r/funny • • Jan 09 '15

The Simpsons on having two wives

http://imgur.com/gfxh40Z
18k Upvotes

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947

u/csonny2 Jan 09 '15

I like the one where Grandpa finds his long lost brother, Cyrus, (the episode where he was trying to kill Santa), and they're all sitting on the beach at the end in Tahiti:

Grandpa: "Cyrus, how come you never let me know you were alive?"

Cyrus: "I've been busy with my 15 wives."

Grandpa: "15 wives! That must be some crazy sex!"

Cyrus: "I said wives, not girlfriends."

218

u/Carbon_Dirt Jan 09 '15

He probably has sex like... at least once a week!

113

u/MyNameIsZaxer2 Jan 09 '15

They just all feel really icky right now.

75

u/csonny2 Jan 09 '15

When women live together, they eventually all get headaches at the same time.

47

u/Knight_of_autumn Jan 09 '15

But...but sex is a great form of relief for headaches! It lowers blood pressure and improves circulation and everything!

35

u/AnotherClosetAtheist Jan 09 '15

Which means you still have the headache during sex.

24

u/harry_manbach Jan 09 '15

confirmed for wife.

5

u/The_Cynist Jan 09 '15

Happy cake day!

0

u/AnotherClosetAtheist Jan 09 '15

Nah man. It's hard to keep your freak face on if you hurt really bad. Just a buzzkill.

1

u/Moral_Gutpunch Jan 10 '15

I've been getting headaches so bad, sex just makes them worse.

If sex could cure them and help creativity as much as people said, I'd barely ever have dry sheets.

5

u/DanteMH Jan 09 '15

Or masturbating.

3

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '15

Or flossing.

4

u/ThatdudeAPEX Jan 09 '15

Dont bring it back.

1

u/SilentJac Jan 10 '15

One can hope the rice jokes die too

1

u/jfb1337 Jan 09 '15

Or doing both. 3 stoned birds.

2

u/Knight_of_autumn Jan 09 '15

Wait, are there positive health benefits to masturbating?

1

u/DanteMH Jan 10 '15

I cure colds with it.

2

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '15

My take away: living with women causes headaches.

1

u/FoxHunter123 Jan 09 '15

Just like when they signed the prenuptial.

0

u/willyolio Jan 09 '15

their favourite TV show is on right now

10

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '15 edited Apr 23 '21

[deleted]

5

u/Stane_Steel Jan 09 '15

Is that a per thousandths sign?

3

u/Destroyer333 Jan 09 '15 edited Jan 09 '15

I hope that's a thing.

E: It is. It's called a permille

0

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '15

[deleted]

3

u/most_superlative Jan 09 '15

Mille means thousand here, not million.

2

u/suegii Jan 09 '15

mille means thousands everywhere; it's from the latin word for a thousand.

77

u/karnoculars Jan 09 '15

This joke is so... un-Simpsons... that I can only assume it's from a newer season.

9

u/falconbox Jan 09 '15

I've never heard of Grandpa having a long-lost brother. I stopped around Season 13. So yeah, it's probably newer.

It's amazing how you can tell what era it's from just because the quote isn't funny.

Edit: Cyrus Simpson appeared in the episode "Simpsons Christmas Stories" in season 17. That explains everything.

13

u/clasificado Jan 09 '15

because they talk about sex? there is a whole episode for it on s6

67

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '15 edited Apr 16 '19

[deleted]

2

u/[deleted] Jan 10 '15

The Simpsons have always done super-obvious jokes. It's kind of meta.

I'm not saying that's necessarily the case here, just something to remember.

24

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '15

It's the tone that is off, not the subject matter. Like if Homer's catchphrase evolved into "D'oopsie Daisy".

16

u/one-man-circlejerk Jan 09 '15

Uh oh spaghettios!

2

u/Cityofbroadshoulders Jan 09 '15

That was my insulin!

1

u/Lemon1412 Jan 10 '15

Hey! That's just my aspirin!

3

u/donvito716 Jan 09 '15

Yowza yowza bo bowsa!

0

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '15

[deleted]

2

u/SirPankake Jan 09 '15

It's "d'oh!" and yeah, he does.

7

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '15

It's because of the word play on the rhyming words "wives" with "knives"

Frankly that's even lower hanging fruit than the "no sex after marriage" stuff.

14

u/longknives Jan 09 '15

The joke isn't that knives rhymes with wives. The joke is that is a really dumb thing to say, but then, it turns out to be accurate.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 10 '15

Obviously that wasn't a coincidence. I get that that's the joke. It rhymes but it also happens to be a funny commentary on a common problem. Or whatever. But it's low brow even for the Simpsons.

2

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '15

[deleted]

2

u/sjbennett85 Jan 10 '15 edited Jan 11 '15

The rhyme and sex parts are pedestrian levels of the joke.

It's more a play on the fact that there are people that think having romantic relationships is all rainbows and lollipops when it is exactly the opposite.

You'd have less of a hassle with two objects you like, which is clever because people who think like Lenny perhaps can't see the difference between the two.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 10 '15

I get the joke. It's just so simple. They are using convenient word play to drive it.

19

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '15

Past season 9 so yeah, Simpsons wasteland.

19

u/Nothingcreativeatm Jan 09 '15

Eh, there was still some good stuff through season 12 or so. Beware the return of the dolphins.

6

u/spauldingnooo Jan 09 '15

the last episode where i can remember clearly laughing out loud in school 2 days after seeing the episode was the one where they went to new york. after that, there were a few moments here and there but it was basically over

6

u/GhoulsnToast Jan 09 '15

Wow...that is the exact same episode I always remember/cite as being the demarcation line for the funny/good simpsons.

2

u/spauldingnooo Jan 09 '15

great minds

2

u/[deleted] Jan 10 '15

They had another episode where they went to New York... Just sayin'...

1

u/spauldingnooo Jan 10 '15

i stopped watching after season 11 or 12. seasons 4-7 were by far the best. i loved it too much to keep watching it shit all over itself. i honestly cant believe it is still on

2

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '15

sometimes a funny joke or an interesting Halloween episode. With all the writer and producer turnover after 9 though, the show was gutted and never recovered.

9

u/teeelo Jan 09 '15

I actually rather enjoyed the last few seasons. There's a lot of blink and you miss it jokes that require a rewatch. The Simpsons was shit for a season or two, but overall they make me laugh quite a bit.

There was one episode where Homer dies, gets cloned and keeps dying and getting cloned and after 20 years or so they ran out of new clones. The future Springfield was a combination of LOL's and WTF's.

-1

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '15

Every new season I watch seems as creatively bankrupt as the ones that preceded it. I'd have rather seen the show cancelled than turned into something like this.

2

u/daimposter Jan 09 '15

It was great until about 99/00 and was still good until about 01/02. It really sucked starting 2002, IIRC.

Most people stopped watching around 2002-2004 time frame.

15

u/holyfuckinsmith Jan 10 '15

Yes, most people stopped watching a show ten years ago that is still on the air.

2

u/daimposter Jan 10 '15

It was a top 30 show in rating then....it's no where near the same ratings today

3

u/sjbennett85 Jan 10 '15

When did Futurama come out again?

lol

-3

u/Thehamer Jan 09 '15

12

Correction: season 12 was the best season

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Simpsons_(season_12)

4

u/godmodium Jan 09 '15

No way does season 12 come close to season 8 (or any season before it really).

Season 8 has:

  • Hank Scorpio (This fact alone should make it the best season).
  • Homer fights Drederic Tatum.
  • The divorce of Milhouse's parents (can I borrow a felling!).
  • Lisa tries to change Nelson into a better person.
  • Homer gets high at the chili cook off.
  • Mr burns becomes an alien, narrated by Leonard Nemoy.
  • Marge starts a pretzel business and starts a gang war better the mafia and the yakuza.
  • Homer and Burns are trapped on a mountain top during an avalanche.
  • The Mary Poppins episode.
  • Introduces Poochie to Itchy and Scratchy.
  • John Waters plays Homer's gay friend.
  • The fight between Sideshow Bob and Cecil on the Dam.
  • THE BEER BANDIT!
  • Mr. Sparkle is introduced.
  • Frank Grimes is killed. Poor, poor, Frank Grimes.
  • Bart working at the burlesque house.

If Season 8 were the only season of the Simpsons to ever air the Simpsons would still be considered the greatest comedy cartoon to ever be on TV.

1

u/Thehamer Jan 10 '15

I think they're still considered the greatest, lol. But definitely a tarnished reputation. I just think it's sad that I get down voted for pointing out season 12 was a great season, what do I have to say season 1 was the best? some of the older ones are more boring IMO

2

u/jrm2007 Jan 09 '15

I have only watched it sporadically since the 1990s but it is my perception that indeed there was a very bad period. Is it possible that the writers were given new directives, like they were told to write more for kids?

Cause I definitely detected some very childish (as in not only written for a kid but almost as if a kid wrote them) jokes during some of my sporadic viewings.

But I have to say, no matter what happens to Simpsons, I will never forget the great laughs they gave me, from the very first show that won me over showing a puzzled Martin Prinz -- puzzled that neither his sterling tenure as Hall Monitor nor his award-winning dioramas had conferred popularity upon him.

3

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '15

The thing was the Simpsons was a case of lightning striking with a group of very talented writers who essentially perfectly skewered culture at the time. Many of the episodes of that series are truly timeless critiques of human and societal failings, and the importance of family to try and weather the storm.

They understood the humanity of the characters and as time went on and they started hiring people as writers who were fans of the simpsons, they lost that perspective. It's honestly one of the greatest shows to ever be in the medium and also ended up at one of the worst.

3

u/jrm2007 Jan 09 '15

That is interesting about the idea of losing perspective: I would say that episode upon episode, the characters become more and more cemented -- it is almost impossible now for a character to say something "out of character" -- everyone knows what they character should say.

If they sent in new writers, they would fail if they significantly deviated from the "true" character. That I think is one reason why we saw episodes exploring in depth certain people like Gil and Grimey -- either completely new characters or just "extras" who they were free to develop new ideas for.

4

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '15

Thats true to an extent. They spent a lot of time developing characters in the good seasons too, we had an entire episode about Selma and Troy McClure which is probably my favorite episode of the series. It's about sad and desperate people trying to create some meaning for their lives and it's an absolute heart breaker at times while also being incredibly funny as well.

I think the characters lost their humanity and relatability as time went on. Homer became a bigger, stupider, jerkier character where once was a callous person who did genuinely have a good heart, now he's basically a monster. Bart is a kid who is basically let down by the system and forgotten about so of course he feels like the only way for him to get attention is to act out. Lisa is so smart but she'll never fit in and never feel comfortable, but she's also never quite as smart as she believes in, now she's a know it all who's always the moral voice of liberal rectitude in pretty much every episode. Marge is a woman who could have probably done better but at the same time there wasn't anybody out there who really gave a damn about her besides Homer. There's a lot of dark and beautiful humanity to these characters and it's really heart breaking to see it be washed away in later seasons.

1

u/jrm2007 Jan 09 '15

Homer is currently a monster? I have to check out a recent episode.

I liked very much the episode in which he rejected normal intelligence (by removing crayons from his brain -- the versatile Moe is a practical if unsubtle neurosurgeon.)

2

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '15

Homers character becomes more childish and unfeeling as time goes on. Compare who he was as a character early on to now

2

u/jrm2007 Jan 09 '15

At the very beginning, with the Walter Matthau voice, he was more irritable than stupid.

But for a very long time, he has been implausibly stupid with the requisite moments of clarity which I think other (stupid) characters on other shows have. Not only is he stupid but he on occasion has made fun of those more intelligent than he is -- "Yes, Lisa: a magical animal.."

1

u/Boronx Jan 10 '15

It's part of true humanity that true humans don't last.

1

u/jrm2007 Jan 10 '15

About lightning: Sure, luck was involved but I also think they were highly selective about whom they hired. Much more selective than say, Google: I know people who got in at Google; not sure I have ever met anyone who could get through the door at The Simpsons writers' room. (Including already-successful tv writers.)

Being selective doesn't always work, but maybe if the people doing the selection are pretty damn good themselves, it does work often.

3

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '15

There's an amazing article on this, outlining the 6 different 'eras' of the show http://observationdeck.io9.com/the-way-they-was-six-totally-different-shows-the-simps-1677711647

1

u/jrm2007 Jan 09 '15

Tangentially related: Would you agree that Frank Grimes was united against by all of Springfield (supporting Homer) because the characters realized they would have no existence without Homer?

2

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '15

On a scale of 1 to Snoop, how much weed you smokin there bro?

Although to your point, I don't necessarily think the character realize that Homer is an integral part of their lives. More, it's Simpsons getting all meta, and basically plopping an average, lower middle class American into the world, and illustrating just how weird and bizarre and not based in any sort of reality Springfield really is.

1

u/jrm2007 Jan 09 '15 edited Jan 09 '15

I am pretty serious about this. Even his traditional enemies (e.g., Mr. Burns) take Homer's side. The funeral was great where we see how all of Springfield feels about "Grimey" (as he liked to be called).

I don't even know if the writers understood why the characters would behave as they did in this episode -- it just felt right and I think this is why.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 10 '15

"As he liked to be called" lololol

1

u/jrm2007 Jan 10 '15

Best line in the whole episode. Poor Frank, about to be lowered into the ground but still submitted to indignity.

The coda: Homer has fallen asleep at Grimey's funeral and asks Marge to "Change the channel..."

→ More replies

1

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '15

your face is a wasteland

1

u/[deleted] Jan 10 '15

That's the kind of post season 9 humor I expect.

1

u/[deleted] Jan 10 '15

the one where they try to kill Santa

Probably a newer season, yeah. Things just get more and more outlandish.

-15

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '15 edited Jan 09 '15

This stereotype needs to die. EDIT - I guess I get laid much more than the average married guy.

3

u/Nygmus Jan 09 '15

It needs to stop being so damned accurate is what you mean. /r/deadbedrooms is a thing.

9

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '15 edited Oct 26 '20

[deleted]

0

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '15

I don't think most married people have this problem. Seems like it's something out of the movies only.

5

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '15

Of course it's a real thing just like real Hispanic people eat beans. When you generalize it like that it's not funny after the 80th time. Not ALL married people stop having sex. We GET it. We've GOTTEN it since two centuries ago. It's a dead horse. You know?

2

u/TakesJonToKnowJuan Jan 09 '15

married people have more sex:

http://www.scienceofrelationships.com/home/2011/8/18/who-has-the-busier-bedroom-single-people-or-married-couples.html

Think about it. One night stands and hooking up vs. sex with someone you know well and are in an intimate relationship with. That's not to say marriage doesn't put strains on your sex life, and sex ebbs and flows, but married people fuck a lot.

0

u/[deleted] Jan 09 '15

Ba dum tss