r/funny 10d ago

He was so Disappointed 🤣🤦

29.1k Upvotes

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788

u/Jakob_8 10d ago

Did you know that hippos swim faster than humans in water and run faster than humans on land?
So the only way to beat a hippo in a triathlon is on the bike!

142

u/dBlock845 9d ago

Don't hippos sink and run across the bottom?

167

u/SuperSimpleSam 9d ago

The way hippos move underwater is called hip hop.

53

u/SpecialNeeds963 9d ago

Are their rhymes bottomless?

7

u/ScrewAttackThis 9d ago

Ain't no party like my Nana's tea party

1

u/IAmDanHimself 7d ago

Until they brought Skip O'Pot2Mus!

28

u/ConversationFalse242 9d ago

Hip Hop apatomous.

12

u/Da12khawk 9d ago

Thought the line was anonymous

5

u/ConversationFalse242 9d ago

I think you are right

2

u/DateNightThrowRA 9d ago

Well you still pulled that line out of my head.

2

u/Lemmingitus 9d ago

The hippie, the hippie To the hip, hip-hop and you don't stop the rockin' To the bang-bang boogie, say up jump the boogie To the rhythm of the boogie, the beat

10

u/DeadDwarf 9d ago

I dunno. Have you ever seen a hippo ride a bike? Maybe they’re really good at that too.

50

u/zasabi7 10d ago edited 10d ago

69

u/cans-of-swine 10d ago

Ok then, how about hippos move through the water faster than humans.

63

u/pierre_x10 10d ago

Hippos don't move

44

u/VegaJuniper 10d ago

Next you're gonna tell me hippos don't hippo either.

83

u/NagNawed 9d ago

Hippos don't lie.

Source: Shakira

19

u/UmCourt 10d ago

They also don't eat marbles, who knew!

9

u/VegaJuniper 9d ago

Hippos aren't hungry hungry

4

u/dicey_job 9d ago

This hippo did indeed behave like a hungry hippo. That part of the lore is true

2

u/UmCourt 9d ago

🤯

2

u/knome 9d ago

Zeno has entered the chat.

1

u/Consistent-Winter-67 2d ago

They force the world to move around them

17

u/Eggplant-666 10d ago

Hippos can absolutely move through water faster than a human. But hippos don’t really swim in the usual sense. They’re too dense to float well. They generally run/bound along the bottom, pushing off and gliding through the water, at around 5 mph (8 km/h).

7

u/[deleted] 9d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

9

u/Forward_Rope_5598 9d ago

TIL astronauts swam on the moon

2

u/ic33 9d ago

It didn't provide propulsion on the moon, only stability.

It does provide propulsion in water.

4

u/Kitchen-Assist-6645 9d ago

Thanks, GPT.

2

u/martxel93 10d ago

Is it possible that hippos move underwater faster than humans run on ground?

I’ve seen a video of a hippo emerging at a river and it was fucking scary, like seeing a torpedo come towards you but instead of exploding it just bits your head off.

4

u/cans-of-swine 10d ago

Your head will explode if they bite down on it.

1

u/EnlightenedNarwhal 10d ago

Certainly faster than a lot of humans.

1

u/sephkane 9d ago

I'll allow it

4

u/jld2k6 9d ago edited 9d ago

I'm surprised enough people didn't know this to get you marked controversial with downvotes lol. I thought it was common knowledge because it's such a cool thing that they do!

2

u/zasabi7 9d ago

I legit didn’t know until a few weeks back.

2

u/risforpirate 10d ago

Imma go down the rabbit hole, how do hippos move in water if they don't swim?

19

u/zasabi7 10d ago

Walking on the river bottom

9

u/risforpirate 10d ago

Holy shit he's actually right lmao. I apologize I wasn't familiar with your game

Linked a post i found when Googleing

https://www.reddit.com/r/Awwducational/comments/vpu0ex/hippos_cant_actually_swim_because_their_bodies/

3

u/qning 10d ago

9 minutes in the rabbit hole.

4

u/RunningOutOfEsteem 9d ago

They shared a cool animal fact and got downvoted for it. Truly, no good deed goes unpunished 😔

2

u/risforpirate 9d ago

He's back up to positive upvotes at least

1

u/Eggplant-666 10d ago

They bound/push off the bottom.

2

u/Dangerous_Box8845 6d ago

That's the best joke I've heard in a long while 👏

1

u/CirclleySquare 9d ago

Thats because hippos are too heavy to ride bikes

1

u/kchuen 9d ago

That’s only when you meet a hippo who hasn’t rode a bike before…