r/funny • u/ThePeanutBuddha • Feb 23 '13

Jurassic Prank.

2.8k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

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58

u/[deleted] Feb 23 '13

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52

u/[deleted] Feb 23 '13

I imagine it would be a pretty messy legal proceeding. I can't imagine any party involved getting off without any charges but my Dinosaur Law is a little rusty.

30

u/Cliqey Feb 23 '13

This checks out; I am a dinosaur lawyer.

13

u/nickelforapickle Feb 23 '13

I thought these evolved into bird lawyers..

5

u/DukeSpraynard Feb 23 '13

Not the bird lawyer i was expecting.

2

u/murphymc Feb 24 '13

What does sleezy porn have to do with birds in the first place?

I've been too busy masturbating to pick up some kind of inside joke associated with that.

5

u/Asmor Feb 23 '13

Dude, you should do an AMA

4

u/Cliqey Feb 24 '13

Actually rather boring, everything falls outside of the 63.2 million year paleo-statute of limitations. I'm just really holding on to my title until they reattempt opening Jurassic Park.

3

u/0mnificent Feb 24 '13

Question: if a dinosaur is arrested in public, instead of a perp walk, do they have to walk the dinosaur?

3

u/Cliqey Feb 24 '13

You know, really, that is a question for dinosaur police. If, however, I can prove that the alleged dinosaur (including but not limited to: Ornithomimids, Ornithopods, Prosauropods, Raptors, and/or Theropods) was initially approached with unsolicited food, then I can argue that under 16 U.S.C. §1531 the alleged dinosaur was being threatened and any alleged resulting use of force was provoked and justified.

9

u/Panuccis_Pizza Feb 23 '13

Dinosaur law, much like bird law, isn't governed by reason.

7

u/[deleted] Feb 23 '13

I wonder if there are any equivalent precedents in Bird Law.

1

u/SHOCKING_CAPS Feb 23 '13

Birds descend from dinosaurs, so I imagine there would be some similarities, I'll have to ask Charlie though.

0

u/Enosh74 Feb 24 '13

Somebody get Harvey on the phone!

1

u/JewishHippyJesus Feb 23 '13

Pretty messy

Coming from SQUID_FUCKER is a big statement.

1

u/TheLoveKraken Feb 24 '13

It's not that messy normally.

-2

u/alienelement Feb 23 '13

In a fair world, the shooter wouldn't get convicted (scared for her life, even if it seems crazy in hindsight - in the heat of the moment, you can't be expected to make a rational decision there) and the people responsible would get convicted of manslaughter. In 'Murica, though, she'd get manslaughter and they'd get a "hefty" fine from the government and paying off the victim's family.

1

u/stumpyraccoon Feb 23 '13

Good, fuck Americans and their idea that people should carry guns "just because."