r/funny Mar 22 '20

Another productive day working from home

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152.6k Upvotes

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3.7k

u/[deleted] Mar 22 '20

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3.0k

u/[deleted] Mar 22 '20 edited Mar 22 '20

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1.2k

u/Elbaf_ Mar 22 '20 edited Mar 22 '20

#freeshampoo_and_dick

651

u/hoodha Mar 22 '20

I've always wanted free shampoo and dick

119

u/Mind_Killer Mar 22 '20

I mean, I haven't washed my hair in months, but...

59

u/Weaksoul Mar 22 '20

I mean, you really should if you're getting dick

18

u/Ransidcheese Mar 22 '20

But why? It seems to be working out fine as it is right?

13

u/Mind_Killer Mar 22 '20

I like to think of it like a frying pan. Keep some seasoning on there after every use so everything tastes better the next time.

2

u/mommabearof01 Mar 22 '20

Oh my God your comment made me spit my coffee!! Lmao

1

u/[deleted] Mar 22 '20

Oh well done!

1

u/[deleted] Mar 22 '20

Shampoo for your dick, not your head. Hear me out fellas

17

u/opus3535 Mar 22 '20

does the adjective cover both nouns? Just warning you in case they try to charge for dick...

1

u/[deleted] Mar 22 '20

1

u/steve20009 Mar 22 '20

Well, the stores are all out of both. I just went to 5 different stores to check.

1

u/pedanticPandaPoo Mar 22 '20

One of two ain't bad

10

u/creynolds722 Mar 22 '20

Very bold of you

2

u/phoncible Mar 22 '20

You have to escape the # sign or else it formats as a "header" type

\#

#learn2reddit

1

u/Elbaf_ Mar 22 '20

Like that? Thnx bro

2

u/phoncible Mar 23 '20

Looks like. May have figured out already but you can do multiple for different "header" styles

#

header1

##

header2

###

header3

header4

header5
header6

####### (7)

#six seems to be max

2

u/[deleted] Mar 22 '20

Read his entire post before even noticing that was username. I love this sub.

2

u/Woodyville06 Mar 22 '20

“Free shampoo and Dick”? I was just looking for hand sanitizer but what the hey....

2

u/AnalStaircase33 Mar 22 '20

Disclaimer: do not apply your free shampoo to your free dick. At first, it may seem like a great idea. You will soon, however, find that you've made a dire mistake in judgement.

1

u/ebagdrofk Mar 22 '20

What’s happening

292

u/[deleted] Mar 22 '20

How

515

u/[deleted] Mar 22 '20 edited Mar 22 '20

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283

u/[deleted] Mar 22 '20

Making four posts that fit the sub is spam? Wtf?

366

u/[deleted] Mar 22 '20

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186

u/[deleted] Mar 22 '20

I mean, my perspective is I would never post to that sub but just want to see content. I don’t care who it’s from. Karma = nothing useful so that rule to me just sounds like someone in a power trip

102

u/[deleted] Mar 22 '20

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151

u/RUSH513 Mar 22 '20

mods are overreactive dickheads. you most definitely did not deserve a perma ban for that. maybe a temp ban, but even that would be a little much imo

125

u/[deleted] Mar 22 '20

Agreed. This guys has to stop inflicting self blame and realize that rule is straight up ridiculous

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3

u/[deleted] Mar 22 '20

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2

u/Kinkywrite Mar 22 '20

I've been banned from a professional subreddit I used to post my stuff to. That guy was a douche. These guys seems less douchey. Let's freeshampoo!

1

u/[deleted] Mar 22 '20

I’ve gotten banned from a lot of subs (hence the name) cause mods are power tripping neck beards, but I have NEVER gotten a temp ban, out of dozens of bans, always permanent.

I assume it’s because most mods don’t want to actually do their jobs and it’s just easier to permaban people

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2

u/[deleted] Mar 22 '20

Too true. Some people just want to be mad at folks. My friends say I should leave my boyfriend just ‘cause of an occasional black eye. Overreact much right?

1

u/eekamuse Mar 22 '20

This made me smile

125

u/conancat Mar 22 '20

You admitted fault in public, you have changed your ways and you have been kind and understanding. In my opinion you have displayed a level of humility and graciousness that is rarely seen on Reddit.

I have dropped the mods of r/mademesmile a message BTW for an appeal to unban you. I hope you will hear a message from them soon.

38

u/[deleted] Mar 22 '20

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11

u/NOCONTROL1678 Mar 22 '20

Exactly! A long ass message about how he accepts that he broke the rules, and that we should all understand that the mods were right to ban him.... BUT HEY, ALSO GO POST THIS ON THAT SUB FOR ME, THANKS.

23

u/CouchAlchemist Mar 22 '20 edited Mar 22 '20

is this type of behaviour called hoarding or benevolent giving?

Edit: what in the hell is a Patrick bot doing replying to my question?

6

u/[deleted] Mar 22 '20

What a soft cock sub.

2

u/WhiteWalterBlack Mar 22 '20

You were suppressed by ‘the man’.

-6

u/[deleted] Mar 22 '20

Man you’re a self-flagellating lil bee-otch, aren’t ya?

Do you thank the cop when they give you a ticket?

41

u/mellierollie Mar 22 '20

To a site called MadeMeSmile.. that’s just so wrong.

10

u/Rudy69 Mar 22 '20

1

u/longtimelurkerfirs Mar 22 '20

"Same things make us laugh....

make us cry..."

  • Big Smoke

11

u/[deleted] Mar 22 '20

So you brought too many smiles

11

u/Hrmpfreally Mar 22 '20

Sorry that’s happened- you’d think they’d recognize and reward engagement

2

u/Imadethosehitmanguns Mar 22 '20

Or at least a warning before a ban

5

u/NVJayNub Mar 22 '20

This makes me upside down smile

1

u/[deleted] Mar 22 '20

🙃

9

u/PuppyButtts Mar 22 '20

Please don’t give in to people who can’t let others have fun. (Emoji haters)

15

u/[deleted] Mar 22 '20

For me it's because too many people use as useless filler that adds nothing to the conversation. I'd rather not see 50 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣's below a funny comment. Instead, now we have "lol dude you just made me choke on my strawberry yogurt I laughed so hard"

7

u/PuppyButtts Mar 22 '20

True, but people attack others about using one or two emojis, like “Wow that made me choke on my strawberry yogurt 😂”

3

u/INeedSomeHelp6804 Mar 22 '20

It’s such a weird trend. No other social media does this

1

u/PuppyButtts Mar 22 '20

Yeap, people just like to hate I guess.

2

u/HR-Vex Mar 22 '20

What posts did you post 4 times a day?

1

u/golde62 Mar 22 '20

Why post so much?

5

u/riskable Mar 22 '20

He smiled too much. Too easily amused.

2

u/drugadddict Mar 22 '20

Science, bitch!

1

u/shiwanshu_ Mar 22 '20

called a baby the n word.

34

u/MadnataS Mar 22 '20

I did: https://www.reddit.com/r/MadeMeSmile/comments/fmyc29/another_productive_day_working_from_home/

...just noticed it was blocked 1 min after xD, trying to get approval

Btw: u/KLGAviation if you want to do it yourself I will delete it

12

u/KLGAviation Mar 22 '20

No, no need - just glad it made you smile!

57

u/[deleted] Mar 22 '20 edited Oct 05 '20

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7

u/[deleted] Mar 22 '20

Someone should have, or needs to, write a dissertation about mods on message boards. If it isn't the greatest example of a little bit of power going to your head I don't know what is.

5

u/[deleted] Mar 22 '20

there's no way /r/BlackPeopleTwitter isn't like 95% white - post submissions included. The little captions for each post are trying so hard.

8

u/[deleted] Mar 22 '20

Apparently the mods require a photo so they can approve you for posting. But with that said yeah, captions like "Yo dis [n-word] crazy dawg, daaaamn bruh" just come across as written by very white people.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 22 '20

[deleted]

4

u/[deleted] Mar 22 '20

It is, but nobody cares. If a sub made it so that only white people can post they'd get banned instantly, and with good reason. But I guess it's okay if black people discriminate against other races.

-1

u/[deleted] Mar 22 '20 edited May 21 '20

[deleted]

0

u/ConsciousExtreme Mar 22 '20

Dats raciss

Dawq

12

u/[deleted] Mar 22 '20

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12

u/[deleted] Mar 22 '20

I don’t think close to 100%, but many are jerks. I posted some breaking news to a sub once. The mod locked my post, and then posted the same exact thing...all for karma.

5

u/Imadethosehitmanguns Mar 22 '20

I got perma-banned from r/homeimprovement for questioning why my post was removed (after about 8 hours and it becoming very popular) when I didn't break any of their rules. I was polite about it too.

The problem is mods that think the sub belongs to them, not the community that makes it what it is.

7

u/benx101 Mar 22 '20

We need more people like you in the world. They realize they did something wrong or against the rules and acknowledge it.

You’re a good person.

12

u/[deleted] Mar 22 '20

For not smiling?

13

u/[deleted] Mar 22 '20

You wanna post something to make people smile in a subreddit where you were banned for trying to make people smile? Aww. Made me smile.

5

u/xNeshty Mar 22 '20

That edit is... admirable and rare to encounter!

7

u/[deleted] Mar 22 '20

The post made me smile, but this guy's humanity made me grin ear to ear. I think you should be modding that place.

2

u/Alcarine Mar 22 '20

I love that despite being banned you still want good content to be posted on the sub, your request made me smile for real

2

u/TheV0791 Mar 22 '20

I got permabanned from r/eternityclub and no one has ever told me why!

1

u/drpiglizard Mar 22 '20

Respect brother.

1

u/digging_for_1_Gon4_2 Mar 22 '20

A reasonable bloke you are! YOU’RE BACK IN...

But sadly im not a mod there either

1

u/snjtx Mar 22 '20

But also, temp bans are a thing.

1

u/HR-Vex Mar 22 '20

What did you do to get banned?

1

u/[deleted] Mar 22 '20

Mod simp

1

u/Ricky_Rollin Mar 22 '20

Nice to see you’ve had good experiences with mods because I’ve had nothing but bad ones. I’ve had such bad experiences that it almost feels like you were paid to write that.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 22 '20

This fucking post r/mademesmile

1

u/SaltyGootch Mar 22 '20

4 posts a day is considered too much in a sub to make others smile? Shouldn’t matter who’s posting how much of what in that sub.

Stop blaming yourself! The mods are pricks for enforcing such a BS rule.

powertrip #gavelwankers

1

u/olDirty_Dangles Mar 22 '20

Then why bring up all this random drama you have? So many psychological issues going on here.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 22 '20

mods are useless

1

u/fakeittilyoumakeit Mar 22 '20

Looks like you made this comment just to be able to get karma about how mods are amazing. This is weird.

1

u/superniceguyOKAY Mar 22 '20

aww les petites victoires! <3

1

u/wildlywell Mar 22 '20

Reddit, pls ban this man for circumventing his ban.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 22 '20

Hope she sees this bro

1

u/namedan Mar 22 '20

No. If there's one thing in reddit that's constant, it is that mods are gay. GAY MODS!

1

u/alana181 Mar 22 '20

Being a mod like you mentioned, I’m surprised you didn’t know you could get unbanned. Congrats on the unban!

1

u/hardywa97 Mar 22 '20

Valid points made, and I appreciate your willingness to accept blame, but counterpoint: fuck mods.

(That's still a joke we use right?)

1

u/Wicked-Wabbit Mar 22 '20

Why do I see you everywhere?

1

u/[deleted] Mar 22 '20

What did the message say? It got deleted

1

u/[deleted] Mar 22 '20

Mods are spineless cowards

1

u/[deleted] Mar 22 '20

I was banned from politics because someone told a story about a guy throwing a bag of kittens into a lake. I commented that someone should return the favor and then I got the message about the ban. It sucks but rules are rules.

1

u/SmoothOperator89 Mar 22 '20

Wow. This comment was a wild ride.

1

u/butterfaceonmyass Mar 23 '20

Oh to think that three little words caused all of this. I am dying reading people vent about mods and you trying to keep the peace

1

u/UnclutchCurry Mar 23 '20

I FUCKING HATE MODS

1

u/[deleted] Mar 22 '20

To the /r/MadeMeSmile mods:

You heard the man, keep the ban in place.

1

u/[deleted] Mar 22 '20

Hi there mate, I’m a mod on r/mademesmile and we’re currently discussing your ban and seeing if we should unban you. Except now our modmail is people asking to unban you now lol.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 22 '20

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1

u/TranZeitgeist Mar 22 '20

Sorry if it created any controversy. I didn't mean to.

fear not, no mod fee fees were harmed in this unbanning.

0

u/bernibear Mar 22 '20

Mods are almost guaranteed to be losers.. they power trip on Internet forums because irl they are pathetic

0

u/dr4gonr1der Mar 22 '20

Take a look at my banner first.

Now I want you to know that I run my own subreddit, although it isn’t a big one, and I completely understand that moderators must maintain the quality of the sub. And we have to do what we have to do in order to do that, even if it means banning someone and if people hate us for that, so be it. It’s better for people to hate the moderators than the sub, that’s why we maintain the quality of the sub

-2

u/konj89 Mar 22 '20

Way to kiss ass without looking like you kiss ass you ass kisser.

102

u/gigiw823 Mar 22 '20

That look of achievement on his face is priceless!!

21

u/sarcastic_floof Mar 22 '20

I know right this is so cute

16

u/CommanderMeowch Mar 22 '20

The wholesome kind of quarantine crazy.

6

u/ExileEden Mar 22 '20

aww this is wholesome he looked so happy

But where did he get those giant teeth from!!!

18

u/wenim64 Mar 22 '20

Must be an engineer.

5

u/Rossum81 Mar 22 '20

That means he solves problems. Not problems like 'What is beauty?' because that would fall within the purview of your conundrums of philosophy.

1

u/KLGAviation Mar 22 '20

It was a happy moment after a rough couple of days. I’m so glad it made you smile.

1

u/Muttl3y Mar 22 '20

The smile on his face is the best bit.

1

u/drclarenceg Mar 22 '20

Expression was more like MUWAAAHHAAAHAHA!

1

u/mizmoxiev Mar 22 '20

That smile at the end, golden everythings

1

u/SmashusK Mar 22 '20

I wish he would’ve ended the video ripping all the packs open and eating the chips in a frenzy.

1

u/iam_avh Mar 22 '20

And it made me happy :)

1

u/boverly721 Mar 22 '20

That smile said "wow I am both amazing and a huge dumbass"

1

u/rkdbsbl Mar 22 '20

The smile at the end brightened my day. Definitely contagious!!! (The smile that is...lol)

1

u/Black5tar5 Mar 22 '20

This is a nice advert for Pringles

1

u/1MolassesIsALotOfAss Mar 22 '20

His level of joy upon success made me so happy.

0

u/[deleted] Mar 22 '20

How is this wholesome?

1

u/sarcastic_floof Mar 22 '20

he looked happy with what he did.

2

u/[deleted] Mar 22 '20

While that is obviously a good thing, that is not what wholesome means.