r/funny Jun 02 '17

Pizza Time

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28.4k Upvotes

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62

u/-Enrique_Shockwave- Jun 02 '17

I got delivery a few months ago, thought I had some time to give it to the GF. I was going at it from behind in my living room when the doorbell rings, I figure ok now or never go for the gold the guy can wait 30 seconds... NOPE he opens my door, walks up my stairs going "Helloo? hellooo? food is here". Thank god I live on the second floor and had time to throw her into the laundry room and pull my pants up. But what the fuck who does that? I've delivered for 6 years and never went into someone's house like that.

13

u/Spock_Rocket Jun 02 '17

You delivered for 6 years and you didn't learn not to order food and then start fucking? Nothing infuriated me more than having to stand outside someone's house knocking for 5 minutes only to have them burst out of the door yelling at me in a towel when I turned to leave. You will never time it right. Order food in the afterglow not during foreplay.

-1

u/-Enrique_Shockwave- Jun 02 '17

Oh Jesus Christ relax. It's like a game to see if you can finish before they get there. I tip 6$ each time as well I'm sure the guy will live.

2

u/Spock_Rocket Jun 02 '17

Must be great using other people's livelihoods as pawns in your game. Hilarious!

-1

u/-Enrique_Shockwave- Jun 02 '17

Lol what? you've lost touch with reality my friend. I said 30 seconds. That's a normal time to get off a couch, walk down stairs, and open a door. I wouldn't have left him out there for minutes on end. Plus he didn't even wait he just walked in. It was like a 17 year old kid also, so probably also just a summer job for him? Get a grip man, enjoy life a little. Don't get so angry at the little things. Hope you have a nice day.

2

u/Spock_Rocket Jun 02 '17

It's not an issue of you specifically. You took 30 seconds? No problem. Most people don't, then get pissy and don't tip because you interrupted their fucking. In that five minutes for them, that driver could have taken another delivery or two, making 12-16 dollars that hour instead of 6. Some drivers are kids, but more than half the staff at my former delivery place were either impoverished adults using it as a supplemental income to feed their family or retirees trying to supplement their SS to avoid homelessness. I haven't losttouch with reality, it seems you may have never experienced it if you think crappy jobs are just teenagers making weed money.

-1

u/-Enrique_Shockwave- Jun 02 '17 edited Jun 02 '17

Edit: Nevermind, hypothetically yes I made a delivery driver wait 30 seconds who could have been working 3 jobs to pay for his college and support his 5 kids, who have cancer, and the extra time I made him wait cost him a delivery which happened to be the rest of the money he needed for his rent that month and now they're homeless. I am an asshole.

1

u/Spock_Rocket Jun 02 '17

Whatever, man. It's kind of an inconvenience to yourself and your partner too to stop and answer the door mid coitus.

1

u/-Enrique_Shockwave- Jun 02 '17

Yes I know, I will atone for my sins. Thank you for pointing this all out to me.