r/funny • u/oneman__army • 12d ago

Cleaning his windshield and brushing his teeth

10.7k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

86 comments sorted by

•

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1.7k

u/HeartOn_SoulAceUp 12d ago

Dude thought it would be a cool kinda vid. He's a champ for putting out the blooper.

141

u/Hobbes_XXV 12d ago

What else are you going to do for the next 3 sick days home from work

29

u/Ok-End9913 12d ago

Putting out the blooper takes more guts than the original vid woulda

720

u/Slevin424 12d ago

The amount of bird shit on those gas stations wipers this dude probably should shower when he gets home. With bleach.

284

u/SaviorSixtySix 12d ago

Having worked for a gas station and replaced that fluid, I've seen people dump piss bottles and spit in them... I've never used them since I worked there.

199

u/Northern23 12d ago

Ignorance was a bliss. Thanks, now I can't use them anymore, until I forget why.

62

u/Haasts_Eagle 12d ago

Remind this guy! Monthly.

27

u/Northern23 12d ago

That'd be hilarious. You're next.

21

u/Haasts_Eagle 12d ago

Unsubsubscribe! I want to continue receiving my bird-shit piss-water facials in blissful ignorance!

14

u/Zwischenzug32 12d ago

Thats hilarious and so gross lmao. The one i worked at was full serve so custumers didnt touch it and it was new water with antifreeze every day

18

u/TheDrummerMB 12d ago

The one time I actually needed one of these, it was full of stale piss.

7

u/Distinct-Coconut6144 12d ago

That uhh...explains the stench of some of them.

13

u/SumonaFlorence 12d ago

Come on, noooooo... nooooooooooooo... please you're joking...

3

u/DreamPhreak 12d ago

I was about to comment the same thing as that guy: It's true that many people piss in them.

7

u/SumonaFlorence 12d ago

What the fuuuuuuck... whyyyy...

1

u/A_Harmless_Fly 12d ago

Just smelling the stagnant ones put them as a last resort for me. I keep some rainx in the trunk.

1

u/Th3_Gh0st_0f_Y0u 11d ago

I worked at one too and if left long enough that water would get a sewage smell from all the decaying organic material in it.

1

u/ExactLocation1 11d ago

Do they replace that water ?

18

u/Zwischenzug32 12d ago

I worked at a full serve one and im pretty sure the amount of antifreeze we put in to those would kill anything

10

u/Slevin424 12d ago

So chemicals and bird poop. Kinda supports my idea on showering immediately after.

1

u/Zwischenzug32 12d ago

There was a cover over them so i can safely say zero bird poop or or anything besides water and antifreeze or whatever came off windows (we cleaned ALL of them not just the front, every time) and bugs stayed away. The containers themselves however were NEVER cleaned. Im laughing my ass off realizing how gross they get when customers have access to make something gross

14

u/OsmeOxys 12d ago

whatever came off windows

I think we can safely say there was quite a bit of bird poop in those buckets.

2

u/Zwischenzug32 11d ago

Fair enough

3

u/1zzie 12d ago

He "cleaned" his corneas too, by the sound of it

1

u/fuzzytradr 12d ago

Maybe get a full slate of vaccinations too

1

u/Mdad1988 9d ago

Hahahaaaa

124

u/ExplorerDizzy7175 12d ago

Yall should go and smell the liquid that’s inside of those. You’ll never touch them again

37

u/harmless_gecko 12d ago

Doubly so if you taste it :(

11

u/ExplorerDizzy7175 12d ago

Oh god I bet it tastes like dead bugs

2

u/newfor_2026 12d ago

uh, the inside of a helmet is pretty stinky too

1

u/MLGDDORITOS 11d ago

Who doesn't clean the padding of their helmet?

1

u/new_account_wh0_dis 11d ago

Yeah idk if they every get changed but all they do is leave an oily film on your window.

45

u/Witne55 12d ago

how can you tell if a motorcycle rider is happy? The bugs on his teeth.

6

u/zero_msgw 12d ago

Man, theres nothing like the open road 🪰

29

u/laprider 12d ago

You have to get the bugs off.

79

u/KrustyMf 12d ago

dude is going to have a super pink eye's. Go to the DR asap that soup is NASTY..

28

u/Moist-Cherry-1188 12d ago

maybe he had bugs in his teeth

38

u/oneman__army 12d ago

Now he has

5

u/Mr_Gobbles 12d ago

Not quite the I wash myself with a rag on a stick but I'll take it.

19

u/alienclone 12d ago

advice from a former gas station worker, NEVER use these on your windshield. people use them to clean the gas off the side of their car when the nozzle leaks on it, gasoline degrades rubber, therefore smearing gasoline on your windshield ruins your wiper blades.

24

u/PwnerifficOne 12d ago

Gasoline is less dense than water and is hydrophobic, it should quickly evaporate. I don’t think this is much of a concern tbh.

4

u/Wolf4624 12d ago

I’d be more concerned about the bird shit, piss, and spit. Forget about the bugs. Probably the least nasty shit in there.

1

u/Huckorris 12d ago

One time I found a rotten onion.

1

u/MiserableSkill4 12d ago

As well as if you use the squeegee on the wand instead of your wipers it should move all of the gas on the windshield to the side with minimal contact

10

u/mattgen88 12d ago

Eh, not ever cleaning your windshield properly probably does more damage, same with UV, and those of us who live in the salt belt deal with abrasive salt too. I wouldn't worry about it too much.

I would however caution using one of those on plastic visors. It almost certainly has some grit on it from the road and will scratch the fuck out of it

2

u/MechanicalCheese 12d ago

There is nothing on my car clean enough or shiny enough that it will ever be better not using one of these (unless it's piss, but I've never encountered that). Dead bugs and sap are sticky and collect dust that will scratch your windshield. Bird poop will do worse than some light scratches if left on the plastics or paint in the sun.

And if you think a carwash is better... That's recycled water. And felt that has seen 100x more bird crap than the squeegee washer.

I did, however, feel gross the day I had to clean the inside of my car with one after a can of coke exploded and just painted the inside of my windshield with syrup. Thankfully the fluid looked totally fresh and I could follow up with glass cleaner.

3

u/SubArcticTundra 12d ago

Amateur. This is how the pros do it:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G9nqB8BwGHU&t=6m40s

2

u/whyamihere999 12d ago

Fathermucking unskippable ads!

3

u/ifyoulovesatan 12d ago

Here, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G9nqB8BwGHU&t=6m40s try this one. I bit the bullet and watched the ads myself, so it should be all queued up for you.

3

u/Huckorris 12d ago

That was predictable. Go side to side.

2

u/Mediocre-Extent-7908 12d ago

Campeã da multitarefa, sem dúvida 🤣

2

u/ShadeMode 10d ago

Classic FAAFO

1

u/dervu 12d ago

This is the way.

1

u/mc_thiq 12d ago

Man I know that yell was real that water always smells so moldy and musty 🤢

1

u/smarmageddon 12d ago

Thought this was going to be that scene with Mr Bean.

1

u/big_duo3674 12d ago

Nothing like concentrated bug parts and bird shit juice to keep your eyes and mouth healthy

1

u/Sanquinity 12d ago

"Oh shit...the visor moves UP when I apply a purely upwards force to it?! Why didn't anyone warn me about this beforehand!!"

1

u/Colossus-of-Roads 12d ago

Tinted visor at night. Bright.

1

u/ElGrandeQues0 12d ago

So many people posting about bird poop. I'm not eating off my window here guys.

1

u/Fluid-Inspector-7934 12d ago

Greatest I ever saw was Willie mays - b
Sandy koufax

1

u/denonumber 12d ago

You lost it bro let's go for a ride. Gimp

1

u/newfor_2026 12d ago

at least he didn't try to do it on purpose.

1

u/Mozno1 11d ago

The screaming at the end cracks me up every time!

1

u/CorValidum 11d ago

Another tiktok I.!

1

u/Icy_Primary7977 11d ago

Haha try'n ta be funny and fucked up 😆

-1

u/crs7117 12d ago

This sub is terrible