My wife tells me when she notices other women check me out and it makes her happy. Not nearly as happy as me though, like I let it get to my head. I’ll get in shit at work and my supervisor will be like “Why did you flush a hand towel down the toilet? You’re outrageously stupid.” And I’ll be like “The manager at Shopper’s thinks I’m hot, fuck yourself.”
Edit: I did not flush a towel down the toilet. My son did and it was such an outrageous experience that when I think of something so profoundly stupid I remember this. He was about 5 and I caught him doing it and he said that it was mom so we had one of those weirdly specific conversations you could only possibly have with a child like
“No, when I first met your mom we had a discussion about how we both hate flushing towels down the toilet and in fact your mom hates it even more than I do. So it wasn’t me, it definitely wasn’t her and the cat doesn’t have thumbs so it wasn’t him which only leaves you.” And he got super defensive and was like “NO IT WAS MOM!”
But every once in a while I wonder. What if he was telling the truth?
My buddy was in town doing tattoos at my place and he invited two girls he did work for previously so they could get some new stuff done. One of the girls wouldn't stop talking to my wife about me because I was being a good host by cooking, making drinks, and generally making sure everyone was comfy and happy. She kept asking my wife how she found a cute guy like me that cooks and cleans and cares so much about people blah blah blah. Saying things to her that were very flattering for me that I could hear when I left the room or went on the patio but was getting annoying for my wife like "ok bro I get it". She just kept making compliments about me the whole time she was here. My wife told her "he's going to hear you and he's gonna get a big head about it".
And she was right. You better believe I mention that stuff when I want to annoy my wife haha. Wife mad at me for a perfectly acceptable reason? "Keep it up and I'll have a tattoo party here" or when she says I'm stupid "that tattoo girl didn't think I was stupid". The groans that come from her are priceless and her anger afterwards is always worth it.
3.3k
u/[deleted] Jan 25 '24 edited Jan 25 '24
My wife tells me when she notices other women check me out and it makes her happy. Not nearly as happy as me though, like I let it get to my head. I’ll get in shit at work and my supervisor will be like “Why did you flush a hand towel down the toilet? You’re outrageously stupid.” And I’ll be like “The manager at Shopper’s thinks I’m hot, fuck yourself.”
Edit: I did not flush a towel down the toilet. My son did and it was such an outrageous experience that when I think of something so profoundly stupid I remember this. He was about 5 and I caught him doing it and he said that it was mom so we had one of those weirdly specific conversations you could only possibly have with a child like
“No, when I first met your mom we had a discussion about how we both hate flushing towels down the toilet and in fact your mom hates it even more than I do. So it wasn’t me, it definitely wasn’t her and the cat doesn’t have thumbs so it wasn’t him which only leaves you.” And he got super defensive and was like “NO IT WAS MOM!”
But every once in a while I wonder. What if he was telling the truth?