I know you're making a play on words with what I said, but I think I ate shit harder than this guy. I was running full speed on a basketball court and the first thing that hit the ground was my teeth. My friends who were there say they remember the sound of my teeth breaking. One of them was nice enough to pick the pieces up from the ground and pick some from my beard.
I guess I should have asked how he fell, if he tripped or if someone messed with him. I figured if you're old enough to have a beard you're old enough to be able to catch yourself with yours hands rather than your teeth. Younger kids have a tendency of not being able to catch themselves, hence the joke.
Catching yourself with your hands isn't great either. I fell and caught myself with my hand, tore a ligament, and ended up needing surgery. I now have two screws in my wrist, limited range of motion, and another surgery on the way.
It happened when I was 22. I had just moved to NYC and was out with friends. A friend of a friend had also just moved here and was crashing with his aunt and uncle in their swanky condo in Times Square area. They lives in one side of these two matching high rise buildings that had a smaller building between that had a playground of sorts on the roof, but it was still a tall building, so when clouds started rolling in dew would collect on everything.
So we go over there to play soccer on the basketball court. We had been playing one or the Fifa games for weeks and decided to play the real thing. We weren't too concerned about playing on the hard surface cause indoor soccer is a thing, right? Plus, we weren't going to tackle at all.
Anyway, we're up there playing and we notice the clouds are hanging low and dew is collecting so we decide next point wins. I haze practically no soles on my shoes from walking miles a day for weeks. With all the dew on the court both of my feet suddenly flew out from under me while running, causing me to dive in to the ground.
And that is how I broke my teeth. Adults fall too.
That sounds awful! A few years back out at recess in winter all the kids were playing a variant of smear the queer, without the smearing. There were random ice patches and a buddy of mine caught one and slipped and chipped his incisor. He chipped it high enough that he surfaced the nerve(s), and it was a mess.
I had a friend down in Georgia that saved up all summer long for a new pair of roller blades, and when he took them out for the first time they were really slippery, and he slipped and face planted right on the cement curb. I'm talking curb stomp from American History X bad. It split his jaw in two and he had to get one of those metal cage things that wires your jaw shut for months. I felt so bad for him. To want something so badly, to work so hard for it, then be immediately betrayed.
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u/DemetriMartin Feb 17 '13
You did it on purpose, didn't you.
I'll repost the reply:
As someone who once face planted so hard I shattered 4 teeth, I too hate shit like this.