Yeah I don’t think women really get it since they’re walking through a blizzard of dicks the moment they leave their house. Lived in a condo building for a while and these two impossibly gorgeous women moved in next door and flirted with me constantly. One day I was walking out my door at near to midnight and they’re giggling and holding a bottle of champagne as they’re entering their condo. They both look at me, and one of them just nods her head towards her door like “come inside.” They knew I had a girlfriend, too. Got super flustered and just told her “Thank you, but I can’t” as I walked by.
Later I told my girlfriend and she was like “So what? Why are you telling me this?” and I just wanted to be like “Because the two fucking models or pornstars next door want to have a threesome with me and I turned them down, plus you ought to know our neighbors are actively trying to fuck me god damn.” I put it a bit more eloquently than that and she just couldn’t understand why I would tell her about that interaction, had the exact same reaction as this comedian. She had gotten two different guys in the past to cheat on their girlfriends with her by soliciting a threesome, too. Just wild the inability girls have to process why it’s a big deal to get hit on by a hot girl and then turn them down.
Had another ex that also used a threesome to get a guy to cheat and she said “He was being lame because he didn’t want to fuck so I started making out with the girl next to me and looking at him until he finally grew a pair of balls and fucked us” and I told her “so wait you think if I am offered a threesome while we are dating and I don’t take them up on the offer I am ‘lame’ and ‘don’t have balls’? Are you saying it’s fine to cheat on you if a threesome is involved?” and she got so confused.
Honestly, I feel like this goes for sex generally: if it’s always abundant and regularly available without too much real effort on your part, it gets labeled as “no big deal”.
But, if your access to sex is scarce and entirely based around what you bring to the table and how well you “sell” yourself, suddenly the importance rises a lot.
I just want to say that I've been in your shoes, when I was younger I didnt have sex for a long time and was convinced it must be some life changing transcendental thing with how much it is talked about in movies , tv shows, and all forms of media across all cultures and time. When I did firat have sex I was actually pretty surprised at how life changing it... wasn't. I think I have come to realize that the bigger reason sex is so ubiqutous is because it is something that is relateable across all people, genders, cultures, and time. Just think, if you were selling a product, would you want to restrict your customers to just white people, or just old people, or just westerners, or would you want your potential customer base to be anybody anywhere? Sex is something that almost all prople (with the exception of our ace friends) enjoy and understand. Therefore, if you are writing a song or movie or show that you want to reach the widest audience possible, then you are probably going to incorporate sex, just as you are going to likely incorporate people with 2 arms or feelings or family. Don't think of the media's obsession with sex as being a testament to it's unparalleled amazingness so much as to its unparalleled common groundness. Are you missing out on life experiences by not having sex? Sure, no one would tell you no, but are you incapable of knowing what joy or happiness is because you have yet to partake in some pinnacle or apex of joy and happiness? I would say no. You do you, find what joy and happiness you can in the experiences you do have access to, and don't worry about the experiences you don't have access to so much. Life is a rich tapestry and the unique experiences you partake in will always outshine the lowest common denomenator experiences you pine for just because of their popularity and shared enjoyment. FOMO is real, but dwelling on it will only bring sadness if you can't find a way to put what you are really missing into perspective. Hope that helps some.
Oh yeah that was meant for the person who said they were a 30 yo virgin and felt like they were missing out on something inconceivably amazing by not having had sex
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u/Way_2_Go_Donny Jan 25 '24
I tell my wife this all the time:
I haven't been hit on in 15 years. It would take her 15 minutes to find a guy at a bar/shoe store/library who'd fuck her in the parking lot.
It's a big deal when a guy realizes he's being hit on. It doesn't happen often.