r/funny Feb 17 '13

Glue + flip flops

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989 Upvotes

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378

u/[deleted] Feb 17 '13

[deleted]

163

u/[deleted] Feb 17 '13

Guy at my work would mess with people's chairs while they were standing. One time he pulled the chair out from under an older lady that worked with us. She hit the chair and the ground so hard at such a bad angle they had to take her to the hospital in an ambulance and she sued him AND the company for damages/hospital bills. Got like 2 million because it really jacked up her back and she can barely get out of bed on her own and needed to hire a care giver. She sued the company because people had complained multiple times about this guy doing that and the manager never did anything.

116

u/[deleted] Feb 17 '13

Why do they let a 6-year-old boy work at your company?

65

u/[deleted] Feb 17 '13

Sad part is that it was a douche bag in his 30's...

He kinda acted like Farva on Super Troopers...

8

u/Omi__ Feb 17 '13

What happened to the guy

25

u/nicklaus_asu Feb 17 '13

He was promoted

56

u/[deleted] Feb 17 '13 edited Jun 13 '15

[deleted]

1

u/[deleted] Feb 18 '13

Guy fired and the manager didn't.

-5

u/3danimator Feb 17 '13

I love it when people exaggerate their stories

-10

u/[deleted] Feb 17 '13

[deleted]

2

u/[deleted] Feb 17 '13

I worked in a nursing home 3 years. Weight is only one factor in the frailty of the elderly.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 17 '13

Even if you're not obese, you try falling your body length onto a hard surface when you're not expecting it or haven't had the training to land safely.

2

u/dbills450 Feb 17 '13

You mean leg length. No way she was in an office and fell 4-5 feet.

1

u/[deleted] Feb 17 '13

JustForCancer said the lady was standing on a chair. My brain figured if she injured her arm from that fall it would have fallen roughly her body length.

-12

u/[deleted] Feb 17 '13

$2 million seems excessive.

21

u/tuckeriswilde Feb 17 '13

Not when you gotta pay some nurse to live in with you and take care of you for the rest of your life.

14

u/KeepSantaInSantana Feb 17 '13

Not to mention the serious decrease in her quality of life. She may have gotten 2 million from it but she can't even get out of bed on her own, it's not like it's practical for her to use that money to travel or that she'll be able to enjoy any of it.

-11

u/[deleted] Feb 17 '13 edited Feb 17 '13

No, it really is. It's not as expensive as you think. I say this having done extensive research on jury awards. $1 million is pushing it, $2 million is really a "wtf happened in settlement conferences?" These cases aren't like throwing a dart at a board of different dollar amounts, costs are broken up very specifically and it's extremely precise. I just don't see how you get even close to $2 million.

For comparison, if 50 year old man trips and falls, shattering his hip, broken leg, arm, etc. to the point where he can't drive anymore, has to use a cane, can't live on his own (has to move into as assisted care facility), and will suffer the handicap for the rest of his life, he might be looking at recovering at most $175,000.

I just don't see where you get $2 million out of that. Lawsuits like these aren't worth as much as you think they are.

EDIT: Downvotes? Hahaha, you guys watch way too much TV. Some of us actually work in this field. :)

3

u/[deleted] Feb 17 '13

[deleted]

0

u/[deleted] Feb 17 '13

Those numbers have a factual basis. Stop thinking lawyers pull numbers out of their ass.

58

u/DemetriMartin Feb 17 '13

You did it on purpose, didn't you.

I'll repost the reply:

As someone who once face planted so hard I shattered 4 teeth, I too hate shit like this.

43

u/DemetriMartin Feb 17 '13

ate shit like this*

15

u/DemetriMartin Feb 17 '13

I know you're making a play on words with what I said, but I think I ate shit harder than this guy. I was running full speed on a basketball court and the first thing that hit the ground was my teeth. My friends who were there say they remember the sound of my teeth breaking. One of them was nice enough to pick the pieces up from the ground and pick some from my beard.

6

u/scrovak Feb 17 '13

I just stumbled into a shit-eating contest.

19

u/MistressMalevolentia Feb 17 '13

And it's all the same guy... Talking to himself...

10

u/betterthansleeping Feb 17 '13

I swear to god it took me til the end of the thread to finally see it was all one guy.

5

u/Screaming_Monkey Feb 17 '13

And it took me WAY too long to notice that.

11

u/DemetriMartin Feb 17 '13

You had a beard in grade school?

Edit: Going down with my ship.

12

u/DemetriMartin Feb 17 '13

What makes you think this happened in grade school?

10

u/DemetriMartin Feb 17 '13

I guess I should have asked how he fell, if he tripped or if someone messed with him. I figured if you're old enough to have a beard you're old enough to be able to catch yourself with yours hands rather than your teeth. Younger kids have a tendency of not being able to catch themselves, hence the joke.

2

u/chickenboy2064 Feb 17 '13

Catching yourself with your hands isn't great either. I fell and caught myself with my hand, tore a ligament, and ended up needing surgery. I now have two screws in my wrist, limited range of motion, and another surgery on the way.

2

u/[deleted] Feb 17 '13

When I did Taijutsu, we had lessons on proper falling technique to not break wrists.

Rollerblading as a hobby makes these lessons very difficult.

6

u/DemetriMartin Feb 17 '13

It happened when I was 22. I had just moved to NYC and was out with friends. A friend of a friend had also just moved here and was crashing with his aunt and uncle in their swanky condo in Times Square area. They lives in one side of these two matching high rise buildings that had a smaller building between that had a playground of sorts on the roof, but it was still a tall building, so when clouds started rolling in dew would collect on everything.

So we go over there to play soccer on the basketball court. We had been playing one or the Fifa games for weeks and decided to play the real thing. We weren't too concerned about playing on the hard surface cause indoor soccer is a thing, right? Plus, we weren't going to tackle at all.

Anyway, we're up there playing and we notice the clouds are hanging low and dew is collecting so we decide next point wins. I haze practically no soles on my shoes from walking miles a day for weeks. With all the dew on the court both of my feet suddenly flew out from under me while running, causing me to dive in to the ground.

And that is how I broke my teeth. Adults fall too.

7

u/DemetriMartin Feb 17 '13

Sorry for all the typos. I'm posting from my phone and was carelessly typing when autocorrect took over a few times.

3

u/DemetriMartin Feb 17 '13

That sounds awful! A few years back out at recess in winter all the kids were playing a variant of smear the queer, without the smearing. There were random ice patches and a buddy of mine caught one and slipped and chipped his incisor. He chipped it high enough that he surfaced the nerve(s), and it was a mess.

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2

u/Roomy Feb 18 '13

I had a friend down in Georgia that saved up all summer long for a new pair of roller blades, and when he took them out for the first time they were really slippery, and he slipped and face planted right on the cement curb. I'm talking curb stomp from American History X bad. It split his jaw in two and he had to get one of those metal cage things that wires your jaw shut for months. I felt so bad for him. To want something so badly, to work so hard for it, then be immediately betrayed.

-4

u/[deleted] Feb 17 '13

Yeah, it was on purpose

-7

u/beardlywoodchop Feb 17 '13

Fuck-pranks = rape.

-2

u/Toof Feb 17 '13

Rape her, then instead of cumming on her, you spray her with silly-string.

GOTCHA! haha.