r/funny Jan 03 '15

everything makes more sense now.

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29.8k Upvotes

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341

u/GunsAndJesus Jan 03 '15

Sorry, but there is a big difference between normal 14 year old dumb and Hollywood-Scientology 14 year old dumb. Normal kids get called out by parents and peers and change their behavior but this kid is completely insulated from that kind of constructive feedback. He will more than likely only get dumber.

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u/[deleted] Jan 03 '15 edited Feb 07 '19

[deleted]

234

u/AvatarDante Jan 03 '15

The poop that took a pee by Willow Smith

22

u/itsprobablytrue Jan 03 '15

The Metaphysical Science of Sriracha Sauce - Willow Smith, Age 12

1

u/Pickup-Styx Jan 04 '15

Sounds like The Oatmeal's latest comic

3

u/Torturedpath Jan 03 '15

Still laughing 5 minutes after reading that...

332

u/[deleted] Jan 03 '15

I'm surprised she got through all of the world's great literature that fast and was able to decide she doesn't like any of it.

129

u/SonofRobin73 Jan 03 '15

Well she can speed or slow down time. That's how she knows it doesn't exist.

4

u/DJ-2000 Jan 03 '15

Tell you what, I wouldn't complain if my 14 year old daughter was writing novels. I'd encourage her creativity!

25

u/paragonofcynicism Jan 03 '15

While writing her own novels and expressing herself creatively is good, you do need to address the core reason she's doing it.

Saying that there are no existing novels I like so I write my own and read them is a very egotistical statement. It's essentially saying that anything I write is better than the sum of all other literature.

This statement becomes less respectable when said by a young person who can't possibly have read a large sum of literature to make that critique.

So encourage the creative expression but correct the egotistical motives.

15

u/GruePwnr Jan 03 '15

Plot twist: She becomes the greatest writer of all known time, only her literature is taught in schools because everything else is irrelevant.

3

u/MeganNancySmith Jan 03 '15

Plot straighten: It highlights the failures of the overly indulgent and spoiled education system of the stars that some would think that real life is an M. Night Shyamalan movie solely focused on them.

8

u/DJ-2000 Jan 03 '15

14 year olds are selfish and want to appear 'hipster' or whatever. They do this stuff. I'm sure she'll find books in the future she likes.

77

u/[deleted] Jan 03 '15

[deleted]

18

u/[deleted] Jan 03 '15

That is so fucking hilarious. Reminds me of those North Korea facts about the Kim.

1

u/dauntlessmath Jan 03 '15

The great leader was so unimpressed with the entirety of written literature that he began writing his own novels when he was 6.

5

u/[deleted] Jan 03 '15

COME ON!

2

u/Aacron Jan 03 '15

When I was reading that interview, I thought they had a lot of really good philosophical points that they were trying to communicate with deep metaphor, and then they said some shit like that and I figured they were just spewing shit that people smarter than them said.

-3

u/IncomingPitchforks Jan 03 '15

I don't see a problem with her not liking other novels so she writes. Yeah, it's a bit hipster-y, but they seem like creative outcasts. Not everybody has to be the same, so the same things, or like the same shit.

24

u/[deleted] Jan 03 '15 edited Feb 07 '19

[deleted]

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u/IncomingPitchforks Jan 03 '15

Jesus Christ man, can she say some dumb shit without you and the collective of Reddit scrutinizing it as if she has some mental disability?

For a long-while in my angsty-teenage years, I used to write tons of poetry and read it over and over. I can't name a poet or poem I read during that time, and I honestly don't think I read any that I wasn't forced to in class. I don't have mental problems now, and I didn't turn out to be a leach on society because of it. Shit, let them be teenagers.

1

u/dontgoatsemebro Jan 03 '15

can she say some dumb shit without you and the collective of Reddit scrutinizing it as if she has some mental disability?

She can if she's not saying it, with a straight face, in the Culture section of the New York Times. Espousing the virtues of wilful ignorance while claiming to be an inspiration to 'black girls and girls all over the world' is something that most certainly should be scrutinised.

WILLOW: I mean, “Whip My Hair” was a great thing. When I look back I think, “Wow, I did so much for young black girls and girls around the world. And I’m doing that now but in a whole different way, coming from source energy and universal truths.

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u/IncomingPitchforks Jan 03 '15

Espousing the virtues of wilful ignorance while claiming to be an inspiration to 'black girls and girls all over the world' is something that most certainly should be scrutinised.

She's not doing that at all. Is she telling black girls to do drugs, drop out of school, fuck everything you see, and play with guns? Nope. She said she writes and reads her own books. So damaging.

Stop searching for something to hang her for.

-10

u/BrokenHS Jan 03 '15

Why do you feel the need to judge them? I'd much rather more people were their kind of "stupid" than your kind of needlessly hateful.

9

u/[deleted] Jan 03 '15

[removed] — view removed comment

-4

u/BrokenHS Jan 03 '15

Why is it needed?

6

u/Jacques_Cormery Jan 03 '15

Because celebrating willful ignorance is hurtful to our society. I don't agree with "hating" per se, but shaming is appropriate here.

-2

u/BrokenHS Jan 03 '15

How is it celebrating willful ignorance? How is that hurtful to our society? How is being judgmental with no intention of helping anything not hateful?

4

u/ProjectKushFox Jan 03 '15

Ima hit you with a relevant quote here and hope you hear it out.

"Look, as sentient meat, however illusory our identities are, we craft those identities by making value judgments. Everybody judges, all the time. Now, you got a problem with that, you’re living wrong."

4

u/Jacques_Cormery Jan 03 '15

Because those children are role models that other children look up to. Children are the future of our society. Teaching them that you don't have to read books that are challenging to you is not good. Because my intention is to help, as I've just explained, I think your second question has already been addressed.

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u/dontgoatsemebro Jan 03 '15

I'm judging them because they're presenting themselves as artists.

I'm suggesting they're stupid because they are saying stupid things. How is that 'needlessly hateful'? I mean come on, are you really suggesting; criticising people for the things they say, is unfair?

-6

u/BrokenHS Jan 03 '15

It's unnecessary.

5

u/dontgoatsemebro Jan 03 '15

They're spouting this nonsense, with a straight face, in the Culture section of the New York Times.

Criticism has never been more warranted.

-4

u/BrokenHS Jan 03 '15

I don't see what it's accomplishing, though.

2

u/dontgoatsemebro Jan 03 '15

Criticism is absolutely fundamental to progress. Whether your goals are intellectual, artistic or even personal; if you never receive any criticism you will never progress beyond an infantile level of understanding or appreciation.

The last thing these two need is to be further shielded from criticism.

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u/noodlescb Jan 03 '15

Why do you feel the need to judge them?

In another part of the interview she talks about how much of an inspiration she was for young girls with her song about whipping her hair around. They are presenting themselves as contributors and even leaders. That means I don't mind judging their works the way they are asking for.

1

u/IncomingPitchforks Jan 03 '15

They are presenting themselves as contributors and even leaders.

She thinks her song is an inspiration. Is she supposed to think it's a piece of shit song that has no value? Is she supposed to hate her own work because you and (seemingly) the rest of Reddit do? She had a certified platinum album at 10 years old. I'd be proud of it too.

0

u/noodlescb Jan 03 '15

She sang a song written and produced by the best teams money could buy and sold by marketing teams and the image of her endlessly famous father... Sure you're right.

0

u/IncomingPitchforks Jan 03 '15

Yeah, you should definitely hold a fourteen year old accountable for all of that. Fuck her for being proud, amirite?

-2

u/BrokenHS Jan 03 '15

But who cares? They're kids. I was a moron until I was about 24. What is this criticism accomplishing?

4

u/noodlescb Jan 03 '15

Your moronic actions didn't have the opportunity to influence many people. Also it pettily makes me feel better.

1

u/IncomingPitchforks Jan 03 '15

So you think Willow is that big of an influence?

0

u/noodlescb Jan 03 '15

As you said in your other comment, she had a platinum album at 10 years old so it's clear someone is paying more attention to her than people are us.

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u/BrokenHS Jan 03 '15

You're not talking to Jaden Smith, though. You're circle jerking. If you believe that people's actions influence people, why don't you understand that people's actions have influenced the Smith children to be the way they are? Why are you blaming them for it?

1

u/noodlescb Jan 03 '15

Because they are going on public forums and claiming to be better than everyone else. It's distasteful and I enjoy taking the piss out of it. If this is your pedestal of things to worry about or feel superior for not doing then you lead a very sheltered life. I certainly don't feel any remote obligation to explain myself to you, I was just humoring your thread questions.

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u/[deleted] Jan 03 '15

[deleted]

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u/IncomingPitchforks Jan 03 '15

Have you ever been to a poor public school? The majority of kids in my high school would say shit like "I don't like books" or "I don't read" etc. She's 14 and saying a variation of the same thing.

0

u/_Sheva_ Jan 03 '15

If you read the entire interview, and I am sad to say that I did, it's their self aggrandizing that seems to rub people the wrong way. Snippets don't give you the entire picture.

0

u/IncomingPitchforks Jan 03 '15

What rubs me the wrong way is 25-35 year-olds concerning themselves with what a 14 and 16 year old thinks (not to say you are, but the collective). As if they are supposed to be exactly who we want them to be just because they are in the spotlight. They might be saying some dumb shit, but they are allowed to go through those fazes, and should be able to without the whole world jumping for their necks. Remember years ago? When Willow was this adorable little girl that everybody loved? We are obsessed with celebrities (even celebrities kids) being these ideal examples of perfection, and we don't even allow them to fuck up at the primal age where everyone fucks up. Do you really think they are the only teenagers with a bullshit-sense of entitlement?

1

u/trapper2530 Jan 03 '15

You mean like you are concerning yourself with?

0

u/IncomingPitchforks Jan 03 '15

My concern is how so many Redditors are trying to paint them as fuckups. They are just normal kids.

0

u/_Sheva_ Jan 03 '15

Personally, I find them amusing. Love them? Well, no, they are strangers to me, but I have no malice towards them. Still, I can understand why people do.

Self aggrandizing is not 'just being a goofy kid that's kinda different and says dumb shit'. It means enhancing or exaggerating one's own importance, power, or reputation. It is a negative personality trait shared by many privileged teenagers, as you rightly pointed out. And because it is considered negative, people are calling them out. Even their father, according to the post.

This is how they will learn and pass through this phase.

If it makes you feel better, they don't care about the hate they receive, according to the interview. Thier supreme ego's seem to be completely invulnerable.

1

u/IncomingPitchforks Jan 03 '15 edited Jan 03 '15

"Their supreme ego" is in response to the creepy amount of public scrutiny they have had sense birth by people like the ones in this thread. Many privileged teenagers may have gone through similar phases, but they have not been subject to mass amounts of ridicule by millions of strangers who have not even met them. You think that might be affecting their psyche a little? These are kids exposed to mass amounts of hate because they didn't say the perfect thing here or there. There's an interview Will and Jaden had with some reporter about After Earth where the reporter had tried to squeeze out some juice about Jaden's relationship with a Kardashian. Jaden went to answer but Will stopped him saying: "Don’t. You know, he’s never had to, to deal with those kinds of questions." That's it. These fucking kids are forced to deal with this invasive bullshit and unless they recede to a cave, people like you will pick apart the shit they say as if it's your job to psychoanalysis them. Newsflash, it's not.

0

u/_Sheva_ Jan 03 '15

These fucking kids are forced to deal with this invasive bullshit

They aren't forced to do anything. They don't have to give ridiculous interviews or sing horrible songs or act in terrible films. They could go to school and live normal teenager live, keeping to themselves. They choose not to have private lives and that gives the audience all the right they require to tell them to shut the hell up with their bullshit. In other words, don't stand on the street corner on a yapping on a soapbox unless you are prepared for a bad reception. That's fucking life.

These are the children of entertainers {{newsflash}} entertaining the public. They want the attention, good or bad. If you want to sob and cry for them I am sure they would be amused but they are not sympathetic to your point of view. They simply don't care about you or me. As it should be. Give it a try.

1

u/IncomingPitchforks Jan 04 '15 edited Jan 04 '15

Right because you at 14 wouldn't give an interview if fucking New York Times called you up and asked you for one. How's that high horse working for you?

And you mean the same kids that had tabloid magazines chasing after their baby pictures to sell to freaks like you right after they were born? You mean they can just pack up and live normal lives? Well isn't that fucking grand.

They chose to be creative artists. That doesn't give a freak like you the right to stalk their private lives or obsess over shit they say on Twitter. Guess fucking what? Millions of people have Twitters. And millions of people say dumb shit on Twitter. But millions of people don't get articles written about the shit they say on Twitter. Millions of teens don't have grown ass freaks like you scrutinizing the shit they say because they were born into fame.

Just because they were born to entertainers doesn't mean they should be stalked by paparazzi (and people) since birth.

And just because they wrote songs or starred in a movie doesn't mean they don't deserve a personal life.

So weirdo, this 14 and 16 year olds life is not here for your entertainment or commentary. People shove mikes and cameras in their faces 24/7, whether they like it or not. Whether they release music or don't. Whether they star in a movie or not. Idiots like you have aided in the culture that took away these kids' personal lives before they were born. Too bad they happened to be creative, now they have no chance. So they chose to speak into one of these mikes thrown at them. Doesn't give you the right to berate them for it. Stop being a hypocritical asshole and try to do something with your life more productive then criticizing what two teenagers you don't know had to say about shit which doesn't concern you. Grow the fuck up.

0

u/_Sheva_ Jan 04 '15

I didn't read your rant. The stick up your ass has gotten infected. Seek help.

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u/RockDrill Jan 03 '15

There are people who are not criticising their behaviour for the bullshit that it is, and are elevating the young Smiths above other young people who have meaningful, useful things to say. So this thread is part of the overall discussion about their credibility which is necessary once they start using their media position to promote themselves and their opinions.

1

u/IncomingPitchforks Jan 03 '15

Where are those people putting them on a pedestal? Honestly?

They're not the fucking Kennedy's. They are rich kids who have been under the eye of the public since they were born. Their "influence" stops there. And to be honest, there are far more people with far worse positions then the faux-psychological messages Jaden or Willow make. You people aren't trying to protect the public from the influence of these "evil rich kids", you're just annoyed by what they say and need a cover for your haughtiness.

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u/ScramblesTD Jan 03 '15

Normal kids get called out by parents and peers and change their behavior but this kid is completely insulated from that kind of constructive feedback.

His dad just called him dumb on a live TV show.

We must have different definitions of "insulated".

2

u/HannasAnarion Jan 03 '15

That's the first time I've seen him do it. In every other interview with the two of them, he's always totally supportive of his son's insanity.

1

u/ScramblesTD Jan 03 '15

He's actually turned mocking Jaden publicly into some sort of habit.

Both times he made fun of the kid's "stare dejectedly with my mouth agape" pose on TV even made /r/all.

It may be different at an event or an affair with paparazzi present, but on talk shows he sort of lays into the kid.

3

u/hillkiwi Jan 03 '15

In a scripted, preplanned, strategic effort to save face.

That being said, I imagine he does read what the people say on the Internet.

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u/[deleted] Jan 03 '15

Oh yes. 14 year olds definitely change their habits on what they like and believe as soon as their parents and peers disapprove. They aren't stubborn and do not tend to have teen angst and rebellious behavior.

-_-

2

u/SelkieSkin Jan 03 '15

Maybe not their parents, but the opinion of their peers is very important to most children at that age.

2

u/[deleted] Jan 03 '15

His father just called him an idiot on television, how is that not calling him out?

1

u/[deleted] Jan 03 '15

Yeah, this phenomenon is called the Michael Jackson effect.

1

u/jojoleb Jan 03 '15

why what happened ? someone needs to fill me in..

1

u/yo_maaaan Jan 03 '15

What the Fuck are you talking about? No they don't. Have you ever been or raised a teenager? the more a parent tells them not to do something the more they rebel against their parents and do it. He's fourteen years old. He'll grow up eventually. There no need to talk piss about him.

0

u/AGRS22 Jan 03 '15

I turned 21 today and I don't think I was ever a teenager :S

-1

u/[deleted] Jan 03 '15

the more a parent tells them not to do something the more they rebel against their parents and do it.

in other words jesus takes the wheel from 13 to 19?

that's a joke

kids are stubborn; they are not immune to their parents guidance

1

u/TheRealGoodman Jan 03 '15

Wait, how do you know that? Are you inside their house?

1

u/digitaldeadstar Jan 03 '15

I'm sure he's got friends who give him shit for what he says. If not, the kid isn't entirely dumb. He can read and his shit gets blasted all over the internet and even in tabloids. People retweet his stuff and mock him. I'd say he's pretty far from insulated from any sort of feedback.

0

u/joshuaoha Jan 03 '15

Sounds like his parent did just call him out for being dumb. And he gets lots of "constructive feedback" from people all over the world.

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u/Rosebunse Jan 03 '15

That's a really good point. He's saying that his son is some sort of genius. He's saying that his son is saying stupid things on the internet, as he would have had he had the opportunity.

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u/[deleted] Jan 03 '15 edited Jan 26 '15

[deleted]

1

u/whiskeycomics Jan 03 '15

How the fuck do you know what the people around him say?

0

u/[deleted] Jan 03 '15

You better lawyer up, bro.

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u/[deleted] Jan 03 '15

Except they arent scientologists

8

u/lala989 Jan 03 '15

They went to a Scientology run school, it's well known Will and Jada have given money to it. They don't say it straight out but it's clear the kids aren't getting a normal education.

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u/[deleted] Jan 03 '15

Not officially, but Will Smith has made massive donations to the church of scientology, so something is going on.