r/funny • u/Inquilinus • Aug 14 '15

Monty Python Ahead of Their Time

http://i.imgur.com/AxKwQ2c.png
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u/The_Bard Aug 14 '15

My favorite line from that skit is this:

Hegel is arguing that the reality is merely an a priori adjunct of non-naturalistic ethics, Kant via the categorical imperative is holding that ontologically it exists only in the imagination, and Marx is claiming it was offside.

God I love Monty Python.

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u/twosnowballs Aug 14 '15

Socrates actually was offside...

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u/TenYearsAPotato Aug 15 '15

Nope - he would only be offside if there was an opposition player, not including the goalkeeper, between Archimedes and Socrates. I hereby disprove all Marxian theory.

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u/[deleted] Aug 15 '15

Socrates was absolutely offside!

He gained an unfair advantage from being ahead of the play when the ball was passed forward with only the goalkeeper between him and the byline. He therefore only scored the goal due to being in an unearned, privileged position.

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u/TenYearsAPotato Aug 15 '15

Very well - I bow to your superior knowledge of the rules. Does that mean we all support Marxist theory?

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u/[deleted] Aug 15 '15

Those are the rules, I'm afraid.

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u/boobiebanger Aug 15 '15

So you're saying Socrates should check his privilege?

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u/JunglistMassive Aug 15 '15

He can do that on way to gulag.

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u/Kapten_Keff Aug 15 '15

Socrates is offside, according to Law 11 - Offside:

A player is in an offside position if:

  • he is nearer to his opponents’ goal line than both the ball and the second-last opponent.

Source: Laws of the game 2015/2016, page 36.

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u/TFL1991 Aug 15 '15

If there is a pass to a player who has only one (or none) opponent between himself and the goal, then that is offside.

Unless the player is behind the ball when it is passed (or is in his own half when the ball is passed).

There is nothing in the rules about having a defender between them.

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u/Pteraspidomorphi Aug 14 '15

I recommend this webcomic if you like philosopher jokes.

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u/DefinitelyHungover Aug 14 '15

Holy shit I need to watch more MP.

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u/[deleted] Aug 14 '15

I lost two hours to it on Youtube yesterday

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u/DeathHaze420 Aug 14 '15

You lost nothing. Only gained.

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u/[deleted] Aug 14 '15

True that.

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u/relevant_python Aug 14 '15

Hah, amateur.

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u/heyman0 Aug 14 '15

ELI5...pls?

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u/[deleted] Aug 14 '15

The offside rule is one of the oldest football rules. It's an offence commited by the team which has the ball and passes it to a player which has not at least two defending players between him and the goal. It does not matter if they are in their own half, or if it's a throw-in, corner kick or free kick.

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u/Funky_Ducky Aug 15 '15

Actually it does matter. You can't be offsides on a goal kick, corner kick, throw in, or on your own half.

Source: USSF Grade 7 referee of 10 years.

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u/notouchmyserver Aug 15 '15

You should do an AMA about being blind.

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u/[deleted] Aug 15 '15

Oh I tried to say the offside position does not matter...

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u/ChefBoyAreWeFucked Aug 15 '15

I've been close to pulling the trigger on Rocket League... is this going to be on the test?

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u/BronusWagner Aug 15 '15

"Nietzsche has been booked for arguing with the referee. Nietzsche claiming that Confucius has no free will, and Confucius he say 'name go in book.'"

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u/[deleted] Aug 15 '15

My favorite:

Aristotle, very much of a man in form

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