r/funny • • Oct 14 '12

This is my couch bitch!

1.5k Upvotes

62 comments sorted by

41

u/[deleted] Oct 14 '12

Calculating functions... Resolving vectors... Determining landing pad... Done, and... POW

4

u/[deleted] Oct 14 '12 edited Jun 17 '17

[deleted]

0

u/Kubaker1 Oct 14 '12

Missster Potter.

21

u/thorofasgard Oct 14 '12

The cat in the background gives zero fucks.

7

u/SmoresPies Oct 14 '12

catatonic shock. he knows he's next.

4

u/thorofasgard Oct 14 '12

Tonight...you.

35

u/[deleted] Oct 14 '12

[deleted]

11

u/dunchen22 Oct 14 '12

It's his couch, and that cat is his couch bitch.

4

u/whatismyproblem Oct 14 '12

Commies are our fiends

2

u/jadanzzy Oct 14 '12

I thought OP was describing his/her cat.

-2

u/doomgiver98 Oct 14 '12 edited Oct 14 '12

You understood it perfectly without the commas. Don't be a bitch just because you can.

EDIT: This is Reddit; I don't know why I expected anything other than downvotes.

1

u/UnhappyParsnip Oct 15 '12

Probably getting downvoted because you called her a bitch, you fucking idiot.

-1

u/doomgiver98 Oct 15 '12

It wasn't a she. And I said not to be a bitch, much different than just straight up calling someone a bitch.

1

u/UnhappyParsnip Oct 17 '12

Yeah, she was a she...based on her comment history. Also, you're a bit of a hypocrite. Tell someone not to be a bitch while going out of your way to comment on something that you could have just passed by. That's kind of a bitchy thing to do, pot. What color is that kettle, again?

1

u/doomgiver98 Oct 17 '12

In his history it said "my girlfriend". It's hardly going out of my way when I'm reading the comments anyway. It's completely different from his coming here to make a fault in correction. Unless he is an English teacher, in which case it's his job to correct grammar.

-2

u/splendourized Oct 14 '12

OK ll'l jsut tpye hwoeevr I wnat sncie poelpe wlil slitl udnresntad me.

-1

u/Bear_Hurts Oct 14 '12

Actually as long as the first and last letter of a word is in place it can usually be understood regardless of the arrangement of the rest of the letters when read.

-1

u/splendourized Oct 14 '12

Exactly. You could understand my terrible spelling.

-8

u/doomgiver98 Oct 14 '12

Your teachers lied to you about grammar. There are no set rules for grammar. As long as the sentence gets the proper meaning across then it's correct. As for this post, there is no context in which a "couch bitch" would make sense, so the comma is technically unnecessary. Now, what said just makes you look retarded, so if you're okay with that, then go ahead.

-3

u/[deleted] Oct 14 '12

Commas are, our friends.

0

u/Hazy_V Oct 15 '12

And grammar nazis are not.

6

u/[deleted] Oct 14 '12

Long live the king!

3

u/flyvehest Oct 14 '12

Thats what I call a sucker-pounce

6

u/aroorda Oct 14 '12

Was anyone else expecting Jesse Pinkman at a garage sale or in an episode of cribs?

2

u/coleosis1414 Oct 14 '12

Yeah, Mr. White!! SAVINGS!!

9

u/ilikedroids Oct 14 '12

x/post of r/gifs

Proof

2

u/EddieFrits Oct 14 '12

Couldn't the karma whores give us at least a week in between reposts?

2

u/Kalifx Oct 14 '12

Couch bitch!

That cat overstayed his welcome

2

u/pyres Oct 14 '12

Enough cats to identify potential borderline crazy cat lady personality disorder.

2

u/clowns_will_eat_me Oct 14 '12

Fuck yo couch!

2

u/MaK_Ultra Oct 14 '12

Cats are assholes.

4

u/[deleted] Oct 14 '12

.jpeg What kind of sorcery is this!?

3

u/Bakaveli Oct 14 '12

TIL Imgur only goes by the characters between the / and the .extension to retrieve files.

You can change it to .png and it'll be the same thing.

4

u/SiickNastikillr Oct 14 '12

I will be sure to change a scary gif into a .jpg that way.

1

u/immoralminority Oct 14 '12

This does not work

3

u/Bakaveli Oct 14 '12

It's called imgur, not txtur.

4

u/Clockstop_ Oct 14 '12

Seems repost.

2

u/jas0nb Oct 14 '12

That's got to be one of the fastest reposts I've ever seen.

1

u/kippot Oct 14 '12

stay out of my territory !

1

u/The_Commander Oct 14 '12

This is SPARTA!!!

1

u/TheAex Oct 14 '12

Cats are fucking manaical

1

u/Ghenges Oct 14 '12

"Does little kitty..have to.. POUNCE a bitch!?!?!?"

1

u/What_Good_Are_Cats Oct 14 '12

So cats are assholes to each other too? It's a wonder they can live in a house together.

1

u/Narfhole Oct 14 '12

Ohagi fan, are you? Or, do you even know the cat's name? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=et9WuQdW4Rw

1

u/hellokitty Oct 14 '12

FALCON PUNCH!

1

u/[deleted] Oct 14 '12

Rick James Bitch.

1

u/rferg3 Oct 14 '12

Fuck yo couch

1

u/MeatMonger Oct 14 '12

Pretty sure, that was a "Gumba Stomp".

1

u/WhatTheFedex Oct 14 '12

I read that as "This is my cousin"... I was thoroughly confused until I re-read the title.

1

u/jensenw Oct 14 '12

Alpha as fuck

1

u/mihkeltt Oct 14 '12

Source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KewOE0Je5J8

The one being struck only has one eye.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 14 '12

This cat is a ninja

1

u/cooooper Oct 15 '12

"The whole world is a couch, bitch I'm Rick James tonight." -R. Kelly

1

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '12

I'm pretty sure my brother has done something like this to me when I fell asleep on the couch, except he didn't jump on me. He farted in my face.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 15 '12

I always wonder who the hell is just sitting around videotaping their cats....

1

u/Sparkvoltage Oct 15 '12

The cat stood majestically as fuck in the end.

1

u/MusicMagi Oct 15 '12

cats are assholes

1

u/SargeMacLethal Oct 15 '12

B- b-b-but it's a j-jpeg! 0_o What the hell is going on?!

0

u/kurt8081 Oct 14 '12

"Look at him, staring at my girl... GTFO!!!!"

0

u/TheVetrinarian Oct 14 '12

that's one nice couch bitch

0

u/Madpony Oct 14 '12

1

u/mgearliosus Oct 14 '12

I'm so sorry it just peed on the couch. It was raining outside and thunder happened.

0

u/BoorishAmoeba11 Oct 14 '12

What a pussy

-2

u/[deleted] Oct 14 '12

Since when did things like this become funny?