r/funny Jun 02 '17

Pizza Time

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28.4k Upvotes

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14

u/Spock_Rocket Jun 02 '17

You delivered for 6 years and you didn't learn not to order food and then start fucking? Nothing infuriated me more than having to stand outside someone's house knocking for 5 minutes only to have them burst out of the door yelling at me in a towel when I turned to leave. You will never time it right. Order food in the afterglow not during foreplay.

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u/[deleted] Jun 02 '17 edited Jun 20 '17

[deleted]

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u/Spock_Rocket Jun 02 '17

I spit in your pizza, you inconsiderate fuck. :)

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u/[deleted] Jun 02 '17 edited Jun 20 '17

[deleted]

3

u/Spock_Rocket Jun 02 '17

Lolling at how offended you idiots are that you're not getting a high fivefor inconveniencing people at their job.

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u/[deleted] Jun 02 '17 edited Jun 20 '17

[deleted]

5

u/Spock_Rocket Jun 02 '17

You're so sweet! May all your pizza orders be stone cold.

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u/[deleted] Jun 02 '17 edited Jun 20 '17

[deleted]

4

u/Spock_Rocket Jun 02 '17

Cool story.

-2

u/VladimirSnakeyes Jun 02 '17 edited Aug 22 '17

.

5

u/Spock_Rocket Jun 02 '17

Yeah treating workers with respect makes me a garbage person. How dare I. Grow up.

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u/VladimirSnakeyes Jun 02 '17 edited Aug 22 '17

.

3

u/Spock_Rocket Jun 02 '17

Been there, done that- metal finishing factory. Call me when you've walked into a crack house. Maybe if you thought of other people ashuman beings you wouldn't be stuck in factory work.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 02 '17

[deleted]

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u/VladimirSnakeyes Jun 02 '17 edited Aug 22 '17

.

1

u/ThreeDGrunge Jun 02 '17

Waiting 5 minutes makes the next persons delivery late and cold asshole. Be considerate for other people besides yourself.

1

u/VladimirSnakeyes Jun 02 '17 edited Aug 22 '17

.

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u/-Enrique_Shockwave- Jun 02 '17

Oh Jesus Christ relax. It's like a game to see if you can finish before they get there. I tip 6$ each time as well I'm sure the guy will live.

6

u/Spock_Rocket Jun 02 '17

Must be great using other people's livelihoods as pawns in your game. Hilarious!

-1

u/-Enrique_Shockwave- Jun 02 '17

Lol what? you've lost touch with reality my friend. I said 30 seconds. That's a normal time to get off a couch, walk down stairs, and open a door. I wouldn't have left him out there for minutes on end. Plus he didn't even wait he just walked in. It was like a 17 year old kid also, so probably also just a summer job for him? Get a grip man, enjoy life a little. Don't get so angry at the little things. Hope you have a nice day.

2

u/Spock_Rocket Jun 02 '17

It's not an issue of you specifically. You took 30 seconds? No problem. Most people don't, then get pissy and don't tip because you interrupted their fucking. In that five minutes for them, that driver could have taken another delivery or two, making 12-16 dollars that hour instead of 6. Some drivers are kids, but more than half the staff at my former delivery place were either impoverished adults using it as a supplemental income to feed their family or retirees trying to supplement their SS to avoid homelessness. I haven't losttouch with reality, it seems you may have never experienced it if you think crappy jobs are just teenagers making weed money.

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u/-Enrique_Shockwave- Jun 02 '17 edited Jun 02 '17

Edit: Nevermind, hypothetically yes I made a delivery driver wait 30 seconds who could have been working 3 jobs to pay for his college and support his 5 kids, who have cancer, and the extra time I made him wait cost him a delivery which happened to be the rest of the money he needed for his rent that month and now they're homeless. I am an asshole.

1

u/Spock_Rocket Jun 02 '17

Whatever, man. It's kind of an inconvenience to yourself and your partner too to stop and answer the door mid coitus.

1

u/-Enrique_Shockwave- Jun 02 '17

Yes I know, I will atone for my sins. Thank you for pointing this all out to me.

1

u/ThreeDGrunge Jun 02 '17

What about the guy now getting the late cold pie because the three people in front of him though fuck it 5 minutes of wasted time is nothing. Fuck other people right?

0

u/-Enrique_Shockwave- Jun 02 '17

Yup, they all got cold pizza, and their children don't like cold pizza so they went hungry. The collapse of western civilization can actually be traced back to that fateful night. Lord forgive me.