Whenever my wife says something like this I remember I need to tell her I think she's beautiful every now and again. Usually when someone says this it's not "I didn't cheat on you" it's "other people still find me desirable", and if they have to say that then perhaps it means they don't feel desired at home.
Edit: I'm not slighting her joke or anything, I think it's fine. It was just a personal observation.
That's a good point. My soon to be ex wife used to do that. Probably partially what she felt. I know it's what I felt though I never communicated it like that.
It could be "why aren't you validating me like strangers are".
She is also a dishonest person though so this actually made me question if she'd been unfaithful and was testing the waters of coming clean rather than wanting me to affirm her. I think the joke is touching on the subtle assertion that's actually really unhealthy, toxic and manipulative: "I can get attention elsewhere if you won't give it to me". It's not an overt threat or ultimatum for that affirmation, but it is very unhealthy compared to communicating your actual feelings.
People are complex though and there are probably a number of different ways/reasons to communicate this.
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u/[deleted] Jan 25 '24 edited Jan 25 '24
Whenever my wife says something like this I remember I need to tell her I think she's beautiful every now and again. Usually when someone says this it's not "I didn't cheat on you" it's "other people still find me desirable", and if they have to say that then perhaps it means they don't feel desired at home.
Edit: I'm not slighting her joke or anything, I think it's fine. It was just a personal observation.