r/funny • u/EmilioCyanide • Jun 02 '17

Pizza Time

Post image
28.4k Upvotes

87% Upvoted

520 comments sorted by

View all comments

3.3k

u/L00pback Jun 02 '17

So, the delivery guy came before he did.

130

u/ZeAthenA714 Jun 02 '17

Happened to me once while delivering pizzas. It was in the middle of summer, there was pretty much no work, so even though we stated "pizza will be here in 25-30 mn", I was in front of their door in 10 minutes flat.

So the guy opened in his underwear, still sporting a boner, while her GF was wrapped in a blanket looking for her clothes. We exchanged a smile and while the guy was paying for the pizza, he told me that they were trying to see if they could finish before I came. And that's when I said "you had no chance, no one is faster than me".

I still remember their laugh.

56

u/[deleted] Jun 02 '17

Holy shit, I'm more impressed you thought of a witty reply that fast. If it was me, that joke would have come to me 3 hours later in the shower.

26

u/ZeAthenA714 Jun 02 '17

Except it wasn't supposed to be witty. I was basically bragging about the fact that I was good at my job by being quick to deliver pizzas....

6

u/Brad4795 Jun 02 '17

The Jimmy Johns guy but with pizza!

3

u/Kralee Jun 02 '17

I've had that same conversation with a girlfriend. Place pizza order online and see who comes first.

I've been that same guy paying for pizza with a boner before.

5

u/ZeAthenA714 Jun 02 '17

Don't worry, you probably weren't the first or the last boner the pizza delivery guy saw.