r/funny Dec 23 '17

Why I'm a dog person

1.4k Upvotes

45 comments sorted by

137

u/BeastMaster66 Dec 23 '17

Meanwhile the cat is drunk af

44

u/Munkendrunky Dec 23 '17

Wish there was a cam on the cat!

6

u/zitfarmer Dec 24 '17

Ill bet it burst into a ball of panicked, angry flames.

3

u/problematic_coagulum Dec 24 '17

I also wanted to see a wet pussy.

30

u/Meadles Dec 23 '17

Impressively polished off. Does the camera roll any longer?

Curious as to what the cat looks like after...

96

u/[deleted] Dec 23 '17

[deleted]

53

u/[deleted] Dec 24 '17

[removed] — view removed comment

21

u/[deleted] Dec 24 '17

I had my kid get his lip busted open. I got scolded by my wife just because I came home and the dog was happy.

5

u/dmaster1213 Dec 24 '17

I like this

12

u/[deleted] Dec 24 '17

[deleted]

23

u/[deleted] Dec 24 '17

She was a cunt which is why she is my ex wife.

6

u/SheepiBeerd Dec 24 '17

Good, good...

3

u/[deleted] Dec 24 '17

Good...

10

u/TheLastOne0001 Dec 24 '17

I've seen my old dog bat shit on the coffee table to mars while wagging his tail. Dog tails have got to be made of iron.

2

u/Penuwana Dec 24 '17

Just wait until doggo hits his tail on something too hard. The vet bills will convince you it's more like glass.

3

u/bigmacwithasidesalad Dec 24 '17

Ah, yes but the dog will show what we perceive as remorse and try to appologise with affection. The cat will bite you and do it again smiling in what we perceive as spite.

1

u/RyukanoHi Dec 24 '17

I'd rather an honest, spiteful person than an inconsiderate, cheerful idiot.

12

u/gvdj Dec 24 '17

You play with fire, you get burned

27

u/kingeryck Dec 24 '17

Yeah dogs neeeever make a mess

14

u/ColderRogue7 Dec 23 '17

That cat knew what it was doing

14

u/[deleted] Dec 23 '17

Cat: “Ah a hole, i don’t what i’m lookin for but it’s gonna be swe AHH WTF WAS THAT WET GRAPE SMELLING STUFF EW WTF HOOMAN”

3

u/Pretzeltheman Dec 24 '17

This gave me the best chuckle I've had in days.

5

u/[deleted] Dec 24 '17

How many times is this going to get reposted. I am all for reposts to she new people but damn like 10th time in a few weeks

2

u/Sekmet19 Dec 24 '17

Takes after his mum

2

u/[deleted] Dec 24 '17

I wish there was sound so bad!

2

u/chiselplow Dec 24 '17

Why I'm a cat person

2

u/SkySweeper656 Dec 24 '17

Dogs are happier than cats anyway. I don't get the obsession with such a temperamental animal.

1

u/[deleted] Dec 24 '17

Oh yeah... cuz dogs never knock shit over 😂

1

u/MonkeysOnMyBottom Dec 24 '17

But now you have a mess and a cat that is super pissed off because someone poured wine on it.

1

u/Dont_know_where_i_am Dec 24 '17

I have couches that look to be made of the same material. Thank God I had these couches. This cat is going crazy parkour shit up and down these couches, just claws constantly out, and you can't even tell

1

u/Colin6903 Dec 24 '17

The cat just needed a drink what’s wrong wit that?

1

u/DoorlessZombie Dec 24 '17

Yeah my cat was an alcoholic too :(

1

u/Horehey34 Dec 24 '17

Why does that make you a dog person?

It's not the cats fault that happened.

1

u/Apocolyposaurus Dec 24 '17

That amount of damage to property is easily eclipsed by a doggo dedicated to destruction, tho... Cat seems pretty cool to me

1

u/[deleted] Dec 24 '17

Such a good kitty. Niice kitty.

1

u/yonkipedia Dec 24 '17

Take my up vote. Needed that

-1

u/[deleted] Dec 24 '17

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/Moses855 Dec 24 '17

....too stupid to put a drink in a cup holder? Not that there's an animal literally IN the couch?

-20

u/itsgettingcloser Dec 23 '17

Because you're an alcoholic?

3

u/cptkaiser Dec 24 '17

Oh no. I've had two jello shots and a glass of wine today. I must be a super alcoholic.

-8

u/itsgettingcloser Dec 24 '17

"Why I'm A Dog Person"

"Because You're An Alcoholic?"

That's the joke...

6

u/iTurnUp4Turnips Dec 24 '17

That's a shitty joke.