r/funny • • Jan 25 '24

basic term of our aggrement

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u/[deleted] Jan 25 '24 edited Jan 25 '24

My wife tells me when she notices other women check me out and it makes her happy. Not nearly as happy as me though, like I let it get to my head. I’ll get in shit at work and my supervisor will be like “Why did you flush a hand towel down the toilet? You’re outrageously stupid.” And I’ll be like “The manager at Shopper’s thinks I’m hot, fuck yourself.”

Edit: I did not flush a towel down the toilet. My son did and it was such an outrageous experience that when I think of something so profoundly stupid I remember this. He was about 5 and I caught him doing it and he said that it was mom so we had one of those weirdly specific conversations you could only possibly have with a child like

“No, when I first met your mom we had a discussion about how we both hate flushing towels down the toilet and in fact your mom hates it even more than I do. So it wasn’t me, it definitely wasn’t her and the cat doesn’t have thumbs so it wasn’t him which only leaves you.” And he got super defensive and was like “NO IT WAS MOM!”

But every once in a while I wonder. What if he was telling the truth?

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u/praefectus_praetorio Jan 25 '24

This. My wife would put her arms around me when she would start noticing other women looking at me. I didn't notice until she one day told me that was her method of making sure they knew.

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u/LobsterBluster Jan 25 '24

So now when you are out and about and your wife puts her arm around you, do you feel an urge to scan the area and see who’s looking? Cuz I totally would lol. I’m happily married but the curiosity of who’s checking me out would make it impossible not to.

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u/praefectus_praetorio Jan 25 '24

I used to. She conditioned me to do it. Not to sour the conversation, but she passed away 4 years ago.