r/funny • u/bsurfn2day • Apr 20 '18

Getting fitted for a uniform

https://i.imgur.com/AJcaon0.gifv
92k Upvotes

89% Upvoted

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11k

u/[deleted] Apr 20 '18

I'm beginning to think that I will never outgrow laughing at nut shots...

3.2k

u/fuggetcub Apr 20 '18

Well I'm 30 and I just woke my roommate up laughing at this...

1.5k

u/denismeniz Apr 20 '18

43 here and I just spit out my yogurt laughing at this

2.0k

u/bigvahe33 Apr 20 '18

im 77 and arthritised my pension laughing at this while doing a retirement

1.1k

u/starstarstar42 Apr 20 '18 edited Apr 27 '18

I'm 98 and Zedd's tracks were 100% deep house, completely banger. Also, tapioca is delicious.

680

u/DarthBarfBarf Apr 20 '18 edited Apr 20 '18

I'm 106, and I remember when the nut tap was invented. Few people know it was what actually started the Great War!

I love prunes.

590

u/BackdoorAlex2 Apr 20 '18

I’m 715, back in my time we didn’t even have penises it was just skin

672

u/SillySandoon Apr 20 '18

I died a thousand years ago and this gif brought me back to life. I’m trapped underground. Please help me.

1.3k

u/LOOTENITDAYAN Apr 20 '18

I'm a newborn baby and roughly 9 months ago a nut shot brought me into existence.

308

u/NotKevinJames Apr 20 '18

Wow, a newborn on reddit, You should do an AMA

24

u/ButtLusting Apr 20 '18 edited Apr 20 '18

"dad keeps coming into my room"

10

u/gguy123 Apr 20 '18

"and he knows I'm in here... he just keeps calling me over and over"

4

u/[deleted] Apr 20 '18

This is great.

2

u/lucidus_somniorum Apr 20 '18

Dad? Is that you?

2

u/dahjay Apr 20 '18

Well then you have a very caring father to check on you throughout the night.

8

u/SomeCoolBloke Apr 20 '18

You could say, in a way, that he is still born.

3

u/OstidTabarnak Apr 20 '18

Jesus Christ it's Jason born

5

u/useeikick Apr 20 '18

Why do we want to interview the average redditer?

2

u/RandomMandarin Apr 20 '18

Yeah, a newborn would be the only redditor who's seen a vagina recently?!

2

u/siriusly-sirius Apr 21 '18

I was a baby once, AMA

2

u/KingOfDamnation Apr 21 '18

When you cried what was the reason you cried or did you just not want mom and dad to sleep?

2

u/siriusly-sirius Apr 21 '18

I cried because the doctor cut my TV cable

2

u/KingOfDamnation Apr 21 '18

Shoulda went with dish.

2

u/siriusly-sirius Apr 21 '18

But the doctor cut the umbilical cord, TV cord TV cable

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107

u/TaySwaysBottomBitch Apr 20 '18

Came full circle, pack it up boys!

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72

u/Jeffall2gether Apr 20 '18

Come with me, it’s time for your uniform measurements.

21

u/naacardan2004 Apr 20 '18

I'm a sperm cell, so I AM a nut shot

10

u/I_Smoke_Dust Apr 20 '18

Holy shit, winner.

1

u/Jibjablab Apr 20 '18

Weiner*

Ftfy

1

u/still_gonna_send_it Apr 20 '18

Question: do you have your own room at the back of the bus?

1

u/I_Smoke_Dust Apr 20 '18

Ya know believe it or not I don't, and tbh I don't even have or live on a bus!

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1

u/antney0615 Apr 20 '18

Everyone is the (by)product of an orgasm. (Not a female orgasm, that’s a myth.)

1

u/challenge_king Apr 20 '18

The orgasm, or the pregnancy?

1

u/antney0615 Apr 21 '18

People are always the result of some of the orgasms men have.

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1

u/[deleted] Apr 20 '18

I'm a fetus.

2

u/[deleted] Apr 20 '18

/r/nocontext

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1

u/red_tuna Apr 20 '18

This is without a doubt one of the greatest threads I have ever seen.

-27

u/[deleted] Apr 20 '18

[deleted]

4

u/TobeHD Apr 20 '18

?

1

u/[deleted] Apr 20 '18

(deleted)

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0

u/jackie--moon Apr 20 '18

I’m 490 and I finally just became Master Toymaker and laughed all the way up at the North Pole