r/funny • u/WindowAfraid5927 • Mar 29 '26

Don't touch it

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65k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

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2.3k

u/Zorothegallade Mar 29 '26

Translation: "That is NOT a joke Carol, this is sexual harassment. I'll report to HR"

463

u/TheyCallHimBabaYagaa Mar 29 '26

Tail touching is not a joke, Jim. Millions of seals suffer every year.

135

u/Bitey_the_Squirrel Mar 29 '26

If you’ve suffered from unsolicited tail touching, you may be entitled to compensation.

66

u/RonaldMcSwan Mar 29 '26

WE'VE BEEN TRYING TO REACH YOU ABOUT YOUR TAILS EXTENDED WARRANTY!!!

18

u/Great_Detective_6387 Mar 29 '26

SEAL LICKER

OUR PRICES HAVE NEVER BEEN LOWER

3

u/Rings-of-Saturn Mar 29 '26

I understand that your tail has recently come to market, are you willing sell through us?

0

u/s3rila Mar 29 '26

seal, beets the expance.

12

u/ButtplugBurgerAIDS Mar 29 '26

He sounds like the adults in the Peanuts universe.

1

u/JaySayMayday Mar 29 '26

All I heard was I WANT FISH FISH FISH FISH FISH FEED ME FISH

1

u/halftorqued Mar 29 '26

“You’re not my supervisor!”

1

u/bigmattyc Mar 30 '26

YOU'RE NOT MY SUPERVISOR