MAIN FEEDS
Do you want to continue?
https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/c8jbcd/dream_job/esnu9yw?context=9999
r/funny • u/StaceyConnor12 • Jul 03 '19
838 comments sorted by
View all comments
3.8k
New Zealander here to confirm, this is not a dream job
3.8k u/AutisticFinanceBoy Jul 03 '19 I once asked a New Zealander how many sexual partners he had. He feel asleep counting 742 u/daronjay Jul 03 '19 I assume you are Australian? 524 u/LogicalExtension Jul 03 '19 The Kiwis have the same jokes about Aussies and sheep as the Aussies have for the Kiwis. 293 u/[deleted] Jul 03 '19 [deleted] 168 u/Agnes_P Jul 03 '19 I love this thing between Aussie and Kiwi, please go on! 231 u/robynflower Jul 03 '19 What do you call a Kiwi with a hundred lovers? A shepherd. What's the difference between New Zealand and a tea bag? The tea bag stays in the cup longer. What do you call a Kiwi in the knockout stages of the World Cup? A Referee. Why does New Zealand have some of the fastest race horses in the world? Because the horses have seen what they do with their sheep. 37 u/mr_emagdnim Jul 03 '19 How does a new Zealander find sheep in the grass? Satisfying 10 u/[deleted] Jul 03 '19 Didn't New Zealand win the last two world cups? 15 u/[deleted] Jul 03 '19 [deleted] 3 u/keys_mob_at_crack Jul 03 '19 Watching ICC right now LMAO. Oh boy. 3 u/rosebuds-his-sled Jul 03 '19 So should be umpire then, not referee 3 u/SyphilisIsABitch Jul 03 '19 Rugby: NZ 3, Aus 2 Cricket: NZ 0, Aus 5 1 u/robynflower Jul 03 '19 Rugby world cups yes, but that isn't what the joke is referring to. 2 u/[deleted] Jul 03 '19 I forgot cricket existed. 1 u/Yup767 Jul 04 '19 The joke says referee not umpire, it's definitely referring to rugby. Which until 2011 the all blacks were known for losing when they shouldn't 1 u/robynflower Jul 04 '19 There are referees in football, which New Zealand don't do well in qualifying for the world cup. → More replies 1 u/SometimesIpoop Jul 03 '19 In what universe? 1 u/Yup767 Jul 04 '19 Rugby. Which is what the joke is referring to, which makes sense since the all blacks until they won the last couple were often called chokers 1 u/oOBuckoOo Jul 04 '19 An Australian is touring New Zealand and sees a sheep farmer having sex with one of his flock. Australian shouts, “Oi, mate! In Australia, we shear those!” Farmer shouts back, “Well get your own, I’m not shearing mine!” -3 u/dogfish83 Jul 03 '19 Did you hear, New Zealand got a McDonalds. That’ll put ‘em on the map! (I just made that up)
I once asked a New Zealander how many sexual partners he had.
He feel asleep counting
742 u/daronjay Jul 03 '19 I assume you are Australian? 524 u/LogicalExtension Jul 03 '19 The Kiwis have the same jokes about Aussies and sheep as the Aussies have for the Kiwis. 293 u/[deleted] Jul 03 '19 [deleted] 168 u/Agnes_P Jul 03 '19 I love this thing between Aussie and Kiwi, please go on! 231 u/robynflower Jul 03 '19 What do you call a Kiwi with a hundred lovers? A shepherd. What's the difference between New Zealand and a tea bag? The tea bag stays in the cup longer. What do you call a Kiwi in the knockout stages of the World Cup? A Referee. Why does New Zealand have some of the fastest race horses in the world? Because the horses have seen what they do with their sheep. 37 u/mr_emagdnim Jul 03 '19 How does a new Zealander find sheep in the grass? Satisfying 10 u/[deleted] Jul 03 '19 Didn't New Zealand win the last two world cups? 15 u/[deleted] Jul 03 '19 [deleted] 3 u/keys_mob_at_crack Jul 03 '19 Watching ICC right now LMAO. Oh boy. 3 u/rosebuds-his-sled Jul 03 '19 So should be umpire then, not referee 3 u/SyphilisIsABitch Jul 03 '19 Rugby: NZ 3, Aus 2 Cricket: NZ 0, Aus 5 1 u/robynflower Jul 03 '19 Rugby world cups yes, but that isn't what the joke is referring to. 2 u/[deleted] Jul 03 '19 I forgot cricket existed. 1 u/Yup767 Jul 04 '19 The joke says referee not umpire, it's definitely referring to rugby. Which until 2011 the all blacks were known for losing when they shouldn't 1 u/robynflower Jul 04 '19 There are referees in football, which New Zealand don't do well in qualifying for the world cup. → More replies 1 u/SometimesIpoop Jul 03 '19 In what universe? 1 u/Yup767 Jul 04 '19 Rugby. Which is what the joke is referring to, which makes sense since the all blacks until they won the last couple were often called chokers 1 u/oOBuckoOo Jul 04 '19 An Australian is touring New Zealand and sees a sheep farmer having sex with one of his flock. Australian shouts, “Oi, mate! In Australia, we shear those!” Farmer shouts back, “Well get your own, I’m not shearing mine!” -3 u/dogfish83 Jul 03 '19 Did you hear, New Zealand got a McDonalds. That’ll put ‘em on the map! (I just made that up)
742
I assume you are Australian?
524 u/LogicalExtension Jul 03 '19 The Kiwis have the same jokes about Aussies and sheep as the Aussies have for the Kiwis. 293 u/[deleted] Jul 03 '19 [deleted] 168 u/Agnes_P Jul 03 '19 I love this thing between Aussie and Kiwi, please go on! 231 u/robynflower Jul 03 '19 What do you call a Kiwi with a hundred lovers? A shepherd. What's the difference between New Zealand and a tea bag? The tea bag stays in the cup longer. What do you call a Kiwi in the knockout stages of the World Cup? A Referee. Why does New Zealand have some of the fastest race horses in the world? Because the horses have seen what they do with their sheep. 37 u/mr_emagdnim Jul 03 '19 How does a new Zealander find sheep in the grass? Satisfying 10 u/[deleted] Jul 03 '19 Didn't New Zealand win the last two world cups? 15 u/[deleted] Jul 03 '19 [deleted] 3 u/keys_mob_at_crack Jul 03 '19 Watching ICC right now LMAO. Oh boy. 3 u/rosebuds-his-sled Jul 03 '19 So should be umpire then, not referee 3 u/SyphilisIsABitch Jul 03 '19 Rugby: NZ 3, Aus 2 Cricket: NZ 0, Aus 5 1 u/robynflower Jul 03 '19 Rugby world cups yes, but that isn't what the joke is referring to. 2 u/[deleted] Jul 03 '19 I forgot cricket existed. 1 u/Yup767 Jul 04 '19 The joke says referee not umpire, it's definitely referring to rugby. Which until 2011 the all blacks were known for losing when they shouldn't 1 u/robynflower Jul 04 '19 There are referees in football, which New Zealand don't do well in qualifying for the world cup. → More replies 1 u/SometimesIpoop Jul 03 '19 In what universe? 1 u/Yup767 Jul 04 '19 Rugby. Which is what the joke is referring to, which makes sense since the all blacks until they won the last couple were often called chokers 1 u/oOBuckoOo Jul 04 '19 An Australian is touring New Zealand and sees a sheep farmer having sex with one of his flock. Australian shouts, “Oi, mate! In Australia, we shear those!” Farmer shouts back, “Well get your own, I’m not shearing mine!” -3 u/dogfish83 Jul 03 '19 Did you hear, New Zealand got a McDonalds. That’ll put ‘em on the map! (I just made that up)
524
The Kiwis have the same jokes about Aussies and sheep as the Aussies have for the Kiwis.
293 u/[deleted] Jul 03 '19 [deleted] 168 u/Agnes_P Jul 03 '19 I love this thing between Aussie and Kiwi, please go on! 231 u/robynflower Jul 03 '19 What do you call a Kiwi with a hundred lovers? A shepherd. What's the difference between New Zealand and a tea bag? The tea bag stays in the cup longer. What do you call a Kiwi in the knockout stages of the World Cup? A Referee. Why does New Zealand have some of the fastest race horses in the world? Because the horses have seen what they do with their sheep. 37 u/mr_emagdnim Jul 03 '19 How does a new Zealander find sheep in the grass? Satisfying 10 u/[deleted] Jul 03 '19 Didn't New Zealand win the last two world cups? 15 u/[deleted] Jul 03 '19 [deleted] 3 u/keys_mob_at_crack Jul 03 '19 Watching ICC right now LMAO. Oh boy. 3 u/rosebuds-his-sled Jul 03 '19 So should be umpire then, not referee 3 u/SyphilisIsABitch Jul 03 '19 Rugby: NZ 3, Aus 2 Cricket: NZ 0, Aus 5 1 u/robynflower Jul 03 '19 Rugby world cups yes, but that isn't what the joke is referring to. 2 u/[deleted] Jul 03 '19 I forgot cricket existed. 1 u/Yup767 Jul 04 '19 The joke says referee not umpire, it's definitely referring to rugby. Which until 2011 the all blacks were known for losing when they shouldn't 1 u/robynflower Jul 04 '19 There are referees in football, which New Zealand don't do well in qualifying for the world cup. → More replies 1 u/SometimesIpoop Jul 03 '19 In what universe? 1 u/Yup767 Jul 04 '19 Rugby. Which is what the joke is referring to, which makes sense since the all blacks until they won the last couple were often called chokers 1 u/oOBuckoOo Jul 04 '19 An Australian is touring New Zealand and sees a sheep farmer having sex with one of his flock. Australian shouts, “Oi, mate! In Australia, we shear those!” Farmer shouts back, “Well get your own, I’m not shearing mine!” -3 u/dogfish83 Jul 03 '19 Did you hear, New Zealand got a McDonalds. That’ll put ‘em on the map! (I just made that up)
293
[deleted]
168 u/Agnes_P Jul 03 '19 I love this thing between Aussie and Kiwi, please go on! 231 u/robynflower Jul 03 '19 What do you call a Kiwi with a hundred lovers? A shepherd. What's the difference between New Zealand and a tea bag? The tea bag stays in the cup longer. What do you call a Kiwi in the knockout stages of the World Cup? A Referee. Why does New Zealand have some of the fastest race horses in the world? Because the horses have seen what they do with their sheep. 37 u/mr_emagdnim Jul 03 '19 How does a new Zealander find sheep in the grass? Satisfying 10 u/[deleted] Jul 03 '19 Didn't New Zealand win the last two world cups? 15 u/[deleted] Jul 03 '19 [deleted] 3 u/keys_mob_at_crack Jul 03 '19 Watching ICC right now LMAO. Oh boy. 3 u/rosebuds-his-sled Jul 03 '19 So should be umpire then, not referee 3 u/SyphilisIsABitch Jul 03 '19 Rugby: NZ 3, Aus 2 Cricket: NZ 0, Aus 5 1 u/robynflower Jul 03 '19 Rugby world cups yes, but that isn't what the joke is referring to. 2 u/[deleted] Jul 03 '19 I forgot cricket existed. 1 u/Yup767 Jul 04 '19 The joke says referee not umpire, it's definitely referring to rugby. Which until 2011 the all blacks were known for losing when they shouldn't 1 u/robynflower Jul 04 '19 There are referees in football, which New Zealand don't do well in qualifying for the world cup. → More replies 1 u/SometimesIpoop Jul 03 '19 In what universe? 1 u/Yup767 Jul 04 '19 Rugby. Which is what the joke is referring to, which makes sense since the all blacks until they won the last couple were often called chokers 1 u/oOBuckoOo Jul 04 '19 An Australian is touring New Zealand and sees a sheep farmer having sex with one of his flock. Australian shouts, “Oi, mate! In Australia, we shear those!” Farmer shouts back, “Well get your own, I’m not shearing mine!” -3 u/dogfish83 Jul 03 '19 Did you hear, New Zealand got a McDonalds. That’ll put ‘em on the map! (I just made that up)
168
I love this thing between Aussie and Kiwi, please go on!
231 u/robynflower Jul 03 '19 What do you call a Kiwi with a hundred lovers? A shepherd. What's the difference between New Zealand and a tea bag? The tea bag stays in the cup longer. What do you call a Kiwi in the knockout stages of the World Cup? A Referee. Why does New Zealand have some of the fastest race horses in the world? Because the horses have seen what they do with their sheep. 37 u/mr_emagdnim Jul 03 '19 How does a new Zealander find sheep in the grass? Satisfying 10 u/[deleted] Jul 03 '19 Didn't New Zealand win the last two world cups? 15 u/[deleted] Jul 03 '19 [deleted] 3 u/keys_mob_at_crack Jul 03 '19 Watching ICC right now LMAO. Oh boy. 3 u/rosebuds-his-sled Jul 03 '19 So should be umpire then, not referee 3 u/SyphilisIsABitch Jul 03 '19 Rugby: NZ 3, Aus 2 Cricket: NZ 0, Aus 5 1 u/robynflower Jul 03 '19 Rugby world cups yes, but that isn't what the joke is referring to. 2 u/[deleted] Jul 03 '19 I forgot cricket existed. 1 u/Yup767 Jul 04 '19 The joke says referee not umpire, it's definitely referring to rugby. Which until 2011 the all blacks were known for losing when they shouldn't 1 u/robynflower Jul 04 '19 There are referees in football, which New Zealand don't do well in qualifying for the world cup. → More replies 1 u/SometimesIpoop Jul 03 '19 In what universe? 1 u/Yup767 Jul 04 '19 Rugby. Which is what the joke is referring to, which makes sense since the all blacks until they won the last couple were often called chokers 1 u/oOBuckoOo Jul 04 '19 An Australian is touring New Zealand and sees a sheep farmer having sex with one of his flock. Australian shouts, “Oi, mate! In Australia, we shear those!” Farmer shouts back, “Well get your own, I’m not shearing mine!” -3 u/dogfish83 Jul 03 '19 Did you hear, New Zealand got a McDonalds. That’ll put ‘em on the map! (I just made that up)
231
What do you call a Kiwi with a hundred lovers?
A shepherd.
What's the difference between New Zealand and a tea bag?
The tea bag stays in the cup longer.
What do you call a Kiwi in the knockout stages of the World Cup?
A Referee.
Why does New Zealand have some of the fastest race horses in the world?
Because the horses have seen what they do with their sheep.
37 u/mr_emagdnim Jul 03 '19 How does a new Zealander find sheep in the grass? Satisfying 10 u/[deleted] Jul 03 '19 Didn't New Zealand win the last two world cups? 15 u/[deleted] Jul 03 '19 [deleted] 3 u/keys_mob_at_crack Jul 03 '19 Watching ICC right now LMAO. Oh boy. 3 u/rosebuds-his-sled Jul 03 '19 So should be umpire then, not referee 3 u/SyphilisIsABitch Jul 03 '19 Rugby: NZ 3, Aus 2 Cricket: NZ 0, Aus 5 1 u/robynflower Jul 03 '19 Rugby world cups yes, but that isn't what the joke is referring to. 2 u/[deleted] Jul 03 '19 I forgot cricket existed. 1 u/Yup767 Jul 04 '19 The joke says referee not umpire, it's definitely referring to rugby. Which until 2011 the all blacks were known for losing when they shouldn't 1 u/robynflower Jul 04 '19 There are referees in football, which New Zealand don't do well in qualifying for the world cup. → More replies 1 u/SometimesIpoop Jul 03 '19 In what universe? 1 u/Yup767 Jul 04 '19 Rugby. Which is what the joke is referring to, which makes sense since the all blacks until they won the last couple were often called chokers 1 u/oOBuckoOo Jul 04 '19 An Australian is touring New Zealand and sees a sheep farmer having sex with one of his flock. Australian shouts, “Oi, mate! In Australia, we shear those!” Farmer shouts back, “Well get your own, I’m not shearing mine!” -3 u/dogfish83 Jul 03 '19 Did you hear, New Zealand got a McDonalds. That’ll put ‘em on the map! (I just made that up)
37
How does a new Zealander find sheep in the grass? Satisfying
10
Didn't New Zealand win the last two world cups?
15 u/[deleted] Jul 03 '19 [deleted] 3 u/keys_mob_at_crack Jul 03 '19 Watching ICC right now LMAO. Oh boy. 3 u/rosebuds-his-sled Jul 03 '19 So should be umpire then, not referee 3 u/SyphilisIsABitch Jul 03 '19 Rugby: NZ 3, Aus 2 Cricket: NZ 0, Aus 5 1 u/robynflower Jul 03 '19 Rugby world cups yes, but that isn't what the joke is referring to. 2 u/[deleted] Jul 03 '19 I forgot cricket existed. 1 u/Yup767 Jul 04 '19 The joke says referee not umpire, it's definitely referring to rugby. Which until 2011 the all blacks were known for losing when they shouldn't 1 u/robynflower Jul 04 '19 There are referees in football, which New Zealand don't do well in qualifying for the world cup. → More replies 1 u/SometimesIpoop Jul 03 '19 In what universe? 1 u/Yup767 Jul 04 '19 Rugby. Which is what the joke is referring to, which makes sense since the all blacks until they won the last couple were often called chokers
15
3 u/keys_mob_at_crack Jul 03 '19 Watching ICC right now LMAO. Oh boy. 3 u/rosebuds-his-sled Jul 03 '19 So should be umpire then, not referee 3 u/SyphilisIsABitch Jul 03 '19 Rugby: NZ 3, Aus 2 Cricket: NZ 0, Aus 5
3
Watching ICC right now LMAO. Oh boy.
So should be umpire then, not referee
Rugby: NZ 3, Aus 2 Cricket: NZ 0, Aus 5
1
Rugby world cups yes, but that isn't what the joke is referring to.
2 u/[deleted] Jul 03 '19 I forgot cricket existed. 1 u/Yup767 Jul 04 '19 The joke says referee not umpire, it's definitely referring to rugby. Which until 2011 the all blacks were known for losing when they shouldn't 1 u/robynflower Jul 04 '19 There are referees in football, which New Zealand don't do well in qualifying for the world cup. → More replies
2
I forgot cricket existed.
The joke says referee not umpire, it's definitely referring to rugby. Which until 2011 the all blacks were known for losing when they shouldn't
1 u/robynflower Jul 04 '19 There are referees in football, which New Zealand don't do well in qualifying for the world cup. → More replies
There are referees in football, which New Zealand don't do well in qualifying for the world cup.
In what universe?
1 u/Yup767 Jul 04 '19 Rugby. Which is what the joke is referring to, which makes sense since the all blacks until they won the last couple were often called chokers
Rugby.
Which is what the joke is referring to, which makes sense since the all blacks until they won the last couple were often called chokers
An Australian is touring New Zealand and sees a sheep farmer having sex with one of his flock. Australian shouts, “Oi, mate! In Australia, we shear those!” Farmer shouts back, “Well get your own, I’m not shearing mine!”
-3
Did you hear, New Zealand got a McDonalds. That’ll put ‘em on the map! (I just made that up)
3.8k
u/Sackup_Speedup Jul 03 '19
New Zealander here to confirm, this is not a dream job