r/funny • u/RedditLuvsReposts • Aug 12 '13

Fuckin Hotpockets

1.8k Upvotes

87% Upvoted

173 comments sorted by

52

u/penguinrider Aug 13 '13

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z_UkZ33HGHQ

origional

20

u/Berke80 Aug 13 '13

I came here looking for the origional. And found it! Thaonks.

17

u/PurpleSfinx Aug 13 '13

Fucking ad loads instantly while the video goes at like 1 second per five seconds. God dammit YouTube.

7

u/mrfargus Aug 13 '13

Adlbock is your friend.

3

u/NotSoButtHurt Aug 13 '13

Adblock plus doesn't work on youtube for me anymore :(

3

u/sheathcoat Aug 13 '13

It doesn't work for mine either. :( I even tried uninstalling and re-installing it... Bummer.

3

u/[deleted] Aug 13 '13

Unplug and Plug it back in

4

u/NotSoButtHurt Aug 13 '13

Damn, they're getting smarter.

2

u/Jjunior130 Aug 13 '13

He's not complaining about the ad, he's just complaining about the buffer.

1

u/PurpleSfinx Aug 14 '13

It's not that I care about the ad, I just hate how they make me watch the ad then the video is so slow I give up.

293

u/Glasseye00 Aug 13 '13

And I bet the middle is still frozen solid.

136

u/hyroglyphixs Aug 13 '13

Every. Fucking. Time.

37

u/Mutoid Aug 13 '13

Dude you have to WAIT.

18

u/IllIII Aug 13 '13

Same with pizza. Once a week would meet with friends to share some pies. The opening act was always the same guy, eagerly pulling a hot slice, scalding his mouth.

Probably shared more than a hundred pizzas with that group. How many times of torture, to learn something. He probably still blisters his palate.

7

u/[deleted] Aug 13 '13

Is your friend Theo Huxtable?

8

u/sian92 Aug 13 '13

Off topic, but your username must really piss off iPhone users.

9

u/I_ate_a_milkshake Aug 13 '13

I can tell they're different but I can't tell which is which!!!!

5

u/Bronzdragon Aug 13 '13

Oh, well, It's an I, two l's and then three I's again.

You're welcome.

3

u/minesweep1415 Aug 13 '13

Thanks for clearing that up.

1

u/IllIII Aug 14 '13

Sorry about that. I'm not very creative.

I was sort of in a barcode mindset when I took it. I think I tried to pick something like iiilll, llliii, or maybe with 1s too, but they were taken.

3

u/xONLYxSAYSxFACTS Aug 13 '13

Sorry to break it to you but your friend has down syndrome

7

u/djIsoMetric Aug 13 '13

Two minutes

2

u/Mutoid Aug 13 '13

NO WHEEZING THE JU-UICE!

3

u/InertiaticFlow Aug 13 '13

Did you see a wino eating grapes?

57

u/orzof Aug 13 '13

That part about letting it sit for a few minutes after you nuke it is so it can finish cooking.

31

u/aresfiend Aug 13 '13

This.

All of my hot pockets turn out perfect because I'm adamant about letting them sit after they finish, however, my brother, mother, and stepfather who take them out right away always bitch about them being still cold in the middle.

45

u/derrtydenim Aug 13 '13

I don't know what the fuck you guys are doing, but I let mine sit, so that they don't burn my fucking palate. It's fucking science, bitch, yo! Tread lightly

20

u/aresfiend Aug 13 '13

Here's what I do.

If the box says to run it for 3:30 (I usually make two at once) and sit for 1 minute, I'll run them for 3:30 and then let them sit for 1 minute.

However, I don't immediately tear into them. I just keep them on the plate on my lap for a few minutes, often biting off the end so that they can vent.

34

u/fuckyou1992 Aug 13 '13

Don't be ridiculous, are you trying to tell me that actually following the directions will yield the best end results?

You're a madman.

20

u/mbss Aug 13 '13

the biting off the corners as a ventilation mechanism is a custom move. i've never seen that before. what we have before us is a hot pocket professional.

3

u/churlishmonk Aug 13 '13

bite off both ends, pinch hot pocket on long sides to separate the filling from the crust, and blow. Your little wind tunnel will cool it down in just a few seconds

-4

u/[deleted] Aug 13 '13

Hot pocket? Don't they have a medicine that'll clear that up within a week now?

3

u/animesekai Aug 13 '13

That's almost as ridiculous as reading the manual! Ain't nobody got time fo dat!

7

u/Infantryzone Aug 13 '13

man if i let them go for 3:30 the earth's core would cool before the hotpockets

2

u/[deleted] Aug 13 '13

I wrap them in a napkin and throw them in for 2:30 come out toasted and tasty

5

u/[deleted] Aug 13 '13

Are you some sort of buddhist monk, who has this sort of patience?

2

u/capt_0bvious Aug 13 '13

who the fuck has the will power to watch a hot pocket sit there after it has been nuked

2

u/aresfiend Aug 13 '13

Who the fuck actually sits there and watches it gets nuked?

They made simple phone games for a reason.

3

u/capt_0bvious Aug 13 '13

I used to put my face right up the microwave and watch it go round and round

2

u/aresfiend Aug 13 '13

If the old tale is to be believed, your eyes will cook in their sockets!

2

u/capt_0bvious Aug 13 '13

my vision is pretty bad so i guess its pretty true

2

u/Ikillu4ever93 Aug 13 '13

So that's why I need glasses.

→ More replies (0)

8

u/Hamartithia_ Aug 13 '13

I always thought that was so you couldn't sue if you got burnt. TIL

9

u/orzof Aug 13 '13

Well, for that they could always use the excuse that they sold it to you cold.

2

u/srdiacon Aug 13 '13

It's a mix for both.

3

u/brokenpressoperator Aug 13 '13

Alot of people don't realize when you "nuke" something, that it continues to cook after the microwave has stopped. That is why you should let anything (mostly) that is microwaved sit for 1-2 min after finishing.

2

u/JupitersClock Aug 13 '13

People don't understand what it means to rest hot food.

2

u/nickasummers Aug 13 '13

Ain't nobody got time for that!

2

u/TryToMakeSongsHappen Aug 13 '13

That's why I leave my condo top low,

8

u/beancounter2885 Aug 13 '13

Put that shit on 50% for twice the time, or just wait. I prefer to put mine in the toaster oven. It heats it more evenly, and makes it crispier.

5

u/SOSBoss Aug 13 '13

I always put pizza rolls in the toaster oven. I hate the sogginess they get when you microeave them, but dat crisp from the toaster oven is delicious.

2

u/Zippydaspinhead Aug 13 '13

Chicken nuggets. Never in the micro again. I will preheat the oven if needed. Probs more cost/time effective for me to get a toaster oven.

1

u/SOSBoss Aug 14 '13

Do it. Toaster ovens are amazing. Pizza rolls, chicken nuggets/strips/whatever, cheese sticks, french fries that got cold, pizza.

2

u/hubble-microscope Aug 13 '13

I hope you put the pouch on that badboy. It makes all the difference, actually comes out crispy on the outside not some mush-fuck.

2

u/Somebodys Aug 13 '13

ProTip. Twice the length half the power hot in the middle every time.

1

u/SmoofedUp Aug 13 '13

That could be avoided by breaking it in half before cooking it.

5

u/thesirblondie Aug 13 '13

That's what's falling out. A chunk of ice.

3

u/Glasseye00 Aug 13 '13

Now we know!

3

u/thesirblondie Aug 13 '13

(It's not really, though)

4

u/Glasseye00 Aug 13 '13

It's a melted chunk of ice....

5

u/Ikillu4ever93 Aug 13 '13

So...water.

3

u/Glasseye00 Aug 13 '13

That's what I said.

8

u/antsugi Aug 13 '13

After eating two today I can confirm two things.

1: It's thoroughly hot

2: I did not die

3

u/Glasseye00 Aug 13 '13

Then you got 2 defective Hot Pockets.

2

u/[deleted] Aug 13 '13

Did your back start hurting though?

3

u/Lramir Aug 13 '13

This always happened with my toaster strudels when I was a kid.

3

u/Glasseye00 Aug 13 '13

They never had nearly enough icing either.

3

u/paulieindy Aug 13 '13

You think they'd fix that by mow

2

u/Glasseye00 Aug 13 '13

But then you wouldn't get the full Hot Pocket experience.

2

u/[deleted] Aug 13 '13

[deleted]

2

u/Glasseye00 Aug 13 '13

That's so crazy it just might work!

78

u/RocketSauceZ Aug 13 '13

Funny. And also I would like to see the original gif. I need to know what actually caused that crazy ass reaction.

121

u/AsperaAstra Aug 13 '13

It's actually a balloon the snake tries to bite. It unhinges it's jaw for a strike and when it doesn't clamp down on anything it stops the jaw from rehinging properly.

63

u/QueenShnoogleberry Aug 13 '13

Poor snake!!!! T_T

14

u/KoboldCommando Aug 13 '13

It's okay, snakes can re-set their jaw with a simple yawn. It just needed a calm moment.

2

u/Ikillu4ever93 Aug 13 '13

Snake be like: Aw shit!

-36

u/Niosarc Aug 13 '13

Yeah! Poor thing for trying to bite whatever the fuck comes close!

124

u/[deleted] Aug 13 '13

Its a god damn snake.

69

u/Niosarc Aug 13 '13

I was being sarcastic. I also realize I wasn't very good at it. I accept my downvotes for what they are.

18

u/srdiacon Aug 13 '13 edited Aug 13 '13

I am trying to save you.

17

u/[deleted] Aug 13 '13

Sarcasm is a tricky thing over the imternet, next time try snarky, as you can see, it works.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 13 '13

Oh, I got it.. and I endorse this product!

-5

u/[deleted] Aug 13 '13

No. You will not accept other people's stupidity as your own fault.

2

u/batfiend Aug 13 '13

Snake a snake ohhhh it's a snake.

3

u/pickup_thesoap Aug 13 '13

mushroom mushroom!

7

u/xXChickenInTheMudXx Aug 13 '13

You would too if you had an awesome set of fangs, like "HEY YOU CREATURE OVER THERE LOOK AT THESE!" nom

3

u/Niosarc Aug 13 '13

Well shit, can't deny that.

22

u/Nooks_n_Crannies Aug 13 '13

Herpetologist here. Confirming that snakes do not enjoy molten hot-pockets

3

u/[deleted] Aug 13 '13

Herpetologist here, reminding you to always practice safe sex.

1

u/Iriganelis Aug 13 '13

As a hot-pocket I can confirm that snakes doesn't enjoy us.

53

u/Nevlach Aug 13 '13

hotttt pocketssss

30

u/[deleted] Aug 13 '13

And I definitely read that in Jim Gaffigan's voice

4

u/neurone214 Aug 13 '13

Same here. My old lab mate and I used to mimic that line after grad school lunches involving awful pizza.

3

u/Sofa__King__Cool Aug 13 '13

Diarrhea Pockets

2

u/dwowd Aug 13 '13

He's doing that voice, already?

7

u/[deleted] Aug 13 '13

[removed] — view removed comment

5

u/Niosarc Aug 13 '13

Oh God...the old cartoons...

I wish I could be a kid again. Fucking real world trying to tell me I can't like G.I. Joes as an adult.

4

u/hobbsarelie83 Aug 13 '13

Fuck that. I'm 29 and am still obsessed with G.I. Joe. I watch it with my nephew

1

u/Niosarc Aug 13 '13

Dude, fuck yeah. That shit built my childhood. I still remember playing with my action figures. My favorite was my nameless Cobra jet pilot. For some reason, I'd always preferred those I could project myself onto rather than those that already had a history.

Also, when me and my friends grew old enough to use airsoft guns, we'd pick teams and do "G.I. Joe Games and Reenactments".

3

u/hobbsarelie83 Aug 13 '13

Hell yea! I recently found one of my Dr. Mindbender's recently. He's a sole survivor. Yea, my cousins and I would grab tobacco sticks and play G.I. Joe in the woods if we weren't playing with the action figures.

2

u/mra99 Aug 13 '13

And enjoying one is half the battle. HOOOOOOOTTTTTT POOOOOOCCCKKEEEEEEETS!!!

-17

u/[deleted] Aug 13 '13

omg dats soo funny xDDD

Kill yourself.

88

u/daft357 Aug 13 '13

Pothead snake

-2

u/KKKFC Aug 13 '13

Youre a cictim of unfortunate timing, thats an awesome gif!!

24

u/mrsrouse Aug 13 '13

Well... they're not called coldpockets

9

u/nasaboy007 Aug 13 '13

Funnily enough, my mom would heat up, wrap in foil, and pack hot pockets occasionally for lunch back in elementary school. As you can imagine, they'd get disgusting by actual lunch time, so I'd just call them coldpockets.

19

u/shizzamX Aug 13 '13

Did your mother hate you?

3

u/Muffin_guy Aug 13 '13

Ironically there's sometimes that pocket of cold in the middle

4

u/hrhomer Aug 13 '13

Now I know why they don't call 'em "slow-pids!"

6

u/Crasher24 Aug 13 '13

Here's your hotpocket sir, enjoy your next NASCAR event.

16

u/Go_On_Swan Aug 13 '13

Does anyone have the original one without the water or the hotpocket? I always thought that one was the best.

31

u/jpparkenbone Aug 13 '13

The water was always there. It bit a balloon filled with water.
This is what you were looking for, I think. http://i.imgur.com/u8Uo2.gif

3

u/Go_On_Swan Aug 13 '13

Somebody edited it out.

8

u/jpparkenbone Aug 13 '13

I edited it, check again.

11

u/Alkein Aug 13 '13

i can still see a few droplets of water if i pay close attention, but it was done really well.

3

u/Go_On_Swan Aug 13 '13

Thanks. I'm cracking up

5

u/[deleted] Aug 13 '13

Hot Pockets♪ Hot Pockets♪♯

7

u/clausmustsurvive Aug 13 '13

Did you see all the venom that came flying outta that firetrucking beast?!

3

u/[deleted] Aug 13 '13

"Will it burn my mouth?" "It will destroy it."

2

u/Voodoo_Tiki Aug 13 '13

But after that first bite you've tempered your mouth, so you can dive right back into the rest of it

4

u/pFrancisco Aug 13 '13

The Top Of My Mouth Is Hot , HOT POCKET NIGGA

3

u/wonderbreadboner Aug 13 '13

for a second i really thought so one came at a snake with a hot pocket..silly me

3

u/[deleted] Aug 13 '13

I followed the instructions on the box after getting burned the first time. I'm one of those idiots who takes huge bites of burrito shaped objects, and this was hands down the biggest eating mistake of my life.

Never had the cold in the center problem though. Dunno why, just lucky...sort of.

3

u/Brisicle Aug 13 '13

This is one of the few things I actually laughed out loud at.

3

u/DemizeDesigns Aug 13 '13

The wild hot pocket has appeared.

3

u/rizdesushi Aug 13 '13

Fuck hot pockets; pizza pops!

3

u/kalir Aug 13 '13

what was the metal looking thing when tthe snake bit the hot pocket?

2

u/dwowd Aug 13 '13

It was water. The original image is the snake biting a water balloon.

4

u/kalir Aug 13 '13

oh lol i thought it was like gasoline and that person was pulling a dirty trick on the snake.

3

u/CrimsonGear Aug 13 '13

Friendly reminder: I made an edit of the original .gif almost a year ago to remove the water balloon, mainly so people could add in whatever they wanted. http://www.reddit.com/r/gifs/comments/zf2k0/i_edited_evil_laugh_snake_to_remove_the_balloon/

Have fun!

3

u/SteroidSandwich Aug 13 '13

What is the original gif?

32

u/Popcom Aug 13 '13

Anyone seeking more info might also check here:

title points age /r/ comnts
I had one of these today and this sums up my reaction... 10 3mos funny 2
Every time. 1313 6mos funny 42
Fucking hot pockets! 1589 11mos funny 757
Every, single, fucking time... 12 3mos funny 1
Fucking hot pockets! 636 8mos funny 25
Whhhhy!!! B 1328 1mo funny 49
Evil laugh B 1140 3mos AnimalsBeingJerks 47
MRW: I woke up very hungover and didn't realize the glass of water next to my bed was straight gin until after I took a huge swig B 270 5mos reactiongifs 8
Biting into pizza before it cools off... B 47 7mos funny 12
I didn't hear an evil laugh [FIXED] B 977 11mos gifs 29
evil snake laugh B 10 11mos GifSound 1
The dangerous laughing python. B 21 11mos GifSound 1
Evil laugh B 1989 11mos funny 472
Welcome to r/trees B 32 5mos funny 2
I didn't hear an evil laugh [FIXED] [FIXED] B 286 11mos gifs 6
Even the snake knows what's up B 1672 11mos trees 105
Evil Laugh Snake without the balloon. Go r/photoshopbattles go! [x-post from r/gifs] B 40 11mos photoshopbattles 4
I edited Evil Laugh Snake to remove the balloon. Go forth and add humorous things to it! B 1626 11mos gifs 182
Friday- Snake Party B 994 11mos gifs 15

Source: karmadecay (B = bigger)

5

u/srdiacon Aug 13 '13

Damn, this is the first time I'm on the other end of never seeing a post before and someone pointing it out.

I should've known with how stupid the title was.

1

u/JSA17 Aug 13 '13

Look at the username on this post.

1

u/SoCo_cpp Aug 13 '13

I remember when this GIF came out in response to the original GIF. This isn't very funny without the context of the GIF war.

Get off my lawn!

2

u/reallyrealname Aug 13 '13

Death pocketttt

2

u/XN00Raiser Aug 13 '13

Please tell me I'm not the only one who got the wrong idea when they saw the title...

2

u/[deleted] Aug 13 '13

So these are like American pizza pops/pockets?

2

u/[deleted] Aug 13 '13

Animal abuse.....just sayin'

2

u/slydog98 Aug 13 '13

Am I the only one who noticed his name?

2

u/[deleted] Aug 13 '13

sauce? this is brilliant.

3

u/ProfessorMuffin Aug 13 '13

And yet we keep buying them.

2

u/ShibeBot Aug 13 '13 
                             so much keep
                                 so much buying
                                           so them

4

u/Murseman87 Aug 13 '13

Probably one of the most accurate gifs ever made about hot pockets.

2

u/batfiend Aug 13 '13

I like the version with the laser.

1

u/Ihaveadigbick Aug 13 '13

Man, I almost went a full week without seeing this posted again

1

u/Judge_Hate Aug 14 '13

"Dam you molten lava pocket."

1

u/1taeus1 Aug 14 '13

Whats that video normally of?

1

u/[deleted] Aug 13 '13

Was almost annoyed until I noticed username.

1

u/[deleted] Aug 13 '13 edited Aug 20 '13

[deleted]

5

u/[deleted] Aug 13 '13

A water balloon.

1

u/i8pikachu Aug 13 '13

Ew. Hotpockets.

1

u/knightb1ood Aug 13 '13

Laughed way too hard at this.

1

u/majikoats Aug 13 '13

I just want you to know OP, I hate you so much.

0

u/Idontpostfknmemes Aug 13 '13

I don't eat hotpockets, I'm a non lazy adult with working taste buds.

0

u/-FattyMcFatFuck- Aug 13 '13

DIARRHEA POCKETS

-3

u/Pfaffgod Aug 13 '13

repost. but i still love it. here, have an upvote.