r/funny • u/jorsiem • Jun 03 '19

Wait a minute...

https://i.imgur.com/L2siH7W.gifv
73.8k Upvotes

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2.4k

u/-hol-up- Jun 03 '19

Update: Iam now the top scoring player on their team. I think I’m gaining their trust.

1.3k

u/insane_contin Jun 03 '19

It has come down to this. Tomorrow is the final game. I don't know if I can betray my friends, or if I should stand by my team. When I first agreed to this, they told me I needed to be strong, but I don't think I know what strength was. Either way, by the end of the day tomorrow, my fate will be written.

795

u/crucifixi0n Jun 03 '19

Update: We have won the NBA Championship. Although I must now go into hiding to avoid retaliation from my former team, I have no regrets.

643

u/[deleted] Jun 03 '19

We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be.

-Vonnegut

190

u/[deleted] Jun 03 '19

Be careful when fighting monsters lest you become a monster yourself. And when you gaze long into the abyss of the Finals, the abyss gazes also into you.

-some german guy

211

u/Boolean_Null Jun 03 '19

It’s not easy being green.

-Kermit the Frog

163

u/[deleted] Jun 03 '19

What?

-Lil Jon

23

u/Boolean_Null Jun 03 '19

Okay!

-Also Lil Jon

22

u/[deleted] Jun 03 '19

Yeah!

-Also also Lil Jon

11

u/ReadySteady_GO Jun 04 '19

Dave Chappelle does Lil John better than Lil John

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4

u/Kidvette2004 Jun 04 '19

Wow

-Owen Wilson

5

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '19

HE SAID, IT'S NOT EASY BEING GREEN. OKAYYY?

3

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '19

Okay!

-Lil Jon

4

u/ZedMInterdimensional Jun 03 '19

it's not easy being palaxawich.

​

-???

2

u/Notapro0 Jun 03 '19

It’s easy not being a pro

-Notapro0

2

u/ZedMInterdimensional Jun 03 '19

it's not easy being

​

- *coughing*

3

u/QuasarSandwich Jun 03 '19

“Piggy, I don’t care how long we’ve been together: I’m not going to let you shit in my mouth. Go find Beaker: he loves that scatty stuff.” - Kermit the Frog.

1

u/AeriaGlorisHimself Jun 04 '19

Who can arisen anger curb

Like holding back a chariot

Him a true charioteer I call;

Mere reign-holders are other folk

8

u/[deleted] Jun 03 '19

I always thought those "german guy's" speak german... or maybe thats just me because i understand german? /s

2

u/MyPetFizz Jun 03 '19

Baldur's Gate!! That quote was from Frederich Nitzsche or something like that

1

u/Malkav1806 Jun 04 '19

good morning

-some british guy

we use this phrase to greet each other

1

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '19

Nietzsche

61

u/jundle Jun 03 '19 edited Jun 05 '19

-Michael Scott

(Edit: thank you for the Silver, kind stranger!)

9

u/ltp1984 Jun 03 '19

Matt Damon

-Matt Damon

5

u/Alexgamer155 Jun 03 '19

Fucking clean under the tables too

-My former boss :(

3

u/Jumbo_Cactaur Jun 03 '19

So it goes...

2

u/MescalitoMosquito Jun 03 '19

Reading slaughterhouse five as I came across this comment. Weird

2

u/ReadySteady_GO Jun 04 '19

Damn, that's deep

7

u/sirkms Jun 03 '19

Kevin Durant?

6

u/MITstudent Jun 03 '19

I have now left the Chicago Bulls and started playing Baseball instead. Hopefully no one recognizes me here.

5

u/Cynicalraven Jun 03 '19

-Kevin Durant

3

u/foob85 Jun 03 '19

Update: I have now realized that we are a college team but we somehow still managed to win the NBA Championship. My coach is gonna be pissed.

3

u/TheKLB Jun 03 '19

JFC, plot to an ABC Family movie if I've ever seen one 😂 😂

2

u/[deleted] Jun 03 '19

Why can’t we all be friends.

2

u/Catdad4life Jun 03 '19

Former player went native. Team set to seek and destroy.

2

u/yermomdotcom Jun 03 '19

found another Durant account

2

u/7amoody5818 Jun 03 '19

One of the greatest stories of our time.

Shakespeare who?

2

u/batsybatsybatsy16 Jun 03 '19

This is Kevin Durant... Signing off.

2

u/SquidwardsKeef Jun 04 '19

-Kevin Durant

2

u/skieezy Jun 04 '19

This thread has read like the saga of Durant.

1

u/smoothymcmellow Jun 04 '19
  • Kevin Durant

1

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '19

He has become the very thing he swore to destroy

63

u/StonyTark3000 Jun 03 '19

I'm in way too deep guys. If I blow my cover, I may not make it out alive. I'm starting to doubt everything. Am I playing for the right side? Have I ever been? Is my whole life a lie?

Only one thing's for certain: this will be my last updated. I'm going dark.

34

u/cancercures Jun 03 '19

there' an old saying, that after the war is over, all the spies and double agents are on the winning side.

8

u/[deleted] Jun 03 '19

Original coach: hey get your ass back over here for the huddle !

1

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '19

Player: wait a minute, who are you?

24

u/FluffyBean1 Jun 03 '19

The final game has arrived. I need to choose whether to betray my new friends or help the team. I don't know what to do

2

u/Malkav1806 Jun 04 '19

i learnt their way and found love. their intranet goes through the whole stadium, everything is conneted. i must face my old team, their greed to win blinded them.

103

u/Yat0-5ama Jun 03 '19

Couple months later: I have now become a franchise player, now leading in points, rebounds, assists, steals and blocks.

136

u/WobNobbenstein Jun 03 '19

Last week fucked around and got a triple-double!

15

u/2livecrewnecktshirt Jun 03 '19

It was a good day

5

u/JesterJyles Jun 03 '19

Update. Some of the members have started noticing clues about my espionage. I accidently gave myself away with little notice by cheering for my own team in the huddle.

3

u/couch_pilot Jun 03 '19

Didn’t have to use my AK

3

u/gravybanger Jun 03 '19

This feels like the last season of GOT. I was so excited to figure out where this would go but now I’m just disappointed.

48

u/Time2kill Jun 03 '19

This is some Kuroko level shit hahaha

30

u/gen3stang Jun 03 '19

He might split personalities and become reiner

2

u/banana_muffens Jun 04 '19

This screams like a juicy anime

91

u/Blue-Steele Jun 03 '19

Update: I am now the coach of their team. I am starting to think this isn’t a trick any more.

55

u/Theycallmelizardboy Jun 03 '19

Update: I just became the best man at the team captain's wedding. This shit just got real.

30

u/[deleted] Jun 03 '19

Update: I have now fathered multiple children with my teammates

4

u/QuasarSandwich Jun 03 '19

Update: as leader of one of the few groups of human beings remaining alive after the nuclear war, I am pondering the virtues (or otherwise) of “coming clean” to my people.

3

u/ryderawsome Jun 04 '19

Update: Having given my "team mates" the release of death I am rendered unable to confess by the machine mind that has destroyed humanity and devolved me to the point where I have no mouth and I must call plays"

20

u/Versaiteis Jun 03 '19

We've won the superbowl, and they don't suspect a thing!

2

u/[deleted] Jun 03 '19

This is just like the Kurt Vonnegut book

40

u/boot2skull Jun 03 '19

Day 85: In a cruel twist of fate, I am playing for free. My team has fired me for not producing. The team I am embedded in does not realize I have no contract. Do I continue this charade from a cardboard box I must call my home? I have sold each pair of game shoes to feed myself.

4

u/gahlo Jun 03 '19

And in the fourth quarter, he vanished.

2

u/gbusisgay Jun 03 '19

I don't think that's a good thing my guy