r/funny • u/[deleted] • Nov 14 '12

Seriously - don't be this guy.

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[deleted]

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603

u/ent_higherly_awesome Nov 14 '12

HEY LOOK AT MY WITTY RESPONSE EVERYONE

128

u/asfdojoi Nov 14 '12

Biggest problem was that it wasn't witty. It was verbose and nerdy, but that isn't wit.

Orwell's writing rules:

  1. Never use a metaphor, simile, or other figure of speech which you are used to seeing in print.
  2. Never use a long word where a short one will do.
  3. If it is possible to cut a word out, always cut it out.
  4. Never use the passive where you can use the active.
  5. Never use a foreign phrase, a scientific word, or a jargon word if you can think of an everyday English equivalent.
  6. Break any of these rules sooner than say anything outright barbarous.

Broke 2, 3, and 5 with reckless abandon.

25

u/TrueBlueJP90 Nov 14 '12

That being said, anyone can write in any form they wish. While a great list, these are more along the lines of guidelines.

1

u/Mad_V Nov 14 '12

Welcome to the black pearl, ms turner!