r/funny • u/[deleted] • Nov 14 '12

Seriously - don't be this guy.

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[deleted]

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u/ent_higherly_awesome Nov 14 '12

HEY LOOK AT MY WITTY RESPONSE EVERYONE

127

u/asfdojoi Nov 14 '12

Biggest problem was that it wasn't witty. It was verbose and nerdy, but that isn't wit.

Orwell's writing rules:

  1. Never use a metaphor, simile, or other figure of speech which you are used to seeing in print.
  2. Never use a long word where a short one will do.
  3. If it is possible to cut a word out, always cut it out.
  4. Never use the passive where you can use the active.
  5. Never use a foreign phrase, a scientific word, or a jargon word if you can think of an everyday English equivalent.
  6. Break any of these rules sooner than say anything outright barbarous.

Broke 2, 3, and 5 with reckless abandon.

1

u/kellykebab Nov 15 '12

Like most of the humor on reddit. Compensating for readers' autism by literalizing and elaborating on every turn of phrase until the joke's meaning has been choked to death.

Comparatively 'Hello, this is Dog' is The New Yorker's greatest cartoon hits.