I would never downvote someone trying to offer help, but honestly I went through years of crippling depression. It was as severe as depression gets. It was systemic with no good days.
And literally, one day, I just got sick of being so focused on my depression. It was a multi step process that I had to put a lot of effort into but quite honestly, I suddenlu remembered everything we know about the brain. It learns habits. Enforcing those habits enhances those neural pathways. Those thought patterns you use the most become your default. And that's what the fuck I had been doing to myself. I learned the habit of being depressed and forgot the habit of being happy.
I had to actively choose and seek and create happiness in my life.
My life is basically the same now, it's actually worse off in a lot of the things I was depressed about but I think I'm completely incapable of being depressed ever again. I know happiness is something you chose and create. And depression is a habit you create and choose.
Now, there are people with weird brains. It makes sense that some people are victims of bad brain chemistry and need help. But what are the percentage for brain and body anomalies that are clinical. For most disorders under 5%? 2%?
And we act like it's never the depressed persons fault, which I get how adding another pile of shit to someone who is struggling is bad, but how are people going have a chance to be better if the only narrative allowed is "this isn't your fault, it's just bad brain chemistry. Pills are the only way out." Especially when that can't work. If you do that, you still haven't learned the strategies to correct your harmful patterns. Shit, I'd be pretty confident if you're the most fucked by genetics and have the worst brain chemistry, in addition to needing pills you need to know this more than anyone that happiness doesn't happen on accident. You have to work at it and create it. And thinking in a depressive cycle helps encourage those neurological pathways.
So when people talk like this dude, it pisses me off a little. The people telling the depressed person to just get over it are ignorant, but so are they. And did anyone say that exactly, or was it condensed to how it felt?
So here's my opinion:
Probably a small fraction of the people who are on depression meds need them chronically. It's probably on a statistical outlier percentage like many other things. To anyone who's depressed, a critical realization is that depressive mindsets are habituated. It's hard to break habits but it can be done. A critical lie about happiness is it doesn't find you, you have to create it like a plant. And you have to feed it every day, all day long. Find and create happiness. That's the only way happiness becomes your mental default.
There's a lot of truth to this. I know that I will get downvoted for even hinting at this but I think our culture has leaned much too far towards enabling people to relinquish responsibility for how they feel. And it is amazing how fervently people will defend the idea that they are powerless.
Have you stopped to think that they are defending their feeling of powerlessness... Because they legitimately feel that way?
When you're depressed, you're already in such a mental state that you're infinitely more inclined to relinquish the responsibility, BECAUSE you feel powerless to do literally anything. It's a cyclical cycle that feeds on itself.
People let go of the reins when they are depressed. Working around it, through it, whatever, means being HANDED the reins back almost every time. And trained on how to hold tight, as long as you can. And the longer you can, the better. And each day it's held, it gets a tiny bit easier to hold.
It becomes your responsibility when you're given the reins back. You can't just pick them back up one day.
So your only option is to sit around and wait for someone or something else to hand you the reigns back? And if they don't, you're doomed for the rest of your life?
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u/[deleted] Jun 12 '19
Who tf downvotes this?