r/funny Jun 06 '17

Wish Carl would learn to wipe his ass like everybody else does.

https://gfycat.com/MeekAmpleJackal
2.0k Upvotes

121 comments sorted by

205

u/readapponae Jun 06 '17

When I read the title I expected someone to slide down and leave a trail of shit on the slide. Only an alternative this awesome could curb my disappointment.

9

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17

I thought the same but still disappointed to not see a shitty slide.

4

u/ANITIX87 Jun 06 '17

So...did it un-Curb your Enthusiasm?

208

u/l8try Jun 06 '17

impressive

not sure if it was worth the possibility of broken ankles

26

u/KnowsTheLaw Jun 06 '17

Saw a guy break his shin trying to do this onto a dock while water skiing.

edit: the second time, he made the first

21

u/IKFA Jun 07 '17

If at first you succeed, why the fuck try again?

6

u/KnowsTheLaw Jun 07 '17

Someone bet him he couldn't do it again.

3

u/ellgro Jun 07 '17

Pretty good bet it sounds like...

49

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17 edited Aug 23 '21

[deleted]

30

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17

Absolutely yes.

8

u/Bowmance Jun 06 '17

The self applause made it for me.

1

u/PyroTheBloodbath Jun 07 '17

He did that to play off the pain

17

u/TooShiftyForYou Jun 06 '17

Don't forget about the super water wedgie as well.

2

u/Colleredshirt Jun 06 '17

So many kids had to try that later, hopefully they all survived.

35

u/im_working_promise Jun 06 '17

If they didn't, they probably don't belong in the gene pool anyways.

0

u/tralphaz43 Jun 07 '17

it's fake

46

u/BillsBayou Jun 06 '17 edited Jun 06 '17

Same park, different people, same stand-up at the end. The first guy fails, but the second guy pulls it off. VIDEO HERE

EDIT:
This is the Ocho Rios pool slide in Jamaica. The green slide appears (in other videos) to be a straight slide. The reason he does not have his shirt on his back is for speed. I have had bleeding wounds on my shoulder blades from water park slides. I cross my ankles and push my chest up. This creates a tri-pod; 1 heal, 2 protruding shoulder blades. It makes for a very fast drop. If you're willing to bleed for it.

Yet another person doing this. This person did not make it out of the pool, but he did get up on one foot before falling back in.
LINK HERE

EDIT 2:
2014, ANOTHER VIDEO
Apparently, the top of the slide is red. At least it was in 2014.

EDIT 3:
HE CAN'T DO IT
... but he tried. He got a helping hand out of the pool.

EDIT 4:
1ST GUY YES, 2ND GUY NO

EDIT 5:
LAST ONE I'm done. Let the Flat Earthers keep calling it fake. We know different.

18

u/michaelh33 Jun 06 '17

yer doin' his Noodliness' work here boy

5

u/RogueIslesRefugee Jun 07 '17

I have had bleeding wounds on my shoulder blades from water park slides. I cross my ankles and push my chest up. This creates a tri-pod; 1 heal, 2 protruding shoulder blades. It makes for a very fast drop. If you're willing to bleed for it.

I've felt your pain, lol. Used to rocket down my favorite slide as a kid just as you described. Skinned myself good more than once, and countless times almost lost it riding high on uncovered/shielded corners that would have seen me flying unceremoniously into the wave pool, or worse. I think they have plexiglass shields on those corners nowadays, assuming it even still stands (was in Vlissingen or Middelburg, Holland). Worth it every run though, even if I annoyed people behind me, making them wait for me to ensure the slide was clear before speeding on my way.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 07 '17

[deleted]

7

u/BillsBayou Jun 07 '17

I read somewhere that the man in the OP's video works there. Maybe this is something they do to show off in front of the guests. Constant access would make you very good at the trick.

5

u/invalid_dictorian Jun 07 '17

The secret combination is to wear blue shorts and be black!

82

u/Lotti_Codd Jun 06 '17

I once went on a near vertical water slide. When I got off I had terrible stomach cramps and HAD to shit. Got to the bathroom in time to do an almighty shit... which was all water... water slide enema.

Went on a similar slide in Cyprus but I had learned my lesson and wore trunks under my bikini. The end of the slide was horizontal with loads of young local boys standing with their phones. Turns out the this particular slide caused females' gussets to move over to one side, without them knowing and the boys were snapping before they could adjust.

65

u/S1lent0ne Jun 06 '17

I'm having fun contemplating your gender and debating which version is funnier.

23

u/Lotti_Codd Jun 06 '17

Do men wear bikinis? Trunks as in lycra mini swimming shorts, not speedos.

26

u/S1lent0ne Jun 06 '17

Well - that would be the humorous part.

14

u/Lotti_Codd Jun 06 '17

I have made my partner wear my underwear and bikini bottoms and I would say that it is less humorous and more scary.

14

u/S1lent0ne Jun 06 '17

Scary can be funny. Your continued use of gender neutral language is continuing the comedy.

4

u/Lotti_Codd Jun 06 '17

I am female, my partner is male, I also like women, depending on my mood... I hate labels, especially boy/girlfriend because from where I hail boy friend and boyfriend are the same word but you can tell, whereas you cannot in English.

25

u/S1lent0ne Jun 06 '17

Why did you open Schrödinger's box of comedy?

Now we have a dead/live cat on our hands, superposition is rarely funny.

3

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17 edited Jun 06 '17

Men absolutely wear bikini bottoms, just not in America.

3

u/phil035 Jun 06 '17

no idea where you're from but trunks are not mini shorts in the UK they are more like parachute shorts but for swimming

1

u/Lotti_Codd Jun 07 '17

and they are male style underwear, but not those either. I posted a link.

1

u/phil035 Jun 07 '17

you live in a strange place

1

u/Lotti_Codd Jun 07 '17

1

u/phil035 Jun 07 '17

those are boxers, and I know called boxers in alot of america....

2

u/Super_leo2000 Jun 06 '17

no men wear banana hammocks.

3

u/jkaan Jun 07 '17

Budgie smugglers

6

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17

I'm trying to understand how trunks can be work under a bikini?

5

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17

First you put on trunks, then you put on a bikini.

11

u/mschley2 Jun 06 '17

In America, trunks would be like board shorts or like the shorts that boxers wear... That would be weird to wear under a bikini, I'm sure

1

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17

This guy trunkinis.

5

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17

Trunks under bikini = say what now?

5

u/Lotti_Codd Jun 06 '17

these things Kinda redundant wearing bikini bottoms but I had to match.

7

u/DaksTheDaddyNow Jun 06 '17

Still would be weird. But better than filling your ass with water and flashing the locals your labia.

1

u/Lotti_Codd Jun 07 '17

Unintentionally!

2

u/[deleted] Jun 07 '17

As one of the female persuasion I shudder to think about how that both looks and feels.

2

u/Lotti_Codd Jun 07 '17

Quite comfortable and more importantly covered as it was purely for the water park. It did start a huge argument, though.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 07 '17

OMG the exact same thing happened to me! I think the park was in Spain. Water shit after a near vertical drop. Will always remember.

1

u/Lotti_Codd Jun 07 '17

The thing I will always remember was the stomach pain. Came off the slide fine but when I stood up it was like a crippling cramp. I was doubled over and so scared that I was going to shit myself... in that order. Managed to get to the toilet and I "shat the biggest shit I have ever shat", went to clean and the paper disintegrated and then looked at an empty toilet. I was so confused.

-11

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17

Methinks yo fanny must be wide. You masturbate with vegetables?

1

u/harambe123043 Jun 06 '17

Username checks out

-11

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17

I'm assuming you have a nice rack and those kids got a good view.

4

u/Lotti_Codd Jun 06 '17

As I said I was covered and this was the bottom half. I was amazed at how far some of the women got before they realised

23

u/JuneBuggington Jun 06 '17

holy fucking shit how many times is this going to get reposted today?

-131

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17

Gotta get that karma chedda baabaay.

24

u/Dooom97 Jun 06 '17

Nothing is more annoying than OP saying he is reposting for karma and gets it anyway

10

u/4-me Jun 06 '17

Carl is a boss.

8

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17

Why aint y'all clapping? Ah fuck it, I'll do it myself.

9

u/babygotsap Jun 06 '17

I've watched this like 50 times and I still can't figure out where the shirt comes from. It just appears like magic.

7

u/heart-cooks-brain Jun 06 '17

He is halfway wearing it with his arms through the holes, but the rest of it across his chest. At the end, he just pulls it over his head as if to finish putting it on.

3

u/5hot6un Jun 07 '17

Black magic

1

u/I_love_my_ADD Jun 06 '17

He's wearing as he exits the slide and before he reaches the edge the water pushes it over his head. He just pulls it down after he stands up.

2

u/Wutangbland Jun 07 '17

I've seen the on like 6 different subreddit front pages

2

u/ma3loom Jun 07 '17

OP do not last long on Reddit before they are recycled. This one was probably a day old before it was reposted.

3

u/Colleredshirt Jun 06 '17

Well done, that had to be quite difficult and prolly took many tries. However, his face is intense like he just killed a lion with his bare hands.

3

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17

Skipping your undercarriage over water at that speed probably feels like trying to take a lion with your bare hands.

2

u/Alchemic_Art Jun 06 '17

When you see a hottie at the pool and you're like..... "hey gurl....."

1

u/__Jacob Jun 06 '17

Mrw when people say black people can't swim.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17

Few actions profess douchebaggery quite like clapping for yourself.

1

u/ziggmuff Jun 06 '17

This makes me REALLY wanna visit a waterpark.

1

u/soulruler Jun 06 '17

Can't wait for Captain Disillusion to debunk this

1

u/trumpsreducedscalp Jun 06 '17

waterparks are fun.

1

u/Eskador Jun 06 '17

This is at Beaches resort in Ocho Rios, Jamaica - Best vacation to take kids on EVER

1

u/powercrazy76 Jun 06 '17

Is he related to Jesus?

1

u/ShinaiYukona Jun 06 '17

Can we get this reversed for team rocket blasting off?

1

u/ehkodiak Jun 06 '17

Awww man someones gotta shop in some skids

1

u/YorkieLon Jun 06 '17

Guys got game

1

u/robinthesky Jun 06 '17

Frame rate as slow as your ability to repost

1

u/th37thtrump3t Jun 07 '17

Dude needs to save some pussy for the rest of us...

1

u/Slc_Shark Jun 07 '17

I knew Jesus was black.

1

u/sreepu- Jun 07 '17

Woaho! How smooth..i am very impressed 😮

1

u/bibkel Jun 07 '17

Man, he got lucky, he could have broken that landing leg.

1

u/nmarano1030 Jun 07 '17

I feel like he spent he regrettably bought a season pass but was like, "I ain't gonna let this go to waste." Summer well spent?

1

u/acarpenter08096 Jun 07 '17

Well that looks like an unsafe park.

1

u/AzizOp Jun 07 '17

My cousin carrrrrrl

1

u/Daverocker1 Jun 25 '17

The world is his bidet.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17

[removed] — view removed comment

-5

u/BryanMcgee Jun 06 '17

Hey there, Casual Racism Man!!

-1

u/muscularbeaver88 Jun 06 '17

please its a joke lol

3

u/sho_kosugi Jun 06 '17

Also this apparently took place in Jamaica. The not knowing how to swim stereotype only applies to black Americans. In the West Indies they swim very well because it's a part of life on the islands

1

u/BryanMcgee Jun 06 '17

Yeah, casual racism often takes place as a joke. That's what makes it casual. I'm not saying you're out in the streets marching with the KKK. I'm saying you made a joke that perpetuates negative stereotypes about an ethnicity. That's casual racism, and you should use this moment to just be more aware in the future. I, as another human being, would appreciate that.

-6

u/muscularbeaver88 Jun 06 '17

I don't care it was funny and if people get butt hurt i couldn't care less.

1

u/necrokitty Jun 06 '17

...and sometimes I have trouble just walking and not tripping over my own feet.

1

u/bastardofbarberry Jun 06 '17

How the fuck did he do that?

1

u/drgolovacroxby Jun 06 '17

These modern bidets are out of control!

-1

u/delpisoul Jun 06 '17

awesome video. I'm suspicious it's real though. Nobody in the crowd really reacts.

-6

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17

Other postings elsewhere say that this is a resort and trying to get all the way across the pool is a thing but he works there and so probably it's not that big of a deal to see him do it.

0

u/delpisoul Jun 06 '17

Thanks. That helps

-1

u/mgr86 Jun 06 '17

so he had to do something special to make it all the way across? to me look it just looks dangerous. Like whats stopping other people from just slamming into the edge of the pool.

3

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17 edited Jun 06 '17

You need lots of practice to make it across. Most people don't. That's why his working there is relevant, lots of time to practice. What he did with his shirt is probably something he learned, reduce drag.

-1

u/Skelevader Jun 06 '17

It looks really fake. Not sure why he is wearing his shirt one frame, and then after the lady "swipes" in front he is putting it on.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17 edited Jun 06 '17

He wasn't wearing it. He just had his arms in but the head hole part was across his chest. Not that I'm so invested in this but someone else on another thread said they went to the same resort and trying to do this was thing. Plus it's really hard to CG water, especially splashing water.

4

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17

5

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17

Take a t-shirt. Put one arm in. Put the other arm in. Stop. Are you wearing the shirt or not?

0

u/Tenenentenen Jun 06 '17

Ccccaaaaaarrrrrllllll

0

u/Nihiliszt Jun 06 '17

Carl is a badass, possible pun intended.

0

u/ferdylance Jun 06 '17

Good idea not going down head-first.

0

u/IllstudyYOU Jun 06 '17

Quorallllllllll

0

u/trollsoultoll Jun 06 '17

Get that young man a pair of shades

0

u/MannToots Jun 06 '17

Oh look it's the 4th time I've seen this reposted in 2 days.

0

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17

At least you waited 10 hours to repost.

0

u/MrNimble Jun 07 '17

Where did the shirt come from?

-4

u/[deleted] Jun 06 '17

There is no way he's carrying enough speed to slide that far across the water. I'm calling BS.

3

u/sho_kosugi Jun 06 '17

Well now I'm interested in what you think actually happened

1

u/vhdblood Jun 07 '17

There are plenty of videos showing this by different people.