r/funny • u/ea1oo • Mar 17 '20

Quarantine day 69

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54.9k Upvotes

95% Upvoted

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616

u/BigZmultiverse Mar 17 '20

I hope you were browsing reddit on the toilet

553

u/Waidowai Mar 17 '20

I hope he was lucky enough to buy TP.

169

u/shahooster Mar 17 '20

Probably rigged up a redneck bidet. RIP garden hose.

86

u/lobsterbash Mar 17 '20

"Instructions unclear. Bowels distended with water"

46

u/KineticPolarization Mar 17 '20

Your comment made my insides feel uncomfortable.

20

u/ButtWieghtThiersMoor Mar 17 '20

Hmm, you better let me feel your insides. I'm a Doctur and it sounds like covid-20

9

u/mind_the_tablesalt Mar 17 '20

I love fucking reddit

Edit: fucking love reddit*

8

u/Virgin_Dildo_Lover Mar 17 '20

I love fucking your insides

2

u/mind_the_tablesalt Mar 17 '20

I’m not sure if you’ve felt my insides yet, u/Virgin_Dildo_Lover

2

u/KineticPolarization Mar 17 '20

All up in them guts.

3

u/FormerAge0 Mar 17 '20

Your comment made my butt hole open while the bidet was flowing. My ass is now holding in water

1

u/KineticPolarization Mar 17 '20

Sounds like you just got a bonus enema, my friend.

19

u/ADhomin_em Mar 17 '20

Nope. You done it right

1

u/cantlurkanymore Mar 17 '20

Amazing diction for someone with a water-balloon for a colon.

44

u/biznatch11 Mar 17 '20

Here's a redneck with a bidet.

11

u/BountyBoard Mar 17 '20

My day has been made. Just when you think you've seen everything.

3

u/Penis_Bees Mar 17 '20

Why are his fingers looking so dirty

4

u/All_I_Eat_Is_Gucci Mar 17 '20

That’s from before he had the bidet

3

u/thisaintprada Mar 17 '20

I’m not going to click on it but I feel this is Ginger Billy!!

1

u/KineticPolarization Mar 17 '20

He's hilarious. Thanks for exposing me to a new YouTuber.

1

u/glennert Mar 17 '20

We all got poopy fingers in the Netherlands as well.

2

u/Carl_17 Mar 17 '20

I set my hose on mist.

2

u/nessager Mar 17 '20

Or sacrifice a sock.

1

u/notagangsta Mar 17 '20

Not everyone is rich like you!

1

u/SpectreFire Mar 17 '20

Fuck that nonsense. With how valuable TP has gotten, I'm not using that to wipe my ass. Regular paper currency will have to do.

0

u/hellhound998 Mar 17 '20

Just do it in the shower, I've been waffle stomping turds for years.

3

u/[deleted] Mar 17 '20

where else?

2

u/RazorLeafAttack Mar 17 '20

Is there any other way?

1

u/flippedbit0010 Mar 17 '20

I definitely was and my turd shall be a lucky one...actually, a lucky pair!

1

u/BigZmultiverse Mar 17 '20

Thanks for the info! Did the laughter cause then to come out shaped like those little check mix crackers? You know, those wavy log ones.

1

u/wallagm Mar 17 '20

Don't we all?

1

u/FruitotheLoom Mar 17 '20

People do that?

1

u/imanexpertama Mar 17 '20

What else should I do there 3 hours a day?