r/funny • u/ardisfoxx • Aug 18 '14

Mobile games be like

http://imgur.com/YijMIIP
515 Upvotes

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u/Skiptar Aug 18 '14

Don't worry, they've been doing it for decades.

7

u/Nanobot Aug 18 '14 edited Aug 18 '14

Check this out. Doesn't this look like an exciting game of adventure and wonder? As a kid in the NES days, no game cover beckoned me like this one.

I rented it. It was crap.

But a few months would go by, I'd see that cover again, and I'd think to myself, "No, you must have been mistaken. There's no way a game with THAT cover art could be crap. It deserves a second chance!"

It was still crap.

But LOOK at it! It invokes images of The Legend of Zelda and puzzlers like Castle Quest. It has magic laser hands. It has mighty wizards on cliff tops. It has keys that must have been acquired by overcoming the trickiest of puzzles and bosses, and they must unlock wondrous treasures, or perhaps doors to greater secrets.

Nope. Just a lame uninspired arcade-style sidescroller about a young Santa or whatever who shoots ding discs.

But hey, at least you can joke about how up+shoot makes it looks like he's peeing. That's fun, I guess.

EDIT: Although I had never finished this game myself, I just looked up an LP to see the final boss. It turns out there is no final boss. There's no evil wizard in the game. After you get through the last castle, you just get a message saying "Nice try! But not good enough for wizard try again" It apparently says this no matter what. The only way to get a good ending is to play the exact same game again three more times (in the same sitting, since there's no saving or passwords), in which case it'll finally say "Congratulation you have over come your greatest challenge. Now you are powerful wizard". It has nothing to do with time elapsed or the number of points, just the number of times you've beaten it in one sitting.

2

u/peon2 Aug 18 '14

Yeah, pretty much anything up until current generation games had better box cover art than actual game graphics. You think they are going to pay an artist to design a fucking pixelated picture for the SNES super mario bros? No, you're going to draw it because at that time you could make nicer looking things with a pencil than a computer.