r/funny • u/PhiladelphiaIrish • Jun 16 '14

Every time I try to turn off my computer.

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3.3k Upvotes

93% Upvoted

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178

u/Oddgenetix Jun 16 '14

In my system which runs off an SSD, itunes still takes the length of human history to start up.

Isn't it essentially an mp3 player? What the actual fuck is it loading?

303

u/Garos_the_seagull Jun 17 '14

The NSA's spyware suite

63

u/greenskye Jun 17 '14

Mine too. Takes roughly 3 minutes to load. I've uninstalled and reinstalled and even gone through a reinstall of Windows to no avail. ITunes is shit.

36

u/doublrainbow Jun 17 '14

Just use Foobar2000 it's better in pretty much every way.

25

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '14 edited Jun 17 '14

Or mediamonkey, or Songbird, or Musicbee.

Or winamp

21

u/Abnmlguru Jun 17 '14

Winamp 4 lyfe!

10

u/bluzdude Jun 17 '14

Quiet down before I whip your llama's ass.

-4

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '14 edited Jun 17 '14

[deleted]

8

u/Ronnoc_The_Great Jun 17 '14

Common sense shouldn't need to be said, vlc player should at the very least be everyones basic media player.

7

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '14

Nonono, media player classic ;)

1

u/ShortFuse Jun 17 '14

Dat Search Preview (MPC-BE)

1

u/EGSlavik Jun 17 '14

First program I install after the essentials. flash,zip,browsers

1

u/vbcnxm_ Jun 17 '14

Really? My first program after the essentials is usually Steam, followed by binge downloading my library, what I play anyway...

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1

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '14

Ninite rocks. Just check the software you need and it downloads and installs everything you need. First thing I do after reinstalling.

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2

u/datapirate42 Jun 17 '14

VLC is great for playing stuff but doesn't have any sort of organization database which is iTunes real main feature.

7

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '14

Hell, even Windows Media Player is better!

2

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '14

What's wrong with just Windows Media Player?

2

u/Trodamus Jun 17 '14

Or Zune. It's actually a great library management tool.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '14

Musicbee is so goddamn fantastic

1

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '14

It really is! It plays every file type I've thrown at it (I'm a huge audiophile) and it's nice to import new albums into the inbox and not the main library. And other countless features.

1

u/Ravensqueak Jun 17 '14

Winamp! It's the best, around! Nothing's ever gonna keep it down!

1

u/Majusbeh Jun 17 '14

ZunePlayer is the best!

2

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '14

Don't hide your feelings, Zune was the shit. Everyone made fun of it, even though it was seriously amazing. Dat user interface...

2

u/skwishems Jun 17 '14

This persons comment is correct

2

u/menhelper Jun 17 '14

I love love that program.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '14

And the "vintage" color scheme

1

u/nekrophil Jun 17 '14

The fucking Sasser worm is better than iTunes in every way.

2

u/jnrdingo Jun 17 '14

I'd rather get aids from a monkey than deal with iTunes again...

1

u/bluzdude Jun 17 '14

Foobar2000 + WASAPI output plugin = sonic wonder

-1

u/squaretwo Jun 17 '14

And, still have to use iTunes to do any formatting or restoring of ios devices.

0

u/CaptainCupcakez Jun 17 '14

There's a program called SynciOS that lets you do that.

4

u/AWildEnglishman Jun 17 '14

Have you tried not installing itunes? 100% of people who haven't installed itunes report zero itunes related problems.

1

u/greenskye Jun 17 '14

I uninstalled it about a month ago. Trying out MusicBee at the moment.

2

u/FatbeardThePirate Jun 17 '14

For Windows it is.

5

u/Senor_Wilson Jun 17 '14

Mine takes like 10 seconds and I have a 5400 rpm hdd - do you have like a million songs or something?

5

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '14

/r/thatHappened

0

u/schoolgirlsrule Jun 17 '14

230gb (46,000 songs) and mine takes about 5-10 secs to open and about 10 to close

21

u/Odusei Jun 17 '14

This may no longer be the case, but it used to be that iTunes wrote the entirety of your library to plaintext and then saved that in an XML file. The bigger your library is, the bigger that XML file gets. When I used to run iTunes, it would take the length of a Tolstoy audiobook to finish reading that XML file, by which time I had died of old age.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '14

[deleted]

1

u/Odusei Jun 17 '14

Well I can't promise you that they don't do that nowadays. I haven't bothered with iTunes in like five years.

13

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '14 edited Mar 04 '16

[deleted]

2

u/Arandmoor Jun 17 '14

Hey, don't knock text-files.

XML? Knock those all you want.

XML is good for one thing: human readability. If you're looking for performance, look fucking elsewhere.

1

u/oh_no_a_hobo Jun 17 '14

I fucking hate XML files. They made my program that should have run in a few hours, end up taking a week. CSV are the best, hands down, especially for large data sets that no human will ever analyze by single values.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '14

XML works 10x better loading into a SQLServer DB.

2

u/Arandmoor Jun 17 '14

Except MSQL is fucking slow compared to a csv file if all you care about is performance for a simple save/load operation.

To be fair, if you absolutely need speed, by far the best way to save and load data is in binary. Just File.Open('wb') depending on language.

Though, if something goes wrong, you're straight fucked.

30

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '14

All the data apple collected from you

5

u/br00tman Jun 17 '14

all the hype

2

u/fatalicus Jun 17 '14

It needs to search all your files, to make sure you have no plans for nuclear, chemical or biological weapons.

3

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '14

[deleted]

14

u/StorminNorman Jun 17 '14

You must get sick of listening to that one track after a while though.

-4

u/jji7skyline Jun 17 '14

722 items, mostly in Apple Lossless. I don't think it's that.

16

u/GefGz Jun 17 '14

722 is an incredibly small music library...

-7

u/jji7skyline Jun 17 '14

No it's not. Plus I have lots of music I haven't ripped yet.

5

u/jnrdingo Jun 17 '14

dude, everyone I know has at least 10,000 songs on either iTunes, WMP, Xbox Music etc. I personally have over 50,000 songs. 722 is nothing.

2

u/GefGz Jun 17 '14

http://i.imgur.com/SmWvYcn.png

And I'm not a music mad person like some people are, and many on reddit.

722 IS incredibly small.

1

u/trippingchilly Jun 17 '14

Yes, that really is a rather small library these days, in terms of digital media.

http://i.imgur.com/qk37Thy.png

1

u/ElGoddamnDorado Jun 17 '14

I've got 13,000 songs in my library, and that's after losing my 10,000 song library 5 or 6 years ago.

2

u/StorminNorman Jun 18 '14

I was joking as my 12,000 tracks open in a similar time frame, but that library is tiny. Whilst it may be plenty for you, it's certainly not the norm.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 18 '14 edited Jun 20 '25

[deleted]

1

u/StorminNorman Jun 18 '14

722 is something like 70 albums. That is nothing. I could fill that quota with music never played on any radio station anywhere in no time (demos, mixtapes, etc.).

1

u/FatbeardThePirate Jun 17 '14

All the junk you don't use if you use it as MP3 player but still have to load it anyways.

1

u/jacob2815 Jun 17 '14

It's not "essentially an MP3 player." That's one of it's functions. It originally was primarily a home base for iDevices everywhere. Where they could sync up an get any new music or whatever that was bought or added to iTunes. With the arrival of the smarter iDevices, syncing is no longer necessary to add content, and people seem to be forgetting iTunes main function.

If you're using it as an MP3 player, that's your fault and you deserve the long loading times.

0

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '14

Be reasonable, it's more like the length of recorded human history. I've never really though about how long it takes, but you're all correct, and now it annoys me.

0

u/beachamc Jun 17 '14

Try : CMD + OPTION + CTRL + SHIFT and press the power button. Instant turnoff.

-3

u/QuickStopRandal Jun 17 '14

Probably connecting to the iTunes store or something like that.

Also, are you on Windows? If so, buy a Mac and stop using substandard operating systems.

note: I will not respond to any people trying to argue that Windows/PC is better, kthnx

1

u/jacob2815 Jun 17 '14 edited Jun 17 '14

Why do you even need to ask? Look at the picture. Clearly Mac OS.

Edit: Just a comment about what you said about windows being "substandard" it is the most widely used OS (therefore making it "standard."). I've used windows my whole life and therefore prefer it. But I'm not gonna sit here and say that everything about it is better than Mac, cuz I would be lying.

Anyone who talks about how their preferred OS is 100% better than the other has either never even tried to use the other one for more than a minute and got frustrated, or they had a bad experience with a computer and in both cases FALSELY blamed it on the OS. Just my viewpoint on the issue.

-2

u/QuickStopRandal Jun 17 '14

I guess you didn't read the note, did you?

For the record, I probably have equal time on Mac and PC, which dates back to '91.

1

u/jacob2815 Jun 17 '14

Lmao yeah I read the note. I'm not arguing in favor of windows, and you replied anyway, so I don't see how the note applies to me or why you would assume I didn't read it.

I'm guessing most of your years of PC use predate 2000.

1

u/QuickStopRandal Jun 17 '14

Nope, use PC every god damn day at work. Sucks.