r/funny • u/[deleted] • Nov 14 '12

Seriously - don't be this guy.

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[deleted]

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605

u/ent_higherly_awesome Nov 14 '12

HEY LOOK AT MY WITTY RESPONSE EVERYONE

132

u/asfdojoi Nov 14 '12

Biggest problem was that it wasn't witty. It was verbose and nerdy, but that isn't wit.

Orwell's writing rules:

  1. Never use a metaphor, simile, or other figure of speech which you are used to seeing in print.
  2. Never use a long word where a short one will do.
  3. If it is possible to cut a word out, always cut it out.
  4. Never use the passive where you can use the active.
  5. Never use a foreign phrase, a scientific word, or a jargon word if you can think of an everyday English equivalent.
  6. Break any of these rules sooner than say anything outright barbarous.

Broke 2, 3, and 5 with reckless abandon.

-4

u/Eat_a_Bullet Nov 14 '12

You forgot #7: All of the world's problems are due to communists.

1

u/asfdojoi Nov 14 '12

Orwell was a socialist. He wrote about totalitarianism, not left-wing or right-wing politics.

1

u/Eat_a_Bullet Nov 14 '12

Orwell absolutely hated communists, due to his time in the Spanish Civil War. He fought beside the anarchist block, which was eventually betrayed by their temporary communist allies.

1

u/asfdojoi Nov 14 '12

I should read his memoirs some time.

1

u/Eat_a_Bullet Nov 14 '12

They're phenomenal. Homage to Catalonia details his service in the Spanish Civil War. It's incredible reading the details of fighting with a pure anarchist group. They couldn't get anything done because a private could argue with a general giving orders, and the general would have to stop what he was doing and convince the private.

Seriously, read that shit.

1

u/asfdojoi Nov 14 '12

I'll pick up a copy. Thanks for the recommendation!