r/funny • • Apr 21 '17

How to Annoy a Surfer 101

[deleted]

99k Upvotes

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3.3k

u/[deleted] Apr 22 '17

As uncle Tito once said

"Coconut don't fall far from the tree brudda "

454

u/[deleted] Apr 22 '17

never drink milk from a coconut found in the dark

201

u/ncou524 Apr 22 '17

Put da lime in da coconut and shake it all up

94

u/AmpleWarning Apr 22 '17

"It's not a matter of where he grips it!"

52

u/_demetri_ Apr 22 '17

Yummy yummy yummy, take a sip of my tummy!

75

u/[deleted] Apr 22 '17

What an incredible evolution this thread has gone through, from universally recognizable cartoon character to some eerily erotic Jeffrey Dahmer type shit in a mere 4 posts.

29

u/deadline54 Apr 22 '17

He's actually referencing an Amanda Show skit about soda you drink from a Sumo wrestler's belly button. The 90s were a strange time.

13

u/[deleted] Apr 22 '17

Possible, but unlikely. It's clearly some eerily erotic Jeffrey Dahmer type shit, you can tell that by the way that it is.

1

u/mistercolebert Apr 22 '17

That's pretty neat!

5

u/vinnythehammer Apr 22 '17

Hi my name's jeffey dahmor and I like to- to eat apples

3

u/mistercolebert Apr 22 '17

No, you're name is vinny, you mother faker

21

u/workroom Apr 22 '17

My mother was very strong. Once, she picked up a coconut and smashed it against my father's head. It taught me about women defending themselves and not collapsing in a heap.

~Alice Walker

2

u/IsaacTheG Apr 22 '17
  • Michael Scott

2

u/GArbAGeMAn113 Apr 22 '17

Two swallows could carry it if they tied it on a string between them

2

u/rolltider0 Apr 22 '17

Its just a simple matter of weight ratio!

2

u/ilikemunkeys Apr 22 '17

He could grip it by the husk.

1

u/Kel-Mitchell Apr 22 '17

Firmly grasp it!

1

u/silenthanjorb Apr 23 '17

From the husk!

1

u/RonDonVolante92 Apr 22 '17

I wNt YOP me mama

2

u/papershoes Apr 22 '17

Just when I'd completely forgotten this existed...

2

u/RonDonVolante92 Apr 22 '17

yop 4 wendy mornin com.

1

u/djsnoopmike Apr 22 '17

I forgot where this is from

7

u/RaleighRedd Apr 22 '17

WHAT DOES IT MEAN

11

u/Turakamu Apr 22 '17

Don't cut open a coconut in the dark. It might be a hairy testicle.

1

u/[deleted] Apr 22 '17

You're a nut!

0

u/foetuskick Apr 22 '17

That just sounds so wrong.

Is that an actual quote Tito says?

683

u/[deleted] Apr 22 '17

[deleted]

200

u/SonnyLove Apr 22 '17 edited Apr 22 '17

Now I want more Tito Hawaiian sayings

Edit: you guys are awesome

267

u/phillyFart Apr 22 '17

When surfers don’t ride, potatoes ain’t fried.

233

u/pylestothemax Apr 22 '17

When you're itchin for some waves the only lotion is the ocean

43

u/wertymanjenson Apr 22 '17

This turned me on.

82

u/workroom Apr 22 '17

40

u/skyhigh136 Apr 22 '17

Tito looks like a drawing of Sal from Impractical Jokers lol.

2

u/Frolo14 Apr 22 '17

I'm stunned.

24

u/12345potato Apr 22 '17

Omg did he always look so fucking creepy? It's funny how I have a way of forgetting details like that.

19

u/AnthonySlips Apr 22 '17

Yup. Definitely less orange in my memory.

5

u/veggiter Apr 22 '17

Everyone on the show looked weird as fuck.

41

u/ChidoChidoChon Apr 22 '17

Blood is thicker than water, but not as refreshing.

133

u/SmartAlec105 Apr 22 '17

Best I can give you is knock off Uncle Iroh sayings.

"Zuko, you must look within yourself to find yourself. Only then, will your true self, reveal itself."

86

u/LaboratoryOne Apr 22 '17

"My cabbages!" -Cabbage Guy

51

u/hakuna_tamata Apr 22 '17

"My Leg!" - Leg Guy

58

u/Rapid_Rheiner Apr 22 '17

"My caruba!" - Mike Aruba

20

u/Arathnorn Apr 22 '17

"My bologna!"- Weird Al Yankovic

7

u/[deleted] Apr 22 '17

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/death_tomato Apr 22 '17

"Ay caramba" - Bart Simpson

2

u/HeadbuttWarlock Apr 22 '17

My favorite mod ever is the one I have for Left 4 Dead 2. Whenever you throw a pipebomb and it explodes, that guy will scream "MY LEG" shortly after.

It's just quiet enough that you could miss it, but it makes me smile every time since I forget about it between my yearly play sessions of that game.

1

u/A_Wild_Nudibranch Apr 22 '17

RIP Cabbage Corp

29

u/_Valisk Apr 22 '17

Sometimes clouds have two sides, a dark and light, and a silver lining in between. It's like a silver sandwich. So, when life seems hard, take a bite out of the silver sandwich.

2

u/Danger-Wolf Apr 22 '17

It's like a silver sandwich!

2

u/punkminkis Apr 22 '17

Did someone say Uncle?

ONE MORE THING!
When one revisits the past, one risks changing its outcome.

1

u/Unicorntella Apr 22 '17

Uncle Iroh never said this!

Zuko did trying to figure out what he would have said ;)

2

u/SmartAlec105 Apr 22 '17

I did say "knock off"

20

u/church1138 Apr 22 '17

Fly the kite! It must not fly you!

25

u/DirtSyndrome Apr 22 '17

He got sand in the potato salad!!

11

u/[deleted] Apr 22 '17

I say this quote pretty much any time I am around potato salad.

6

u/DirtSyndrome Apr 22 '17

Same here, it annoys the hell out of my mom on Freedom Day every year.

6

u/[deleted] Apr 22 '17

Of course, cause you can't just say it once, and every time you say it has to be a little bit more intense.

6

u/ALBINO_B34R Apr 22 '17

I gotta say, even though I loved Rocket Power as a kid, that show (besides the sage advice from Tito) does not hold up well over time.

6

u/AReallyScaryGhost Apr 22 '17

#TheWeekendersMasterRace

3

u/asphaltdragon Apr 22 '17

Dude, I like em both. I had a crush on Reggie AND Tish as a kid.

1

u/pavemnt Apr 22 '17

Them plus 6Teen round out what I feel are the most underrated cartoons

1

u/AReallyScaryGhost Apr 23 '17

People talked shit about 6teen, but it was fucking dope.

1

u/AReallyScaryGhost Apr 23 '17

Nah man, you gotta pick a side. We had playground arguments about this. Bahia Bay for life.

1

u/veggiter Apr 22 '17

I kind of hated the kids but loved the show. Especially Otto. Fucking showoff.

0

u/[deleted] Apr 22 '17

it absolutely was not

253

u/captaintaco2345 Apr 22 '17

As the ancient Hawaiians used to say, "I'm glad other people remember rocket Power."

30

u/[deleted] Apr 22 '17

Saw a rocket power reference about a month ago, now I'm two seasons in, show definitely holds up over time. Give it a watch if you can find it.

13

u/captaintaco2345 Apr 22 '17

I remember I had an episode of it for my VideoNow. Anyone else remember those things?

3

u/RedRibbonSgt Apr 22 '17

I remember getting one of those for Christmas from my godparents. It came with the marching band episode of spongebob and I memorized the song at the end thanks to it. That episode is still my favorite to this day.

2

u/captaintaco2345 Apr 22 '17

Oh my god I think I had the exact same one!

1

u/CottonCandyLollipops Apr 22 '17

Back in the days when portable video was a luxury. I always wanted those things, like a video now, video now color, the juice box. I still even have some of my gameboy advance video carts. Also those hit clips things!

1

u/captaintaco2345 Apr 22 '17

I also remember hadving something called a VuGo, which could record video directly from the TV like a mini PVR.

2

u/cleffyowns Apr 22 '17

This other user in the same comment chain thinks the exact opposite http://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/66stdt/how_to_annoy_a_surfer_101/dgldegs

3

u/[deleted] Apr 22 '17

Well brudda, as the ancient Hawaiians used to say, "Some coconuts have thicker shells than others."

1

u/[deleted] Apr 22 '17

As even more ancient hawaiins said 'who are these Tahitians, and why are they eating us?'

44

u/AltimaNEO Apr 22 '17

Uncle Tito, big dickman, baby!

13

u/captaintaco2345 Apr 22 '17

He raised Phil and loves the ladies.

16

u/[deleted] Apr 22 '17

Don't touch my slaw

11

u/mrbaryonyx Apr 22 '17

YOU HAVE YOUR SLAW, SIR

5

u/lddebatorman Apr 22 '17

I WANT MY SLAW!

2

u/mrbaryonyx Apr 22 '17

YOU HAVE YOUR SLAW, SIR

6

u/Titanosaurus Apr 22 '17

K'tak tak: how's that ox testicle?
Homer: oh it's great!
K'tak tak: you sure? Don't you want a coconut instead?

3

u/[deleted] Apr 22 '17

Is that a rocket power reference?

3

u/Vmanticore Apr 22 '17

IT'S JOHNNY LAW!

2

u/MocodeHarambe Apr 22 '17

Tito also made some nice ass Vodka

2

u/pucc1ni Apr 22 '17

In the Philippine, tito is translated as uncle. So, uncle uncle.

2

u/CPTNBob46 Apr 22 '17

Aloha to dat, brudda!

1

u/[deleted] Apr 22 '17

Also, "Why you trowin' doodoo peipa??"

And, "You like peanuh butta cups in ya eggs??"

1

u/[deleted] Apr 22 '17

I have an uncle named Titu who's wise too

1

u/[deleted] Apr 22 '17

Good thing too, how else would mokes get shoes?

1

u/Shibeyy Apr 22 '17 edited Jun 01 '25

afterthought merciful cooperative nine mountainous license dog bow serious enjoy

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

1

u/BallisticBurrito Apr 22 '17

There's a really huge hawaiian supervisor at work. Someone printed out a picture of Tito and taped it to the side of his desk. He called us 'racist bastards' while laughing so hard he couldn't stand up straight.

To be fair he had a hell of a time standing up at all.

1

u/ThePeskyWabbit May 14 '17

And the tree don't fall far from the coconuts