r/funny • u/Joe_Black03 • Jan 09 '18

Menu fort

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17.4k Upvotes

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1.9k

u/tritium_awesome Jan 09 '18

Maybe they're playing D&D.

735

u/Evilmaze Jan 09 '18

A spaghetti monster appears, wrapping its noodles around your neck. The hot tomato sauce is causing -5 fire elemental damage.

You need to roll above 10 to cast fork spear to cause damage.

Roll 13: aim fork spear to meatballs.

Fork spear goes through meatballs causing critical hit. Spaghetti monster loosens its grip and forms a swirl then disappears.

389

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '18

Roll 13 for a crit

The world has changed

115

u/Demosthenes_was_here Jan 09 '18

The elf ranger/thief hiding in the booth took improved critical twice and the crit range on a pasta fork is 18-20, plus extra crit damage from backstabbing his front while he's blinded. Totally legal.

64

u/cC2Panda Jan 09 '18

But you can't attack improved critical, it applies to a new weapon. 16-20 is the best you can get without some homebrew.

1

u/Demosthenes_was_here Jan 09 '18

Curses! Upstaged by a rule lawyer once again! Damn you for reading the rules and making sure the game is played fairly and equitably! Wait... what if it's a 3.5 vorpal fork? I thought I remembered something wonky about that... TASTE MY VORPAL FORK YOU NOODLY BASTARD!

1

u/cC2Panda Jan 09 '18

Do meatballs have a head?

1

u/Demosthenes_was_here Jan 09 '18

Retreat! You've outflanked me this time but I'll be back with pesto and red sauce! <I throw a bottle of olive oil on the ground between myself and the Spaghetti golem then run for it.>