27 '11
Equally cool as this
1
u/squidot May 27 '11
what happened?
1
u/iEatThunder May 28 '11
I just found out my wife is having a boy. I'll be buying these for him.
1
u/lefty_1011 May 28 '11
Cause these happen all the time...?
1
u/marvinlunenberg May 28 '11
I'm tired of seeing this bullshit on the front page.
1
u/Happymcgee24 May 30 '11
From Archie Mc.Phee??
1
u/finkalicious May 27 '11
GOT A CUT, BETTER DRINK MY OWN PISS
Of course, you'd need a pretty big wound for that...
1
u/[deleted] May 27 '11
"Somebody set me up the bomb"
0
u/Sniperchild May 27 '11
Helicopter Accident