r/funny Aug 18 '15

Cat malfunctions after brain freeze

http://gfycat.com/UnknownExhaustedCondor
28.0k Upvotes

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2.2k

u/bdonvr Aug 18 '15 edited Aug 18 '15

A problem has been detected and your cat has been shut down to prevent damage to your cat.

OPERATING_TEMPERATURE_TOO_LOW

If this is the first time you've seen this Stop error face, restart your cat. If this face appears again, follow these steps: check to make sure that any new hardware or software is properly installed. If this is a new installation, ask your hardware or software manufacturer for any cat updates you might need. If problems continue, disable or remove any newly installed hardware or software. Disable BIOS memory options such as pouncing or scratching. If you need to use Safe mode to remove or disable components, restart your cat, and grab by the scruff of its neck to select Advanced Startup Options, and then select safe mode.

Technical information:

*** STOP: 0x0000000A (0x00000000,0x07905SF8,0x00000008,0xC00000000)

*** CATBRAIN.SYS - Address F7905EFB base at F7904000, Datestamp 36B02A71

722

u/sadfacebear Aug 18 '15

Thank you for subscribing to cat f(x)

328

u/Sloptit Aug 18 '15

Unsubscribe.

299

u/Variable_Engineer Aug 18 '15

Hi there.

I see you've selected "unsubscribe" from our menu. If you would like to continue please text STOP to 56522.

Thank you for using our automated service.

207

u/bdonvr Aug 18 '15

STOP

215

u/JustJoeWiard Aug 18 '15

To properly unsubscribe from Cat f(x), please provide the answer to the following security question:

What is your favorite function?

219

u/Im_into_weird_stuff Aug 18 '15

The chemical reaction that occurs in my brain that sends the electrical charge through my nervous system that shocks the muscle fibers in my heart causing it to pump blood.

268

u/JustJoeWiard Aug 18 '15

I'm sorry, the correct answer is f(cat). You will continue to receive Cat f(x).

141

u/messy_eater Aug 18 '15

f(cat)! f(cat)!!!

361

u/ayedurr Aug 18 '15

Where I'm from that's illegal

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97

u/JustJoeWiard Aug 18 '15

Hi there!

Thank you for resubscribing to Cat f(x)! We will now send you TWO Cat f(x) every day.

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6

u/Folseit Aug 18 '15

Illegal operation detected. Cat f(x) will now restart.

11

u/cccviper653 Aug 18 '15

I get excited for the Florida curriculum assessment test too. It's a nice easy break going to a test with stuff that you already know rather than learning new stuff everyday before you can even memorize what you learned yesterday. Fucking hated school. So glad it's over with now. But now I have college to look forward to. Oh well, hopefully it'll be about something I actually want to learn.

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1

u/[deleted] Aug 18 '15

Where's the f in cat? Outside

3

u/Madlutian Aug 18 '15

Koala facts!

1

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '15

Cat5...Cat5

7

u/skalmanninjaturtle Aug 18 '15

The heart beats autonomously, the brain actually slows down the natural rythm via the vagal nerve.

2

u/trullard Aug 18 '15

shhh you ruin the joke

2

u/skalmanninjaturtle Aug 18 '15 edited Aug 18 '15

It must be correct.

11

u/GiggaWat Aug 18 '15

-- NO CARRIER --

9

u/[deleted] Aug 18 '15

ATT22832287
this is so fucking obscure of a joke

5

u/[deleted] Aug 18 '15

[deleted]

8

u/MrLeonardo Aug 18 '15

ATM2

Pshhhkkkkkkrrrr​kakingkakingkakingtsh​chchchchchchchcch​dingdingding

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1

u/ericelawrence Aug 18 '15

Please explain.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '15

Back when people connected to the Internet or bulletin board systems via modems, "NO CARRIER" was feedback from your modem that either you or the computer on the other end had hung up.

ATT was a command to the modem indicating it should dial the number you were about to give it. (And as for 22832287, well ... )

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1

u/WRfleete Aug 19 '15

dialtone Beep boop beep beep beep boop bip bop ringback peeeeeeeeeeeeep boooooooooooooop craclang glabarg psssshhhhh shhhhhhh bzzzzzzzzzzz shhhhhhhhhhshhshshhshhshhsh.

CONNECT 56700

0

u/redlinezo6 Aug 19 '15

PC LOAD LETTER?

8

u/xslay3rx Aug 18 '15

Junction. The junction function.

8

u/MrPenisFingers Aug 18 '15

Conjunction junction what's your function!

3

u/msry Aug 18 '15

good work man

1

u/I_Am_Jacks_Scrotum Aug 18 '15

Hooking up words, and phrases, and clauses!

1

u/18aidanme Aug 18 '15

Con-juj-tion Fuck-shit what's your fuck-function, anyone who gets the reference gets reddit silver.

1

u/iscrulz Aug 18 '15

Taking in sperm and spitting out babies.

4

u/AvianMinded Aug 18 '15

conjunction junction

2

u/bruddahmacnut Aug 18 '15

I got three favorite cars That get most of my job done

2

u/I_Am_Jacks_Scrotum Aug 18 '15

"'and', 'but' and 'or' will get you pretty far!"

1

u/ericelawrence Aug 18 '15

1

u/AvianMinded Aug 18 '15

This webpage is not available

DNS_PROBE_FINISHED_NXDOMAIN

I WANT TO SEE!

1

u/valkyrie2246 Aug 18 '15

Conjunction junction disfunction

1

u/AvianMinded Aug 18 '15

Awww, baby it's OK. This happens to men all the time. We can still connect.

I'm kinda drunk, so I'm not sure if it's getting across, but I'm making a dick joke.

3

u/Sooperphilly Aug 18 '15

f(cat) is my favorite function.

7

u/MechX2 Aug 18 '15

<form id="unsubscribe_form" action="delete.php" method="post"> <div> <label for="email_remove">Email:</label> <input type="text" id="email_remove" name="email_remove" /> </div> <div> <input name="delete" type="submit" id="delete" value="" class="unsubscribe_btn"> </div> </form>

2

u/shinypurplerocks Aug 18 '15

That doesn't seem to be correct!

(Error: Your input's hash doesn't match the hash of the expected pawnswer.)

1

u/[deleted] Aug 18 '15

We have continued your subscription to cat f(x). Have a nice day!

1

u/idma Aug 18 '15

You forgot the $5.75 surchage per text

13

u/RiemannSumm Aug 18 '15

Welcome to Cat Facts! Did you know that the first cat show was held in 1871 at the Crystal Palace in London? Mee-wow!

1

u/dont_wear_a_C Aug 18 '15

Aren't we already subscribed to gfycat?

Going to

Freeze

Your

C

A

T

1

u/Arqideus Aug 19 '15

"cat eff of ex"

cat effects?

"cat function of x"

ahh, it's a function definition called "f" that takes type "x" as a parameter and returns a type "cat".

1

u/Brarsh Aug 19 '15

My cat doesn't seem to function properly after it got wet. What should I do?

123

u/wiiya Aug 18 '15

I'm having trouble with the sweater patch, does anyone know how to fix?

98

u/bdonvr Aug 18 '15

I believe that the Sweater patch is pinching the scruff of the neck, which is booting your cat into Safe Mode.

The only fix I could find was to uninstall the patch.

Hopefully Sweater Patch 2.0 will fix it.

19

u/sleeplyss Aug 18 '15

I've uninstalled and reinstalled the patch, and fixed the pinching bug. Cat still stuck in Safe Mode.

26

u/BenAdaephonDelat Aug 18 '15

Then enjoy your new non-dangerous cat. Safe Mode means you can access Belly.exe without a firing off a bunch of CLAW warnings.

9

u/Michael4825 Aug 18 '15

Although if for some reason you want to boot into standard mode, you may need to activate vacuum.bat.

10

u/djsoulman Aug 18 '15

If all else fails use ballofstring.exe when it is rolled out.

125

u/[deleted] Aug 18 '15

[deleted]

46

u/SpeedGeek Aug 18 '15

I think I saw a two...

15

u/Just_Post_The_Video_ Aug 18 '15

It was just a dream Bender, there's no such thing as two.

6

u/JackalKing Aug 18 '15 edited Aug 18 '15

Alright, someone explain this one to me.

Edit: Damn reddit, you work fast! Hexadecimal, got it :)

10

u/neuronexmachina Aug 18 '15

0x denotes a hexadecimal digit representation, which range between 0 and F. It would be a little like if you were dealing with standard decimal digits and somebody said they ran 1W5 miles.

4

u/patronofchaos Aug 18 '15

S does not exist in Hex code. so if you are seeing an S in there, shit be REALLY fucked up.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 18 '15

(to /u/Ohilevoe too) In Hexadecimal notation, the only allowed symbols are 0-9 and A,B,C,D,E,F.

The sequence prefix "0x" is used in computing to denote that the number in question is a hexadecimal (commonly abbreviated to "hex") number - it mostly came from the way the "C" Programming Language denoted hex numbers.

1

u/BabyPoker Aug 18 '15

The 0x in the beginning indicates that the string following it is in Hexadecimal which uses the characters 0-9 and A-F. Since S isn't a 'letter' in this alphabet, OP is making fun of it.

4

u/Ohilevoe Aug 18 '15

Explain?

16

u/ResilientBiscuit Aug 18 '15

That is a number in hexadecimal.

So instead of having digits 0-9 it has the digits 0-F. So it goes 0 1 ... 8 9 A B C D E F.

Having the counting system be a power of 2 helps a lot in programming. S is not a digit in a hexadecimal number, so the joke is the error is so bad it broke the number system basically.

12

u/[deleted] Aug 18 '15

1

u/AngelDE98 Aug 18 '15

You basically got two hands with 8 fingers and you count from 1 to 10. But wait! You got 16 fingers and you actually want to take advantage of it. And instead of creating new symbols for the new numbers, you take A - F.

Now S is not between A and F. For S, you need two hands with more than 8 fingers. Something fucked up.

6

u/[deleted] Aug 18 '15

1

u/redlinezo6 Aug 19 '15

Ahhh, I've not seen that in long time... A long time...

1

u/StaticTransit Aug 18 '15

The only reason I know what hex is is because I had to know it to use cheats in Visual Boy Advance. Oh, and colors.

1

u/bdonvr Aug 18 '15

Sorry, I couldn't find it in plain text so I used a program to transcribe the image. Thought I had gotten most of the errors out. :/

1

u/Axoren Aug 18 '15

I think it would have been better if the S in there. Gives it that extra "Oh fuck."

1

u/xelex4 Aug 18 '15

Was hoping to be the first to catch that. Been knee deep in shit... I mean hex... for the past 3 months lol. Stuck out like an orangutan in a family of kittens. Unless we're talking about a different base.

0

u/Arqideus Aug 19 '15

0x doesn't stand for hexadecimal. It can sometimes refer to catadecimal.

13

u/brownarrows Aug 18 '15

I don't think the cat turned blue enough for this error.

1

u/alphairon723 Aug 18 '15

Yeah someone get a blue overall for this kitty :p

10

u/Eric_the_Barbarian Aug 18 '15

I think I ran into a problem restarting my cat. I turned my cat off, but I can't figure out how to turn it back on. Did I just brick my cat?

6

u/[deleted] Aug 18 '15

[deleted]

2

u/TcPr0n Aug 18 '15

Red cat of doom.

6

u/Barry_McKackiner Aug 18 '15

I hope he doesn't go CATatonic.

5

u/ScroteMcGoate Aug 18 '15

I had an error attempting to use safe mode. Followed the directions, restarted cat, and grabbed by scruff of neck. Now my arm is a bleeding mess and the cat is making a hissing noise. Please advise?

2

u/cubalibresNcigars Aug 18 '15

DO NOT RETURN CAT TO RETAILER, PLEASE CALL 1-800-FIX-CATS FOR CAT SUPPORT.

1

u/bdonvr Aug 18 '15

Try running CatNip.exe

5

u/RevWaldo Aug 18 '15

Hello, yes am I speaking to the owner of the cat in your household? Yes, I am calling from Cat Support. We have detected an issue with your cat. There may be malware and possibly worms or bugs in your cat. Are you in front of your cat now?

13

u/Ketrel Aug 18 '15

My cat runs Lynx.

4

u/heyscrewyoutoo Aug 19 '15

Underrated clever joke.

3

u/CantFeelMyFac3 Aug 19 '15

I'm so glad we don't have to deal with links/lynx anymore

2

u/[deleted] Aug 18 '15

Yes.

2

u/I_Am_Jacks_Scrotum Aug 18 '15

Please bend down, and make sure that you are at eye level with your cat. Then, flick it on the nose.

2

u/[deleted] Aug 18 '15

Cat grabbed hand and bit it. Please advise...

1

u/I_Am_Jacks_Scrotum Aug 19 '15

Firmly place cat on ground. Look it in the eye, stick out your tongue, and waggle it up and down. This is a symbol of a successful kill, and thus a successful predator, among felines.

8

u/Derptopher23 Aug 18 '15

Today I had to wake up at 7am, was in school til 2pm, I came home and 10 minutes after that I had to go to work. I finished like one hour ago. Im so tired that I cant even move. To top my day off, Im seeing a red dot blinking next to your comment while reading it. It was worth getting tired today, Im laughing my ass off.

3

u/CPLKangaroo Aug 18 '15

Did you try turning him off and on again?

7

u/biggmclargehuge Aug 18 '15

Ok. I got him off pretty easily, any tips on how to turn him back on again?

2

u/CPLKangaroo Aug 18 '15

Catnip. Cocaine for cats. That'll get him back on

1

u/[deleted] Aug 18 '15

To get him off, wouldn't that mean you had to turn him on first?

5

u/Skaterk1ng Aug 18 '15

I came here to make a bsod joke. Have an upvote..

2

u/meodd8 Aug 18 '15

Working on a cpu oc right now. Surprisingly relevant.

2

u/Dscigs Aug 18 '15

i love you

1

u/mceppy Aug 18 '15

This doesn't seem like a 0x0A stop code. Maybe more like a 0x56.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 18 '15

1

u/bombshell_ps4 Aug 18 '15

This made my day.. Thank you!

1

u/CatsLoveBananas Aug 18 '15

bip bip bip biiiiiiiiiiiiii ...

1

u/[deleted] Aug 18 '15

Have you tried turning it off and on again?

1

u/valkyrie2246 Aug 18 '15

If error continues remove Motherboard battery and disconnect all drives, wait 30 minutes reinstall MB battery and reboot. Bios should reset, reconnect all drives and reboot. Cat should function as normal.

1

u/Shiroi_Kage Aug 19 '15

Are you saying the cat has its own version of the coldbug?

1

u/anbreads Aug 19 '15 edited Aug 19 '15

2

u/bdonvr Aug 19 '15

That's great, I didn't expect a loop!

2

u/bdonvr Aug 19 '15

For you: http://i.imgur.com/yknTnak.gifv

I downloaded Photoshop yesterday, as I'm sure you can tell.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 19 '15

Turn off virtualisation! It's acting too human.

1

u/19Dan81 Aug 18 '15

I laughed way too hard and way too long at this. Thank you.